The Christ-Centered Father

Introduction

Before we go through with an action or purchase an item, we often count the cost. For many of us, we do this by looking at the value of something. Suppose you earn $20/hour and there are a pair of shoes that you really want and they cost $100. One way that people make the decision of buying the shoes or not is by valuing the time it takes to earn $100. Are these shoes worth 5 hours of work? Maybe they are… Maybe they are not! Let’s up the ante a little bit. The Bible shares with us that Children are a gift from God and they are to trained in the instruction of the Lord. What does this require? What does it look like to teach someone in the instruction of the Lord? It takes many different things! It certainly takes love, time, devotion and sacrifice. It takes patience, willingness, gentleness, and courage! It takes everything that we have and then some! The question before us this morning, dads, moms, parents, grandparents, is this: Is it worth it? Is it worth it to spend time teaching my child about Jesus? Is it worth it to discipline my child whenever they sin against God? Is it worth it to disciple my child to be more like Jesus? Is it worth it to make sacrifices so that Jesus is exalted in my family? Is Jesus worth it?

In our society, the role of the father is a bit of an unknown. Some families do not have a father whatsoever. Other families have a father who is absent more than he is present. Some families have a father who is present but is unengaged and inattentive. Other families have a father who is overbearing. While some families have a father who strives to be a servant leader.

Studies are clear that families that have a dad who is not only present but actively engaged experience tangible benefits. Psychologists, even secular ones, note this nowadays and this is called the “Father Effect.” Families with a Father present have children who have higher test scores in school, higher brain function, less likelihood of teenage sexual activity, and higher levels of self-esteem. The world of psychology knows this and even though society views gender roles in a negative context often times, society sees the benefits and stats associated with a father figure being present. Some in the world say that the father figure is outdated, other in the world say that the father figure is important. What does the church say? Scratch that. What does the Bible say?

The Bible shares with us that both Father and Mother are incredibly important for the nuclear family. The Bible shares with us something deeper than merely being present in the family but rather the Godly leadership component that is supposed to be present. It’s one thing to be around, it’s another to be engaged. This morning, as we celebrate Father’s Day and study out of God’s Word, my prayer is that we would be encouraged in knowing that if you are a child of God, you have a perfect Father. You’re not going to find that on this side of heaven, and I say that to myself as a new father, but regardless of your past experiences with your earthly father, you have a heavenly Father who loves you unconditionally and who is always there for you in your time of need! On that same line of thinking, though, our heavenly Father calls us to be like Him. Father’s, the world says that the greatest thing that you can do is to love and provide for your kids. These are two of the greatest things that we can do, but there is something that must come first: You must love Jesus Christ. Paul, in Ephesians 5, talks about how a husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. How do you know how much Christ loved His Church? By first loving Christ and experiencing His love. As one study found a couple of years ago, Father’s play a crucial role in the rest of their family coming to church and faith in Jesus. Did you know that whenever a dad accepts Christ as Lord, 93% of the time, his family will follow? This is contrasted with only 17% of families coming to church after the mom accepts Christ as Lord.

Dad’s, as you love Jesus, Jesus changes everything! Your love for your wife and children should be a natural outflow of your love for Jesus. As you lead your family, you don’t do so out of anger or dominance, you do so out of a proper understanding of your calling by God to lead your family to be more like Jesus Christ. The attack of the enemy on the family has been intense in recent years and we need to stir up husbands and fathers who love Jesus and who seek to win their family and friends to the Lord.

Let’s read out of Hebrews 12 this morning as we study what Godly Fatherhood looks like

Hebrews 12:3–11 CSB

3 For consider him who endured such hostility from sinners against himself, so that you won’t grow weary and give up. 4 In struggling against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: My son, do not take the Lord’s discipline lightly or lose heart when you are reproved by him, 6 for the Lord disciplines the one he loves and punishes every son he receives. 7 Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline? 8 But if you are without discipline—which all receive—then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we had human fathers discipline us, and we respected them. Shouldn’t we submit even more to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but he does it for our benefit, so that we can share his holiness. 11 No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

This passage of Scripture comes at the conclusion of the sermon of Hebrews and we’ve studied this book in depth back in 2020. What the preacher of Hebrews is highlighting in this particular text is that God, as the perfect Father, disciplines His sons and daughters and the purpose behind this discipline is that we would become more like Christ Jesus. This is the purpose behind Godly Fatherhood. Not that Father’s use and abuse their power or family, but that they would love their family in such a way that Jesus is exalted and made known!

This morning we are going to study several observations from this text and from the totality of Scripture regarding Fatherhood and how the Christian family should look different than the rest of the world! Is it worth it to be motivated and intentional about our calling from God, men?

Motivated Men Make Time

In a world of busyness, time is becoming more and more scarce. Not only this, but our available free time is being pulled in different directions. I talked a couple of weeks ago with our youth at youth camp about how we don’t always use our free time in the most wise of ways. Are you willing to admit that you occasionally waste your free time doing next to nothing? Now I’m all for taking a good nap or resting here and there, but there are times where we don’t make good use of our time. During my freshman year of college, God provided a great group of guys in my dorm who became lifelong friends of mine. As we grew during our first few months of college, we quickly realized that we used our free time slightly differently. Some would want to go to the gym and play basketball or work out. Others would go outside and play disc golf or hike around. Others would binge watch Netflix shows or play video games. We all had different interests and ways to spend our down time and relax. Fast forward to the end of our first semester and finals week was right around the corner. We had a lot of free-time on our hands and, as a result, some of the guys decided it would be great to have a video game tournament on Saturday night leading into finals week. Several individuals were playing from Saturday afternoon all the way until Sunday morning. One guy finally went to sleep and woke back up at 4pm on Sunday only to realize that he had a final at 8am on Monday!

We don’t always use our time in the wisest manner, and sadly that carries over to adulthood as well. It can be easy to prioritize and put time into lots of different things. Some of these things are good, as well! It is a blessing to have a job and friends and family members. It is a blessing to have a hobby that can give you peace in stressful moments. However, faithful followers of Jesus Christ make time for their family and they protect that time.

In our text in Hebrews 12, the preacher is reminding a group of early Christians of the sufferings of Jesus Christ and how they must consider Him. What does it mean to consider Jesus? Does it simply mean to think about Him? Is it deeper than that? Al Mohler notes that the idea in Hebrews 12:3 is to, “constantly look to Jesus for inspiration and encouragement.” We live in a world of change. A world of busyness. A world where we look to many different things on a consistent basis. How can we do a better job of constantly looking to Jesus Christ? One of the best ways is by having that modeled out in our very own lives. By having someone that you look up to take intentional time to look to Jesus and encourage you to do the very same.

Danny Akin, president of SEBTS in North Carolina, shared a message at TGC in 2019 on Teaching Kids to Love the Nations. I first listened to this sermon on the way to Illinois in January after Gabriel had been born and I was a wreck in listening to what Akin had to share about the importance of raising up Godly children who love Jesus and who desire to make Jesus known to the world! Friends, this is our goal and task as the body of Christ. If you are 70 years old, you only have another decade or two left. If you are 7 years old, you hopefully have many decades left. If we want to leave a lasting imprint on the world, we have work to do personally, yes, but we also need to equip the next generation and that requires our time! It requires our devotion and constantly looking to Jesus Christ.

Akin, in this message, shared a convicting truth about children. Even if children don’t readily admit it, survey after survey report that children say that their hero is their mom and their dad. Not their friend. Not their parent. Their hero in life isn’t the Hollywood actor or actress. It’s not the sport star. It’s not the fashion icon or the famous spokesperson. The majority of kids say that it’s my parent. Yet, did you know that many parents admit that they don’t spend as much time with their kids as they would like? Maybe you’re the opposite and you’re thinking that you spend too much time with your kids!

Several studies in the last 20 years have reported this: On average 5 year olds between 25-35 minutes a week just with their dad and 20-25 hours a week with a TV screen. Again, we’re experts at justifying things. We’re busy. We can’t do this. We can’t do that. I let the kids watch veggietales so that screen time is “good” - that’s not the point. Readers Digest reported this finding with 4-5 year olds when asked if they would rather give away your TV or your dad. How many do you think said they’d rather give away their dad than their TV or tablet? 1/3. 33% said give me the screen, take away my dad. This broke my heart. It still breaks my heart. Regardless of the circumstance, make time. As one person put it, “You’ll never regret the time you spent with your family when your life is coming to a close. You’ll regret not spending more time with them.” Motivated Men Make Time. The world has lots of things to throw at kids, what our kids need is a dad who is there to redirect the focus to Jesus as Hebrews 12:3 reminds us to do.

Motivated Men Make Disciples

Not only should Christians spend time with their family, the goal is always to make disciples! We’re familiar with the Great Commission in Matthew 28 where Jesus says

Matthew 28:18–19 CSB

18 Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

Does Jesus say anything about making converts? How about making Sunday school attenders? How about VBS or Camp participants? Those are all good things, but that’s not the emphasis. It’s on making disciples. What is a disciple? In the world, a disciple is simply a student or learner. What do we mean regarding Christian disciples? We literally mean that: a person who continues to learn about and follow Jesus Christ. See, if we are going to make disciples, as Jesus commands, what is the process through which we do this? The process is called discipleship. Learning more about Jesus. Growing to be more like Him. Where do we do this? Is Sunday School a time of discipleship? Absolutely. Is Wednesday night a time of discipleship? Absolutely. Is 2 hours a week enough time to adequately disciple ourselves? Absolutely not.

Where must discipleship start? Our time together at church is a great supplement to discipleship, but discipleship must start at the home. I was talking with a school board member of a SW MO school and he mentioned to me that children that are open with mom and dad about school work and goals and the future typically are the students who succeed the most in school. Not always, but a large percent of the best students at one of the best high schools around note that their parents play an active part in their education. What a concept, right? If parents care so much about the success of their children in the world of academics, shouldn’t we care significantly more about the spiritual wellbeing of our kids?

In our text we see in Hebrews 12 that God disciplines the one that He loves. Without going too off the path with discipline, we see throughout Scripture that this is a part of parenting. It’s not a bad thing, it’s something that has a purpose. Why does God discipline His children? Hebrews 12 answers this

Hebrews 12:10 CSB

10 For they disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but he does it for our benefit, so that we can share his holiness.

Parents, your goal for your child should be to be like Jesus Christ! This is what Jesus calls each of us to be in the Sermon on the Mount, be Holy as your heavenly Father is holy. How do kids learn what that looks like? Through an hour long Sunday school? Maybe. Through a sermon? Probably not. Through singing songs of praise? Possibly. John Piper notes this, “The greatest stumbling block for a child in worship is a parent who doesn’t.” If you want your child to worship Jesus and to be a faithful disciple, you have a role to play. If a child looks over and see’s that their dad isn’t worshipping, what message does that tell them? I don’t have to worship either. If a child is never taught the importance of prayer, reading their Bible, having a regular quiet time by their mom and dad, they can sit through a thousand sermons by the best preachers to ever grace the pulpit but it won’t do a lick of good. Parent’s don’t underestimate your influence when it comes to discipling your children. This is the highest calling we have as Christians and it requires our time and our focus.

Motivated Men Make Sacrifices

As we go throughout our lives and as we prioritize Jesus above all else, this will force us to make some sacrifices. Maybe it means that we can’t go to a certain activity, watch a certain movie, or go to a particular place. We must make sacrifices from time to time. The world views this as a bad thing, but the Bible speaks to these sacrifices as worthwhile and beneficial to us.

1 Corinthians 10:23 CSB

23 “Everything is permissible,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible,” but not everything builds up.

We are called to seek the good of others, not necessarily our own good. A couple of weeks ago I was involved in a wedding in Dallas and the several of the groomsmen were people that I had not met before the wedding. One individual was a youth / administration pastor of a church in the Dallas metro area and we got to talking about Jesus and church life. One thing that he said that resonated with me was that the great reformer Martin Luther talked about how marriage is the primary means that God sanctifies us and reminds us of how selfish we truly are. A Godly Christian marriage should help you to become more like Jesus, but dare I say that having kids helps you see quickly how selfish we truly are and long to be more like Jesus instead of yourself. It’s easy to be selfish. It’s easy to do whatever our flesh desires as Paul talks about in Romans 7. However, we are called to make sacrifices. We are called to not walk down the wide road but the narrow path. We are called to put our sin to death and follow Jesus Christ! How can we ever do this? By making sacrifices. Not by taking the easy way out but by following the Holy Spirit’s guidance in our life.

Think of some of the people who have sacrificed for you. My parents quickly come to my mind. Maybe you had a bad experience with your parents or in particular your father, if that is you, consider someone else who has made sacrifices for you to be where you’re at today. If you can’t think of anyone else, consider the sacrifice of our Heavenly Father. What did He sacrifice? In our text we are reminded that He sacrificed His one and only Son

John 3:16 CSB

16 For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

Why did He send Jesus? Because He had to? Because we’re so good and because we deserved it? No. Because He loved us. Father’s, as you love your children, you will make sacrifices for them. These won’t be easy, but they demonstrate the love of Jesus.

Motivated Men Produce Good Fruit

Just as it is not enough for Christians to simply make converts or people who make a 1 time decision but never do anything else with Jesus Christ, it also is not enough for us to be stagnant in our walk with Christ. We are to grow and produce fruit. What does it mean to produce fruit? It means to live as a new creation and make much of Jesus. To live for Him and allow the Spirit to work in you! What does this first require? It requires you to be a follower of Jesus Christ.

Matthew 7 talks about bearing fruit and Jesus says that

Matthew 7:17–19 CSB

17 In the same way, every good tree produces good fruit, but a bad tree produces bad fruit. 18 A good tree can’t produce bad fruit; neither can a bad tree produce good fruit. 19 Every tree that doesn’t produce good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

So we’re all producing fruit, but are we producing good fruit? There are some things the world says that father’s should do that are bad things. The world says that it’s ok to be an absent father as long as you’re there for some things. The world says that it’s ok to let your children do whatever they want to do, you have to let them live their truth and you can’t discipline them. Some in the world say that you’re no longer needed. What our world needs more and more of today than ever before are Christian parents, grandparents, friends, and leaders who bear fruit. One Christian leader said that many young people are leaving the church not because they don’t have faith in Jesus but because they are convinced that many who taught them about Jesus don’t truly believe. What does this mean? People will smell you out whenever you are not being authentic. Jesus Himself said that a bad tree cannot produce good fruit, but we all try really hard to make our trees look good!

Parents, Father’s especially, are you producing good fruit for your family to see? Not in a selfish, look at me, manner. But in a caring, discipling way?

Take the time to read your Bible with your family. Take the time to pray with your family. Take the time to go through discipleship material together, as a family. Take time to talk about Jesus every day. Why? Because it’s worth it… Because He is worth it and because He is calling you, Father, to be the spiritual leader of your household and to mold your children into arrows who will be used by God in battle as the Psalmist talks about in Psalm 127.

Conclusion

Maybe you’re with us this morning and you struggle with Father’s Day for a variety of reasons. Maybe you didn’t have a Godly Father or a Father at all. Maybe your father was a jerk and abused you. Maybe you are a husband who is no longer a father or wants to be a father. Maybe you’re a man who has no prospects of being a father any time soon. Understand that, as a Christian, you do have a Father. You belong to a family that you have been adopted into. You are a co-heir with Christ and you have a purpose today! Part of that purpose is to be disciplined by the Lord and as He molds you, you produce righteousness as Hebrews 12:11 shares with us. Are you producing fruit? Are you being led by the Spirit? If so, who are you leading? It’s not enough to sit on the sidelines, we are tasked with knowing Jesus and making Him known. The method that we do this is evangelism, sure, but primarily it is through discipleship that we help people grow in their walk with the Lord. Father’s, your responsibility is to do this in the home and to come to church ready to worship with a smile on your face.

As we close, I want to share 4 personal points of application for Father’s today:

Love Jesus Christ Above All Else

Obey Jesus Christ Above All Else

Reflect the Love of Jesus to Your Family

Push Your Family to Know Jesus in a Personal Way

Again, not everyone here is a Father and you might be questioning why you’re here because you feel like this message didn’t apply to you. Let me encourage you to see in Hebrews 12 that you and I are sinners. Jesus endured hostility, He endured the cross, so that we wouldn’t have to pay the punishment we deserved. Jesus suffered in our place. But He rose on the 3rd day. He conquered the grave and ascended back to heaven where He is preparing a place for His bride the church. Romans 8:1 promises us this

Romans 8:1 CSB

1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus,

Are you in Christ Jesus? If so, you can see how much God loves you. Even if you’ve been burned by your earthly father, your Heavenly Father gave up His Son so that you might in turn become a son or daughter of God. Trust in Jesus today and repent of your sin.