The Christian Home

Ephesians  •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented   •  24:56
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Welcome

Good morning everyone and welcome, to anyone listening or watching online we welcome you as well this morning! After a great Sunday outside last week and some time spent in scripture looking at how we see and hear God in creation, we are back to continuing on in our study of the book of Ephesians. Our passage this morning is Ephesians 5:21-6:9, a passage that if not handled correctly can lead to some serious issues. This is a passage of scripture that I bring up in every premarital counseling session that I do, because it is so important for married couples to have a proper and right understanding of this passage. This week then, before we read our passage, let’s pray together. Let us humble ourselves before God and ask that he would teach us through his word.

Prayer

Ephesians 5:21-6:4

Engage

As we begin this morning, I want to take a moment and ask all of us a question. If you could do one thing for God, what could you do that you think would bring the most amount of glory and honor to Christ? What is it that you could do? I think for many of us, myself included, our minds go to huge grand gestures. We think about leaving our lives as we know them and going into missions. Maybe its a calling to ministry that you feel and want to get more involved at church. Maybe it’s caring for people who don’t have a lot and helping those in poverty. All of these things are good, and all do honor God and show devotion to him. But sometimes when we think about what we can do to bring glory to God, we miss the area that is actually closest to us. The area that we can bring glory to God in right now, today. We can honor God in huge and profound ways without flying to another country or making a huge life change.

Tension

What area am I talking about? Our homes. We don’t have to travel far away to demonstrate the gospel, we can demonstrate the gospel and bring glory to God in how we live in our homes and how we have relationships with our family. Demonstrating the gospel within our homes is the best way to ensure that your kids hear the gospel and have opportunities to grow in their knowledge and understanding of the Bible. Why is it so important that within our families we are living out the gospel and talking about it? Because the family is where our time is spent. But, maybe you’re thinking, Noah, this is what we have you here for, don’t we have you, the church, Sunday school teachers, and VBS to teach kids about the gospel. And you are right, that is what we hope to do. However, if you look purely at how much time is spent at church or church activities compared to the time at home, you can see that the real time for growth and learning is within your family. It doesn’t matter if I delivered an amazing, spirit filled, edge of the seat sermon every week, it doesn’t matter if we have the most interactive, educational Sunday school. That is just two hours a week. If you go on vacation, if you’re sick and miss a Sunday, that becomes 2 hours in fourteen days. Can you begin to see how important it is to live out the gospel and demonstrate it within your own home? The way we model our home life, the way you treat your wife, your husband, your kids, grand kids, all of that can show the gospel. In our passage this morning, Paul lays out the structure of what a Christian home is meant to look like. This is scripture’s answer to how we can show the gospel at home with our families.

Ephesians 5:21-33

Ephesians 5:21–33 NIV
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
As you look at this passage, you can probably see why this section of scripture can create issues. The first verse begins by saying that all of us should submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. So as you go through the passage, remember that this command to submit is not just for wives, but Paul says that everyone should submit to one another because of Christ. As we hear and think about the word submit, we often think of it as a weakness. We think that if you submit to someone then you are somehow weak. In actuality though, no one can force you to submit to anyone or anything. However, scripture tells us to submit to one another as a way of putting others ahead of ourselves. All of us, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, are prone to selfishness. We are prone to do what we want, when we want. But this attitude of submission places the needs and wants of others ahead of your own. In the rest of the passage, Paul outlines several areas of life where there is meant to be submission. But, before he gets into that he begins by saying that this submission is mutual submission, everyone is expected to submit, to look towards the interests of the others first.
After opening with commanding everyone to submit to one another, Paul begins to talk about how this plays out specifically within the Christian home. And just as a quick side note, as we look at this passage, hopefully you can see why it is so important to be married to a believer in Jesus. In you are unequally yoked with a non-believer, it is going to make living out these principles immensely more difficult. They are difficult enough as they are, let alone trying to live them out with a spouse that doesn’t follow Jesus. Paul talks about the relationship between husbands and wives then in verses 22-33. Once again, before God tells wives to submit to their husbands, he tells both of them to be in submission to one another. This isn’t a contradiction, but is pointing out the role that husbands have within their family. As another point of interest, notice what the passage doesn’t say. No where does it say, “Husbands, ensure that your wife submits to you.” Husbands it is not your job to do this or force it. If you ever begin to throw this verse around and command submission, then I can almost guarantee that you are not following through with what God commands of you from this passage. Within the culture, this passage also would have stood out to the original audience. Most of the audience would have this idea that their wife was not that important. They would have viewed their wife as someone who produced children and if a wife did anything to upset the husband, it wasn’t difficult for him to divorce her. But what would have stood out to them is how Paul talks about the husband. If you consider the length of time Paul spends talking about the marriage relationship, you will notice that he spend much more time telling the men what they are called to do and be in their marriages.
In marriage the husband is meant to serve as the head of the family. Now, husbands, before you go shooting your wife a glance or begin to feel important, we have to talk about what that means. What does the headship in marriage call a husband to do or be? It means that they are servant leaders, just as Jesus was. Husbands must lead with the kind of love that is willing to die for their wife. Far to many men have taken memorized verse 22 but decided to ignore the rest of the passage. For some husbands, they read this and think that they can be some kind of dictator within the family and boss their wife around and tell her to do whatever they want. And I want to be extremely clear here, that is not at all what that verse means or what this passage is trying to teach. If a husband uses this verse to control his wife, make it so that she can’t do anything unless it is approved by the husband, if she can’t spend money without approval, if the wife can’t do this or that unless the husband approves it, then this verse is not being used or understood correctly. Yes, the man is to lead his wife and family, not from a position of authority, but from a position of love. The truth of this passage is that men, you can’t love your wife unless you are love and serve her from this position of a servant leader. You can’t love her like Jesus loved the church unless you are willing to humble yourself and give yourself for her good.
Another important aspect of this headship is that men have to recognize how they are called to lead their family spiritually. Husbands have this unique role that is meant for them to do everything that they can to see that their wife and children have every opportunity to become the people God saved them to be. He is meant to help them grow in Christ, to help them develop their spiritual gifts, and to ultimately point them to Jesus as their Savior.
Marriage is a profound institute that God has given to us to help demonstrate the love that he has for us. When marriage is handled in a God honoring way, when wives support and respect their husbands and when husbands love their wife as much as Christ loved the church, we see the recipe for a successful, God honoring marriage. Paul continues by addressing parents and children in verses 1-4 of chapter 6.

Ephesians 6:1-4

Ephesians 6:1–4 NIV
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Now, Paul speaks directly to the children within the family. Paul says that children are to obey their parents, but to do it in the Lord. Obeying your parents isn’t simply something you do for them, by listening and obeying what your parents say you are honoring God as well. By submitting to their parents, children are honoring God. However, within all of this talk of submission we have to be clear about something as well. Though we are called to submit to one another, wives to their husbands, and children to their parents, we must know that this doesn’t mean we submit in anything and everything. If a parent or spouse tells you to do something that goes against God, that is sin, you should not submit to that. But, hopefully if your parents are living out their calling from God and living as followers of Jesus, they should never place you in that position.
Finally, we get to the last command for fathers, this time though, specifically for what they are called to do for their children. First, fathers are not meant to do things that build up resentment and bitterness in their child. We are to live our lives in a way that creates respect, love, and admiration, rather than resentment and anger. Second, they are meant to do what we mentioned previously. Teach your children about who God is, read scripture with them, teach them to pray, show them what a life following Jesus looks like. While this is part of the responsibilities of the husband as the head, moms do this as well.
As I mentioned, this passage can be difficult for us to read and harder still to implement in our lives. But this is one huge, practical way, for how we bring glory to God and live as Christians. For all of us here this morning or listening online, the way you live your life at home matters. They way you treat your spouse, the way you treat your kids, all matter to God and to sharing the Gospel.
This week then, think about what you can do to bring glory to God within your family. Think about how the way you live your personal life within your family models the gospel not just to your family but to others. You don’t have to travel across the world to talk about the gospel or to show the love of Christ. For many of us, the first step that we have to take is model the gospel in our personal family life.

Prayer

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