A Charge to Christian Men

The place of men

Happy fathers day. I myself am not a father but I have one that I have greatly learned from over the course of my life.

Not only am I talking about my earthly father but our heavenly father has also taught me a lot and is continuing to teach me to this day. In fact I would say he is also teaching you.

My only question is, “are you listening?”

Before I go fully into a fathers day sermon, I do want to show that both men and women are created equal. No one is above the other. One is not favored more than the other in God’s eyes.

Men are equal with women in creation

Genesis 1:27 ESV

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

See also Ge 5:2

This is a simple truth. You take the image of God and he has bestowed it upon both you and I. We are made in God’s image. For some of us we fully understand this and it excites us. Others could care less.

When you know who God is and all of the communicable attributes that he shares with you, only then would you have an appreciation for being made in His image.

Especially when you learn that nothing else in creation is made in god’s image. Even the angles are not made in his image. Only us.

Angles wish they were us. That is where e fall in the order. Think about it. God created an entire planet for you and I too subdue and rule over. Honestly we are doing a pretty bad job as a whole of humanity but some of us take that privilege and do our best to carry it out.

Men are incomplete without women

Not only are we created in the image of God both men and women but ladies, this should make you nod your head in agreement.

Men are incomplete without women. Any man that disagrees is a fool! haha

But in all seriousness, as funny as some of us may find this, Scripturally it is true.

Genesis 2:18 ESV

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

See also Ge 2:21–25; 1 Co 11:11–12

Men, if you are single today and you think you are living your best life, let me assure you that you are indeed missing out.

Personally finding Heather and having been married for the past 8yrs has really helped my life immensely. She has helped me with things that if doing life by myself would have been a struggle.

Now she is not just a servant and to be but we are a team. I have a role and she has a role. This is what makes it so special.

Now if men struggle without women to help them, think about how society does when men are absent.

Absence of men in society seen as a curse

Isaiah 3:1–3 ESV

1 For behold, the Lord God of hosts is taking away from Jerusalem and from Judah support and supply, all support of bread, and all support of water; 2 the mighty man and the soldier, the judge and the prophet, the diviner and the elder, 3 the captain of fifty and the man of rank, the counselor and the skillful magician and the expert in charms.

See also La 5:14; Eze 17:11–14

But that is referring to the Old testament. How is this true today?

Since it is father’s day, lets chat a little bit about how fathers being absent in their child life can create issues for the entire family down the road.

With working with the youth over the years, I have learned the importance of fathers in the relationship of kids.

The more involved the father is with not only their kids but the family, the kids usually turn out well. Those who are absent have kids that struggle.

A lot of girls struggle when they get to junior high or high school because they are looking for approval in a male figure. If their father is absent, who do they turn towards? They turn towards the boy they have a crush on.

If looking for approval in who they are, they will rely on this boy. Because they want to be seen in a certain light, and honestly kids have raging hormones in high school, tis can lead to a path of destruction.

In the end, the girl will never find the approval and be taken advantage of all while thinking this is normal.

The same goes for boys. If their father is absent in their life, which means they are probably absent in the marriage as well, young boys will get a twisted understanding of what marriage is and that carries over into how they view girls and also how they treat girls.

A present father upholding the Godly principles in the home usually passes these onto their children. A absent father who does not certain his life around God passes on worldly habits and expectations to their children.

This is the curse of absent fathers.

As a father you want to be seen not as a curse but as a leader. That brings us to the role of men.

The role of men

As leaders in marriage and family life

Ephesians 5:22–24 ESV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

See also 1 Co 11:3; Col 3:18–21

Being the head (Eph. 5:23) carries two different meanings. Though commonly held as the director or controller today, in biblical times the center of one’s control was considered to be in the bowels of the person.

Head carried not so much the idea of control as it did primacy. The head was first, and as such received emphasis. Being first it was also the source for what was to follow. Thus, Paul’s interpretation of the garden experience of Adam and Eve states that man was the superior individual because he was created first (see 1 Timothy 2:13).

Jesus is referred to as the “firstfruits” of the church (see 1 Corinthians 15:20–24). Headship, understood as being the first, calls for those who come after to follow the example of the one who has gone before. Thus, as Jesus dwelt among us, died, resurrected, and ascended to the Father, He sets the way by which the church is to follow Him. Applying this understanding of headship to the marriage relationship would imply that the husband was to take the lead and by example, lead his wife along in the walk of life. The wife’s submission would be to follow him, not because he is the superior sex, but because he is the first.

Holmes, M. A. (1997). Ephesians: a Bible commentary in the Wesleyan tradition (p. 173). Indianapolis, IN: Wesleyan Publishing House.As leaders in Israelite society and worship

Ephesians: A Bible Commentary in the Wesleyan Tradition (2. Between Wives and Husbands 5:22–33)

Headship is also understood as administrative, or that which brings everything together in organization: … Christ is the head of the church, his body … (Eph. 5:23).

Paul referred to this in 4:16 where he states that the entire church is held together by the head (Christ) via ligaments into one body.

In that passage, headship suggests orchestration and direction. All that is diverse about the church is unified through the person of Jesus Christ. He is the unifying head that directs. To have a director assumes that there are those who are directed; otherwise we have anarchy. If an orchestra does not recognize the authority of its director, every musician will play what he or she wants. The result would be far from harmonic.

If the church is not willing to listen to Christ, our diversity will never become unity.In relation to Paul’s analogy of the church being many members yet one part (see Ephesians 4:7–13; Romans 12:4–5), marriage has also always been seen as the combination of two made into one (see Ephesians 5:31; Genesis 2:24).

As in the church, the marriage relationship requires a unifier to bring the man and the woman together. By Paul’s instruction, this unifier is the husband. If the wife is not willing to follow the directions of her husband, matrimony soon becomes pandemonium.

However, as we shall see in later consideration, this headship of the husband does not come automatically, but must be the result of the fulfillment of responsibilities by the husband himself.

Christ is head of the church by virtue of His being its Savior. His death has established Him over all (see Ephesians 1:19–23). Thus, as the church submits to Christ as the firstfruits to follow, and the head by which we are all brought together, so wives should be submissive to their husbands.

Now if wives are to submit to their husbands, men, you better step up and lead.

Leading goes beyond just your marriage as well. It also goes at the level of the church.

As leaders in the early church

1 Timothy 3:2 ESV

2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

See also Ac 6:2–6; 1 Ti 2:12 The role of teaching and exercising authority is here restricted to men. Interpretations vary as to whether Paul is reflecting cultural circumstance or establishing theological principle; 1 Ti 3:8

These requirements seem easy but they can be hard to live up to day in and day out. One must be in step with the Lord in order for these qualities to shine.

In all honesty, there is a lot of weight on men’s shoulders. Listen, I’m not saying the women have it easy. They have their own list of roles too fulfill.

But aside from taking led in the home, at church men should be stepping up. Honestly you are leading well at home, this will carry over to the church as well.

Some of us are not in this current place of leadership for you lack the quilties or characteristics.

The character requirements of men

First and for most is

To be prayerful and godly

1 Timothy 2:8 ESV

8 I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling;

See also Da 6:10–11; 1 Ti 4:7–8; 1 Ti 6:11–12

Jesus prayed often during his ministry. He made time for it. As men you must make time for prayer and pray often. You should be seeing the world through the lenses of the Gospel. This is a godly quality.

Men are

1 Co 16:13 While courage can be exercised by all, it is identified here as a specifically male characteristic.

See also Ac 4:13; Ac 27:21–25

Men must stand up for the God of the bible. Be courageous! We are heading into times where this is needed more than ever.

If you cannot stand up for God, then how can you stand up for your church, your marriage, your family, your kids?

When people attack my spouse, I stand up for her courageously. When people attack my church, I stand up for us courageously.

It is what we are called to do.

Men are

To be determined and decisive

Matthew 11:12 ESV

12 From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and the violent take it by force.

See also 1 Ch 12:38

Violence and Evil is very determined and decisive.

Men must be as well or else we will always be on the back foot.

When Heather and I pray over options for our life, we listen for what God wants and then go. We don’t look back. For we truly believe in what God’s plan is.

He is always faithful and true. He has never broke a promise. For these reasons if he says go, we go.

I make that decision and we follow God’s plan. Heather trusts me because of the fact that we make God a priority as the center of our marriage.

Men are

To be humble

1 Peter 5:5 ESV

5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

See also Nu 12:3; Da 10:12; Mt 11:29

Being humble can be a hard one. Sometimes loosing site of what God is using you for can lead to one boasting in what they think “they” did in God’s name.

I heard RC Sproul say that pastors that are doing the best and on top of their game in a church are often more than not going unnoticed. By leading well, it seems as though they are not there but rather in the background carrying out what God has for the church.

To understand this, that doing god’s will and not expecting a big round of applause from everyone will help to keep you humble.

Be blessed that God is using you for His kingdom. Do not ever let it get to your head.

Men are

To love their wives

Colossians 3:19 ESV

19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

See also Pr 5:15–19; Eph 5:25–33

Wives are like porcelain. They are strong but also very precious. You should show love to your wife. everyone is different. Only you know what shows your love for your wife.

We must also not be harsh. for remember, their desire is to rule over us and go against authority. It is what God said would happen. We covered this earlier today.

Instead encourage, give them a push when needed and a shoulder to cry on when needed.

Understand how God shows love and mercy when we mess up and extend it to your wives as well. After all, we are made in the image of God.

Men are

To be good fathers to their children

Ephesians 6:4 ESV

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Are kids not frustrating to raise sometimes?

Listen, I do not have any kids. One day. But until then I have had some difficult youth students over the years.

I get the most frustrated when I have a student who wants to be a leader and is on fire for thee Lord only to backslide and be the cause of disruption in the group.

it just ticks me off sometimes and in those moments I have two choices. Be harsh with them and completely turn them off from not only God but also church or come long side them and encourage them to be the student that God has called them to be.

The same for your kids. Parenting is not easy but image how God feels with us.

Some quick example sof people in the Bible that got raising their kids wrong.

See also Ge 37:3–4 Jacob’s favouritism was the cause of resentment developing in the family; 1 Sa 3:12–13 Eli is rebuked for having failed to father his sons properly; Col 3:21

lastly, men are

To exercise proper sexual restraint

I do not know if you realize it but sex is used in almost everything in our society. In ads, movies, tv shows, music, and so on.

God created sex as a gift and when used out side of his intended use, it can lead so many into sin.

For us men, we must learn how to exercise proper sexual restraint.

I learned this early on in ministry I was taught that when dealing with girls in the youth group to never meet one on one with them. Instead meet with them with other students present or meet with them with a female leader present.

To this day I continue to practice this. It is a blessing to have heather by my side as I honestly will have her meet with the ladies of our youth group when needed.

I am not the only one. I know Pastor Greg also does this when meeting ith ladies of the church.

it is smart to take temptation completely out of the picture. Do not ever say, eh, just this once will not hurt.

That is all the room that Satin needs in order to get in and start taking your eyes off of God.

1 Th 4:3–7 That Paul is particularly thinking of men here seems apparent from the NIV footnote at verse 4.

See also Le 18:1–22; Pr 6:23–29; Mt 5:27–28; 1 Co 5:1–2; 1 Co 7:2–5

Let’s end our time together with just a few examples of Godly men.

Examples of godly men

Ge 6:9 Noah; Ge 22:1–12 Abraham; Ex 32:30–32 Moses; 1 Sa 24:1–7 David; 2 Ki 18:1–7 Hezekiah; Job 1:1–8 Job; Da 6:10 Daniel; Ac 4:13–20 Peter and John; Ac 7:54–60 Stephen; Heb 11:4–28 OT heroes of faith; Jas 5:17–18 Elijah

Examples of godly men who had moments of failure

Ge 20:1–3 Abraham was deceitful; Nu 20:2–12 Moses and Aaron showed unbelief; 2 Sa 11:1–27 David committed adultery with Bathsheba and plotted Uriah’s death; 1 Ki 19:1–5 Elijah became fearful and wanted to die; Jon 1:1–3 Jonah ran from God’s call on his life; Mt 26:69–75 Peter denied Jesus Christ; Ac 16:36–40 Paul and Barnabas fell into sharp disagreement.

Examples of ungodly men

Ge 19:4–5 The ungodliness of the men of Sodom lay in sexual immorality; Ge 38:8–10 Onan’s ungodliness lay in failing to fulfil his obligations to his brother’s wife; Nu 16:1–35 Korah’s ungodliness lay in rebellion against God’s leaders; 1 Sa 2:12 Eli’s sons’ ungodliness lay in their abuse of the sacrifices; 1 Ki 16:29–33 Ahab’s ungodliness lay in intermarriage and idolatry; 2 Ki 21:1–9 Manasseh’s ungodliness lay in idolatry, divination and human sacrifice; Mt 2:16 Herod’s ungodliness lay in the wholesale slaughter of infants; Mt 14:3–11 Herod the tetrarch’s ungodliness lay in immorality and murder; Ac 8:9–23 Simon’s ungodliness lay in the practice of magic; Jud 4–19 The ungodliness of men in the church lay in their rejection of apostolic doctrine and lifestyle.

Examples of fearful men

Ge 26:7–9 Isaac’s fear of the Philistines led him to lie; Nu 13:26–33 The spies’ fear led them to give a bad report; 1 Sa 28:5–7 Saul’s fear of the Philistines led him to enquire of a medium when the Lord did not answer him; 2 Sa 3:7–11 Ish-Bosheth’s fear of his brother led him to stay silent concerning sin; Jn 19:4–16 Pilate’s fear of the crowd led him to condemn Jesus Christ, even though he knew he was innocent; Ac 24:24–25 Felix’ fear arose from the message of the gospel.

Examples of weak men

Le 26:36–39 Men who are disobedient to God will be weak; 1 Sa 3:12–13 Eli’s weakness lay in failing to restrain his sons; 1 Ki 21:1–16 Ahab’s weakness lay in his allowing his wife to rule his life and his kingdom.