Having the Right Daditude

Happy Father’s Day! Dads, we are thankful for you and excited that you are here with us on this very special day!

This morning we’re going to dive into a special message… JUST FOR YOU DADS… and this message is designed to challenge us but also encourage us in our journey as fathers… in our quest to raise and influence our children as we should.

As we should… those three words imply something. Those three words need to be taken to heart. As we should implies there is a right way… and a wrong way. As we should indicates to us today that we have a way in which WE SHOULD GO as dads… a way that was in place long before any of us became fathers. We are going to look at that way in a moment.

Our message title is Having the Right Daditude! And yes… for all the grammar police out there I know that daditude is not a real word but for the sake of this message… it is!

What is daditude? What does this word mean? Daditude is the dad-attitude.

Now watch this: attitude defined is a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior.

So with this in mind, we conclude today that daditude is a settled way of thinking or feeling about being a dad that is reflected in the father’s behavior.

When it comes to being a dad guys… there are some things we need to have RESOLVED in our minds regarding how we are going to think, feel, and act.

Some of the givens include taking a hold of every opportunity to slip in a good dad joke.

Singing in the shower is fun… until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

I don’t trust stairs… they’re always up to something!

You know… people say they pick their nose… but i feel like I was just born with mine.

I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

I used to play piano by ear… now I use my hands!

Be alert and ready to fix any random or miscellaneous broken object.

Screwdrivers and pliers can get a lot done! Never forget to have WD-40 stashed in at least three different locations and when in doubt, take your phone out of that handy dandy pouch and ask Siri for help!

Moving back into the serious for a moment… dads… we have a lot on our plate. We have many things to toggle and to balance. And while we are working hard to make sure things are getting done… let’s not forget about the most important blessings God has given us… the blessings that make us dad in the first place.

It is no secret that fatherhood is being attacked. In fact, we are reaching an unprecedented and devastating reality in our culture regarding dads in the home.

18.3 million children (that’s one in four) live without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home. Consequently, there is a “father factor” in nearly all of the societal ills facing America today. Research shows when a child is raised in a father-absent home, he or she is affected in the following ways:

They are 4 time greater risk of poverty

More likely to have behavioral problems

Two times greater risk of infant mortality

More likely to go to prison

More likely to commit a crime

7 times more likely to become pregnant as a teen

More likely to face abuse and neglect.

More likely to abuse drugs and alcohol

Twice as likely to suffer from obesity

Twice as likely to drop out of high school.

And take note of this: this study was done by a secular group that is working to end father absence. They see this problem underlying many of society’s most pressing challenges - the problem of a lack of father involvement in their children’s lives.

Dads, listen carefully to me: If the secular world is picking up on this as a problem then we had better pay close attention! Dads play a VITAL role in the home. Take that away and yes… you are going to have problems.

We know this world is moving away from the truth or pattern of God’s Word. However, there are some things that simply cannot be ignored or refuted. The world is beginning to understand just how important it is for dad to be present! Scripture has told us this all along… but as this issue becomes more prominent… there is no way for the world to deny the truth. God gave us fathers for a purpose and guys… we need to make sure we are living as purposeful dads. WE NEED TO MAKE SURE WE HAVE THE RIGHT DADITUDE.

So where do we find this right daditude?

Here’s the deal: Knowing how vital fathers are is one thing; knowing how to be a good one is another. Our resolve to not only be a present dad but also a good dad must lead us to this conclusion: WE NEED THE HELP OF OUR HEAVENLY FATHER.

Now I am not going to stand up here today and give parenting advice. I’m not going to tell you what you should do when junior decides to do _______________________ but what I am going to do is give some fundamental instruction on what the Bible says we are supposed to do as dads. And we are going to start in a place you might not expect.

Love your wife as Christ Loves His Church

I LOVE being a dad… but before I became a father, God blessed me with a wife who became the mother to my children. Quick survey… and it doesn’t matter how young or old your children are today… Guys, how many desire to not only be a good dad but to be godly dad? I that is your desire… then we need to start by expressing a biblical love toward the one that helped us become a dad.

Ephesians 5 is where we are going to start today. And this portion of Scripture is found in a section that has the header “Instructions for Christian Households.” We pick it up in verse 25. “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Guys… it starts right here and we are given a charge that is like no other. Husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

First, how far was Jesus willing to go for the church? What did His love for the church compel Him to do? Jesus loved the church so much that He gave His life for it… He gave all that He had for the church. He laid Himself down for the sake of the church.

Jesus went the distance. He gave all that was required because of His LOVE for the church. This is a sacrificial love like no other. And this is the kind of love husbands are to express to their wives.

Having the right daditude starts with how we show, live and express our love for the one that made us a dad in the first place. Mark my words: YOUR KIDS ARE WATCHING. They are paying attention to how you operate in your home and how you treat your wife.

The love we are to express to our wives is a Christ-like love - sacrificial and steadfast.

Let’s not allow the secular world through its television shows, movies, and media educate our kids on how a household should operate. Instead, let’s allow the love of Christ to flow in us and through us as we desire for Jesus to be the center and foundation of our homes.

Being a godly dad starts by adhering to the biblical instruction on how we are to treat our wives. Give them the love and respect that they deserve. Allow for God’s Word to be THE WORD that your household functions and grows upon.

As this Christ-like love is extended toward our spouse, that same love and compassion needs to be extended toward our children.

And I get it… it’s Father’s Day. All this talk of love and compassion… shouldn’t we be talking about tools and muscles and cars and more bad jokes and… you know… GUY STUFF!

This is the GREATEST guy stuff we could possibly talk about today!

The problem I presented in the introduction spoke of the absent dad or the missing father. But hear me out… a “dad” can be in the home but his love still absent. A husband can come home every night but still be absent.

In order to be a godly dad, we must be INTENTIONAL with the time we have with our families.

Be an expression of Jesus’ love by loving your wife as Christ loved the church.

Give unselfishly for your family for the betterment of your family.

Lead Your children in the way they should go.

We see this instruction in Proverbs 22:6 Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

But moving back to Ephesians we see this same sort of emphasis in chapter 6. Ephesians 6:4 gives some dos and don’ts regarding what it looks like to lead our children in this way. It reads, “4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

We see a similar charge in Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

So let’s look at the “don’ts” side of this charge first. What does it mean to embitter? What does it mean to exasperate your children?

To be embittered is to be angry or resentful at having been treated unfairly.

Now, I want to be cautious here: How many have ever had your child respond to discipline with the statement, “that’s not fair?” I’m sure most of us have!

There are some things we need to guard against to make sure we treat our children fairly. However, sometimes our kids will need time to process or further explanation regarding the why behind the discipline. But ultimately, we need to make sure we treat our children fairly.

Next, to be exasperated is to be intensely irritated and frustrated.

Again, my kids have been irritated and frustrated with different things at different times. Is this what Scripture is talking about? No… both passages go deeper than that.

In both instances, what is being called out are the intentions of the Father. WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO DO? What is the motivation behind what you are doing to or for your kids in the moment?

I love to play and to mes around with my kids. But I NEVER want to intentionally upset them or treat them unfairly. My hope is they will forever know that dad loves them.

To embitter of to exasperate is to push a person in a negative way that typically results in a negative outcome. Guys, Scripture makes clear today THIS IS NOT THE WAY A FATHER SHOULD LEAD.

Instead, we are to lead our children by training them and instructing them in the ways of the Lord. This is the RIGHT daditude.

There are a lot of things I hope to pass on to my kids. I have several goals, several things I hope to do for my kids.

I hope as a father that I prepare them for the things they might face in this life. I hope I teach them to be responsible, to be a person of integrity, to be a hard worker, and to always finish strong. I hope to teach them to treat people the way the want to be treated, to show respect and to contribute not just consume.

But the most important thing I hope to give my kids is a solid foundation in Jesus Christ. The most important thing I hope to pass on is a life that is lived for the Lord, FIRST.

I pray my kids fall in love with Jesus as I have. I pray they look up to their heavenly Father every day. I pray they fall in love with His church, with His mission, with His Word and with His way. I pray they will forever be mindful of the things of God and not so concerned with the things of this world.

And one day, when they have families of their own, I pray they will place God first in their homes and households.

Dads, if this is your desire today… you cannot leave this to chance. You merely hope this will happen. Scripture says to lead. Scripture says to train. Scripture says to instruct. Indifference and passivity is NOT a part of the right daditude. WE MUST BE INTENTIONAL WITH THIS.

And Guys, I get it… we’ve got a lot on our plate. The world seems to be getting busier as each day goes by. There are a lot of important things calling for your attention BUT NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE CHILDREN GOD HAS BLESSED YOU WITH.

GIVE THEM THE WORD. Give it to them through telling. Give it to them by living. Give it to them by attending - attending church. MAKE IT A PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE AND THEY WILL MAKE IT A PRIORITY IN THEIRS!

Keep the Faith

And as we close, there is one last point I want to make today. As I was studying the topic of daditude and moving through the Bible God showed me something that I want to show you.

There are many dads in the Bible. There are stories of a lot of guys who did extraordinary things in Scripture. And as I read about these guys there was a common tie that each of them shared. That tie was faith. FAITH IN THEIR HEAVENLY FATHER.

These guys faced some pretty unbelievable challenges. They faced some pretty incredible circumstances. But they overcame said circumstances because of their faith in God.

A godly daditude requires unwavering faith in God.

We do not know what is coming around the corner. We do not know what this world might throw at us next. What we do know is that no matter what, GOD WILL SEE US THROUGH.

As we aim to love our wives, to lead our families, we must aim to keep the faith. We must aim to make this decision: who will your household serve?

Joshua 24 throws out a charge. This passage basically says “make up your mind and stick with it.” Israel was struggling in their faith. And in this charge they were encouraged to Joshua 24:14 “fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD.”

Here’s the deal: guys we need to “throw away” what ever might exist that is keeping us from having the right daditude. We need to throw out whatever is distracting us in our walk with the Lord.

First - we cannot have the right daditude without first having a relationship with the Lord. This is VITAL to being the man God has called you to be.

So we have to make a decision guys… who is it that we are willing to serve? Are you willing to choose for yourself who you are willing to serve? As Joshua proclaimed “As for me AND MY HOUSEHOLD, we will serve the Lord!” Are you willing to make that declaration? Then it starts with YOU.

Where is your relationship with God, guys? How is your walk with God? Are things going well or do you see room for improvement? Today, if you would like to commit your life to God or recommit in some areas, I want you to stand.

Secondly - Are you willing to lead your family in the ways and instruction of the Lord? If yes, I want to pray a commissioning prayer over you. Together, we are believing God for our families. Together, we ask God to give us the right daditude.