What Makes a Good Father

What makes a good father?

Being a good father is more than just bringing home a paycheck and meeting the physical needs of your children. It’s not enough to just be a good father according to the world’s standards; fathers need to be the spiritual leaders in their homes.

Let’s take a look this morning at what makes a good father.

I. A good father is an example of what means to be a man of faith.

Psalm 22:4–5 NKJV

4 Our fathers trusted in You; They trusted, and You delivered them. 5 They cried to You, and were delivered; They trusted in You, and were not ashamed.

From one generation to another, we pass on the faith, we are to point to Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 16:13 NKJV

13 Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.

We need men who have both a knowledge of God’s Word and the conviction to follow that Word: Men of faith who aren’t afraid to live their faith before the world and in their homes consistently 24/7.

1 Kings 22:42–43 NKJV

42 Jehoshaphat was thirty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned twenty-five years in Jerusalem. His mother’s name was Azubah the daughter of Shilhi. 43 And he walked in all the ways of his father Asa. He did not turn aside from them, doing what was right in the eyes of the Lord. Nevertheless the high places were not taken away, for the people offered sacrifices and burned incense on the high places.

A pastor tells the story that he was out on the sidewalk welcoming people as they got out of their cars. About 3rd in line was a father & his teenage son. The father had a golf shirt on, and he evidently was dropping his son off at church while he went to play golf. The pastor could hear the teenage boy complaining and asking why he had to go to church. He replied, “When I was growing up my daddy took me to church every Sunday, and you are going to church as well.” Then the boy replied, “Well, it doesn’t look like it did you any good for you, did it?”

Research has established that parents can have a significant impact on the religious beliefs and practices of their children.

In one recent study it was found that fathers who frequently attend church (over three times per month), discuss religion at home, and are committed to their religion have sons who follow the same pattern concerning religious values and behavior.

Interestingly, fathers who did not do these three things had an inconsistent pattern of influence over their son’s religious responses. - Dr. Michael Green, Kindred Spirit, Autumn, 1989

II. A good father exhibits purity and holiness

1 Timothy 2:8 NKJV

8 I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting;

God wants us to be pure in everything we think, say, see and do. God is looking for a few good men who aren't afraid to strive to live holy lives.

Malachi 4:5–6 NKJV

5 Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet Before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. 6 And he will turn The hearts of the fathers to the children, And the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”

Someone has said:

When the Father is right the Children will be right

When the children are right the home will be right

When the home is right the nation will be right.

Proverbs 20:7 NKJV

7 The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him.

The greatest need in the world is for holy men who will not be bought or sold, who recognize sin for what it is and refuse to be entangled by its tentacles: men who will stand for the right when others do not.

III. A good father establishes boundaries

Proverbs 22:8 NKJV

8 He who sows iniquity will reap sorrow, And the rod of his anger will fail.

Many boys and girls grow up and never see their mom and dad set out a boundary line for their actions.

Proverbs 29:15 NKJV

15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

The findings of an interesting study done on school children by “Focus on the Family” reveals that a group of educators decided to remove the chain-link fences from around the school playgrounds. They believed the fences promoted feelings of confinement and restraint.

The curious thing they noticed, however, that as soon as the fences were removed, the children huddled in the center of the playground to play. Conclusion: Children need boundaries. (Dr. James Dobson).

Every parent who loves their children establishes rules. We need to teach our children that there are BOUNDARIES … rules & regulations.

Ephesians 6:4 NKJV

4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

When a father establishes boundaries his child’s character is strengthened. Our children need to know there is a difference between what the world says is okay and what God says is okay. They need to know that there is an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, unchanging God who has given us a standard of conduct to live by—the Bible and that keeping God’s commandments and standards invites God’s blessings and violating them invites His discipline.

We need to learn as parents how to say no; to say to our children you can’t have everything that you what or go wherever you want.

Proverbs 22:6 NKJV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Good adults aren’t born. They’re made.

IV. A good father educates his children in the way of the Lord

Psalm 34:11 NKJV

11 Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

We need fathers who will teach their children to love and fear the Lord.

Psalm 78:1–4 NKJV

1 Give ear, O my people, to my law; Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. 2 I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, 3 Which we have heard and known, And our fathers have told us. 4 We will not hide them from their children, Telling to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, And His strength and His wonderful works that He has done.

1 Corinthians 4:15–17 NKJV

15 For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers; for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. 16 Therefore I urge you, imitate me. 17 For this reason I have sent Timothy to you, who is my beloved and faithful son in the Lord, who will remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach everywhere in every church.

Our teaching must never be “Do as I say not as I do”: It should be “Follow my example.” Our teaching must be correct, continual, and consistent.

The old saying that actions speak louder than words is so true when it comes to teaching our children. The example we live has much more influence on them than anything we could ever say. Children learn by what they see their parents doing.

The wife of a prominent lawyer who had been under deep conviction for several days gave the following account of her conversation at a prayer meeting. "Last evening my little girl came to me and said, `Mamma, are you a Christian?' `No, Fannie, I am not.' She turned and went away, and as she walked off I heard her say, `Well, if Mamma isn't a Christian, I don't want to be one.' And I tell you it went right to my heart, and I then gave myself to Christ."—Sunday School Times.