Fathers Day
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Father & Husband
Father & Husband
The role of father is intimately linked with that of husband.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
And that is where children come from.
We live in a fallen world,
Part of that fall has been the separation of the roles of father and husband.
The role of “head of the household”.
Society has pushed to separate the two roles,
And to claim not only that being a man is not only necessary to being a father, and a husband.
But that fathers and husbands are unnecessary.
We have fathers who are not the husband of their children’s mother.
We have husbands who are not fathers to their children.
And while we watched the family being torn apart, we wondered why our children have been having so many problems.
Does that mean a man who is not a husband cannot be a good father?
No, but it does mean it will be harder to be a good father.
We, as followers of Christ, must recognize that we will never attain the perfect,
But we should strive for it.
And when we make mistakes, because we will, we should look at our lives and see what we can do to head back towards that perfect life.
Part of the fall means we live under a curse.
Part of that curse means difficulty in life,
And part of that curse means difficult situations.
But we need to separate what God has said through Scripture from the caricature that the world has made of what He’s said.
To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”
Part of that curse is not simply that women have painful childbirths, but that they are ruled by their husbands.
This is often used a proof that God a misogynist.
After all, He as made women subjects of men.
But I have noted in Scripture that to rule, or to have dominion over, is less about power and more about responsibility.
For example, look at the Provers 31 wife:
Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
The worth of a virtuous wife is far above rubies.
Her husband can trust her.
She does him good and not evil.
Does this sound like a second class person?
Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
She is strong and honorable.
She is wise and kind.
This does not sound like a woman being ruled by a tyrannical husband, does it.
What about the New Testament?
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
I have had many people claim that this verse is proof that Christianity is misogynistic.
However, those same people have rarely read the rest of the story.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
What did Christ do to give Himself for the church?
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
What we see here is not a husband as a tyrant, but as a lover.
The Greek word translated here as “love” is agapate, to love dearly.
We are not told to lord over our wives, but to love them as we love ourselves.
To give ourself to her,
In the same way, fathers are told to deal with their children:
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Sure, there are times when, as children, we saw the acts of our fathers as provocations,
But we are told not to provoke our children, but the train them.
If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
There is a responsibility of a father,
To chasten, not to provocation, but to train.
And just as a father is expected to love his wife, he is to Agape love his children as well.
A Father’s Love
A Father’s Love
I want to return to
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
I heard a story about a couple of men who had taken their boys out for a hike.
They came to a questionable part of the trail, so one father told them to wait while he checked it out.
The path gave way and the man fell to his death.
Some time later the son wrote a letter.
He noted that the death of his father had a large impact,
His grandparents lost their son.
His mom lost he husband.
The other man with them lost his friend.
But he had lost his dad.
And he recognized that his dad didn’t die in a senseless accident,
He died protecting him.
That fathers love meant he was willing to risk his life to protect his son.
He gave his life for his son.
We’ve seen characters in the movies,
When danger arrives, the man seeks shelter behind his wife.
Who will not stand up to protect his family.
And we see that character as cowardly and less than a man.
I’m sure most of us men here would like to think that, if danger walked through that door, we would stand up, we would take the bullet to protect our families.
That we would give our lives for our family.
But that’s the easy thing to do.
Giving your life for someone is not just being willing to die to protect them.
It is much harder than that.
The hard thing is the day in, day out, grind of living for someone else.
Giving ourselves for someone else.
Going to work to provide for our families.
Taking extra hours to pay for that special something.
Taking time for recitals, ball games, or just some time together.
Loving our family with agape love.
Giving of ourselves, for them.
What is a Father
What is a Father
Being a father is not merely being a procreator.
Animals procreate.
A father is to be something special.
He is a provider.
In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread Till you return to the ground, For out of it you were taken; For dust you are, And to dust you shall return.”
But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
He is a protector.
He loves his wife as himself.
Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly.
He puts the needs of his family before his own.
After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded.
I’ve heard many people talk about how we view God as a father.
But I think it is less that we see God as a father figure to help us understand Him.
I think we, as being created in the image of God, are trying to emulate Him.
Imperfectly, incompletely, but hopefully honestly, trying to show our families God through our attempt to emulate Him.
Fallen man will never be the perfect father,
But with our Father in heaven as our guide, he can navigate a course closer and closer to that perfect fatherhood.