A High View of Marriage, Part 3

Introduction

Nothing can be rightly known, if God be not known; nor is any study well managed, nor to any great purpose, if God is not studied. We know little of the creature, till we know it as it stands related to the Creator: single letters, and syllables uncomposed, are no better than nonsense. He who overlooks Him who is the “Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending,” and sees not Him in all who is the All of all, doth see nothing at all. The Reformed Pastor, Chapter 1, Section 1. Richard Baxter

Purpose. Why do we spend so much of our life concerned about purpose?

What is the purpose of this tool or that tool?

What is the purpose of this program, this ministry, that invention, the company or business?

What is the purpose of that law or rule?

What is the purpose of life?

Everything in our life revolves around purpose. It defines, explains, and determines value.

When something has a high purpose; when it is established by one of high authority, the value of the thing takes on a depth and degree that elevates it.

This is even more true as we consider the purpose of marriage. A purpose that cannot be separated from our understanding of God.

Which is why the very first purpose, the highest purpose we considered last week, of marriage began with a look at marriage pointing us to God, to the gospel.

We cannot rightly understand the purpose of marriage without understanding God.

The same is true today as we consider two more purposes of marriage

To make us Holy - To make us more like Christ

Companionship - to reflect the Trinity in community.

Before we get there though, a quick review.

Outline

Big Idea: The Church needs to reclaim and defend a high view of marriage.

Hebrews 13:4

“Let marriage be hold in honor among all…”

Why? Why should it be held in high honor? Why shouldn’t it be considered antiquated as the majority of the world now sees it?

In order to reclaim a high view of marriage we need to answer 2 questions.

What is marriage?

The Living Book begins and ends with marriage - Genesis 2:24 and Revelation 22:20

Marriage is good! Genesis 1:31 and 1 Timothy 4:1-5

Marriage is prioritized in the 10 commandments - Exodus 20:14

An Institution of God’s Created Order

Two Part Sexuality

What is the purpose of marriage?

To Point to God - John 1:18; 1 John 4:12; Ephesians 5:22-33; Isaiah 62:5

To Make us Holy - 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8; 1 Peter 1:14-16

Companionship and Help - Genesis 2:18

In answering these questions, we will discovered WHY the church needs to FIGHT to reclaim and defend a high view of marriage.

Sermon Body

REVIEW:

Big Idea: The Church needs to reclaim and defend a high view of marriage.

Hebrews 13:4

“Let marriage be hold in honor among all…”

Why? Why should it be held in high honor? Why shouldn’t it be considered antiquated as the majority of the world now sees it?

In order to reclaim a high view of marriage we need to answer 2 questions.

What is marriage?

The Living Book begins and ends with marriage - Genesis 2:24 and Revelation 22:20

Marriage is good! Genesis 1:31 and 1 Timothy 4:1-5

Marriage is prioritized in the 10 commandments - Exodus 20:14

An Institution of God’s Created Order

Two Part Sexuality

What is the purpose of marriage?

Let me return to Christopher Ash’s definition and summary for a moment...

The Biblical view of marriage is a God-given, voluntary, sexual, and public union of one man and one woman, from different families for the purpose of serving God.

He summaries his view of marriage by saying....

Marriage was first instituted by God in the order of creation, given by God as an unchangeable foundation for human life. Marriage exists so that through it humanity can serve God through children, through faithful intimacy, and through properly ordered sexual relationships. This union is patterned upon the union of God with his people who are his bride, Christ with his Church. Within marriage, husbands are to exercise a role of self-sacrificial headship and wives a posture of godly submission to their husbands. This institution points us to our hope of Christ returning to claim his bride, making marriage a living picture of the gospel of grace.

To Point to God - John 1:18; 1 John 4:12; Isaiah 62:5; Ephesians 5:22-33

To Make us Holy - 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8; 1 Peter 1:14-16

Again, we need to pan out for a moment.

Marriage needs to be seen in its larger picture of our overall and greater purpose of life.

We considered this already in context of marriage as a picture of the gospel.

But even here, it is true and we need to consider it.

Marriage cannot be removed from the greater context of God’s will upon our lives.

Here in 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 we see an explicit statement of what God’s will is for us.

Our sanctification.

That we would walk in holiness and righteousness.

That we would walk worthy and please our God.

Notice what he does not say....It is not God’s will that we be HAPPY....THOUGH a holy marriage, a righteous marriage WILL be a happy marriage. Holiness leads to happiness but happiness is NOT the primary goal/objective. Holiness is.

We live in a world that is driven by emotion, by a desire to be HAPPY, to feel good. When we speak of happiness, I believe it is most often referring to a happy feeling based on good circumstances that we enjoy.

Which, by the way we do often differentiate from Joy which is a contented delight that transcends our circumstances and remains despite negative circumstance because it is rooted in the unchanging person of God.

Happiness, I think, as the world refers to it, as we tend to think of it is limited to our feelings, our pleasures and delights which are based on our circumstances, which we have little to no control over.

In this way, happiness is not Gods primary concern; our “feeling good” has never been God’s primary goal. At least not in the way we tend to pursue it or in the way our world tells us to.

This does not mean that God is callous and unconcerned about our emotional well being but God knows that the key to our emotional wellbeing is not rooted in our circumstances. It is rooted in Him.

Therefore, our happiness is ultimately found in HIM, in God alone.

Happiness and even Joy ARE FRUIT of being filled with and walking in the Spirit. They are NOT the object themselves that we are to pursue, they are the fruit of the object, which is Christ.

And if we are to know and enjoy Christ to the fullest, we must pursue holiness.

Why is holiness the will of God? Because God is holy and we must be like he is if we are to enjoy fellowship - 1 Peter 1:14-16

We are to be holy BECAUSE He is holy.

Holiness, not happiness is God’s goal for our lives.

BUT when we are holy, we will also be happy. Happiness and Joy are byproducts.

In all of the references where we are explicitly told what “God’s will” is for you, none of them refer to happiness as the primary object or goal. Here are a few where the will of God is explicitly stated.

1 Th 5:18 - Giving thanks in all circumstances is God’s will for you

1 Pt 2:13-17 - It is the will of God that our righteous conduct would bring glory to the name of God.

1 Th 4:3 - Our sanctification/holiness is his will.

Many other passages may not use such precise language but speak to what God’s will is. None of them make our happiness or contentment as the highest and greatest good/purpose.

Thus....Gary Thomas in his book Sacred Marriage, provides a subtitle that reads, “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”

Gary Thomas in his book, Sacred Marriage says....

“What if God didn’t design marriage to be ‘easier’? What if God had an end in mind that went beyond our happiness, our comfort, and our desire to be infatuated and happy, as if the world were a perfect place? What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”

His contention in the book, on marriage, is that the goal of any good marriage is holiness. Therefore the theme of his book is holiness and marriage is merely the context.

He will spend the entirety of his book explaining and detailing how this looks in all its various applications.

What if we all had that perspective in our marriages?

Franky, in all of our relationships.

Here is how this applies to singles and others.

Marriage, at its core is the deepest of all spiritual friendships.

It is in the context of spiritual friendship that holiness and growth take place.

Allow me for a moment, to glance away from the marriage institution for a moment and address friendship and relationship in general.

I do this PRIMARILY because the healthiest and strongest marriages are built on friendship, and biblical friendship even more so, more than attraction, compatibility, partnership, etc.

In society today, we have gotten things backward. Marriage and relationships are more about sexual appeal, attraction, and mutual interests than it is about TRUE friendship.

And again, while attraction is not wrong and is most certainly present and a very real component in relationships, it should not be the PRIMARY issue when considering a life long marriage relationship.

I do believe that all healthy and sound marriages as built on solid foundations (after love for God, that is a given) on a biblical and spiritual friendship.

Keller in The Meaning of Marriage points out that a biblically sound friendship is based on constancy, transparency and candor, and common passion.

Constancy (Marriage and Permanence) - Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves at all times

A counterfeit friend will not stick around in trouble or difficulty.

A faithful and true friend will be there in the midst of the storm.

Transparency and Candor - Proverbs 27:5-6 - Faith are the wounds of a friend

“Like a surgeon, friends cut you in order to heal you.”

Tim Keller - The Meaning of Marriage

Common Passion

What he means is this…friendship cannot merely be about itself. True friendship is “...depicted as two people standing side by side and looking at the same object and being entranced by it together.”

True biblical friendship, spiritual friendship is about being passionate for God and passionate for each other as a result.

Ephesians 5:15-21

Colossians 3:12-17

Look how this worked out for the early church - Acts 2:42-47

Theres was a common passion for God. This is what united them. It is what unites us.

It is the foundation of any enduring marriage.

In truly biblical and spiritual friendship, there is an unconditional love for one another. There is a transparency and candor, even invitation for such into ones lives. But because of the unconditional love, there is never fear of judgement and condemnation.

1 John 4:18

Fear has to do with judgment. With unconditional love (Constancy) there is never any reason to fear even if candor and rebuke must come, it is coming from love and desire to benefit the other.

Frankly, in such relationships, there is a verbal and understood INVITATION to be that voice of candor and there is a commitment to transparency with each other in order to better foster those levels of friendship.

And all of that is driven by the shared passion in the person of Christ; in our Abba, Father.

When you then add the even deeper intimacy of marriage oneness on top of that....the potential, the joy, the strength, and the wonder of marriage becomes even greater.

For a moment, look back at the passage in Genesis 2:18.

When God instituted marriage in the first place, what was the stated purpose for why?

A HELPER. We will address this as the third purpose for marriage in a few moments, but let me point out here what is missing....It is not good for man to be alone, let me give him a friend, a sexual companion, an intimate friend. NO, that is not what is says.

Sure, all those things are true and our marriages are intended to be intimate, personal, and a tangible expression of the Trinity and the fellowship of community that God perpetually exists in (along with the relationships within the church body which is also intended to represent this).

BUT THAT IS NOT THE STATED MAIN PURPOSE.

It was not good for us to be alone because we needed a helper.

The work of the garden, the work of lordship over creation was too much for man alone. And man was not created with the full capability to exercise this work alone. God intended for woman to compliment and complete man and together, they make up the total composite picture of wholeness and oneness and thus represent Christ.

Point is, God intended man to have a helper from the very onsite of designing and creating man.

Women, you are the fulfillment of that design.

And while it is true that there is great fulfillment, intimacy, and passion within marriage, it is important to note that it was not the primary reason that God created it.

But it surely is the MAIN reason we prioritize and engage in marriage today.

So, where do we see this in the marriage relationship?

Ephesians 5:25 -28

The key to note is found the WHY husbands are to love their wives.

Why....Ephesians 5:26 - That (literally so that) he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, SO THAT (there it is again) he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

This is how Christ loved the church.

Men, this is how we are to love our wives…with the same goal and intent.

Our wives spiritual purity and holiness IS OUR HIGHEST AND GREATEST objective in our marital relationships as we engage in them on this side of glory. THIS IS SO precisely because of our HIGHEST and GREATEST objective of glorifying God in all we do.

This is seen in how we devote ourselves to the sanctification and growth of those around us, especially as it pertains to our wives and marriages.

And although this is spoke of in terms of husband to wife, I believe that it goes both ways. The primary goal is our marriages is to help one another grow in spiritual maturity and holiness.

What marriage will do is hold up a mirror to us and expose for us the areas of sin, pride, selfishness, and unholiness that remains in us.

Kathleen Hart - When counseling another was told this by the one she counseled....

“Sometimes what is hard to take in the first years of marriage is not what we find out about our partner, but what we find out about ourselves. As one young woman who had been married about a year said, ‘I always thought of my self as a patient and forgiving person. Then I began to wonder if that was just because I had never before gotten close to anyone. In marriage, when John and I began…dealing with our differences, I saw how small and unforgiving I could be. I discovered a hardness in me I had never experienced before.’”

In marriage (and families), we are on constant surveillance and under keen observation. No one sees our flaws and weakness as much as our spouse or children. In these close and intimate relationships are the opportunity to be confronted with our areas of needed growth. If we are but courageous enough to be open to the rebuke and correction.

Truth is, we all have stories about how our sinfulness, pride, selfishness, and sin was exposed in our relationships/marriages.

The question is, DO WE VALUE THIS SANCTIFYING, EXPOSING ASPECT OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS ENOUGH TO PRIORITIZE AND EVEN INVITE IT INTO OUR LIVES?

Thomas asks two questions in his book that I found very convicting. Your answer would be very insightful.

He asked....

“Is your desire to be accepted by your spouse stronger than your desire to become more like Christ?

Do you value words of affirmation over and above words of inspiration?

So often, what I see and hear happening in marriages, a desire for the love and acceptance, affirmation from the spouse becomes the all consuming thing.

Now understand this, certainly and most definitely, it should be present in a healthy relationship. And it most certainly is NOT wrong to desire the affirmation and acceptance of your spouse.

BUT if we elevate that desire to the highest place, it becomes disproportionate, it becomes the idol, the god.

If we value that MORE than what God values in the relationship, we err.

God’s goal and purpose is to display the gospel, it is make us holy, and God intends to even use our brokenness to do that.

When we are functioning well, he will even us that affirmation and acceptance we desire to accomplish that.

But God can just as much use the brokenness to accomplish these purposes.

We need to see his hand in both.

And not value one over the other.

But see them both as a means to accomplish the PRIMARY goals that God desires.

Let me say this…carefully...

Where do we land with “Verbal abuse?”

It certainly does exist, in varying degrees.

Problem is, it is very subjective.

And no one size fits all template can be applied

WE ALL can be cruel, unkind, and “abusive” in our language.

When this happens, when we are on the receiving it, it is about renewing our mind with truth and not allowing the lies and cruelty to penetrate. It is about looking past the words and seeing the true enemy….sin, the sin that does rule and reign in us at times.

EXAMPLE - My own experience being mercilessly teased, made fun of, mocked, etc as a kid. I had to learn to ignore it and not even give it any credence whatsoever. I knew they are just being cruel and unkind. I knew it was not true. Over time, as I refused to respond or even acknowledge them, it stopped.

Proverbs 15:1

Sometimes, NO answer is the best response. It fizzles real fast when there is no reaction.

Point is, we have to tread carefully when it comes to “verbal abuse.”

But, and again, I say this carefully recognizing that there may well be cases that do not fit into this neat and tidy box I am about to draw....verbal abuse is not mentioned in scripture as one of the reasons why divorce and separation is permissible.

Perhaps in cases of extreme cases, there may be a need to separate for a time for safety but I personally believe that these cases are likely VERY rare.

The standard for separation for verbal abuse, by the worlds standards, is very low. Lower than I believe scripture would put it.

Our standard is higher. And I believe that God does call us at times to persist and live under less than ideal or good circumstances because when we do with a holy and righteous conduct, God is glorified and our sanctification is strengthened.

I aim to return to this subject in a later message as we will discuss how to live with an unbelieving/ungodly spouse…perhaps one that is even unkind and abusive, but it merits comment here.

Thing is, we can elevate our desire for affirmation and approval to a petulant style demand so much so that when it is withheld, we see no other use for the marriage and begin to make plans to exit.....when God is calling us to stay.

Truth is, in a marriage relationship hard things WILL be said and need to be said. We need to be inviting and accepting of them recognizing that one of God’s intents for our marriage is that we would be made holy.

This is even harder to accept when the mode of the words coming at us is gross and sinful.

BUT if there are words of truth in them, we need to learn and grow from it.

The hard reality of those question though, leave us with a evaluation to make. Do we value the correction and rebuke of another no matter the form it takes because we value holiness more than man’s affirmation, no matter how precious to us that they are?

Those questions smacked me. Why? Because as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes my actions are made more in an attempt to please my wife, gain her approval, and avoid conflict than it is in doing what I know I ought to do.

Gary Thomas

“I believe it is possible to enter marriage with a view to being cleansed spiritually, if, that is, we do so with a willingness to embrace marriage as a spiritual discipline. To do this, we must not enter marriage predominantly to be fulfilled, emotionally satisfied, or romantically charged, but rather to become more like Jesus Christ. We must embrace the reality of having our flaws exposed to our partner and thereby having them exposed to us as well. Sin never seems quite as shocking when it is known only to us; when we see how it looks or sounds to another, it is magnified ten times over.”

Gary Thomas - Sacred Marriage

And in so being exposed, it provides opportunity for sorrow with leads to repentance and sanctification.

Paul, in writing to the wicked Corinthian church which had permitted all manner of wickedness and perversion in their midst, rebuked them greatly in his first letter. By the time he comes to his second letter to them, he writes...

2 Corinthians 7:9-11

It did not please Paul to confront their sin. He did not enjoy it. And it caused great grief and sorrow, but sorrow that lead to repentance and righteousness.

Therefore, their was joy in the rebuke, there was joy in the correction. Because it led to life.

This is the same reality that can happen in the context of marriage when we view it as a tool in God’s toolbox to make us more like Christ, MORE than it is intended to merely make us emotionally and relationally happy.

Thomas share his theory, one that I find likely has much truth to it. He say...

“I have a theory: Behind virtually every case of marital dissatisfaction lies unrepented sin. Couples don’t fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance. Sin, wrong attitudes, and personal failures that are not dealt with slowly erode the relationship, assaulting and eventually erasing the once lofty promises made in the throes of an earlier (and less polluted) passion.”

Gary Thomas

He’s probably not wrong. But it hurts to hear it, doesn’t it?

God is calling us to confront, address, and repent of the sins that are exposed to us in this marital relationship that we have committed to.

Companionship and Help - Genesis 2:18

Two points to note....

It is not good that man should be alone

I will make a helper fit for him

Context - Back up to Genesis 2:15

Context - WORKING and KEEPING the garden

In the context of the work and mission God assigned to man, he says, it is not good that man should be alone, I will make a helper fit for him.

This helper meets two needs.

Companionship and Aid

LISTEN, here again, we gain a better understanding of the purpose of marriage through looking at God.

Marriage, in its very design is a picture of the trinity and the relationship of a single God existing in three persons, yet in one being, and perfect relationship.

“…God is triune…God has existed from all eternity as three persons - Father, Son, and Spirit- who know and love one another. And therefore, among other things being created in God’s image means that we were designed for relationships.”

Tim Keller - The Meaning of Marriage

The very reality of marriage is part of what it means to be created in the image of God. The union of man and woman, two persons, into one flesh is a picture (flawed and overly simplistic as it is) of the nature of God as ONE God in THREE persons.

Side note....I think we often fail to fully understand or appreciate what it means to be made in the image of God. As I have reflected on this truth over the years, I have come to see the vast depths of this simple statement in new ones. And marriage, I believe, is a living picture of the image of God. Which is one of the reasons why Satan was to destroy it so badly.

Aid - A helpmate

The task of working and keeping creation was too large of a one to do alone.

But is not just in the work of creation that they wives are helpmates.

When laid against the backdrop of Ephesians 5:22-33, as we have come to see already, marriage is a platform used of God to shape us into the image of Christ. It is a tool in the work of our sanctification.

It is the truest and deepest of all friendships that has eternal and spiritual depth that runs deeper than even the best spiritual friendship because it possesses a oneness and unity that goes even deeper than two friends.

The sad thing is, marriage is not viewed well or often these days as a deep friendship at the core of its being. Viewing marriage as deep friendship is almost a foreign thought today.

And yet, God intends marriage to be the deepest and truest spiritual friendship that provides companionship and aid in all areas of life.

Listen, so many abandon this quest too soon. Because marriage has become about ME, the me-marriage, when it is no longer about me, they quit. Marriage is intended for companionship, yes, but it is also intended to be the source of aid for one another the is concerned about the holiness of the other.

Compatibility is a farce. The philosophy and approach will fail.

“What keeps the marriage going is your commitment to your spouse’s holiness. You’re committed to his or her beauty. You’re committed to his greatness and perfection. You’re committed to her honesty and passion for the things of God. That’s your job as a spouse. Any lesser goal than that, any smaller purpose, and you’re just playing at being married.”

Tim Keller - The Meaning of Marriage

How many of us view marriage this way?

How many of us view the goal and purpose of marriage to be about the sanctification and holiness of the other?

How many of us are really committed to that purpose?

Unfortunately, the divorce rates are the sobering answer to that question.

Friendship is the foundation of a healthy marriage. Not attraction of sexual appeal. Attraction and sexual appeal are not unimportant, just not the foundation.

Your marriage and the friendship with your spouse must be your number one priority (after your relationship to God). If it is not, if your spouse is mainly viewed as a partner (sexual, financial, etc), the relationship will not satisfy your whole person as God intended it to. And you will have to look outside of the marriage for that which you sense you lack; children, job, hobbies, friendship, etc. The marriage will then slowly die. If your spouse is not your first priority.

We often tell our kids, when they complain we are taking another date night, that listen, you guys will grow up leave. We won’t. We have to foster our relationship and keep it healthy because it is the primary human relationship.

Marriage is about companionship, intimacy, and deep relationship…a echo of the Trinity.

Conclusion

Marriage is rich and deep!

It is beautiful and transcendent.

It’s purpose is grander and larger than what we often give it credence for.

We need to reclaim that view. To hold it alot, unashamed, unapologetic, and proclaim its worth both within and outside of the church!

Truth is, what keeps you committed to your marriage, no matter how rocky it gets, is your love for God and your desire for your spouses holiness.

If those two things are not at the forefront of your marriage, you will be quick to abandon it.

If you are not committed to loving God and allowing your marriage to sanctify and make you holy, you will be quick to abandon.

If we elevate our comfort, desires, and wants above these two things, we will not remain committed to marriage.

Marriage is...

Let me return to Christopher Ash’s definition and summary for a moment...

The Biblical view of marriage is a God-given, voluntary, sexual, and public union of one man and one woman, from different families for the purpose of serving God.

He summaries his view of marriage by saying....

Marriage was first instituted by God in the order of creation, given by God as an unchangeable foundation for human life. Marriage exists so that through it humanity can serve God through children, through faithful intimacy, and through properly ordered sexual relationships. This union is patterned upon the union of God with his people who are his bride, Christ with his Church. Within marriage, husbands are to exercise a role of self-sacrificial headship and wives a posture of godly submission to their husbands. This institution points us to our hope of Christ returning to claim his bride, making marriage a living picture of the gospel of grace.

Marriage points to God as a living example of the gospel

Marriage is a tool working to sanctify and make us holy

And marriage is for companionship and help - a living display of the community and relationship that God exists in at all times as a Triune God.

With these truths exposed from scripture, how can we not have a high view of God?

How can we not commit to them as a means for growing together to become more like Jesus for the glory of God?

Application and Discussion Questions

Why is holiness one of God’s primary goals? What makes it so essential?

Because God is holy.

It is essential because God is Holy

Holiness is necessary for true intimacy with God. Because, if we are to know and enjoy God in the deepest way, we have to relate to him as He is. He is holy and sin free. He cannot tolerate sin because it is contrary to his nature. Thus, we need to be holy if we are to enjoy fellowship and intimacy with Him.

Thus, God will use marriage as a tool to continue that process.

What makes marriage such a prime medium through which to achieve holiness?

Because there is no one who knows as well, as completely as the one with whom we are our lives in the most open and vulnerable ways possible.

No other human relationship goes as deep, exposes as widely, or is as desired and prized by us.

There is little we can hide from the one we live with day in and day out.

Why is it notable that holiness, not happiness, is one of the primary goals of marriage?

If we are seeking happiness, when we are not longer happy in the relationship, when it is no longer easy or enjoyable, when it requires work or effort, we will be quick to abandon it.

When holiness is the goal, we will see the conflict, the tension, the vulnerability, the exposure as a means to grow ourselves and we will have an eye to how we can encourage our spouse to grow in Christ likeness.

Holiness as a goal will be a stronger motivation to stay, to fight, to work, to endure than will happiness.

What is difference between happiness and joy?

Happiness is circumstantial.

Happiness is fleeting.

Happiness is based on emotion and feeling.

Joy is eternal.

Joy is a state of mind, a conviction, an attitude that persists even when circumstances are not happy or enjoyable.

Why is a deep spiritual friendship the surest foundation for a healthy marriage?

Because only this kind of friendship/relationship will weather the test of time and trial to remain.

Attraction, sexual appeal, even “common interests” can and will change.

Friendship, and that of a spiritually based friendship, will remain and stay even AS we change and grow becoming different and new people over the years.

Having a source outside of temporal and fleeting realities; one that is rooted in eternal will give greater strength to remaining in challenge.

What does a true spiritual friendship look like?

Committed to one another’s holiness and sanctification

Truth, integrity, compassion, grace, transparency.

Unconditional love and grace.

Walking along side, together pursuing a common passion in God.

How do we/can we help each other become more holy?

Pray with and for each other

Point one another back to scripture

Admonish and rebuke when necessary

Teach and instruct

Support and encourage

Love and show mercy and grace

How does having this perspective change/strengthen a high view of marriage?

It raises the marriage above earthly, temporal, and fleshly matters. It places a higher and greater purpose on marriage so that it becomes about more than just us. Strengthens our reason then for staying.