8 Spiritual Truths

Father’s Day 2021

What’s a dad? The person who brings home the bacon? The person who is in charge of discipline?

Some stats this morning from the Rochester Area Fatherhood Network –

· 85% of youth in prison grew up without a father

· 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes

· 80% of anger motivated rapists – fatherless homes

· 43% of children in the US live right now without a father

· 63% of youth suicides are from a fatherless home

But…

· Kids with fathers are 40% less likely to repeat a grade

· Kids with dads are 70% less likely to drop out of hs

· Kids with dads are more likely to get all A’s, enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.

I found these while searching for topics for Father’s Day and modified them. An old wife’s tale came to mind, “The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

Use all senses to teach this message.

In each paper lunch bag are some treats. We’ll look at them one at a time and see how they remind us of something important about being a father. Now it’s not my intent that you eat everything right now, I recommend that you hold it till later. You are free to do with it as you will but I ask that you do something creative to remind you of the things that each item stands for. Please take out each item in the order that I call them.

But first, let us pray

Fruit Snacks: Remind us of God’s instruction to bear fruit (children). Genesis 1:27-28a, “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” (NIV)

After the flood, God reaffirmed this command to Noah in Gen. 9:1, “Then God blessed Noah and his sons, saying to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth.” (NIV)

The birth of a child is nothing short of a miracle.

My emotions and memories of our miracles

To this day, the proudest day of my life was holding my kids for the first time. Ps 127:3-5, “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” (NIV) Now Scripture doesn’t say how many is a quiver full, but if you were a warrior going into battle, it might make sense to have more than one or two arrows in your quiver.

Thousands of years ago, there wasn’t a paper money system, there wasn’t a stock market, 401k, pension or any kind of retirement plans like we have available today.

Your retirement was your children; they would take care of you when you got older.

Today, the need for the big family is not as necessary; however, children are how a family is built.

They come out

· no instruction manuals and no warranties.

· Non-refundable.

· Yet they are life as life itself.

· They take you to life’s highest highs and lowest lows.

Each child is different, unique, distinctive and special; like each different flavor and fruit.

What works in raising one child does not necessarily work for another. But one thing is for sure, in our culture, it takes a lot of money to raise a child today…

100-Grand Bar: Reminds us that it costs a lot to raise children and its not just money.

1 Tim 5:8, “But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” (KJV)

Kids, like any of us need the basics; we need food, clothing, shelter and protection.

When we as fathers start a family, we’ve got to give up many of our own wants to take care of the needs of the family.

They must come first. In our selfish, self-centered culture, I see this has become an increasingly bigger problem and only gets worse

. Fathers want big ticket toys, the fancy and fun things in life to the point of short changing their responsibilities in the home. You brought a child into this world then you need to fulfill that responsibility to the best of your abilities.

When I talk about putting them first, it’s not just money wise, this also includes your time. Children desperately need your most valued possession – you – your time.

Surveys tell us that the average father spends about 3.5 to 7 minutes per day in conversation with their children. There is no better choice of a father’s time than to invest it into the lives of his own flesh and blood.

I read of Kenneth Chaflin, a seminary professor, who asked his daughter to describe what she thought it meant to be a good daddy. He jotted down her response:

• To catch a fish • Build a fire • Fly a kite

• Catch a butterfly • Plant a flower • Get a kitty out of the mud

Nothing that his daughter wanted in an “ideal father” required money. What she wanted was his time.

I asked my kids the same question – and surprisingly Scripture verses were their first answers –

Titus 2:2, 7-8 ESV “Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.”

Ephesians 6:4 ESV “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Supportive of their kids dreams – Allows them to ask questions and are led and taught not forced – just there for you

Being present – love unconditionally – teach them a biblical life style

Beyond the basics of food, shelter, clothing and protection, what a child needs most is time with Dad! Why? That’s my next point…

A Teacher’s Apple: Reminds us of the teaching responsibilities we have as fathers. Prov. 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it.” (NIV)

Children need training in competence. The old saying is true, “A good self-esteem alone will not guarantee acceptance into college or a challenging job in the workforce.”

There are real world demands and we need to challenge them early academically, athletically, mechanically, musically, artistically, etc.

They need to learn how to take risks, even fail, then get up again and try again.

We need to teach our children relational skills. In the last 50 years, we’ve seen incredible breakthroughs in research, technology and manufacturing, but sadly, during the same time we’ve grown steadily worse in our abilities to build and sustain human relationships and not to give up when something goes astray

This needs to be a fundamental area of training. All other competencies pale in comparison to this one.

This training starts in the home. Deut 6:5-7, “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” (NIV) It’s more caught than taught.

Must teach by example – caught more than taught – (story about father teaching his son about honesty)

Beef Jerky: Reminds us that as fathers, when necessary, we have to bring the beef – be tough – discipline our children.

If there is no respect for the laws of the home, how can you expect that there will be respect for the laws of the land, how can you expect there will be respect for the laws of God?

Children need discipline. Prov. 19:18, “Correct your children while there is still hope; do not let them destroy themselves.” (NCV)

Discipline comes from the same root word as disciple. It encompasses both positive and negative forms. Too often when we think of discipline in the home, we naturally think of the negative.

Discipline is much more than punishment, it is love in action. Heb 12:5-7, “‘My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.’… For what son is not disciplined by his father?” (NIV)

Heb 12:9-11, “Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (NIV)

Sometimes our children might think we are jerks when we are tough but you are not responsible for their feelings toward you. Your primary purpose is not to win a popularity contest with them. They do need to respect you. Children often say in their rash, selfish and immature states, “I hate you.” But believe me, there will be a day when they’ll understand and love you for your values, morals and consistency.

Twizzlers: Reminds us that as life happens and gets all twisted up, we have to be flexible.

Col 3:21, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” (NIV) We have to have common sense. And common sense is becoming extinct because father’s have failed to model and teach it.

You can’t be too rigid. Life happens and it throws us all kinds of curves and twists. We’ve got to have some flexibility or we’ll snap.

Sometimes if a child messes up, the best thing is to have a good laugh.

Prov 17:22, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (NIV) It can’t be all work and no play. Kids need the fun times, play times, light hearted – horsing around times. It’s okay to love and serve the Lord and have fun too!

God is not a stick in the mud – He wants us to enjoy life, have fun

“Little Hug” drink in a barrel: Reminds us that children need to be touched in loving ways. This makes us able to swallow and wash everything else down.

Physical touch is one of the most effective healing measures out there. Whole ministries are formed around this – babies in hospitals, nursing homes etc

Tender touches appropriate for the age – hugs, kisses and the cheek and forehead send signals of affirmation and affection that make for a solid and secure foundation.

Our codes –

Too many kids are dying to be held. Dads, if you don’t hold and hug your daughters, that void will be so great that they’ll run to the arms of others with less honorable intentions. Sons will look for it other places. Smother them with affection. We are to love our kids unconditionally just like our Heavenly Father loves us.

Love their mother in a Godly fashion so your daughters know how they should be loved and your sons know how a husband should love.

Milky Way Candy Bar: Reminds us to point our kids to a future that is out of this world.

Aim for the moon – even if they miss they will land among the stars

We need lead to the God of this universe. We need to impart spiritual values and truth to them. What a misfortune to provide everything else for our children but fail to give them an eternal destiny.

Every child is being bombarded with images of pleasure, power, lust and hate. Without direct intervention, they learn to make value judgments from these images that lead to high-speed crashes down the wrong roads of life.

Life Saver: Reminds us to use one our most powerful tools in raising our kids – prayer. Here are 31 specific virtues (Excerpted from Pray! Magazine, issue #4, Bob Hostetler, 1999) to not only pray for your kids but lead by example with:

1. Salvation – “Lord, let salvation spring up with my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory. Bear fruit and ” (Is. 45:8; 2 Tim. 2:10)

2. Growth in Grace – “I pray that my children may grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18)

3. Love – “Grant Lord, that my children may learn to live a life of love, through the Spirit who dwells in them and to be willing to give of themselves as Christ gave Himself up for us.” (Gal. 5:25; Eph. 5:2)

4. Honesty & Integrity – “May integrity and honesty be their virtue and their protection.” (Ps. 25:21)

5. Self-Control – “Father, help my children not to be like many other around them, but let them be alert and self-controlled in all they do.” (1 Thess. 5:6)

6. Love for God’s Word – “May my children grow to find Your Word more precious than much pure gold and sweeter than honey from the comb.” (Ps. 19:10)

7. Justice – “God, help my children to love justice as You do and act justly in all they do.” (Ps. 11:7; Mic. 6:8)

8. Mercy – “May my children always be merciful, just as their Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:36)

9. Respect (for self, others and authority) – “Father, grant that my children may show proper respect to everyone, as Your Word commands.” (1 Peter 2:17)

10. Biblical Self-Esteem – “Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus, prepared beforehand, created on purpose, for a purpose and with a purpose.” (Eph. 2:10)

11. Faithfulness – “Let love and faithfulness never leave my children, but bind these twin virtues around their necks and write the on the tablet of their hearts.” (Prov. 3:3)

12. Courage – “May my children always be strong and courageous in their character and in their actions holding onto the truth that fear does not come from you but from the enemy and that you will never leave them nor forsake them.” (Deut. 31:6)

13. Purity – “Renew a right spirit in them and create in them a pure heart, O God, and let that purity of heart be shown in their actions.” (Ps. 51:10)

14. Kindness – “Lord, may my children always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else, seeking to always do good and never repay evil with evil.” (1 Thess. 5:15)

15. Generosity – “Grant that my children may be generous and willing to share, and so layup treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age.” (1 Tim. 6:18-19)

16. Peace-loving – “Father, let my children make every effort to do what leads to peace and the mutual building up of others.” (Rom. 14:19)

17. Joy – “May my children be imitators of you Lord, filled with the joy no matter the circumstance, the joy that is given by the Holy Spirit.” (1 Thess. 1:6)

18. Perseverance – “Lord, teach my children perseverance in all they do, and help them especially to run with perseverance the race marked out for them.” (Heb. 12:1)

19. Humility – “God, please cultivate in my children the ability to show true humility toward all; not speaking evil of anyone, avoid the arguments and being gentle and courtesy towards all.” (Titus 3:2)

20. Compassion – “Lord, please clothe my children with the virtue of compassion. Showing kindness and meekness and patience while being humble in heart and mind” (Col. 3:12)

21. Responsibility – “Grant that my children may learn responsibility, for each one should carry his own load.” (Gal. 6:5)

22. Contentment – “Father, teach my children the secret of being content in any and every situation, through Him who gives them strength. (Phil. 4:12-13)

23. Faith – “I pray that faith will find root, grow and increase in my children’s hearts, that by faith they may gain what has been promised to them. Let them look to those whose faith you increased through obedience.” (Luke 17:5-6; Heb. 11:1-40)

24. A Servant’s Heart – “God, please help my children develop servants’ hearts, that they may serve wholeheartedly, as if they were serving the Lord, not men.” (Eph. 6:7)

25. Hope – “May the God of hope grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Rom. 15:13)

26. Willingness and Ability to Work – “Teach my children, Lord, to value work and to work at it with all their heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” (Col. 3:23)

27. Passion for God – “Lord, please instill in my children a soul that ‘follows hard after thee’ (Ps. 63:8, KJV), one that clings passionately to you and allows your hand to uphold them.”

28. Self-discipline – “Father, I pray that my children may acquire a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair. Be willing and open to instruction from righteous believers and those firmly planted in your presence.” (Prov. 1:3)

29. Prayerfulness – “Grant Lord, that my children’s lives may be marked by prayerfulness, that they may learn to pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” (Eph. 6:8)

30. Gratitude – “Help my children to live lives that are always overflowing with thankfulness and always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Eph. 5:20; Col. 2:7)

31. A Heart for Missions – “Lord, please help my children to develop a desire to see your glory declared among the nations, your marvelous deeds among all peoples. Give them a heart to share your love, grace and forgiveness to those first near to them and increasing their circle of influence.” (Ps. 96:3)

If we are men of God and I don't mean pastors worship leaders deacons trustees I'm talking about if you have an ex and Y chromosome and you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior you are a man of God and these are the things that you are to teach to the next generation, demonstrate what being a man of God and a spiritual leader looks like.

Fathers, take these items and let the Holy Spirit pin the messages to your heart and challenge you to rise to the challenge of being a godly father. Claim God’s power that’s available. Let us pray the prayer of David together: Ps 101:2, “I will try to walk a blameless path, but how I need your help, especially in my own home, where I long to act as I should.” (TLB)

Let us pray our guiding Scripture - Titus 2:2, 7-8 ESV Lord help us men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled,

Help us to stay grounded and sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.

Help us to show in all respects a model of good works,

Let our teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

Help us to lead as much as to teach.