Responsibilities of the Father

Father’s Day 2021

The Responsibilities of a Father

I have heard a lot of Mother’s Day sermons and Father’s day sermons. It appears to me that what happens is on Mother’s Day the sermon always contains phrases about how kind and loving mothers are and how everyone should appreciate their mother. Then a month later it is Father’s Day and the preacher will talk about how fathers have neglected their responsibilities and how crude and self serving fathers are. You know I think as you watch television and movies you see quite enough of that. I grew up watching Father Knows Best, The Rifleman and Bonanza with strong, wise fathers but in today's media and entertainment the father, the head of the household, is made to look like a buffoon, a fool who can do nothing right and simply is tolerated by his wife and children who always know best what to do. So today I simply thought I would explain some of the responsibilities of the father. But before I do this I need you to understand a couple of things. First, there are more negative examples in Scripture than there are positive examples. I believe the reason for this is God gave us commands and precepts to live by and if those commands and precepts are followed then there is no need for a whole lot of positive examples. There are, however some, and we will look at a few of them. Second, ladies you cannot just turn me off now that the Father's Day sermon has begun. Everyone here either is a father, will be a father, has a father, is married to a father, will be married to a father, or will be married to a person who has a father, knows a father or has a position in the church, community or a job that requires you to have responsibility of others which is fatherly in nature. I think that covers just about everyone in here. If you do not think you fall into one of those categories then you can go ahead and go to sleep and the rest of us will wake you if you snore.

Please understand that I am not going to try to cover all of the responsibilities of the father, we would be here all day and though I could preach for an extended length of time, we have a meal to enjoy together. I am going to talk about four responsibilities of the father: The responsibility to have your priorities right, the responsibility to know when to say no, the responsibility to know when to let go, and the responsibility to never give up. We will find our text today in Genesis 22, 34, Judges 13-16 and Luke 15. Don’t worry we won’t be looking in depth at all of those passages. Lets pray.

In Genesis 22 we see one of those stories that on the surface seem rather bazaar. Abraham and Sarah has been most of their lives without children of their own. Sarah was barren and finally God gave her and Abraham a son, when she was ninety and he was 100. God told Abraham to take his son up on a mountain and there offer him up as a burnt offering. Then Gen 22:3 says 3So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son; and he split the wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. There appears to be no hesitation in the actions of Abraham but I wonder about his emotions. Abraham loved his wife and he knew that sacrificing his only son would devastate both him and his beloved wife Sarah. Still he did not hesitate. Scripture says that when he saw the mountain afar off he told his servants to stay with the animals and he and the boy would return. Then he took the wood for the offering and the torch, and his knife to kill his only son. Then in Gen 22:7-8 7But Isaac spoke to Abraham his father and said, “My father!” And he said, “Here I am, my son.” Then he said, “Look, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?” 8And Abraham said, “My son, God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering.” So the two of them went together.

They got up on the mountain top, still without the lamb for the offering, and Abraham and Isaac arrange the wood so that Isaac could be offered up as a sacrifice. Then Abraham bound up his only son, the one he had waited his whole life for and he lays him on the altar of sacrifice. He raises the knife to plunge it into the heart of his only son.

Then in verse 11 and 12 of Gen 22 11But the Angel of the Lord called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” So he said, “Here I am.” 12And He said, “Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.”

Then God's Word says that Abraham saw a ram with his horns stuck in the bushes and he goes and gets the sacrifice that God had truly provided.

Abraham loved his son and he loved his wife. Abraham would have done nothing to cause them harm and he would have done anything for them. But Abraham had his priorities right. Abraham knew his God and above all else he wanted to have that fellowship with Him that he had come to cherish. Abraham knew that if his relationship with God was not first and foremost in his life then nothing else would be right in his life. He could not be the husband he was suppose to be or the father he was suppose to be. Folks, the same holds true today. I know that it goes against our very instinct, and against everything that we are taught but if our children's education, our children's happiness, even our children in general are our priority then we have cheated our children. And by the way this hold true every aspect of your life not just fathering; it holds true in your personal life and in your professional life. Father, mother, grandparent, leader, we must Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things, your children's happiness, education, well being, will be added unto you. We must be careful to make our priorities right.

We do not know what would have happened if Abraham had made Isaac his priority rather than his relationship with God. But we do know from Scripture that Isaac became a father and one of his sons, Jacob got renamed as Israel from whom came 12 sons that brought about the nation of Israel and from Israel all the families of the earth was blessed through Christ. We don't know what would have happened but we know what happened because of one father's priorities being in order. The first responsibility; Keep your priorities right.

The next responsibility of a father is to know when to say NO or when to correct our children. We will be in Genesis 34 for this one. With this point we could dwell for days because there are many instances in Scripture that fathers refused to say no or to correct their children with disastrous results. I am going to mention a couple but I'll not stay too long because I think you will be able to get the picture with just the simple stories. First there was Jacob or Israel. In the 34 chapter of Genesis we see that the Prince of the Hivites where Jacob and his sons were living decided he was in love with one of Jacob's daughters named Dinah (she is the only daughter of Jacob listed). Instead of marrying her he simply took her to his house and as Scripture puts it he lay with her. Then he decided he would marry her. Her brothers, Levi and Simeon, heard about what happened and they went to this prince Shechem, and told them: Genesis 34:15-16 15But on this conditionwe will consent to you: If you will become as we are, if every male of you is circumcised, 16then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters to us; and we will dwell with you, and we will become one people. The men of Shechem go ahead and go through with the surgery because the prince convinces them that it is a good political and economic move. Then we see in Gen 34:25-26 25Now it came to pass on the third day, when they were in pain, that two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, each took his sword and came boldly upon the city and killed all the males. 26And they killed Hamor and Shechem his son with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah from Shechem’s house, and went out. Now you may say that the people of Shechem had that coming to them after what they did to Dinah, and I can't say I would not have done the same thing. But I want you to see how Jacob responded to the news of his son's actions: Gen 34:30 And Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, You have troubled me, to make me stink among those who live in the land, among the Canaanites and the Perizzites. And I, being few in number, they shall gather themselves together against me, and kill me. And I shall be destroyed, my house and I. Jacob was not concerned with the right or wrong of what his sons did, he was only concerned with how it made him look in the community. He did not correct his sons. He did not know when to say NO!

There is another father who just would not say no to his son. Judges tells of a family that had a son who ran rampant in the community and the father refused to correct him. In Judges 13 we meet this man named Manoah and he has a son named Samson. Now Samson was called of God even before his birth to be a Nazarite. That meant he could not cut his hair, couldn't drink wine, touch anything dead or run around with women. If you were to read the account of Samson in Judges 13, 14, 15, and 16 you would see that he was guilty in breaking each one of these vows. I will cover just one of them. Samson goes to his parents and tells them he wants a Philistine woman as his wife. His parents try to talk him out of it but he would have none of it so they got him what he wanted. His parents would not say not to their son. Yes their son was one of the judges or deliverers of Israel before the times of the kings but before he was a deliverer he was a wicked young man who his parent would not say no to. People our children need to know what the word “no” means. If you don’t believe me listen to the Ten Commandments. I am the LORD thy God, Thou shalt have no other gods, You shall make no graven images or likenesses, You shall not take the LORD's name in vain, Remember the sabbath day, Honour thy father and thy mother, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet. By my count there are 7 “thou shalt not’s” and only 3 “thou shalts”. If we will not correct our children and say “no” to them then how will they ever hear God correct them? Correct your children and grandchildren, and allow those in authority over them to correct them (teachers and coaches), because the goal is to have them hear God's correction when He speaks to them in that still small voice calling them to repentance. If our children never know they have done something wrong they will never know they need a Savior. Paul tells us that is why we have to law. Know when to say “NO”!

We have talked about having our priorities right and we have talked about knowing when to say no. Now let’s look at the third responsibility. In Luke 15 Jesus tells the parable of the prodigal son. There was once a man who had two sons. One day one of the sons came to him and said basically; I'm tired of waiting for you to die, give me my inheritance now. You can read the account in: Luk 15:12 12And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. The father went ahead and divided his living between his two sons. Then the younger son took his inheritance and squandered it on riotous living. In other words he partied it away. Now the father of the two young men could have refused to divide his goods up between his sons. This heartbroken father probably realized that he had taught his son to live justly, to follow the laws of God. This father did the hardest thing a father can do. He let his son go. Yes we need to know how to say “No” but there comes a time when we have to know when to let go. He knew the heartbreak that was coming for his young son but he allowed him to make his own mistakes in his rebellion. Notice that the scripture says that he divided his livelihood between them. This father had two sons and by giving them their inheritance he was basically letting both of his sons go. They were both free to do as they pleased. Two children raised in the same household, with the same teaching, and the same training will not always live the same lifestyle after they are grown. We as parents must be willing to let our children go and make their own lives. Fathers, parents, grandparents, leaders, know when to let your children go.

There is one more responsibility that fathers have and it is closely related to the last responsibility of knowing when to let go. This responsibility is to never give up on your children. The same father we talked about in Luke 15 let go of his son but if you read a little bit farther in the Luke 15 we see something that is nothing short of pure love. We read in verses 20-24: And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.

Parents there is nothing in scripture that says that we should expect our children to go astray, you know the boys will be boys thing or they have to sow their wild oats. That is not anywhere in God's plan; we are not to expect this to happen. But if, and you notice I say if not when, if this happens as in the case of this son we just read about we as parents, grandparent, and leaders/teachers, must be looking forward to the time our children or loved ones return. The father in this story saw the son from a far off. He was looking for his son's return, believing that it would happen, waiting for the opportunity to let his son know that he was forgiven and loved. We must never give up on those we have parented, led and loved, including our spouses when they fail us.

I want you to know this morning that our heavenly Father has exhibited each and every one of these responsibilities. 1 John 4:19 says: We love Him because He first loved us. And Romans 5:8 8But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. And of course John 3:1616For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. God has His priorities right. His priority is love.

He knows when to say no and corrects us. Hebrews 12:6 tells us: for whom the Lord loves He chastens, and He scourges every son whom He receives. God also knows when to let go, He even prepared a way for us to correct the relationship with him when we do sin. 1John 2:1 lets us know: My little children, I write these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. God is willing to let us go because He desires a relationship out of love not force. God never gives up on His children. Like the father in Luke 15 God is always looking for our return, longing for our return. Revelation 3:20 20Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. I can quote other passages where this is true but instead look within your own life, your own experiences and see where you know this is true, what are your experiences?

God’s priorities are right. He loves. God knows when to say no or correct His children. God knows when to let go and prepared a way to correct the relationship. God never gives up. Let’s pray.