Titus 2:3-5 Doctrinally Sound Women Part 2: Godly Wives

Intro

What does it mean to be a godly wife?

Every Christian woman wants to honor God in their marriage, but the sad part is our feminist society has muddied the waters so much that most women don’t know up from down.

And then because everyone gets so offended when you talk about submission, most pastors either ignore it all together, or apologize so many times to no one actually believes they need to obey it.

And if they do talk about it, they spend the whole sermon trying to justify wives submitting to their husbands, that there’s very little practical instruction for how to actually do that.

So that’s my goal today. I want to answer what does it mean to be a godly wife and how does God say you actually go about doing that.

And I want to give credit where credit is due at the outset. A lot of this sermon, maybe even most of it, was inspired by Doug Wilson from Moscow Idaho.

Now I love Doug Wilson and you should too. And about the only thing I disagree with him on, I think, is that when you dunk a baby wet underwater, you should call it a bath, not a baptism.

But there are two helpful talks from Doug that I would recommend to you.

You can find both of these on YouTube. One is called Loving Wives and the other is called Respecting Husbands, and most of this comes from those talks.

They’d be worth your time and will say things better than I will here, and basically if you hear anything clever, or insightful, or wise, instead of me citing Wilson every time, just go ahead and assume its from him.

Now here’s going to be two points to this sermon. First, we are going to talk about what submission is. Then we are going to talk about how that works itself out in a biblical marriage.

And at the very end I’m going to give you some homework that I want every married couple to do.

So let’s start with point number 1...

I. Godly Wives Submit to Their Own Husbands

Titus 2:3-5 Older women…are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands that the word of God may not be reviled.

In the context of this passage, Paul is urging Titus to teach what accords with sound doctrine.

Paul says Older women are to teach what is good, and so train the young women.

Let me highlight something just for a moment. Older women, our church needs you.

God calls older women to teach younger women how to be godly women.

What you should see from that is women have a huge role in making the church salt and light in the world.

Without older women training younger women, how will our women shine with the glory of Christ as biblical, godly women against the darkness of feminism that dominates the world?

Without you, our light will be dim. So be a Titus 2 Woman. Invest your life beyond yourself and your home for the glory of Christ!

And specifically, Paul wants older women to teach younger women to love and be submissive to their own husbands.

This is the mark of a godly wife. Submission to her own husband.

This is radioactive in our culture today. Wives are called to submit? That is so sexist, misogynistic, oppressive. That can’t possibly be God’s will!

So knowing we are fighting an uphill battle when it comes to wives submitting to their husbands, I want to do two things.

First, I want to define what submission is, then I want to show you why a wife’s submission is a glorious display of God’s grace in Christ.

Submission

When you hear the word “submission,” the first things that usually come into people’s minds are words like, inferior. Doormat. Controlled. Subjugated or oppressed. But that’s not what submission is.

Those are sinful perversions of what God intended for marriage.

First, God’s call for wives to submit to their husbands does not mean that all women are to submit to every man.

The Bible is clear, women are to submit to their own husbands. That’s exactly what Titus says. In fact, everywhere God commands wives to submit in the NT, it is always explicitly clear that they are only to submit to their own husband. Not men in general.

So when the Bible talks about men being the head of their wife, that’s not saying men are way up here on this level, and women are down here.

No. Each man is the head of his own wife, and each woman is submissive to her own husband.

Well what is submission?

Another way to think about it is obedience. Obedience? Yes. Obedience.

We will get into it in more detail, but the Bible says wives are to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, and that the husband is the head of his wife like Christ is the head of the church.

Well how do we submit to the Lord? We follow him. We listen to him. He takes the lead, and he directs our life. We defer everything to his will, trusting his love and kindness to always work for our good.

And that’s a picture of what God wants godly lives to be.

Now does that mean the husband is given absolute authority, and the wife just has to do what he says? No. Because even though the man is the head of his wife Christ is still the head of the man.

God gives the responsibility of headship to the man, not so the husband can wield that authority however he chooses, but so that he can steward his headship as a faithful servant of Christ.

So wives. If your husband asks you to sin. Don’t do it! That doesn’t make you unsubmissive. That makes you submissive to Christ who is your highest head. Your ultimate authority.

And in fact, if your husband is sinning against you by unrepentantly looking at pornography, verbally or God forbid physically abusing you, then go to him and say, “We need help. Our marriage is a wreck. Can we go to our pastors to get help and have a marriage that honors Christ?”

And if he says, No, and tells you not to tell anyone, then you should still come to your pastors, and its not unsubmissive to do so because God has given you your pastors and this church as protection for you if your husband is a tyrant.

And men, what you should notice about this passage and every other passage that talks about wives submitting to their husbands is that God does not call you to subjugate your wife.

You can lead her and even rebuke her if she isn’t submitting, but you can’t make her submit.

You can use your size, power, position, or income to dominate your wife and make her feel small. A man that does that does not know the love of Christ nor does he show honor to his wife as the weaker vessel.

God did not entrust us with headship to dominate our wives, but to love, serve and bless them. If we fail to steward our authority faithfully 1 Peter 3 says our prayers will be hindered.

A man that treats his wife as a tyrant may have a submissive wife, but he doesn’t honor God and God does not hear his prayers.

Fight vs. Dance Illustration

I think one of the reasons why our culture and even Christians immediately tense up when you talk about headship and submission is that we see authority and submission as a fight when instead we should be looking at it like a dance.

In a fight one man dominates the other. He brings the other through overpowering force into submission to him. He subjugates him.

That’s how many people look at marriage. There’s a winner and a loser.

But biblically authority and submission in a Christian marriage is more like a dance. The man leads and the woman follows, but both of them are working in unison with each other. Not opposed to each other.

If both people are trying to lead the waltz, you start stepping on each others toes. There’s fighting, strife and misery. And that’s how most people would describe their marriage.

But in a marriage where the husband and wife aren’t trying to dominate each other and come out on top, when they aren’t treating headship and submission as a fight, something beautiful happens.

Like a dance, the man and the woman share something together. There’s a unity there. Life there. Joy there.

In a fight the last one standing wins. But in a dance, both people enjoy the blessing of something special that wouldn’t be possible without one person leading as the head, and the other submitting to that authority.

So in a biblical marriage, the husband stewards his authority as a loving head knowing his role is not to subjugate his wife, but to lead her to a life of blessing that brings glory to Christ.

Likewise, a woman submits to her husband, not begrudgingly, but with a loving submission, knowing that without this trust and obedience to follow her husband, they will start stepping on each other’s toes and their waltz will turn into a street fight.

So here’s what Biblical Headship and Submission looks like.

God has entrusted the man to lead. To sacrificially love, serve and bless his wife by leading his marriage and family to honor Christ.

To guide the trajectory of his family toward Christ and obedience to him in everything. Men this is your responsibility.

Sometimes young men, in godly sincerity, will ask, “Does headship mean I have the final say?”

And here’s always my answer. “Ultimately, yes. But its better for you to understand your headship as meaning you have the final responsibility.

That God will hold you accountable for your wife and children on the day of judgment. And that changes everything for a man when he sees his headship is not about his authority, but about stewarding the authority Christ as entrusted to him.

Wives on the other hand, are called to follow their husband.

To respond to her husband’s leadership and use her gifts and wisdom to help her husband carry out this mission to honor Christ.

She follows his lead and yields herself to him, ultimately trusting Jesus in submitting to her husband.

In submission, a wife knows that Jesus is the head of her husband and he, not the sinful, broken man she is married to, is the one who is holding it all together.

Submission Displays Grace

The other thing I think will help us fight this uphill battle of biblical submission is to see how submission is not a lowly calling but is actually a high calling that displays God’s amazing grace in Christ.

Remember how God cursed Eve after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden.

Genesis 3:16 Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.

Part of the curse would be that Eve would struggle to submit to her husband. Remember God made her to help him.

God called Adam to tend the garden and God called Eve to tend the gardener, and that’s how the knowledge of the glory of God and the blessing of God’s Kingdom would cover the earth as the waters cover the sea.

Because of sin, submission is no longer natural. Its twisted. Gnarled. And broken.

The word translated desire is the same word used to warn Cain when God told him that Sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is to have you.

This is a word for control and domination. So Eve’s curse for her sin was that she would always year to usurp her husbands authority.

But in Christ, in the newness of eternal life, God fills women with the Holy Spirit and calls them to submit to their husband.

What that means is that in Christ, God is reversing the curse of sin. That every time the daughters of God, redeemed by the grace of Christ submit to their husbands, Christ is saying I am making all things new. Sin is defeated. I have overcome and now offer salvation to everyone who believes in me.

Submission does not make you lowly. Your loving submission to your husband as to the Lord is a powerful testimony to the world of God’s power to reverse the curse and save sinners.

Its a testimony that the gospel is true and Jesus really does save.

And in Ephesians 5, Paul’s magnum opus on marriage, the whole purpose of marriage, of a husband’s headship and his wife’s submission, is the glory of Christ and his gospel.

Ephesians 5:31-32 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

So Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 which comes right after God created Eve and gave her to Adam so when God says Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and the two shall become one flesh this is what God is saying happens in marriage.

Two become one.

And Paul says something amazing. This mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Here’s what that means. From the very beginning God made marriage to point to the glory of Christ and the church.

That marriage is a shadow. A picture of a greater reality. That there is more to marriage than falling in love and getting married.

Marriage is ultimately about Jesus.

Take the two becoming one flesh. There is a union that happens there and Jesus says that this union is the work of God. Therefore what God has joined together let no man separate.

Well how does this refer to Christ and his church?

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, and God made everything good.

But we sinned against God. Through Adam we rebelled against God and disobeyed him. And in our sin we blasphemed God because all sin really says is “God you are not holy and you are not worthy of all my love, devotion and obedience.”

And the Holy Spirit says “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”

We were his enemies. Separated from the God of life, under God’s just judgment and wrath.

But God in his love, mercy, and grace sent his Son, Jesus Christ.

Jesus, the Eternal God, the Second Person of the Trinity took on human flesh and lived the perfect sinless life. Where we disobeyed, he obeyed, and he perfectly glorified his Father as a Man.

And Jesus went to the cross and suffered and died as a man. Even though he had no sin of his own, Jesus took the wrath and judgment we deserved and suffered for our sins.

As the Bible says, Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree (Gal. 3:13).

He paid for our sins, and three days later he rose from the grave conquering sin, Satan, and Death, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish under God’s wrath, but have eternal life.

We are saved through faith in Christ. But how? How does that faith save us? How does a holy and righteous God take a bunch of sinners, declare them holy, and still call himself just?

God does this through our union with Christ.

Through faith in Christ, God takes us out of the pit of sin and death and places us in Christ. We become one with him.

His death becomes our death. His life our life. So that in Christ all of our sins are fully paid for, and in Christ God adopts us as sons and daughters who have perfectly obeyed and glorified him.

Through faith in Jesus, and through faith alone in Jesus, two become one. There’s a union there, and that union, just like in marriage is 100% the work of God and his grace.

What God has joined together let no man separate.

Marriage ultimately points to the gospel. Its a testimony to God’s glory and grace in Christ. The mystery is profound.

From the very beginning God was showing through marriage how he would save sinners through faith.

And not just marriage, but the roles the husband and wife play in marriage also reveal the glory of Christ.

Ephesians 5 is the same passage where Paul says husbands are to love their wives like Christ loves the church and wives are to submit to their husbands as to the Lord.

That means in a Christian marriage Headship and Submission both reveal something glorious about Jesus.

When husbands love their wives like Christ loves the church, they show a picture Christ’s sacrificial love, kindness, benevolence, goodness, mercy and grace.

And when women submit to their husbands they show two things.

One they give a picture of how to properly respond to the gospel of God’s grace. When God saves us, the church’s response is thankful submission and obedience.

So in submission women show just how great and glorious God’s grace should be to us.

Number 2, by submitting to their husbands, women show just how trustworthy, kind, and good Jesus is to his people.

That you really can give your life to Christ and trust him with your whole heart because he is only good all of the time.

Because at the end of the day, when you submit to your husband in obedience to Christ, your faith is not in the sinful man you married. Its in Christ.

This is why Peter even says women with unbelieving husbands should submit to them. For one, they might win them to Christ by using their life to show God’s power to save, but also because this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening (1 Peter 3:5-6).

When you submit to your husband, even a sinful husband, your hope is ultimately in God and you do not fear anything frightening because you believe the promises that God will never leave you or forsake you.

So you see submission is not a lowly position or office.

When you submit to your husband you are not a doormat like the feminist tell you.

You are adorning the gospel and proclaiming the glory of Jesus’ goodness and grace, and you are also proclaiming the power of God to save sinners because in Christ reverses the curse.

What a high calling that is.

Godly wives submit to their husbands.

That is the command that flows out of God’s grace in the gospel.

And the question I want to spend the rest of this sermon answering is How?

How does a wife love and submit to their husband? That brings us to point number 2...

II. Submissive Wives Respect Their Husbands

In Ephesians 5:33 Paul closes out his teaching about headship and submission and how they relate to Christ and his gospel with a short, concise application.

Ephesians 5:33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

So as the head, the husband is called to love his wife as himself. But I want you to notice what Paul says about the wife.

Earlier in verse 22 Paul commanded wives to submit to their own husbands. But here in applying that statement, Paul says let the wife see that she respects her husband.

This is telling because this shows us how a wife submits to her husband. She respects him.

And that word “respect” is loaded.

It can mean to be afraid or terrified. Is Paul saying Christian wives should fear their husbands? No.

Because this same word is used to talk about how Christians should fear God. We fear the Lord. That means we honor him. Cherish him. Adore him.

It can mean to have a profound amount of respect or reverence for someone with an underlying assumption that we are afraid of offending them. That we want to please them and bring good to them.

Its that kind of fear Paul has in mind. Submissive wives have a fear, reverence, respect, honor for their husbands.

Loving husbands love, submissive wives respect. Those are the actions, the activities of a biblical marriage.

Love and respect. Men are called to love, wives are called to respect.

And there’s a reason God set it up this way.

Men and women are different. We are all sinners, but men and women sin differently.

Its not like God is saying Men, you need to love your wives but don’t worry about respecting them.

Women, you need to respect your husbands, but don’t worry about loving them.

No. Men still need to respect their wives and wives still need to love their husbands.

What God is doing is commanding us where we are weakest.

Men are weak at loving. We get impatient, utilitarian, frustrated with weakness and getting slowed down. But our wives are the weaker vessel and we need to love them because left to ourselves, our sin will tempt us to leave them behind to figure it out on their own.

Likewise, women are weak at respecting. It doesn’t come naturally to them. And that makes sense. That’s part of the curse.

So when God commands wives to respect their husbands, he is saying, I’ve saved you by grace. Don’t keep living like your under the curse.

God commands us, men and women, where we are weak.

But God also commands us according to what our spouse needs.

Men need respect. It builds them up. Encourages them to be a better man.

Women need love. They need to know they are safe. Cared for. Valued. and protected.

To use a metaphor, love and respect are like food.

Respect feeds the man and builds him up into a stronger, better man.

Love feeds the wife and builds her up into a stronger, godlier woman.

We need to feed our spouse what actually feeds them.

In fact, not doing this leads trouble in our marriage.

Let me switch metaphors with a moment. Respect is like Diesel, love is like unleaded gas.

Men think they are feeding their wives by filling them up with Diesel, and wives think they are fueling their husbands by pumping in regular gas.

The only problem is, each of them runs on a different fuel. So we shouldn’t be surprised when the marriage breaks down on the highway.

Say a husband and wife have a disagreement. The husband firmly disagrees and responds gruffly to his wife. He doesn’t call her a name or put her down. He didn’t necessarily respect her, but he didn’t disrespect her either so he thinks all his well.

After all, if a man had talked to him that way he wouldn’t think anything of it because in no way did they disrespect him.

The wife, however has a different opinion. All she sees is that he didn’t love her. He didn’t care about her feelings or opinion. He just shut her down so he could move on with his life.

So what does she do? Snaps back. Shows disrespect. In response the husband sees that disrespect and so withdraws his love as punishment.

If she’s going to treat me like that, I’ll just check out so I don’t have to deal with it, which fosters more disrespect, more withdrawal, and the spiral goes on and on and on.

Well what happened? Neither spouse thought they did something wrong at the beginning. The husband respected and the wife loved.

But the problem is, men and women are different. Men need to love their wives, and wives need to respect their husbands.

So you need to ask yourself how are you feeding your spouse? How are you loving your wife and how are you respecting your husband?

Love

Very briefly, lets talk about love.

Men I want you to remember the two Cs. Communion and Commitment.

First your wife needs communion. She needs your presence. Your relationship. She needs to be with you and know you love being with her.

This is more than just being around. When my son comes up to me and says “Daddy, play?” That doesn’t mean he just wants me to sit in the floor with him.

He wants me to play with him. Engage with him. Commune with him.

That’s what we need to do with our wives and tell her how we value being with her more than anything else.

Jesus laid down his life so that we could have communion with him. That is the same kind of sacrifice we need to make to have communion with our wife.

We can’t just come home, turn on the TV or head to the garage. We might be tired from a long day at work, but we need to sacrifice and commune with our wife.

Second, Commitment. You’re wife needs to know you aren’t going anywhere. That you are in it for the long haul.

You’re not allowed to just check out when things get rough. All that tells her is you wish you were somewhere else, and you would think about leaving if you could.

Now you might be thinking to yourself, I’m not saying that! I wouldn’t just leave and abandon her!

But she doesn’t know that. All she sees is what your saying to her.

And when you don’t love her like Christ loves the church saying, like Christ “I will never leave you or forsake you,” all you do is sow doubt, fear, and anxiety and the soil is already fertile for those things to grow in your wife’s heart.

Men, you need to show your wife communion and commitment. That’s how you feed your wife with love.

Respect

Now what about respect?

Wives, you have no idea how profound of a blessing you can be in your husbands life.

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:13 House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

A godly wife is an inheritance from the Lord to a man.

Outside of Christ, you have the potential to be the greatest blessing in your husband’s life.

But you will never be that blessing, without respecting your husband.

Hear what else the Holy Spirit says.

Proverbs 21:9 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 21:19 It is better to live in a desert land [to be homeless] than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.

Proverbs 27:15-16 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; 16  to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.

A quarrelsome wife is like Chinese water torture, and if she refuses to submit herself, there is nothing you can to about it. Its like trying to grab the wind.

Proverbs 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

A disrespectful wife is like a cancer that eats away at the man until there’s nothing left.

So before we talk about what it means to respect your husband, we first should spend time talking about what it means to disrespect your husband.

This is what the proverbs focus on and this is the normal pattern of the world.

The default is for wives to disrespect their husbands. Well how do they do that?

Respectful vs. Respectable

Now the first thing you might be saying to yourself is but I don’t respect him.

Then in the most loving way possible, let me tell you, you need to repent.

Your husband is not perfect and he will never be perfect. And if he is withering away as a spineless shell of a man, yes he needs to repent and take up the calling God has given him, but you should be asking yourself, “What have I been feeding him?”

Have I honored him? Followed him? Showed a grateful and joyful submission to his leadership? Or am I always getting on to him, nagging, or taking the reins?

Paul says, Let the wife see… That means its on you. Its your responsibility to respect your husband.

At the end of the day we are not talking about your husband being respectable. We are talking about you being respectful, and that is exactly what God commands you to do.

After all, would you feel very loved if your husband waited to love you till you were lovable?

That is selfishness. That is not how we treat one another in Christ. Your husband is worthy of your respect, because God has given him to you as your head, and your respect of your husband honors Christ.

Not to mention, if wives are to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, your respect of your husband might say more about your respect for Christ than the man you married.

Quarrelsome

Are you contentious, angry, or quarrelsome? Let me ask it this way, are you just never happy and impossible to please?

Always finding fault where nothing is ever good enough?

Its better to live in the desert than to be in a house like that.

All that does is tell your husband, You are a failure, and I do not respect you one bit.

Talking Bad

Or what about when your husband’s not around. Do you talk bad about him? Do you disrespect him and complain about him to your friends, sister or mom?

That is wicked. Because you are inviting other people in your life to disrespect him to.

Proverbs says a woman without discretion is like a ring in a pigs snout. Its ugly, unseemly.

Just as a practical rule, men and women, you need to make a rule in your marriage that you will not disparage or talk bad about your spouse.

That you will always respect them, and leave others thinking highly of them.

And if this has been a pattern in your life, I would urge you to repent. Repent to your spouse. Call your mom, sister, whoever, and confess. Say, I did not respect my spouse with you and I’m sorry.

Following

Remember, we said that headship and submission means the husband sacrificially loves, serves and blesses his wife by leading his marriage and family to honor Christ.

To guide the trajectory of his life and his family’s life toward Christ and obedience to him in everything.

Therefore true submission, true respect, looks like you following your husbands lead and helping him to accomplish his task.

To joyfully follow and do everything you can to make sure he succeeds, because his success is your blessing.

So if you want to respect your husband, follow his lead!

And men. You’re wife can’t do this if you aren’t leading. She can’t submit if you give her nothing to submit to. Now I don’t mean you start bossing her around. I mean you start moving your family towards Christ in everything.

And wives, when he does lead, joyfully follow!

Don’t be prickly or difficult when he tries to take initiative in leading your family well.

Don’t nag him to pray with your family. Ask him. I don’t know a man, that doesn’t want to do what his wife asks him to.

Maybe he doesn’t know how to lead a family. But your respect can give him the courage to step out in faith even if it means he might fail.

And when he does fail, don’t make sure he knows it. Instead, encourage him. Say, I’m proud of you and make sure he knows your still behind him no matter what.

Respectful wives build respectable men.

Maybe the best way to start respecting your husband is by having gratitude for the husband you have, and not the one you wished you had.

Your husband may not lead exactly the same way as other men, or exactly the way you want him to.

But if he is trying to lead your family, be thankful for what he does do because God is using him to bless your family.

If you are constantly saying or thinking to yourself how your husband isn’t good enough or how he’s lacking in this or that, its not surprise when you don’t respect him.

All your focusing on is what he’s bad at.

But when you focus on what he’s good at, what he’s taking initiative in, even in small things like bringing your family to church then you will be thankful for your husband and that gratitude will express itself in respect.

Achievements/Abilities

So how do you show this respect? Well if I told the men I want them to remember the two Cs, Communion and Commitment, I want you to remember the two As, Achievements and Abilities.

Every man’s greatest fear is being a failure. Of falling short. Not being good enough.

Men are mission driven. That’s why we like action movies and hobbies where we accomplish something. All of us want to make a dent in this world.

And so the easiest way for you to respect your husband is by telling him how he’s making that dent.

Tell him he’s great at wood working or fishing. How much you appreciate how handy he is around the house.

And you might think, well why would I do that? Remember we feed on different food. I don’t know what to tell you. That stuff builds us up.

Tell your husband how much you appreciate that he brings you to church or plays with the kids.

Tell him you love how funny he is or how smart he is or how you are so grateful for how hard he works.

Achievements and Abilities. That’s your husband’s food and when you tell him those things, that makes him want to be more respectable and gives him the courage to push and try to make a dent in this world, because he knows he won’t lose your respect if he fails.

And it also helps you to be grateful. Valuing your husbands admirable qualities and achievements reminds you that he is a man worthy of your respect and gives you the trust for joyful submission and obedience because you see the good and blessing God has given you in him.

Homework

So I want to leave you with a homework assignment.

Jess and I did this on our anniversary a few weeks back and you might feel stupid at first but I promise you this will be a blessing in your life.

First, if the Holy Spirit has convicted you of anything in this sermon, whether that’s about loving your wife or respecting your husband, don’t go to sleep tonight without repenting to one another.

You might not be able to on the way home with the kids in the car. But find time to repent and pray together that you would have a marriage that honors Christ.

Then I want you to plan a date. Get rid of the kids, and go to dinner, go to coffee, or just get a bottle of wine and sit on the back porch, and husbands, I want you to say five things you love about your wife.

Things that show communion and commitment.

Ways you value you her and you see her as a treasure and great inheritance.

How great of a mom she is. How she builds a great house. How she’s your best friend. All of that.

And Wives, I want you to say five things you respect about your husband.

Five Achievements and Abilities that you love and Admire in him.

His humor. His drive. His work ethic. Whatever you respect and why.

And you can go one at a time or back and forth, but feed your spouse.

Love and respect. Write them down, have a reason why, and maybe a few examples and tell each other.

And you might think, They know all that. I don’t need to tell them. But remember this is food. You know what a cheeseburger tastes like, but knowing and tasting are not the same thing.

And then keep telling each other day after day year after year. One meal doesn’t last a life time. We need to eat every day.

Conclusion

I started this sermon by asking...

What does it mean to be a godly wife?

And as we worked through this sermon we said that a Godly wife is a submissive wife and a submissive wife is a respectful wife.

Godly wives respect their husbands.

May God’s grace and the power of the Holy Spirit bless our church with biblical, godly marriages where husbands love their wives as themselves, and wives respect their husbands.

Let’s Pray

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Scripture Reading

Proverbs 31:10-12; 25-30

An excellent wife who can find?