The Most Important People In Your Life
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Judges 19:11–18 (KJV 1900)
11 And when they were by Jebus, the day was far spent; and the servant said unto his master, Come, I pray thee, and let us turn in into this city of the Jebusites, and lodge in it.
12 And his master said unto him, We will not turn aside hither into the city of a stranger, that is not of the children of Israel; we will pass over to Gibeah.
13 And he said unto his servant, Come, and let us draw near to one of these places to lodge all night, in Gibeah, or in Ramah.
14 And they passed on and went their way; and the sun went down upon them when they were by Gibeah, which belongeth to Benjamin.
15 And they turned aside thither, to go in and to lodge in Gibeah: and when he went in, he sat him down in a street of the city: for there was no man that took them into his house to lodging.
16 And, behold, there came an old man from his work out of the field at even, which was also of mount Ephraim; and he sojourned in Gibeah: but the men of the place were Benjamites.
17 And when he had lifted up his eyes, he saw a wayfaring man in the street of the city: and the old man said, Whither goest thou? and whence comest thou?
18 And he said unto him, We are passing from Beth-lehem-judah toward the side of mount Ephraim; from thence am I: and I went to Beth-lehem-judah, but I am now going to the house of the Lord; and there is no man that receiveth me to house.
22 Now as they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the city, certain sons of Belial, beset the house round about, and beat at the door, and spake to the master of the house, the old man, saying, Bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him.
Start by saying Judges 19-21 is one of the hardest stories of the Bible to understand.
The story itself is beyond troubling.
It is so troubling that I can think of no message preached from this passage that did not dance around several issues...
Rather than talk talk you through the story, I want you to go home and read Judges 19-21 and see what I am talking about. (Youth age and up)
Here’s the story as much as I want to go into.
Levite who has a wife who runs away and cheats on him and then end up living with her parents for four months...
After four months the Levite forgives her and goes to his father in laws to bring her home.
There is this odd story of the father in law detaining them
Finally on the way home with a late start when the servant suggests that rather than stay out in the elements, they find a place to stay in the Jebusite towns.
Israel was to have driven the Jebusites out of the land under Joshua but had not...
The Levite says no, it is not safe or proper to spend the night with the Jebusites...
Let’s go to the Hebrew cities close by and stay there.
They get to Gibeah they stop in the streets and wait...
Under Moses’ Law, the people of Israel were under covenant with the tribe of Levi that they would put up any traveling Levite.
This was not happening.
When it finally happened it was from an old stranger who was a traveler himself, probably renting nearby fields.
Men of Belial: Worthless, good for nothing, wicked men
Beat down the door trying to get at the Levite know him.
KNOW: same word in Gen 19:5 when the men of Sodom wanted to know the Angels in Lot’s home.
The Old Man offers his daughter.
The Levite offers his wife.
She is abused to the badly that she dies from these worthless, good for nothing, wicked men.
The Levites cuts her in pieces and sends them to all the tribes of Israel asking the question; “is this what we have become?”.
Army gathers, battles fought, Benjamin wins the first few battles and is all but wiped out in the end.
Then Israel worries about their actions and devises a plan to provide wives for the men of Benjamin…
All end up at a party where they grab their wives and ride away with them…
Strange story!
***********
Here is the point I want to make: the Levite was hurt the worst in the place he should have been the safest!
In the place that he should have been respected he was abused.
In the place that their should have been no story to tell, was the most horrific story of all.
TO BE CLEAR:
The vast majority of this story, there is NO parallel between it and us.
The Levite was selfish.
The wife was an adulteress.
The people of Gibeah ignored and abused strangers.
What I want to look at is this concept that in what should be a safe place, horrible wrongs can take place!
We have to come to the understanding that -
The most important people in your life are right here in this room!
10 When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take me up.
29 And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.
The safest place in the world should be right here, with these people!
The most important people in your life is right here in this room!
Already talked about family - the most abused ppl in your life.
Let’s turn them into the most protected people in your life!
We have to learn this or we will destroy relationships coming into the church.
1 Blessed is the man That walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor standeth in the way of sinners, Nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
Nor standeth in the way of sinners - block the way of sinners.
How do we do that.
First: There is something that is very special and spiritual about a doorkeeper (usher/hostess)
The right one clears that path and the wrong on slams the doors shut.
I have watched people gravitated to the doors over the years and either they will usher them into the presents of God or the will run interference, keeping them from God.
Second: Our attitude toward each other determines if we are a blocker or a conduit!
The sinner feels that!
35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
We have to love each other!
What if that person is not compatible with me?
Being a good friend is not about trying to find the right person to befriend, rather it’s about being the right friend to a person!
Make it clear: If you are not compatible with another person in the church it is your fault! Become compatible! Change yourself! Become better for their sake!
Our first responsibility is to our brother and sister!
Homework: 1 Cor 13
Read in two different translations
Session Two
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
Ten Axioms for Friendship
First five protect others from you!
1. Always put others first
4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
It’s really simple; everyone else first!
One of the greatest issues in society today is the fact we don’t teach our children to wait.
If we could master this, we would NOT need the other nine!
We live in a selfish world...
2. Be patient
Everyone has bad days, is rude, deserves to have a reality check...
Be patient!
18 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
8 Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh.
12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Give your brother or sister the benefit of the doubt!
If we are not careful, we treat our brother and sisters in the House of God worse than we treat our biological siblings!
Six weeks later we are still in a huff because they said...
…did you see the way the looked at me?
…did you hear what the said to me?
We act like we are supposed to defend ourselves...
Our defense is God’s buisness!
And if God has to get involved in it is is UGLY!
But if we are not offended in the first place, God has nothing to deal with!
Old Country and Western Song: We Bury the Hatchet, and Leave the Handle Sticking Out!
Other times we are all about burring the hatchet, the the heart of our brother or sister!
YOUR BLOCKING THE PATH OF THE SINNER!
3. Be Forgiving
No one said you didn’t deserve to be angry or you had no reason...
But you have a greater reason to get over and past it!
7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
4. Be Honest
We have to be able to be honest with each other.
When you can’t go to your brother or sister and say hey, we need to talk about something that happened the other day then you open the door for a spiritual infection called bitterness.
3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
First why protect yourself?
Ahhh, good question. We will get to that!
The best way to loose a friend is not have the ability to be honest about what is happening in your lives!
If you can learn to handle the hardship of dealing with painful moments together
You will forge a friendship that will outlast any trouble!
Sit down and have a conversation:
This was said...
You did this...
What did you mean by...
I was told that...
If you get agree because of what you were told, your a bad friend!
If they are truly your fried and someone tells you; “Sis. ________ told me that she thinks that you...”
The greatest cure or friendship is gossip!
If you thought that person was a friend then go to them and ask them!
Probably what you are going to find is person who gave you the info is NOT a friend…
1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
Be HONEST and get out of the way!
5. Be Kind
We live in a drought of human kindness!
The majority of conflict would cease if we would just be kind to each other!
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.
Here is where we allow our flesh to pervert things and we don’t just stand in the way of sinners but build barricades...
Ephesians 4:15 (KJV 1900)
15 But speaking the truth in love...
Pastor you just said to be honest!
So I’m just being honest!
You look like a cross between something the cat dragged in and something I scrapped off the bottom of my shoe!
Sorry, I’m not being rude! I’m just speaking the truth in love!
Lier, lier pants on fire!
It may be true but there is not love anywhere!
Put a governor on your mouth and GET OUT OF THE ROAD!
Start paying attention to how ppl respond to what comes out of your mouth!
Start paying attention to how ppl respond to your actions!
You are not a christian if you make a habit of being rude!