Praying When Life Doesn't Seem Fair

NOTE:

This is a manuscript, and not a transcript of this message. The actual presentation of the message differed from the manuscript through the leading of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, it is possible, and even likely that there is material in this manuscript that was not included in the live presentation and that there was additional material in the live presentation that is not included in this manuscript.

Engagement

This morning is going to be my last day of preaching. Once again this week, I have discovered that God seems to have a great sense of humor that He often manifests by testing me in the area that I am going to preach on that week to see if I’m going to actually do what I’m asking all of you to do. And I figure that the best solution to that is to just quit preaching.

This week we’re going to be talking about how to pray when life isn’t fair and earlier this week when I was presented with a couple situations in which someone I love wasn’t treated fairly, I honestly didn’t handle the situation very well. So I guess that I need this message as much or more than any of you. By the way, although it is tempting, I am am actually not going to quit preaching, at least for now.

Tension

It’s not really the main idea we’re going to explore this morning, but I think it’s important to point out that as much as we think fairness is important, we don’t really want God to be fair with us. If he did that, what would be fair for every one of us is to suffer His judgment and wrath because of our sin. Fortunately for all of us, God makes it possible for all of us to experience His mercy and grace through faith in Jesus, rather than fairness.

Still, even though I think we all know that, we still desire to see fairness in this world. And when that doesn’t happen, we tend to question God. That is especially true when we look around and see that those who have rejected Jesus seem to fare much better here on earth than those who have put their faith in Him. Let’s face it, we live in a world that loves to “keep score” and when someone else that we think is less deserving than us seems to prosper more than we do, it’s our nature to question God’s fairness.

Truth

Today, we will see that Psalm 73 provides us with the antidote to that kind of thinking and also shows us how to pray when life seems unfair.

I’m going to approach this Psalm a little differently than I’ve done in the rest of this series. Instead of reading it all at once, we’ll study it section by section.

First, the superscription tells us that Asaph is the author of the Psalm. He was one of three Levites that was assigned by king David to lead worship in the tabernacle and he is the author of a total of 12 Psalms. He begins the psalm like this:

Psalm 73:1 ESV

1 Truly God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.

We see right off the bat that Asaph believes that God exists, and that He is good, especially to those who have a heart that seek after Him. I believe that too, and you probably do, too. But we see in the next section that Asaph’s belief is being challenged.

Psalm 73:2 ESV

2 But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped.

Asaph has a problem. He is ready to throw in the towel and abandon his faith. Remember this is not some pagan, but one of the main worship leaders in Israel. And if he is experiencing these feelings, we shouldn’t be surprised if we feel like that, too, at times.

We see the reason for his feelings in verse 3:

Psalm 73:3 ESV

3 For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

The key word here is “saw”. Asaph looks around at the world around him and realizes that his theology doesn’t seem to be borne out by what he sees. How can God be good when the wicked prosper more than God’s people? In fact, it even goes further than that. The word translated “prosperity” here is the Hebrew word shalom. That word literally means “peace”, but as we’ve talked about before, it is much more than just the absence of conflict. It is wholeness and overall well-being and completion that comes from a personal relationship with God. And from Asaph’s viewpoint, it looks like those who have rejected God experience that more than God’s people.

Asaph goes on to describe what he sees:

Psalm 73:4–12 ESV

4 For they have no pangs until death; their bodies are fat and sleek. 5 They are not in trouble as others are; they are not stricken like the rest of mankind. 6 Therefore pride is their necklace; violence covers them as a garment. 7 Their eyes swell out through fatness; their hearts overflow with follies. 8 They scoff and speak with malice; loftily they threaten oppression. 9 They set their mouths against the heavens, and their tongue struts through the earth. 10 Therefore his people turn back to them, and find no fault in them. 11 And they say, “How can God know? Is there knowledge in the Most High?” 12 Behold, these are the wicked; always at ease, they increase in riches.

We won’t spend a lot of time on this section. Essentially Asaph is describing here how he sees the wicked prospering. What Asaph writes here is probably not a lot different than some of the thoughts that go through our mind when we see how those who have rejected God often have better careers, bigger houses, and fancier cars than we do.

As a result of what he sees, Asaph comes to this conclusion:

Psalm 73:13–15 ESV

13 All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence. 14 For all the day long I have been stricken and rebuked every morning. 15 If I had said, “I will speak thus,” I would have betrayed the generation of your children.

Fortunately, Asaph won’t stay here, but his interim conclusion is that he has wasted his time and energy trying to live a life that is pleasing to God. And my guess is that many of you have had that same thought.

Perhaps some of you kids wonder whether it’s worth being obedient to God when some of your classmates who don’t have newer phones and more expensive gaming systems and seem to be more popular.

Some of you see others getting the promotion you deserved and wonder whether being a good witness for Jesus in the workplace is worth it.

Some of you see how awful your neighbor treats other people, how he uses them to get ahead and get what he wants. And yet he still has all kinds of new toys and you wonder if it’s worth treating people the way the Bible teaches as you drive around in your 14 year old car.

However, we do see some hope for Asaph here. At least he decides not to go around complaining about God to others because he recognizes that he might create unnecessary doubts or cause them to fall away from God.

The turning point for Asaph comes in verses 16-17:

Psalm 73:16–17 ESV

16 But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, 17 until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end.

This is a real turning point for Asaph. Up to this point, he has been focused on what he can see and most of the pronouns he uses are focused on others: them/they/their/these. But from this point forward the focus is on God and the pronouns change mostly to “you”.

There are two key words here: “understand” and “discern”. Asaph is moving beyond just what he perceives with his eyes and seeks to understand what he sees from God’s perspective. And how does he do that? He worships.

As he gathered with his fellow Jews to worship, God changed his perspective. And, hopefully, the same thing happens for us when we gather to worship. As we sing about and sing to God and as we focus on His Word, we begin to see things differently, from His perspective rather than ours.

The change in Asaph’s perspective after he worships is noticeable right away:

Psalm 73:18–20 ESV

18 Truly you set them in slippery places; you make them fall to ruin. 19 How they are destroyed in a moment, swept away utterly by terrors! 20 Like a dream when one awakes, O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms.

Asaph now understands that while the wicked may seem to prosper here on earth, their eternal destiny is not nearly as appealing. All they have here on earth will pass away one day. And, even worse, without faith in Jesus, they will all face God’s wrath.

Asaph now repents of the way he has questioned God:

Psalm 73:21–22 ESV

21 When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, 22 I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you.

Now that he is focused on God, Asaph also sees himself clearly. His envy had caused him to be so bitter that he had become like an animal which is only concerned about immediate gratification. So Asaph confesses that self-pitying, self-centered bitterness.

But maybe even more important than changing his perspective on the wicked, worship also changes Asaph’s perspective on God. Will you read these next four verses out loud with me:

Psalm 73:23–26 ESV

23 Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. 24 You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. 25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Asaph finally realizes that just when he thought God was nowhere to be found, He was closer than he thought.

That truth leads us to our main idea for today:

When life doesn’t seem fair, I need to make sure God is my chief treasure

When he gets to verse 25, Asaph is finally where God wants him to be and where he wants us to be, too. Until we can get to the point of joining Asaph in saying:

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

then we are going to struggle with the idea that life isn’t fair. Until we are satisfied with God alone, and not just with what he can give us, we will continue to doubt God’s goodness to His children. And that will inevitably lead us to focus on the idea that life isn’t fair.

Asaph summarizes everything he has learned in the last two verses of the Psalm:

Psalm 73:27–28 ESV

27 For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. 28 But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.

It might seem that those who are far from God have it made in this world. but ultimately everything they have will perish and they will suffer God’s wrath. But for those who choose to draw near to God, He will be there refuge, not just now, but for eternity.

We have already touched on some of this, but let’s close our time by summarizing what we’ve learned about...

Application

HOW TO PRAY WHEN LIFE DOESN’T SEEM FAIR

Quit playing the comparison game.

Let’s be honest this morning. I think many of us might never admit it, but deep inside we actually look up to those who seem to have it all in this world. We would love to have what they have. But even if we were to obtain that, there would always be someone else who had more. So that’s just a losing game.

The only reason Asaph began to think that life wasn’t fair is because he started looking around and comparing his life to others. And usually when we begin to think life isn’t fair it is because we have done the exact same thing.

Be honest with God

This is a principle that we’ve seen in all four messages from this series. Every one of these psalms has been a raw, brutally honest pouring out of the heart of the author. In each of these four psalms, the author didn’t just pretend everything was okay. They poured out their hearts to God. As we’ve said consistently, God is big enough to take your pain, your anger, your doubts and your questions. So don’t keep them all bottled up inside. Talk to God about them.

Evaluate what I see in light of God’s Word

Asaph allowed his envy to blind him to the truth of who God is. It got him to question whether God really is good and sovereign. And as long as he tried to reason his way out of that confusion apart from the word of God, he just kept hitting his head against the wall. There is no reason to think that the same won’t happen to us.

But as he worshiped and was reminded of God’s Word and the promises of God, he began to see things from a different perspective. He understood what he saw in light of God’s promise to judge sinners and to give grace to those who would put their trust in Him.

In his book Heaven, Randy Alcorn makes this insightful observation that I think summarizes what Asaph learned when he sought to see things from God’s perspective.

The best of life on Earth is a glimpse of Heaven; the worst of life is a glimpse of Hell. For Christians, this present life is the closest they will come to Hell. For unbelievers, it is the closest they will come to Heaven.

That is exactly what the Bible reveals to us. And if we could get in the habit of evaluating everything we see in light of that truth, we’d be a lot less apt to complain that things aren’t fair.

This principle is a lot like the last one that we looked at - it is one that we’ve seen consistently throughout this series. We really can’t underestimate the importance of evaluating what we see around us in light of the Bible. It is only then that we are able to pray effectively about our sin, our fears, our loneliness and things that seem unfair to us.

This is not always and easy thing to do. It takes time and effort. Notice that Asaph said it was a “wearisome task”. But it is absolutely necessary.

So as I pray about the things that seem unfair to me, I need to ask God to help me see them from His perspective as I evaluate them in light of the Bible.

Spend time with God and His people

Ultimately Asaph comes to realize the importance of God’s presence. He writes that it is “good to be near God”. But as important as that is, he also recognizes the need to be with God’s people, too.

Most of us probably tend to think of prayer as an individual activity rather than a corporate one. And most of the time that is true. But what we’ve seen throughout this series is that our individual prayers are impacted by our participation in corporate worship. There is something about gathering together with other believers on a regular basis that has a positive impact on the way that we pray.

Have you noticed that isolation tends to feed self-pity and doubt? I think that is one of the greatest dangers to the church from the COVID pandemic. Some people have been isolated so long that they have become comfortable with that. But that is a really unhealthy place to be. We need other disciples to help remind us of who God is and to help us deal with our doubts and fears and encourage us to hold fast to Him.

The last principle is actually our main idea today:

When life doesn’t seem fair, I need to make sure God is my chief treasure

Asaph finally comes to see that God Himself is enough. God - not what God gives us - is the real treasure. It is impossible to genuinely make God your chief treasure and at the same time complain to Him that life isn’t fair. Next time that you think that life is not fair, I want you to try to pray and tell God that He is your chief treasure, that you value your relationship with Him above all else and then turn around and tell Him it’s not fair that someone else has something that you don’t. I’m pretty sure you’ll find you can’t do that.

Action

In this brief series, we’ve seen how the Psalms can help us to pray when we sin, when we’re afraid, when we feel alone and when life doesn’t seem fair. But, as we said at the beginning of the series, the Psalms help us to pray through a wide range of emotions that go far beyond what we’ve seen over the past four weeks. So what I hope I’ve done during these messages is to just whet your appetite a bit so that you’ll spend some time in the Psalms on a regular basis and use them to help guide your prayers in all kinds of different life situations.

As we’ve seen again this morning, there are some common principles that we’ve seen pop up time after time in this series. Can you help me identify some of them?

[Wait for answers]

Great job, let me just summarize some of those one more time before we close:

Make sure I know God personally

Be honest with God

Look at my circumstances through the lens of the Bible

Don’t neglect corporate worship

My prayer is that you will begin to incorporate these ideas as you pray, especially as you go through the difficult seasons in you life.

Inspiration

Nothing on earth or in heaven is more valuable than God Himself. He is far more valuable than anything material that He will ever give to us. For those who have put their faith in Jesus, not even death can separate us from Him or sever our relationship with Him. That is certainly not fair - it’s way better than that!