The Practice of Forgiveness

Opening Prayer

Let’s open with prayer. If you have a prayer concern, just offer it up out loud in this space. It can be a situation, a need, a family member or friend. When I sense we are finished I will close out our prayer.

Father, you have taught us that we keep all your commandments by loving you and our neighbor: Grant us the grace of your Holy Spirit, that we may be devoted to you with our whole heart, and united to one another with pure affection; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Introduction

We are doing part 2 of a series we began last summer on the Sermon on the Mount called The Jesus Manifesto. A manifesto is a public declaration of belief, policy, and motives. A manifesto outlines what a person or group believes and the kinds of things they will practice. In this respect, the Sermon on the Mount is Jesus’ manifesto. It provides the definitive guide for what he meant when he said, “Come, follow me.”

In part 2 of the series we are looking at the kinds of kingdom practices that will help form us to be mature and thriving disciples of Jesus. One of the things we’re trying to stress is that Spiritual practices are not a means to get you into heaven but to get heaven into you. To make us more like Christ in our thoughts, words, and actions.

Being a pastor has given me lots of opportunities to put into practice what I’m talking about this morning, which is the practice of forgiveness. Several year ago a man started attending our church. He was a great guy, was very committed in his attendance, and he tithed! He was a regular fixture for 6-8 months. And then one day it dawned on me that I hadn’t seen him in a few weeks. His wife was not in good health, so I was concerned there was a health crisis and reached out to him. He kindly informed me that he had left the Vineyard because he didn’t agree with my immigration policy. I didn’t even know I had an immigration policy! For the life of me, I don’t know what I said that offended him, unless it was a passing comment that regardless of how someone got into the country, we have a duty in light of God’s image in them to help meet their needs.

Well, I carried that in my heart for a long time, feeling wounded and offended that he would leave for such an asinine reason. But the truth is, any time someone leaves, I experience the same emotions. It’s frustrating. It hurts. I take it personally, whether they meant it that way or not. And so I’ve had to learn how to get better at releasing people in forgiveness for the sake of my own soul.

I with today’s passage wasn’t there. It’s a hard word. Does Jesus honestly mean what he says? That my ability to be forgiven is tied to my willingness to forgive? Unfortunately, the answer is ‘Yes’. The context this morning has to do with the kind of kingdom Jesus is bringing. It is one where reconciliation is the rule. We have been reconciled to God; therefore, we must be reconciled with one another. So the big idea this morning is that As grace-receiving people we must also be grace-giving people.

The problem of forgiveness then

People in Jesus’ day had a problem with forgiveness. They looked for loopholes in the Law. They sought for ways to put limits on who you had to forgive or how many times you must forgive them.

You might remember when Peter asked Jesus how many times you should forgive your brother who sins against you - up to seven times? As if that was quite a generous conclusion on Peter’s part. I’m sure he expected a pat on the back for his magnanimity. Jesus shocked him by saying, not seven times, but seven times seventy (or 77 depending on your translation). Jesus’ answer wasn’t to define a larger limit - it was to say that forgiveness must be limitless. I’m sure Peter and the others were shocked, and a little bummed, by his answer.

The problem of forgiveness now

Do we still have forgiveness problems today? I think we still look for ways to justify unforgiveness toward those who have hurt us. As I’ve already confessed, I can struggle with unforgiveness toward those who leave the church. It feels like personal rejection, and if I’m not careful I can hang on to bitter feelings.

So we need to pay careful heed to what Jesus says in these passages. Both of them contain the same message.

We are to forgive others.

If we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us.

In verse 12 is a prayer request: forgive us our sins as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us. Clearly, our appeal to God for forgiveness is rooted in our forgiving others. We naturally repel at this because it seems to make God’s forgiveness conditioned on our forgiving others. But this is exactly what Jesus says.

Verse 14-15 repeat this. Again, this jars our Christian sensibilities, but perhaps this is why Jesus says it the way he does: he wants to get our attention so we will see how connected our forgiveness and God’s forgiveness are. This isn’t so we go about forgiving people to earn our forgiveness, but so we will see the importance and utter necessity to be forgiving people. Therefore, we must for ourselves around the practice of forgiveness. This involves two distinct practices or habits.

The practice of giving grace.

The first practice of forgiveness is The practice of giving grace. This practice hinges on our own awareness of how much we’ve been forgiven.

You may remember the parable Jesus told of the Unforgiving Servant. A servant owed his master $100 million. I’m sure if any of us owed that much we’d be utterly unable to pay, and this was the situation this servant found himself when the master called him in to collect his accounts. The servant fell on his face and begged for more time and mercy and he would try and pay back everything. The master was moved with compassion and completely forgave the debt.

So the servant went away rejoicing in his good fortune, and happened upon a friend who owed him $50. He started choking his friend and demanded to be paid back what was owed. His friend fell at his feet and begged for more time and mercy and he would pay him back. But the servant was unwilling to forgive the debt and have his friend arrested.

When the master discovered this he was infuriated. “Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart. (Matthew 18:32–35, NRSV)”

Even in this story we see that forgiveness is blocked by unforgiveness. This makes sense when we understand that God’s kingdom that we have been invited into is one of reconciliation. We are forgiven and reconciled to God in Christ. We are to forgive and be reconciled to our brothers and sisters.

As grace-receiving people we must also be grace-giving people.

The practice of receiving grace.

The next practice of forgiveness is even harder. It is The practice of receiving grace. This practice hinges on our own willingness to admit when we are wrong and seek out the one we have hurt to ask for forgiveness. The Bible’s word for this is “confession”.

“So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23–24, NRSV)

We see here that we have the obligation to seek reconciliation with those we may have wronged - even if it was done unintentionally. To go and confess our wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness.

The act of confession holds incredible power. A couple of weeks ago Julie and I went on a retreat for a few days to a monastery outside Eureka Springs. We spent a couple of days praying at set times with the monks, and enjoyed some quiet and solitude. I enjoyed the times of set prayer where we would gather as we heard the chapel bell ring. But one service had a significant impact. At a point during the prayers the room became silent. And then, one by one, various people living in that community would make their way to the alter. There they knelt, and then the most beautiful thing happened. They confessed their sins to God and to their community. “I confess to you Lord and to my brothers and sisters that...” The vulnerability was incredible. But the most powerful moment was after their confession, the community would announce their absolution. “In the name of Jesus, your sins are forgiven.”

What an amazing gift to receive! To hear and be reminded from the mouth of a brother or sister the words that Jesus speaks over us when we confess our sins to him. “You sins are forgiven.”

Confession is powerful because:

It exposes our sin to the light, thereby breaking its power of sin.

Hear the words of absolution then liberates us from the shame of sin.

“Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. (James 5:16, NRSV)”

As grace-receiving people we must also be grace-giving people.

Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness is hard - especially when you feel justified to hold onto it. Here is where we must trust that Jesus knows what he’s talking about. That unforgiveness isn’t good for your soul. That it blocks God’s flow of forgiveness toward you. That it runs contrary to the reconciling nature of the kingdom Jesus is bringing.

But the good news is that, in Christ, you can forgive and you can seek forgiveness. The HS gives you his grace and power for this. You can go to the person who wronged you and release them in forgiveness. And whether they accept it or not, you walk away a free person. You can go to the person who you have wronged and seek their forgiveness. And even if they withhold it, you will walk away forgiven by your Father.

Practice being a grace-receiving person.

Practice being a grace-giving person.

Because grace-receiving people and grace-giving people are reconciled people. This is the path to where you want to be, which is a truly free person. Amen.

Communion

Paul told the Corinthians that when taking Communion they should examine themselves so as not to eat it in an unworthy way. The unworthy way had to do with how some in the body were relating to others. The meal we eat today is a meal that celebrates our reconciliation with God through the saving acts of Jesus in his life, death, and resurrection. It is appropriate that before we eat it, we leave this gift on the alter and make amends with those who have something against us. So before you come receive this morning, if you are aware of a broken relationship with someone in this body, go first and seek forgiveness and reconciliation. Maybe you hold a grudge against someone that they don’t even know about. Go confess to them and be reconciled. Someone did this to me recently, and it felt really good! If the person you need to reconcile with isn’t here, then before you come receive the meal of reconciliation, commit to the Lord that you will seek reconciliation with that person.

And so we are bold to pray...

The Lords Prayer

Words of Institution