Friendship, Jealousy and Integrity

QUESTION: What is your response to fear in the face of loss? (Loss of position, loss of relationship, loss of finances, loss of possessions loss of control. etc.)

Friendships

1 Samuel 18:1–4 NKJV

1 Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 Saul took him that day, and would not let him go home to his father’s house anymore. 3 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt.

Old Testament IV: Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1–2 Samuel The Soul Is Free

THE SOUL IS FREE. GREGORY THAUMATURGUS: Jonathan was not knit to David as a whole, but his “soul,” the higher parts, which are not cut off when the apparent and visible elements have been cut off from a person and which will not be coerced by any means

Friendships are so precious because there is an organic and free element to them. We are free to choose our friends.

Two swords in one day

Received the sword of Goliath as a symbol of victory and valor.

Received the sword of Jonathan, which is unique for the prince and heir to the throne.

Jealousy and integrity

The unraveling of Saul out of Jealousy fueled by the fear of loss

1 Samuel 18:5–9 NKJV

5 So David went out wherever Saul sent him, and behaved wisely. And Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants. 6 Now it had happened as they were coming home, when David was returning from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women had come out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy, and with musical instruments. 7 So the women sang as they danced, and said: “Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands.” 8 Then Saul was very angry, and the saying displeased him; and he said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed only thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?” 9 So Saul eyed David from that day forward.

Dealing with Jealousy/targeted attacks

QUESTION: Reflect on a time when you were the recipient of malicious attacks…How did you respond?

From this point forward Saul become increasingly obsessed with disposing of David

Direct attempts/attacks

spear

Indirect means humiliation

promising the his eldest daughter in marriage and then marrying her off to someone else on the wedding day

Being set up to fail

Saul gives David his younger daughter Michal at the cost of 100 foreskins

David’s response to the attacks of Saul

to live with integrity

1 Samuel 18:14-15

1 Samuel 18:14–15 NKJV

14 And David behaved wisely in all his ways, and the Lord was with him. 15 Therefore, when Saul saw that he behaved very wisely, he was afraid of him.

1 Samuel 18:29-30

1 Samuel 18:29–30 NKJV

29 and Saul was still more afraid of David. So Saul became David’s enemy continually. 30 Then the princes of the Philistines went out to war. And so it was, whenever they went out, that David behaved more wisely than all the servants of Saul, so that his name became highly esteemed.

In the face of attacks both direct and indirect we need to navigate them with our integrity in mind

We don’t attack back

Maintain composure and know that God will avenge when needed and when appropriate

Work extra hard

Qualities of a good friend

As things intensified for David he would need the help of Jonathan to navigate the situation. It was getting hard for David to perform his deities for the king.

1 Samuel 19:4–6 NKJV

4 Thus Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father, and said to him, “Let not the king sin against his servant, against David, because he has not sinned against you, and because his works have been very good toward you. 5 For he took his life in his hands and killed the Philistine, and the Lord brought about a great deliverance for all Israel. You saw it and rejoiced. Why then will you sin against innocent blood, to kill David without a cause?” 6 So Saul heeded the voice of Jonathan, and Saul swore, “As the Lord lives, he shall not be killed.”

Jonathan, manifests his love for David in the sacrifices he makes for him.

When someone sacrifices for us in our time of need it shows us the level of commitment they have to the relationship.

We have all been alarmed of those who do stand by us in our time of need and those who leave us.

It’s important for us to also remember that we show our commitment to others through the sacrifices we make for them.

Relationships are never easy.

None of us can navigate life alone, at some point in time we will need the help of others.

The caveat is to know that while friends can stand up for you we must always remember that they are not our delivers.

Summarizing the rest of Chapter 19

The peace between Saul and David is short lived

The distressing spirit comes back and David began to play again....Spear

Saul seeks to kill David in his home but his wife, Michal, helps him escape and then puts a dummy in the bed to fool Saul and his men.

Saul eventually comes to the house himself and realizes David has escaped

1 Samuel 19:17

1 Samuel 19:17 NKJV

17 Then Saul said to Michal, “Why have you deceived me like this, and sent my enemy away, so that he has escaped?” And Michal answered Saul, “He said to me, ‘Let me go! Why should I kill you?’ ”

David runs to Samuel for help in Ramah and they both go to Naioth

Very interesting scene where Samuel is leading a group of prophets who are prophesying and 3 successive groups of Saul's messengers come in search of David but end up prophesying. Then Saul himself comes and he begins prophesying, resulting in the halting of his search for David.

Friendship and loyalty

While friendship will all require sacrifice, Loyalty in a friendship raises the steaks for what can be lost.

QUESTION: What is the difference between loyalty and sacrifice?

1 Samuel 20:1–4 NKJV

1 Then David fled from Naioth in Ramah, and went and said to Jonathan, “What have I done? What is my iniquity, and what is my sin before your father, that he seeks my life?” 2 So Jonathan said to him, “By no means! You shall not die! Indeed, my father will do nothing either great or small without first telling me. And why should my father hide this thing from me? It is not so!” 3 Then David took an oath again, and said, “Your father certainly knows that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said, ‘Do not let Jonathan know this, lest he be grieved.’ But truly, as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death.” 4 So Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you yourself desire, I will do it for you.”

Summarize the situation of David and the feast

1 Samuel 20:30–34 NKJV

30 Then Saul’s anger was aroused against Jonathan, and he said to him, “You son of a perverse, rebellious woman! Do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness? 31 For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, you shall not be established, nor your kingdom. Now therefore, send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die.” 32 And Jonathan answered Saul his father, and said to him, “Why should he be killed? What has he done?” 33 Then Saul cast a spear at him to kill him, by which Jonathan knew that it was determined by his father to kill David. 34 So Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger, and ate no food the second day of the month, for he was grieved for David, because his father had treated him shamefully.

Loyalty sees no end to the sacrifices that can be made, even until death.

Next week David on the run from Saul (1 Samuel 24-28)

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