Brandon & Nicole's Wedding

I) Prelude

A) Have congregation stand as Nicole enters

IV) Giving of the BRIDE

V) Welcome

A) Friends, we come together in this place to share with Brandon and Nicole at a most important moment and time in their lives. Marriage was instituted by God in the Garden of Eden when He saw that it was not good for man to be alone. Christ beautified marriage with His presence in Cana of Galilee when He wrought His first miracle. It is commended by the Apostle Paul who likened it to the holy union which exists between Christ and His Church, in which our Lord Jesus is called the Bridegroom and His Church, the Bride.

VI) Prayer

A) Our Father in heaven, Creator, Savior, and Designer of marriage, we turn to you this afternoon, asking that you be glorified by what takes place. That this ceremony would honor you, and reflect the seriousness of the vows to be spoken. Might this service be a reminder to us who have spoken similar vows to our spouses in the past. Might it be instructive to those yet considering such a commitment in their future. Might this ceremony be a fitting beginning for Brandon and Nicole as they commit themselves before this company to pursue a Christ-centered life together. We ask it in Jesus' name, Amen.

B) You may be seated.

Sermon Remarks

A) We have been invited to hear Brandon and Nicole covenant together, as they face the future together as husband and wife. Brandon and Nicole, you must recognize that this covenant is more than a legal contract. This is a bond of union made in heaven. It is to be entered into with reverence. You are about to assume mutual relationships and responsibilities and to promise undying devotions. Nothing is easier than saying words, nothing harder than living them day by day

B) Christian Marriage is a COVENANT and not a Contract

1) The concept of covenant then, is a unilateral, irrevocable, in-dissolvable commitment valid at least until death. Covenant does not depend upon the performance of either party. Covenant is a unilateral commitment made to another party in the presence of God and is independent of the performance of the other party.

2) The concept of contract, on the other hand, is an entirely different concept. A contract is a bilateral agreement between two parties totally dependent upon performance of the agreement. Under a contract, if one party fails to perform according to the contract, the other party has no obligation to perform either and is no longer bound by the terms of the contract.

(a) This is not the case under a covenant which is totally independent of performance and is irrevocable. A covenant was simply not broken, and if it ever were, the penalty was death.

(i) Psalm 89:34 (ASV) 34 My covenant will I not break, Nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips.

C) MARRIAGE is to be Honorable

1) Hebrews 13:4 (NLT) 4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

(a) We often joke about the marriage act.

(i) Tying the knot

(ii) An acquaintance of mine used to refer weddings as funerals.

(b) Today people don’t consider the marriage act as honorable.

(c) They don’t see it as a binding act till death doth part, but till we get tired of each other.

(d) God’s plan for a man and a woman to become one flesh in marriage for a lifetime of love together is still the best plan.

(i) Genesis 2:24 (GW) “That is why a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

(f) Marriage is an honorable institution and must be honored by all men. Yet man has disregarded & corrupted this institution in many ways – same-sex marriage is one example. As people are engaged in discussions about same-sex marriage, it is important for Christians to be prepared to teach & defend the truth on this issue.

(g) The definition of marriage has become very blurred in our society

2) Defining Marriage

(a) Defined by God; cannot be redefined by man – God instituted it in the beginning

(i) Genesis 2:18-25 (ASV) 18 And Jehovah God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him. 19 And out of the ground Jehovah God formed every beast of the field, and every bird of the heavens; and brought them unto the man to see what he would call them: and whatsoever the man called every living creature, that was the name thereof. 20 And the man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the heavens, and to every beast of the field; but for man there was not found a help meet for him. 21 And Jehovah God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof: 22 and the rib, which Jehovah God had taken from the man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

(b) He is witness to the covenant

(i) Malachi 2:14 (NLT) 14 You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.

(c) He binds people in marriage

(i) Matthew 19:6 (ASV) 6 So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

(d) God’s definition of marriage: one man & one woman for life – from the beginning, unchanging

(i) Matthew 19:4-8 (NLT) 4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ 5 And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” 7 “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked. 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended.

D) Christian Marriage is built on INTERDEPENDENCE and not on Independence

1) 1 Corinthians 11:11-12 (NLT) 11 But among the Lord’s people, women are not independent of men, and men are not independent of women. 12 For although the first woman came from man, every other man was born from a woman, and everything comes from God.

(i) Marriage is meant TO SERVE ONE ANOTHER and not To be Served by the other

(ii) Ephesians 5:21-33 (NLT) 21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 For wives, this means submit your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

(a) Someone said that Adam and Eve had the world's only perfect marriage. She couldn't talk about the man she might have married and he couldn't complain that his mother was a better cook. 1000 Windows: A Speaker's Sourcebook of Illustrations.

(b) Brandon and Nicole take on the heart of a servant in your roles as husband and wife.

(a) It’s not always easy

(b) Philippians 2:3-8 (NLT) 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. 6 Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. 7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, 8 he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

(c) The University of California, Berkeley studied how couples fight and resolve marital disagreements. They analyzed the conversations of 154 middle-aged and older couples as they discussed the conflicts in their marriage. They discovered that couples who use the words “we” and “our” have happier marriages than those who usually use the words “I” and “his” or “her.” --The Week, February 19, 2010, p. 22 Illustration by Jim L. Wilson

(d) Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

E) I like what Tertullian wrote in the third century A.D.,:

Beautiful the marriage of Christians, two who are one in hope, one in desire, one in the way of life they follow, one in the religion they practice.

They are both servants of the same Master. Nothing divides them either in flesh or spirit.

They are two in one flesh, and where there is one flesh there is also one spirit.

They pray together, they worship together; instructing one another, strengthening one another.

Side by side they visit God’s church; side by side they face difficulties and persecution, share their consolations.

They have no secrets from one another; they never bring sorrows to each other’s hearts.

Unembarrassed they visit the sick and assist the needy. They give alms without anxiety.

Psalms and hymns they sing. Hearing and seeing this Christ rejoices. To such as these He gives His peace.

Where there are two together, there also He is present; and where He is, there evil is not.

A good marriage is not one where perfection reigns: it is a relationship where a healthy perspective overlooks a multitude of “unresolvables.” James C. Dobson (1936– )

Three Things I want to leave with you

Love

New Living Translation Chapter 13

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

2. Communication

10,000 Sermon Illustrations (Average Communication in Marriage)

Average Communication in Marriage Married couples spend an average of 27.5 minutes per week talking to each other, according to Ray Bridwhistell, speech communication expert.

I read a story about a couple who celebrated their fiftieth wedding. They were in their seventies. Ted, the husband, had lost much of his hearing during this time. And yet they were still getting along together and celebrating this great anniversary. Their family came from all over and enjoyed celebrating together through the mid morning into the afternoon. Finally, toward sundown, all the family went home. Bessie and Ted decided to walk out on the front porch and sit down on the swing and watch the sunset. The old gentleman pulled his tie loose and leaned back and didn't say much. Bessie looked at him somewhat in wonder and said to him, “You know, Ted, I'm real proud of you.”The old gentleman turned and looked at her rather quizzically and after a moment said, with a puzzled look on his face, “Well, Bessie, I'm real tired of you too!”

3. Forgiveness

Forgiveness costs. Especially in marriage when it means accepting instead of demanding repayment for the wrong done; where it means releasing the other instead of exacting revenge; where it means reaching out in love instead of relinquishing resentments.

It costs to forgive...Stated psychologically, forgiveness takes place when the person who was offended and justly angered by the offender bears his own anger, and lets the other go free.

A) TO BOTH: Do you believe that matrimony is an ordinance instituted of God, and confirmed and sanctioned by Jesus Christ, and that you must enter upon it in the fear of GOD?

1) Each answer: I do!

B) TO THE GROOM: Do you confess and declare that you are unmarried, and free from all other marriage relationships and engagements whatsoever?

1) Answer: I am!

(a) REPEAT WITH BRIDE

IX) Marriage Vows

A) Brandon, will you, in the presence of God and these witnesses, take Nicole, the sister by your side, to be your wedded wife; will you love and cherish her, provide and care for her in health and sickness, prosperity and adversity, exercise patience, kindness and forbearance toward her, live with her in peace as becoming a faithful Christian husband; and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you shall live?

1) ANSWER: I will!

B) Nicole, will you, in the presence of God and these witnesses, take Brandon, the brother by your side, to be your wedded husband; will you love and cherish him in health and sickness, prosperity and adversity, share with him the joys and sorrows of life, exercise patience, kindness and forbearance toward him, and live with him in peace as becoming a faithful Christian wife; and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him as long as you shall live?

1) ANSWER: I will!

Shawn will do the ring ceremony

C) Brandon and Nicole; take each other’s right hand

1) PRAYER OF BLESSSING: The GOD of Abraham, the GOD of Isaac, and the GOD of Jacob be with you and bless this union abundantly, through Jesus Christ our Lord, and what God hath joined together let no man put asunder. Go forth as husband and wife, live in peace, fear God and keep His commandments. AMEN

2) In as much as you have each pledged to the other your lifelong commitment, love, and devotion, by the authority committed to me as a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and according to the laws of the State of Indiana, I now declare Brandon and Nicole are husband and wife, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

3) And what God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.

XIII) Kissing of Bride

Instructions and Prayer for the food

XIV) Presentation

A) Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to be the first to introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Brandon Eicher

XV) Recessional