Wedding Ceremony (Ephesians 4:32)

1. Seating of the Grandparents (Song: ___________)

Seating of the Groom’s Grandmother (Escorted by _________)

Seating of the Bride’s Grandmother (Escorted by _________)

2. Seating of the Parents (Song: _____________)

Seating of the Groom’s Parents (Escorted by _________)

Seating of the Bride’s Mother (Escorted by _________)

Pastor Mike will go center stage with Mitchell

3. Bridal Processional (Song: ___________)

Wedding party enters down center isle (ending with Matron of Honor and Best Man)

Flower Girl and Ring Bearer enter.

4. Wedding March (Song: ____________)

Pastor Mike will announce “All Rise”

Mason and Father will enter.

5. Opening Remark/Prayer (or called Invocation)

“We are gathered here today in the sight of God, and the presence of friends and loved ones, to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments. We give recognition and worth to the wonderful union that God has created called marriage, and to add our blessing and best wishes upon this new couple.

Mitchell and Mason, I want you to take note off and look around for just a second at all the people who have come here today in support of you. These are the people that have cared for you, encouraged you, helped you grow. They’ve prayed for you, joked with you and likely about you, there are people here that have sometimes simply put up with you because they love you. But all have come here today because you have in some small way or another impacted their life and they today want to show you their appreciation of that and support you again in this great decision of marriage. What a privilege and blessing to have these kind of relationships in our lives. This is what God intended to be so and to Him be the glory.

I remind you audience… that though you have come to wish Mitch and Mason a joyful marriage, you also have responsibility here as well.

That is the responsibility of worshipper and witnesser...

1. Worshipper:

My hope is that Mitchell and Mason don’t desire to be the center focus of all the festivities today. I hope that the aim here is God. For all of us, that He would be praised. Without God, there is no marriage. Without God, there is no love.

1 John 4:7 ESV

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Without God, there can be no real union. He is the author and perfecter of not only our faith but also our marriages. So today, we come not to only celebrate this joining of two people, but we come to worship that God that saw fit to make this possible and to praise His name for His provision.

2. Witnesses:

The Word of God tells us that we need to guard each one’s integrity and also to hold each other accountable to the decisions we make to protect one another. Marriage is holy covenant. A powerful promise before God. God created marriage in so many ways to represents our relationship with Christ and therefore we should treat it with the utmost care and responsibility, and especially in today’s culture, we need to guard it’s sanctity because God has told us so. Those gathered here, hold true and fast to your commitment. That you will do your best to strengthen, encourage, and protect this marriage as witnesses of it today.

Properly understood, we are all worshipping witnesses at this wedding. Just like in the new testament when Jesus was invited to that first century wedding, let’s invite Him to be the central figure in this worship service.

Let’s pray.

“Our Father, maker, and sustainer of marriage, holy, holy, holy is your name. Jesus Christ, may you be magnified. We acknowledge you as Lord and honor you as the center of this wedding ceremony and worship service. We thank you for the gift of marriage, for the beauty of intimate companionship that we can experience in our marriages.

Thank you for this taste of your great unconditional love for us.

May the vows being stated today by Mitchell and Mason reflect uniquely to the world your wonderful love to us and your saving grace that can make us whole. Jesus, we ask and we trust that you to do your work in making these two lives one. This we ask in your name, Amen.”

6. Giving Away of the Bride

Mark 10:6–8 ESV

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.

Today, we have the privilege to witness this joining together, this uniting as one, however, before this is to occur, scripture states a man or woman must leave the care and the protection of his or her father and mother, and give it over to their spouse.

So I ask, who gives this woman to be married to this man?

Father of the Bride answers: “I do, Her mother and I.”

(Mitch will then go down and take Mason by the arm)

“Audience, you may now be seated.”

(The two will come forward and stand in front of Pastor Mike, arm in arm- facing me)

7. Message

Let me start with this. I heard about a couple who eagerly went to their local courthouse to get their marriage license. When they arrived, they were met by a sign on the door which said: “Out to lunch. Be back at 1 o’clock. Last chance to think it over.”

Mitch and Mason, I know you have thought through of this this already. You’ve listened and prepared for this day, and I’m quite confident that you are ready. You’ve heard alot of advice from me. Some has been good, some, for you especially Mitch, has been really bad (I haven’t always been the best of big brothers). But today, it would be my honor to share with you some really good advice (brotherly advice). It’s not good because it comes from my mouth, or that it is in some way great wisdom that I have conjured up. It’s great advice because of the source of where it comes from, the never-failing Word of God. I guarantee that if you will heed these words, then your marriage will find great success and be a marriage honorable to our Savior and King. But you must understand this important truth of marriage: sinners live there. Because of that, you’re going to need all of God’s goodness, His guidance, and His grace. So heed these words.

Mitch, I’m gonna make it easy on you. 3 simple words, and if you struggle to remember them. I’m sure Mason can help you out. She has shown to have a super great memory! Especially during our marriage counseling. These words come from Ephesians 4:32.

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

This short verse has been called the most meaningful marriage text ever because it establishes how to live with one another in the context of the marriage covenant.

The phrase, “one another” is stated twice in this short verse. This shows the importance of your new relationship. You’re in this together. You’re on the same team. You’re best friends. You’re partners in ministry. You’re brother and sister in Christ. And, you’re about to become husband and wife.

In verse 31, we’re told to put away six vices – “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” These will destroy your marriage, but in verse 32, we’re urged to embrace three virtues.

• Give

• Live

• Forgive

The first virtue is give – give kindness when the other is selfish.

Listen again to the first phrase: “Be kind to one another…” According to a forty-year study of married couples – both “the masters” (the ones that did well) and “the disasters” (the fallen apart marriages) – the difference between a glad marriage and a bad marriage can be boiled down to one word – kindness- portrayed in the marriage.

The word “kind” means to be “gracious, good, and gentle.” The tense indicates you’re to “keep on becoming kind”. It’s not a one time act, but a command to grow in how you are kind. Kindness is love shown in the little things of life. It refers to cutting each other slack and being nice to each other. 1 Corinthians 13:4 describes love “as patient and kind.” Romans 12:10 captures how to give kindness, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

I know how competitive you two are. In marriage, being competitive against each other can sometimes be a very bad thing. Arguments and frustrations often erupt from trying to best the other person. Why, because in competition, the one the loses often feels defeated. But here in this verse, Romans 12:10, we are instructed to “outdo/compete against one another” in showing kindness. The result is that both feel appreciated, loved, and cared for. So go for it, not out of a sense of pride, but out of a sense of love and devotion to one another. Get so good at doing kind things that it doesn’t shock you’re spouse when you actually do it. I have a friend who’s made it his goal that his wife would stop thanking him for doing the dishes. Not that she isn’t grateful, but that it wasn’t so foreign a thing, but that he was so good at showing his wife kindness, that kindness was the norm, not just a one time act.

Remember, the grass is always greener where you water it. Do that something extra kind for each other every day, not because you “have to” but because you get to. We are to give expecting nothing in return, but you know what we gain, we gain all the joys of following in footsteps of Christ & being like Him.

Mitch and Mason your first word is give – give kindness to one another, even when the other is being selfish.

Your second word is live – live with tenderness when the other is suffering.

In the Bible, “tenderhearted” expresses a deep emotional response in your gut. Also translated as “compassionate,” the idea is to be filled with tender mercy when the other is going through terrible misery. We are told in Colossians that you’re to put on “compassionate hearts.” God not only calls you to kind actions, but to wear compassionate attitudes.

Studies have found the most common problem in “disaster” marriages, is contempt. A compassionate heart leads to kindness, while a heart filled with contempt leads to conflict.

To grow in compassionate kindness, someone has suggested couples ask each other three questions often:

• “What can I do to help you?”

• “How can I make your life easier?”

• “How can I be a better husband to you?” or “How can I be a better wife to you?” That should be a question asked often. And it’s obedient to scripture.

Look at Philippians 2

Philippians 2:3–4 ESV

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Simply put, put yourselves in your spouse’s shoes so you feel their agony, their tiredness, their distress, their worry, their troubles in your own gut. Mitch when Mason is sad, weep with her. Mason, when Mitch is hurt, hurt with him. Christ has done that with us countless times. This isn’t an unmanly virtue. It’s a godly virtue. Tenderhearted.

1 Peter 3:8 ESV

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

This means… When you come home from work or your husband comes home from work, don’t just expect the other to serve you because you’re tired. See how their day was. Come ready to serve and meet their needs. Be compassionate.

Give kindness when the other is selfish.

Live tenderly when the other is suffering.

Your third word is forgive – forgive when the other sins.

After giving kindness and living with tenderness, make sure you’re “forgiving one other” because you’ll discover that there are a lot of things to forgive in the other person. You may think you know your soon to be spouse well, but things will come up that you never knew about. Be ready to forgive. But also, you’ll have a lot of things that you need to ask forgiveness for. Marriage is certainly a great revealer of our character.

The Bible uses several different words to convey the concept of forgiveness. One word means “to blot out.” Another common Hebrew expression means “to lift and carry away,” speaking of the complete removal of our sins, it also means “to release from debt,” indicating the penalty has been paid. It means “to show grace to one who has sinned greatly,” implying the undeserved nature to forgiveness.

Notice “forgiving” is in the present tense and implies a continuous action. It too is not just a one-time event but as you’ll discover, forgiving is something you’ll need to embrace again and again.

We all struggle with forgiveness because it doesn’t feel “fair” at times. When we’re wronged, it’s natural to want to be paid back because we want the other to suffer for what they said or did to us. C.S. Lewis had some great insight when he said, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.”

Marriage is hard because it involves the union of two sinners. But I really like what Ruth Graham used to say. She said “a good marriage is made up of two forgivers.”

Forgiveness means surrendering your right to hurt the other for hurting you. You can focus on each other’s faults and failures, or you can forgive.

When you do sin against one another, instead of simply saying, “I’m sorry” say, “I was wrong. I sinned against you. Please forgive me.” There’s a world of difference between the two. When you wrong one another, ask for forgiveness; don’t just feel bad about what you did by offering an easy, “I’m sorry.”

When you’re the one wronged, don’t say, “It’s no big deal” or “Don’t worry about it.” It is a big deal, it is sin. We are told in the Bible to release the other from the debt of ever having to pay you back. The biblical response is to say and mean these words, “I forgive you.”

I know I’m spending more time on the importance of forgiving, but it’s because none of us want your marriage to fracture. If you understand forgiveness well, you’re marriage will thrive. Here are three other quick facets of forgiveness.

Ephesians 4:26-27: “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. And do not give the devil a foothold.” We must make a vow to not ever go to bed angry. I’ve got a statement for you that I hope will stick. “Forgive your mate or stay up late.”

Don’t get “historical” by bringing up past wrongs. I heard about a husband and wife who literally walked around the house with ledger books to record every wrong their spouse did. It wasn’t until they threw these records away that they were able to move toward intimacy. According to 1 Corinthians 13:5, love “keeps no record of wrongs.”

It’s better to be reconciled than to be right. Or, as one book title puts it, “You can be right, or you can be married!” James 3:18 says, “And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”

Gospel

I have some bad news. On your own, you will struggle to give kindness, to live with tenderness, and to forgive each other. But here’s the good news. Because both of you have repented and received Jesus Christ, He has showered you with His kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness.

Put plainly, you can give kindness because He’s given kindness to you. You can live tenderly toward the other because He’s tender toward you. And you can forgive because you’ve been forgiven. Listen to the last phrase of Ephesians 4:32: “…as God in Christ forgave you.”

Listen, your spouse is not your Savior who will satisfy all your needs; your spouse is a sinner who will sin against you. Our culture communicates if we find the right person, we’ll be happy. If our marriage is our ultimate fulfillment, we will be disappointed time and time again. When we understand that Christ is our fulfillment, and that are spouse is a sinner saved by grace and still a work in progress like we are. It will change our marriage. That is why forgiveness is so important. Your model for forgiveness is Christ Himself. Because you have been forgiven, and only because you’ve been forgiven, you’ll be able to forgive each other.

The reason marriage is difficult and yet delightful is because it reflects the Gospel. At its core, the gospel reminds us we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe, and at the same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. We get that to see a glimpse of that in a godly marriage that forgives.

Family and friends, Mitch and Mason long for each of you to respond to the kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness that Jesus offers. Believe that Jesus died for you, repent of your sins, and receive Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and He will be the ultimate fulfillment of your life and bring you much joy.

This week I came across a helpful quote about love: “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” Together, as you live, give, and forgive, God will use both of you for His purposes as you proclaim the gospel through your marriage, in representing His love! And may Ephesians 4:32 become the motto of your marriage:

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

8. Vows

As we move into the time of sharing our vows, I know that you have already taken the time to recite your personal vows before the ceremony. That is wonderful. But I want to remind you of the importance of the words you are going to share, as you pronounce your vows publically. Malachi 2:14 tells us that the Lord of Hosts, the God of Angel armies, is the ultimate witness of your vows… “Because the LORD is acting as witness between you and the wife of your youth...” He is every watching and holding you to it.

Mitch and Mason, it is for this reason we do not take our vows lightly. Ecclesiates 5:4-6 says, “When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has not pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.”

As I read these statements, think carefully what is being said, and purpose in your heart to fulfill these. Those watching, I hope that you too will hear these things and reaffirm your own vows to each other.

(Turn and face each other)

Mitchell, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy state of marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

(I WILL)

Mason, will you have this man to be your wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy state of marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

(I WILL)

Now we will the exchange vows. These vows are all the things that we looked at through scripture in regards to you and your part in marriage. Truths that God expects of you and that you have claimed you would hold too.

So Mitchell, repeat after me...

I, Mitchell, take you, Mason, to be my wife.

I commit to love you as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25)

I will lead you by serving you (Mark 10:45)

I will encourage you to treasure Christ above everything else in this world (Philippians 3:1-10)

I will forgive you as Christ has forgiven me (Matthew 6:9-15)

I will care for you with humility, kindness, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12-17)

I will please you by putting your interests above my own (Philippians 2:1-11)

I will honor you with my purity (Hebrews 13:4)

I will join with you in the mission God has entrusted to us (Psalm 67; Matthew 28:18-20)

I will sacrifice my life for your sake (1 John 3:16-18)

I will cherish you as a child of God (Galatians 4:4-8)

And by the grace of God, I will be faithful to this covenant as long as we both shall live (Genesis 2:22-24)

MASON, would you now repeat after me.

I Mason, take you, Mitchell, to be my husband.

I commit to love you as the church loves Christ (Ephesians 5:23)

I will trust you by submitting to you (Ephesians 5:24)

I will encourage you to treasure Christ above everything else in this world (Philippians 3:1-10)

I will forgive you as Christ has forgiven me (Matthew 6:9-15)

I will care for you with humility, kindness, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12-17)

I will please you by putting your interests above my own (Philippians 2:1-11)

I will honor you with my purity (Hebrews 13:4)

I will join with you in the mission God has entrusted to us (Psalm 67; Matthew 28:18-20)

I will sacrifice my life for your sake (1 John 3:16-18)

I will cherish you as a child of God (Galatians 4:4-8)

And by the grace of God, I will be faithful to this covenant as long as we both shall live (Genesis 2:22-24)

9. Exchange of Rings

The covenant commitment you are making before God, and in front of your family and friends, can best be symbolized by a wedding ring. A wedding ring is, of course, a universal sign to the outside world that the wearer is committed to another. To you, the ring provides a reminder of union and the promises that have been made. The rings you bring here today are, in many ways, representing of the very nature of love and marriage. Made in a circle, their design tells us that love must never come to an end; it must always be continuous.· As you notice, the rings are often used of precious metals and diamonds. Beautiful on the outside but also durable. Able to weather the toughest of hardships. These rings will not always shine as brightly as they do today. But so is true in the marriage relationship. From time to time they must be cleaned and polished up, just as from time to time your marriage relationship must be refreshed and renewed. Mitch and Mason, as you exchange these rings today, be aware that in your life together you will go through many cycles. This is just the beginning of a long journey. As you go through your life journey together, remember that your love for each other and your commitments to one another are never ending, they are rare and precious and by God’s grace and strength will sustain you throughout the journey ahead.

To Mitchell: “Do you have a token of your love?”

“Yes, I do.”

(get ring)

As you put this ring on Mason’s finger, I would like you to repeat these words.

“This ring I give thee as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.”

To Mason: “Do you have a token of your love?”

“Yes, I do.”

As you put this ring on Mitchell’s finger, I would like you to repeat these words.

“This ring I give thee as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.”

10. Unity Candle

At this time, the couple will now light their unity candle symbolizing their coming together to form this one new light. Separate but now one!

Light it then Pray

11. Prayer

O great God of love, you have established marriage and only with you can it be worked out with joy.

We ask that you would bless Mitchell. Bless him as the provider and protector of his home. May his strength be her protection, his character be her joy and assurance. May he live in a way that Mason may find in him the haven for which her heart would truly long for.

Please bless Mason. Thank you for her tenderness towards you and towards Mitchell. Give her a deep sense of understanding and a great faith in You. Give her that inner beauty of soul that never fades. May she so live that he may be pleased to always treasure her.

Teach them that marriage is not living simply for each other but a uniting and joining of hands to serve You, the living God. Give them a great spiritual purpose in life. May they seek first the kingdom that is yours, and its righteousness, so that all other things may be added unto them. Loving you first, they shall love each other all the more. And faithful unto You, faithful unto each other they will remain.

May they not expect that perfection of each other that belongs alone to You. May they minimize each other’s weaknesses, be swift to praise and magnify each other’s strengths, and see each other through a lover’s kind and gracious eyes.

Give them a little something to forgive each day, that they may grow in the grace of long-suffering and love. And may they be as forbearing with each other as You are with them.

May they serve You joyfully, fully, faithfully, together, until at last one shall lay the other in Your arms. This we ask through our Savior, Jesus Christ, the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Master of Marriage, our great lover of souls. Amen.

12. Pronouncement of the Couple

Therefore since Mitchell and Mason have pledged their love and faith to each other, sealed their vows in the giving and receiving of rings and have expressed their complete and pure dedication to one another before God and to those gathered here today then it is by the authority granted to me by the Lord Jesus Christ and His church, that I do now pronounce you husband and wife. “What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Brother, you should probably kiss your Bride.

13. Presentation of the Couple

Fellow worshippers and witnesses, it’s my joy to present to you for the first time, Mr. & Mrs. Mitchell Belson!