Starting The Journey
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Announcements:
Announcements:
Work Day this Friday from 4p-8p…
We will order some pizza, drinks, and tackle some of the areas of our building
Cleaning
Clearing and organizing the storage room
Clearing and organizing the “prayer” multipurpose room.
We have an elder meeting this week where we are going to discuss our fall groups and ministry opportunities and I’ll have a schedule/calendar for you all soon.
Understanding Your Brother
Understanding Your Brother
Last week we reviewed getting the log out of our own eyes. This was “Preparing” for our Journey to resolving conflict.
We need to be aware of our attitudes and blindspots.
As well as actual actions and sins that we have committed.
Remember: we are seeking to be Peacemakers… Not Peace Fakers and not Peace breakers.
Moving into confrontation there are still some diagnostics that we must go through before we begin to resolve our conflict.
Part of peacemaking will involve spending time reflecting not only on our own contributions, but to the contributions of others as well.
however, before we confront someone, we have to understand that there are some offenses we can and should overlook.
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Here’s a general rule… if you can answer “no” to all of these questions: Then it may be time to grant grace and move forward in the relations.
1 - Is this offense seriously dishonoring to God?
2 - Has it permanently damaged the relationship?
3 - Is it seriously hurting other people?
4 - Is it seriously hurting the offender themselves?
Some scenarios?
Bill, a new believer hasn’t been attending church very long, in fact, He has no church background at all. He came to Christ late in life and is earnestly seeking to learn all he can and his new faith. You decide to spend some time building a relationship with this new brother and invite him over to your home. Did I mention that Bill is an ex-marine? He has some rough edges and lets a few choice words slip in front of the family.
Can we overlook that one?
June has been distant lately, she used to attend church regularly, but now she seems cold. In fact, you’ve bumped into her a couple of times while out and it felt like she went out of her way to avoid you.
Joy grew up a preachers kid. She sang in the choir, went to every camp, and spent hours at the church with her family. Lately, things at home haven’t been going well, and while looking from the outside in, their home appears normal, the word Divorce is being thrown around. You notice Joy might be her name, but it wouldn’t describe her attitude. She been getting in trouble at school, and during small group was disruptive and disrespectful.
These stories are made up, and any similarity to these events was pure coincidence… names have been changed to protect the innocent.. No animals were harmed in the making of this sermon. :)
It would be tempting to go talk to everyone else about what just happened.. In fact, that’s what most of us naturally do. Can you believe June? Joy is acting terrible, You wont believe what happened when Bill came over last night…
There’s a theme I want you to pick up on when we being the journey of confrontation. If we cannot overlook the offense… we have a biblical prescription to consider.
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
I heard Dr. Evans preach on this verse one time and he described the idea of being caught like a fish on a hook. The bate looked tasty, but it was a trap.
Have you ever caught a fish?
They know their in trouble and will fight to the detriment of their own health to be free.
They are literally hooked and unable to release themselves.
Here’s the first qualification: Notice the restoration is tasked to those who are spiritual.
What does it mean to be spiritual?
If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.
Our lives will reflect that of the person of the Holy Spirit. Simply put we will reflect the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Galatians 5:22–23 (ESV)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Notice here, what does your bible say? Fruit or Fruits?
The fruit of the Holy Spirit is singular, unified with Christ, but it comes in nine delicious flavors. All these flavors are distinctive and can be identified, but they are never separated, but exist as one fruit.
Why?
You can’t have a little bit of love, but no self control… You can’t fill up on Kindness, but have disregard for Peace.
Let’s break this list up into three areas.. You with me?
Mental or God-ward qualities (v. 22)
Love (Gr. agape, self-sacrificing affection for others)
Joy (Gr. chara, deep-seated gladness regardless of circumstances)
Peace (Gr. eirene, inner quietness and repose regardless of circumstances)
Interpersonal or other-ward qualities (v. 22)
Patience (Gr. makrothymia, forbearance even under provocation)
Kindness (Gr. chrestotes, benevolence and graciousness)
Goodness (Gr. agathosyne, constructive action reaching out to others)
General or self-ward qualities (vv. 22-23)
Faithfulness (Gr. pistis, reliability, trustworthiness)
Gentleness (Gr. praytes, acquiescence to authority and consideration of others)
Self-control (Gr. enkrateia, ability to master oneself)
How you think about God will impact your inward life and your outward actions.
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
The Spiritual person, while never perfect, will continually develop the disciple of viewing situations through God’s lens.
Spiritual people restore = restoration in the greek is a word that was used to describe the mending of nets, the setting of broken bones…
Spiritual people understand the temptations that come with the task of being a “peacemaker”
Perhaps one of the most difficult things when seeking to resolve conflict … have the spiritual fortitude to not be pulled offsides.
In football, I played on the defensive line.
After the play was called… we would line up, tune our sense, and keep our eye on the ball. Why? Just because the quarterback said “hike” doesn’t mean the play has stared. If you jump that… you’ll get a penalty and suffer the consequences.
You know how you get good and not jumping the snap of the ball? Practice… Practice… Practice!
Listen, some of us are terrible at conflict, because we haven’t practiced how to do it correctly. Has anyone in your life been a great example of how to do conflict biblically?
We’re not going to have time to get through all of Beginning our Journey this week, but I want to start with these TWO points to beginning our journey to being good stewards of conflict, and learning to be a peacemaker.
Pray for humility:
Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
Think about how you would want to be spoken too.
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips.