Thomas Apollo Buskirk Memorial Service

Celebration of Life (Let slide show loop during service)

Good afternoon. I am Janet’s brother, Don Parmely. I am a pastor in North Georgia.

Today we are gathered to remember the all-too-short, but remarkable life of Thomas Apollo Buskirk.

Let’s begin with prayer and ask for God’s help during our time together.

Father God, we ask that you would help us to remember the good things, the funny things, the caring things about Thomas Apollo Buskirk’s life.

We ask this in Jesus’ Name.

Amen

Janet - Cosmic brownies and cremation story

Janet, Tom’s wife of course, would like to tell you how ironic this service is and what Tom had often said he wanted on the occasion of his death.

Words for My Love

Tom did NOT want anything if he should die. He made sure to say that he only ever wanted to be cremated and then he wanted me to serve him in brownies to everyone. His final “gift” to everyone would to be to have the last laugh on them. The proverbial – eat me thought. Today, we have cosmic brownies (one of his favorite treats) for anyone that wants to have one and send him a word or two. He may not bother to listen to you if he’s busy or has his headphones on, but since he did want me to serve him up – I know he’d want us to have those who love us around to look after us.

Tom and I met as that weird guy who sat beside me at work. Everyone told me how magnificent he was as a programmer so I’d asked if he could work with me on a project and he was reassigned to help. Because I was gone so often, he said he had to sadly sit next to my empty chair and he often said the song “Ain’t no Sunshine When She’s Gone” was his anthem to me. After working side by side and him doting on me and “wooing” me, the day came when we realized our paths had crossed. Tom’s mother had made wedding cakes for my family. First my sister and later 2 for me. Tom told everyone who would listen that I saw him when picking out my first wedding cake and that he was sporting some sexy under-roos and I just knew I had to have him, but he was too young for me, so I had to “bide my time” until he got older.

Tom and I lived a very good life. We told each other that every single day. We were best friends. We could complete each other’s thoughts and we would often be thinking the same thing about what we wanted to do, where we wanted to go, what we wanted to watch, or even what we wanted to eat. We always said it was somewhat creepy how in sync we could be, but we knew what a gift it was as well.

Tom initially felt there was no where he ever wanted to travel because he could get to it all virtually, but through our lives with our children, he realized the world was a big place and our experiences in the actual sites together were something you HAD to live to experience. We have many funny memories of vacations together and even day-to-day always held special words or “things” that Tom would do to make me/us laugh smile and know we were loved.

Tom didn’t love giving his attention to many. He felt most people were annoying and could consume more time and energy than he wanted to devote to them. But we were all his favorite and he let us know in every way he possibly could. He told me often he was very happy and that he had it all. He could play his games, do his work, and enjoy his time with us and it was all he needed. We had dreams of traveling and doing more. He crazily wanted to take all the kids and grandkids to Disney as the large group just to watch and see what would happen. He knew it would be screaming, fighting, and much love and laughter too. He was realistic. He always said we shouldn’t expect anything from anyone and to be happy when they did the best of things. He told me we lived for the good moments, because even though there were awful, heartbreaking ones, there would be more good to come.

Morgan speaks (& Matthew)

Tom’s daughter, Morgan, is with us in this memorial service and would like to share some thoughts about her dad.

Matthew, Tom’s son, is serving our country in the US Navy. He is stationed in Australia and was unable to be here in-person for a number of reasons. He IS here through live streaming. Matthew, we are so sorry for your loss and that you cannot be here with us so that we could try and comfort you in this time of grief.

Robbie Robson - Tom’s boss

Tom was a Senior Software developer. His boss, Robbie Robson is going to share some thoughts about his colleague and friend.

Closing thoughts/prayer

Tom’s departure illustrates how brief and how uncertain our lives can be.

The Bible patriarch, Job said in the book by his name:

Job 14:1–2 (NLT) “How frail is humanity! How short is life, how full of trouble! 2 We blossom like a flower and then wither. Like a passing shadow, we quickly disappear.

Death is never a welcome guest, but it is the reality of the fallen world that humanity has chosen and continues to choose.

Tom was a sy-fi fan and that included Star Trek.

In the Star Trek movie, The Undiscovered Country — a movie that included the final group appearance of the major cast members from the original television series, Captain James Tiberias Kirk (another man with an impressive middle name) quotes from Shakespeare's Hamlet in talking about a future where humans and Klingons live in peaceful co-existence.

But the reality is that when Shakespeare talked about the undiscovered country, he was talking about death.

Tom has journeyed into that undiscovered country leaving his loved ones, friends and coworkers behind. And I know you are hurting.

But even in difficult times, in the most difficult time that we face - the death of a loved one - God’s love is there for us.

At the church that I pastor, we sing a song about God’s love that was recorded by Bethel Music.

The song is called One Thing Remains

Part of it says:

Higher than the mountains that I face

Stronger than the power of the grave

Constant in the trial and the change

One thing remains

Lord, Your love never fails, never gives up,

Never runs out on me

The Apostle Paul prayed for those reading his letter to the Ephesian church. He prayed:

Ephesians 3:18–19 (NLT)

... may you have the power to understand, … , how wide, how long, how high, and how deep [God’s] love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

In this difficult season, I join with Paul in praying that each of you would experience the fullness of God’s love that comes through relationship with Jesus Christ. If you have questions about having a relationship with God, please get with me after this service. I’d be happy to talk to you.

Closing Prayer:

But let’s end with prayer:

Father God, we thank you for helping us celebrate Tom’s life and to deal with the pain of his sudden, unexpected death.

I ask that You will continue to extend Your mercy and grace in the coming days to this wife, this family and these friends.

I pray that any here who do not know the love of God that can give comfort in a time like this would come to know it.

We ask this in Jesus’ Name. Amen.