Ephesians 6:1-9 The Worthy Walk: Family & Work

Review

Paul’s Purpose in 1st Three Chapters:

God’s Greatness, Power and Love: Throughout this letter Paul has pointed the thoughts of the Ephesians to the greatness, power and love of God.

Full & Correct Understanding of Salvation: All of the truth that Paul has set forth in these first three chapters was meant to give the Ephesians a correct understanding of their salvation and their standing in the church.

The first three chapters should have led us to a deeper understanding of our salvation, of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Those truths that we covered are a great comfort and encouragement and should lead us to stand in awe of God, to praise Him for Who He is and thank Him for what he has done.

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Last week we finished chapter 5. In that text Paul gave instructions for the wife to submit to her husband and for the husband to love his wife.

And through that text, Paul not only taught about the relationship of the husband and the wife but also taught about the relationship of Christ and the Church.

As Paul explained the marriage relationship, he did so by comparing the wife’s submission to her husband to the submission of the church to Christ.

And then he went on and explained in great detail the love of the husband in terms of the love of Christ for His Body the church.

And by doing so, Paul showed that the marriage relationship is a picture of Christianity.

There is no greater motivation for a wife to submit to her husband than to do it because it is a reflection of the submission of the church to her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

And in the same way, the motivation for the husband to sacrificially love his wife is again because it is a reflection of Christ’s love for us, the Church.

Introduction

Tonight we will be looking at Ephesians 6:1-9 where we will continue to examine the Worthy Walk.

More specifically we will continue to examine what Paul meant when he said in Ephesians 5:21, “and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.”

In our text Paul will address the relationship of parents and children and Masters and Slaves. And once again we will see that even in the midst of required submission, there is equality in the sight of the Lord. Stand with me as I read our text.

Ephesians 6:1–9 NASB95

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ; not by way of eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free. And masters, do the same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.

Pray

Instruction to Children

If only we would put these truths into practice in our own marriages, putting our focus on Christ rather than ourselves, our marriages would be transformed and the world would truly say “look at how they love one another”.

And imagine the effect even upon our own children as they are brought up by parents who are a living illustration of Christianity.

Not only would they be continually pointed to Christ, but even the relationship between the parents and the children would change.

And that relationship between children and parents should be different in a Christian home. And that is what Paul addresses here in Ephesians 6:1-4. Paul first addresses the children.

Paul says in

Ephesians 6:1–2 NASB95

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise),

Paul gives two instructions to children in this text.

1. Obey

Paul begins with obedience which is outward.

Children are to do what their parents require of them and not do that which the parent forbids.

And even though Paul will address the fathers in verse 4, the child is not only to be obedient to the father, but to the mother as well.

And notice that the child is to obey the parents in the lord. Their obedience to their parents is to be seen as obedience to Christ. Paul also says that it is right for children to obey. It is right because of the natural relationship between them, because the obedience is in the Lord, and because it is an express command of God to do so. That is what we see in verses 2 and 3.

2. Honor

Paul continues his instruction to children by pointing to the Fifth Commandment, Honor your Father and Mother.

And as Paul mentions the fifth commandment, he is not just supporting his teaching to the children, but also taking the teaching beyond just outward obedience.

The outward action in obedience is to flow from an inward attitude of honor for the mother and father.

The child is to do more than just grudgingly obey, they are to do so out of honor, that is, respect or reverence.

First Commandment with a Promise

To honor the Father and Mother was an important issue in the nation of Israel. Paul points out the significance of this command when he says that it is the first commandment with a promise. And that promise follows in verse 3, “so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”

1. Well with you

In the nation of Israel, the reason that it would be well with them if they honored their father and mother was that if they did not, they were subject to severe punishment. Deuteronomy 27:16 ‘Cursed is he who dishonors his father or mother.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’” What does it mean that they would be cursed? Listen to the instruction given just one chapter after the original command was given. Exodus 21:17 “He who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.”

Not to honor father and mother, that is, to dishonor them, was punishable by death. This relationship of children to their parents was of highest importance. It was the very foundation of Israelite society. If the children would not honor their parents, how would they honor God? And because dishonor would lead to death, it was very true that to honor father and mother would indeed bring well being to that child’s life.

2. Live long on the earth

Now, the second part of the promise speaks of living long on the earth. But in the original, in Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16, the promise is slightly different. In both of those verses the promise is not about the earth but about the land that the Lord their God would give them.

Exodus 20:12 (NASB95)

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

Deuteronomy 5:16 (NASB95)

‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you.

Purpose for Israel

And so, for the nation of Israel, the promise had to do with more than just personal well being. Honoring father and mother was important for the nation as a whole. The family is the basic building block of society and if the children would not obey the parents, then they certainly would not obey God. And so, there are warnings throughout the Old Testament that if the nation did not obey, God would punish them and remove them from the land.

The first step in preventing that was the honoring of the parents by the children. And that seems that the by calling it the first commandment with a promise, Paul probably meant that it was the foremost commandment, it was a commandment of first importance.

Purpose for Christians

Of course, Paul was not writing to Jews but to Christians. That is why the promise here in Ephesians speaks of living long on the earth and not in the Land. Christians were not going to inherit the promised land of Israel. However, Israel as the people of God pointed forward to the true people of God, the Church. And so, the promise still stands though it is adapted to the new situation.

Now, let me make clear that I am not saying that children of Christian parents will automatically inherit the true and spiritual promised land. Paul is not substituting a spiritual promise for the original physical promise. For just as not all Israelites were the true people of God, not all those born into Christian families are true followers of Christ.

However, the command still stands and so does the promise. It will go better for those who honor their parents and they are likely to live longer on the earth because of it.

There is no guarantee of course, there are many other factors that play a part in the length of one’s life.

However, those who obey and honor their parents are more likely to live a disciplined life.

Hendriksen offers this example. He says,

“For example, when a devout father warns his son against the evil of chain-smoking, addiction to alcohol, sins pertaining to sex, etc., and the son disregards his advice, he is following a course that does not as a rule lead to long life on the earth.”

Summary of Instruction to the Children:

So the teaching to the children is clear and direct. You are to obey your parents and not just outwardly. You obedience should be out of respect and love for them knowing that as you obey them your are obeying Christ.

Responsibility of Parents:

And as parents we should not miss that we have a responsibility to expect obedience from our children.

And in doing so, we will be preparing them to be able to submit in other areas of their life.

And consider this statement by James Montgomery Boice,

“To teach the child to obey the parent is to teach the child to obey God. To allow the child to defy and disobey the parent is to teach the child to defy and disobey God with all the obvious consequences.”

Instruction to Fathers

Now, while the children are required to obey their parents, that does not mean that the parents are allowed to treat their children however they want.

This should be obvious to us as believers, but in the society of that day, fathers had absolute authority over their children and so Paul offers specific instruction to the fathers.

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Negative Instruction

First, the fathers are not to provoke their children to anger.

Or as Paul puts it in

Colossians 3:21 NASB95

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.

The teaching is simple and clear and yet as any of us who are fathers know, it is difficult to put into practice.

And while it is usually unintentional to provoke our children to anger, to exasperate them, it is still wrong to do so.

So what does it mean to provoke a child to anger?

John MacArthur offers this explanation. He says,

“To provoke … to anger suggests a repeated, ongoing pattern of treatment that gradually builds up a deep–seated anger and resentment that boils over in outward hostility.”

This treatment can come in many forms and most commentators offer similar examples.

Provoking to anger can come through

overprotection of your children

from favoritism between children

from over expectations

from continued discouragement.

from neglect or outright physical or verbal abuse.

It is whatever we do that causes our child to “lose heart” as Paul says in Colossians.

Positive Instruction

Instead, Fathers are to bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. While fathers, even mothers for that matter, are not to provoke their children to anger, that does not mean that they are never to correct and punish them. But that discipline is to be coupled with instruction and both are to be in the Lord.

Discipline probably means more than just correction, but raising or training our children with rules and regulations, and rewards as well as punishments.

Instruction trains by word.

It is teaching, warning and encouraging them.

In all of this it is imperative that we are always pointing our children to Jesus Christ and His word.

In doing so we will point them beyond our authority to the authority of Christ.

Instruction to Slaves

And as we move on to the instructions to slaves and masters, we see that the instructions are more detailed.

And yet, we see virtually the same instructions to slaves and masters as we did with children and fathers.

Ephesians 6:5 NASB95

Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ;

Obedience

We see that slaves are required to obey their masters. And just as we saw with the children, Paul teaches that it is not just outward obedience that is required.

The obedience is to come from the sincerity of heart.

The teaching is much the same as the teaching to children in regard to their parents.

But Paul offers more detail to slaves, for there would be greater difficulty because of the difference in relationship.

With the child, there is the natural love for the parents.

But that would not be the case with slaves for their masters.

According to the Flesh

And so, Paul offers some instruction that would point the slaves away from the difficulty of the situation. First, while they were instructed to be obedient to their masters, Paul adds that those masters are “according to the flesh”. Their masters were only masters in the physical sense. They had no authority over the slaves spiritual state.

Fear & Trembling

And yet, they were still their masters and they were to be respected and honored. That is what Paul means when he calls for obedience with fear and trembling. I say that the fear and trembling has to do with respect and honor because he calls for obedience in the sincerity of their heart. Paul is not calling for the slaves to obey their masters because they are frightened by them, but to have a proper respect for their authority that leads to obedience.

Paul’s use of this phrase elsewhere also supports this understanding of the text. In Philippians 2:12 he calls for believers to work out their salvation with fear and trembling. He is not calling them to obey God out of cowering fear. He is calling them to have an anxious desire to please God in their daily walk out of respect and honor for who God is.

As to Christ

Paul continues and takes the teaching beyond the human master to the Savior. They are to obey in the sincerity of their heart, as to Christ. Their obedience to their masters was to be no different than their obedience to Christ. And again, as they sincerely obeyed their earthly masters, they were indeed obeying Christ.

As Paul continues, he explains what it means to obey in the sincerity of their hearts. He says in verse 6 that their obedience was not be by by eye-service, as men-pleasers... Slaves are called here to go beyond just working when their master was around. They were not simply to put on a show when they were being watched.

Instead they were to consider themselves to be slaves of Christ and their service to their earthly masters as the very will of God. And Paul once again stresses that the obedience was to come from the heart.

In verse 7 Paul points out that they were to render service with good will, as to the Lord and not to men. He is repeating and emphasizing what he has just said. Their work was to be done as if they were doing it for Christ and not for men. And in doing their work for Christ, they would have a different attitude in doing it. Rather than despising their work, they would do it out of good will, desiring the best for their master.

And in verse 8, Paul gives additional motivation and points the slaves beyond their current circumstances. He says, “knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free.”

The reward will be received from God not on the basis of social status but on the basis of the good that is done. Paul is reminding the slaves that their physical slavery has no bearing on their standing before God. In Christ their is no Jew nor Gentile, male nor female, slave or free, but all are one in Christ.

And Paul makes that clear as he moves from addressing Christian slaves to addressing Christian Masters. Look at Ephesians 6:9 “And masters, do the same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.”

Both the slave and the master have the same Master in Heaven. Therefore, the earthly master was answerable to Jesus Christ for his actions just as the slave was answerable to his Lord. And so, Paul instructs the earthly masters to “do the same things to them”. What does Paul mean by this statement? Certainly he can not mean that the master is to be in subjection to the slave.

Hodge explains it this way, “Masters are to act towards their slaves with the same regard for God’s will, with the same recognition of Christ’s authority, with the same sincerity and good feeling which had been enjoined on the slaves themselves. Masters and slaves are men and brothers; the same great principles of moral and religious obligation govern both groups of people.”

The masters are to treat the slaves with concern for their well-being, as brothers and sisters in Christ and not as property. And in treating them in this way, they would no longer need to use threatening as a means of getting them to obey. So Paul calls them to give up threatening.

Listen to what Hendriksen says at this point, “and stop threatening. In other words, “Let your approach be positive, not negative.” Hence, not, “Unless you do this, I will do that to you,” but rather, “Because you are a good and faithful servant, I will give you a generous reward.” Before threatening, the slave stood helpless. He had no means of defending himself, not even, generally speaking, before the law. But as a believer he did have a real Defender.”

The earthly master was to keep in mind that the God of heaven was as much the slave’s God as his and as Paul reminds him, God does not show partiality. Before the throne of God their is no slave or master. God will judge each according to his works, not according to his status in society.

And while we do not have this issue of slave and master in the Christian Church today, we can make application of this text to the employee and employer. As employees, we are to do our work as slaves of Christ. We are to work not only when we are being watched, but especially when the boss is not around. And we are to do it in the sincerity of our heart, with a concern for our employer and not just our bank account.

And employers are to have the same concern for their employees and seek the best for them. And both must remember that in Christ there is no partiality. Whether your a general laborer or a CEO of a major corporation, if you are a Christian, you have the same Master in heaven and will be rewarded not based on your position in the world but based on what you have done in this life.

And we should note that in all of the relationships that we have been considering in our study of the worthy walk, the concern is always focused away from ourselves. If we are to be in subjection to another, we are to be in subjection just as we are subject to Christ.

All of us have room to work when it comes to our relationships with others. Fathers, consider your relationship with your children. If you are provoking them to anger, you need to stop and ask if you are seeking your will for their lives or God’s will for them. And if you find that you are provoking them, then you need to admit that to your children, apologize and seek to change.

And Children, are you obeying your parents? If you are, are you doing it out of honor and respect for them? If not, then you too need to apologize to your parents and change your behavior and your attitude. This is true even if your parents are provoking you to anger.