When Conflicts Arise

Have you ever found your self finishing big project, then look at all the mess around you and ask your self Now What?

A while back I was setting up my garage to do some woodworking.

I built a work desk

I arranged my equipment

I bought shelves, I filled those shelves with tools.

I hung up LED lights so I could see good.

I hung up a peg board and put tools all over it.

I hung up a clock and some license plates to add a level of decor.

I bought tools like a compressor, a planer, a router, and a jointer from various garage sales and auction sites.

I got it all setup and I looked all around me at all the tools I had at my disposal, and I said…Now What?

We have spent the last 12 weeks talking about our Spiritual Gifts.

Now we have a thorough understanding about that, Now What?

I want to pickup where we left off in Romans 12 and see, over the course of the next few weeks and see what is next.

The first thing he says after he through listing the seven Motivational Gifts and their challenges.

Then he looks at his audience through his minds eye and says - Be of the same mind one toward another.

In other words....

I. All the Above 16

Have you ever taken a test in school that was multiple choice, and you come to an answer that says “all of the above?”

That’s what we have here, you see the Christian life isn’t a buffet where you can pick and choose which you want to take with you and which you want to leave behind, because that’s not your spiritual gift.

No, the Christian life is your mama’s table, where you eat it all, whether you like it or not!

Same mind - What mind? The last seven verses.

love without Hypocrisy

Hate evil

Cling to the good

Be kind

honor each other

Work hard

Have a fervency about you

pray always

give openly

be hospitable

Bless those who persecute you

Rejoice with those that rejoice, cry with those who cry

Then he gives us three additional attitudes we should have while we do those things:

A. Don’t Focus on the Esteemed

Mind not high things - mindset of pride, don’t be haughty and prideful

One of the worst enemies of a church is a prideful pastor or and a prideful membership.

Humility - is not thinking low of yourself, it is not thinking of yourself at all.

Pride - self focused.

On the first day of graduate school at a Christian University, the instructor was introduced to the students as doctor. The head of the school made many references to “Dr. Smith has done this…” and “Dr. Smith has achieved that.”

When the teacher rose to speak, he immediately said, “I want you to know that I do not insist that we go by this ‘Doctor’ title. I’m not interested in such things.” And with a smile he added, “If you want to call me anything, just call me ‘Your Imminence.’”

Don’t focus on what you think will get you the praise, or in with the right people

Instead...

B. Do Associate with the Common 16c

condescend - is the Greek word sunapago [soon·ap·ag·o/] it means to carry away with, or lead away with.

in other words, don’t be led away by prideful things, but things that are humble.

Some commentators have said these words could be translated associate with the lowly.

Bible College - looking for someone to date

C. Don’t Let Your Gift Puff You Up 16d

Don’t think you are wiser than you are.

One danger of learning what your spiritual gift is, is becoming prideful about what the Holy Spirit does through you.

Give God the glory!

Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit knew that the tenancy of a group of Christians having different motivations would clash.

So in the next two verses he tells them to...

II. Work at Peace 17-18

Sometimes getting along is hard work!

God made each of us different.

But sometimes when we yield to the flesh our different clashes with someone else’s different.

Let’s look more closely at the specifics of how we ought to work at peace...

A. Don’t Get Even 17

If someone does something to you that hurts you, the most natural thing in the world is to try to get back at them.

But that is the natural man, not the new man.

Jesus said,

Matthew 5:38–39 KJV

38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: 39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

This is a hard thing to do, I know!

When someone hits you, the most natural response is to hit back.

But that old man is dead, how should we live that way any longer?

Ephesians 4:22–24 KJV

22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; 23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; 24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

In fact there is much said about not repaying evil for evil in Scripture.

1 Peter 3:8–9 KJV

8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: 9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

Peter tells us we are to have one mind - the mind of Christ - having compassion, love, pity, courteousness, Blessing those who hurt us.

Proverbs 20:22 KJV

22 Say not thou, I will recompense evil; But wait on the Lord, and he shall save thee.

Really that’s the key, isn’t it? Waiting on the Lord to act on our behalf

Vs. 19

Someone once said, “Show respect to people who don’t even deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.”

There was a sheep-raising farmer. Next to him his neighbor, another farmer with children, was raising wheat, and large dogs. The dogs were scaring his sheep. The sheep farmer didn’t know what to do. He could shoot the dogs, or poison them, be nasty to his neighbor, or even take him to court.

He prayed about it...

As soon as some new lambs were born he gave each of his neighbor’s children one of the lambs as a pet. The children were thrilled. But their father could no longer allow his dogs to run rampant as before. He restrained them for the sake of the pet lambs. The two farmers became friends. Kindness own.

So, Don’t get even.

and ...

B. Do Prepare to Show Integrity 17b

Now what do I mean by that?

Look at verse 17 again,

Provide [pron·o·eh·o] - prepare for (perceive before)

honest [kal·os] - morally good, noble

In other words, Decide ahead of time what you are going to do

How you will respond!

This world needs to see real Christians!

We all fail, we all make mistakes, but when you do fail do all you can to repair it.

We need to decide ahead of time that we will show this world what is morally good and noble!

No matter how much it will cost me!

When I was working as a bookkeeper for a plumbing company. Due to a lull in business we got a little past due on one of the accounts. A lady from that company called me to arrange a payment, when I asked the amount due, she included the amount that we had purchased that wasn’t due to be paid yet. This had happened before and I was really frustrated about it. I got snippy with her and hung up feeling satisfied with my self for putting her in her place. As I thought about what had happened I became convicted. I as a christian, working for a known christian plumber had acted in a very unchristian way. I picked up the phone, dialed the number and asked for the woman I had just spoken to. I apologized for being rude with her. She was shocked. She said, “I’ve never had anyone call me back and apologize before!” I told her, “I’ve committed myself to live in a way that is honoring to God, and I failed that. I just needed to call an apologize.” I mailed off payment. a few months later, I needed to come into the business to give a payment before it was late the next day. She heard who I was from across the room and came over to me, shook my hand and said, “I just wanted to meet you in person!” I had made difference just by doing the right thing. By my humbling myself, I opened the door for her to hear the gospel.

So he tells us, Don’t get even

Do Prepare to Show Integrity, and thirdly ...

C. Do Keep the Peace 18

As I mentioned before, Paul knew by inspiration of the Holy Spirit that all Christians will not get along.

There will be conflict.

But we need to do everything within our power to keep the peace.

BTW, “If it be possible” is not giving you an out!

As much as lieth in you - as much as depends on you

Do everything on your side to live in peace!

There is only one person that you will stand and answer for before God!

Do all you can to Get Along!

III. Treat Him with Kindness 19-21

If someone offends you, smile and bless them.

In the South the phrase “Bless their heart...” can have a variety of meanings. It’s something like the world “Aloha” in Hawaii, except maybe not quite as divers.

“You poor darling, you lost your way? Well, bless your heart.” would mean “May God find it in Himself to bless your heart, and may you have a good life.”

Whereas, “So, you think all southerners are dumb rednecks who run around barefoot and ignorant? Well, bless your heart.” would mean… “Well I certainly hope that God will bless your heart, because no one else will.”

So we aren’t talking about this kind of smile and bless them!

When you just don’t click or they just grate on your nerves, do the right thing!

Pray for them

A dear friend struggled with someone in the church, I challenged them to make a purposeful effort to pray for them. Prayer does more than change them, it changes you.

Help them - look for ways that you can help them.

Sacrifice for them - don’t be afraid to give, and let it really cost you.

Sacrificial giving brings blessing and joy

Acts 20:35 KJV

35 I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Treat them with kindness, live like Christ!

Now Paul gives three ways we can do just this:

A. Do Let God Avenge 19

Don’t attack, just let God handle it.

The story is told of a woman who was bitten by a mad dog. It looked as if she was going to die of rabies, so the doctor told her she should make her will. Taking her pen and paper she began to write; in fact she wrote and wrote. Finally the doctor said, “That is surely a long will you’re making.”

She snorted, “Will nothing! I’m making a list of all the people I’m going to bite!”

Give it to God, He is the one that knows how best to handle it!

There are situation that come in our lives that we can do nothing about.

Our heart breaks over the pain of others, and seeming injustice done to others.

We have to give it to God.

I just read a story of a man that got into an argument with his wife and took his four kids to a high bridge over the cost of Alabama and threw them off the bridge. They were ages 3 months to 3 years old. He was sentenced to death, but based on a technicality, even though there were eye witness accounts and the bodies were discovered in likely places based on current, he was set free. My heart hurt when I read that! Even while I’m studying for this sermon I said, “where is the justice for those kids?” And quietly the Holy Spirit of God responded, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”

So, let God avenge, but he doesn’t stop there, then

B. Do Good to Him 20

Do good to the man who hurt me?

Do good to the woman who hurt my wife?

God said, If he’s hungry feed him, if he’s thirsty give him drink

Heap coals - Not so he will burn his head.

This is a eastern saying, meaning to let him burn in conviction.

Coals repeatedly a symbol of cleansing.

Do Let God Avenge

Do good to them!

And then thirdly he says,

C. Don’t Let Evil Win 21

Don’t let evil win!

Christians need to pay attention to the fact that Paul, led by the Holy Spirit, is saying the Christian can be overcome (conquered by) evil.

That doesn’t mean that it will conquer our soul, or lose our salvation.

Rather it is talking about letting evil overtake us.

It’s not worth it!

Overcome evil with good.

Yield to the Spirit of God and let Him do the work in us!

Over the next couple of weeks we are going to look at some areas where Paul challenges us in getting along with all those around us.

now that you know what your Spiritual Gift is, let’s use it!

All of this that we talked about today can be wrapped up in one statement!

Yield to the Holy Spirit of God!

Each day, and throughout the day, ask Lord what would you have me to do about this?

How would you have me handle this, Lord?

And then Yield!

Now What? Yield!