Qualities of Men and Women

Proverbs 11  •  Sermon  •  Submitted
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Gracious woman, ruthless man; relationships vs. accomplishments.

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Introduction

Proverbs 11:31 NASB95
31 If the righteous will be rewarded in the earth, How much more the wicked and the sinner!
Illustration:
Abigail and Nabal
See 1 Samuel 25
1 Samuel 25:23–31 NASB95
23 When Abigail saw David, she hurried and dismounted from her donkey, and fell on her face before David and bowed herself to the ground. 24 She fell at his feet and said, “On me alone, my lord, be the blame. And please let your maidservant speak to you, and listen to the words of your maidservant. 25 “Please do not let my lord pay attention to this worthless man, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal is his name and folly is with him; but I your maidservant did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent. 26 “Now therefore, my lord, as the Lord lives, and as your soul lives, since the Lord has restrained you from shedding blood, and from avenging yourself by your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek evil against my lord, be as Nabal. 27 “Now let this gift which your maidservant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who accompany my lord. 28 “Please forgive the transgression of your maidservant; for the Lord will certainly make for my lord an enduring house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil will not be found in you all your days. 29 “Should anyone rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, then the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living with the Lord your God; but the lives of your enemies He will sling out as from the hollow of a sling. 30 “And when the Lord does for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you, and appoints you ruler over Israel, 31 this will not cause grief or a troubled heart to my lord, both by having shed blood without cause and by my lord having avenged himself. When the Lord deals well with my lord, then remember your maidservant.”
1 Samuel 25:32–35 NASB95
32 Then David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me, 33 and blessed be your discernment, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodshed and from avenging myself by my own hand. 34 “Nevertheless, as the Lord God of Israel lives, who has restrained me from harming you, unless you had come quickly to meet me, surely there would not have been left to Nabal until the morning light as much as one male.” 35 So David received from her hand what she had brought him and said to her, “Go up to your house in peace. See, I have listened to you and granted your request.”
Deuteronomy 32:4–9 NASB95
4 “The Rock! His work is perfect, For all His ways are just; A God of faithfulness and without injustice, Righteous and upright is He. 5 “They have acted corruptly toward Him, They are not His children, because of their defect; But are a perverse and crooked generation. 6 “Do you thus repay the Lord, O foolish and unwise people? Is not He your Father who has bought you? He has made you and established you. 7 “Remember the days of old, Consider the years of all generations. Ask your father, and he will inform you, Your elders, and they will tell you. 8 “When the Most High gave the nations their inheritance, When He separated the sons of man, He set the boundaries of the peoples According to the number of the sons of Israel. 9 “For the Lord’s portion is His people; Jacob is the allotment of His inheritance.
Comparisons in vv. 16-31

v.16

Proverbs 11:16 NASB95
16 A gracious woman attains honor, And ruthless men attain riches.
Proverbs 11:16 BHS/WHM 4.2
16 אֵֽשֶׁת־חֵ֭ן תִּתְמֹ֣ךְ כָּב֑וֹד וְ֝עָרִיצִ֗ים יִתְמְכוּ־עֹֽשֶׁר׃
“A woman of grace/beauty/charm/appeal grasps (for) honor/glory.”
“A tyrant/ruthless man grasps riches.”
The real comparison is between the beauty and graces of an honorable woman, and the condemnable qualities of ruthless, tyrannical, hard-nosed, men.

Her grace is not merely the perishing grace of the body, but the enduring grace of the soul (ch. 31:30). It is not by dress, worldly vanities, or admiration of lovers that she obtains and retains “honour,” but by spiritual and internal graces.

“The gracious woman demonstrates godly qualities in her actions....The point of the poverb lies in the contrast between the reward that comes to godly character and the reward that is gained by raw strength. The one is eternal and of great worth; the other is temporal and of little value...” Stevenson, p. 151.
The commendable natural qualities/tendencies of a woman.
vv.16-22 = contrast of a good man and a good woman and a bad man and a bad woman.
Woman =
v. 16 - charming, gracious, beautiful

24 There is one who scatters, and yet increases all the more,

25 The agenerous man will be prosperous,

And he who waters will himself be watered.

26 He who withholds grain, the people will curse him,

But blessing will be on the head of him who sells it.

27 He who diligently seeks good seeks favor,

But the righteous will flourish like the green leaf.

Proverbs 11:30 NASB95
30 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, And he who is wise wins souls.
v.22 - discrete.
Man =
v. 16 - ruthless/fixated on riches, materials.
v.17 - merciful, cruel
v.18 - wicked, sows righteousness
v.19 - righteous, pursues evil
v.20 - perverse in heart, blameless
v. 21 - evil, descendents of the righteous

v.17

Proverbs 11:17 NASB95
17 The merciful man does himself good, But the cruel man does himself harm.
Proverbs 11:17 BHS/WHM 4.2
17 גֹּמֵ֣ל נַ֭פְשׁוֹ אִ֣ישׁ חָ֑סֶד וְעֹכֵ֥ר שְׁ֝אֵר֗וֹ אַכְזָרִֽי׃
Carrying the same concepts as v.16
Proverbs 31:11–12 NASB95
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
“…a man of lovingkindness of soul is rendering/dealing out (the same)...”
“…and the untouchable man (does) his flesh cruelty...”

Conclusion

Ephesians 5:22–27 NASB95
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
Titus 2:3–5 NASB95
3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
1 Corinthians 7:14 NASB95
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
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