Reconcilliation

I messed up...

Matthew 5:21–26 NLT

“You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell. “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. “When you are on the way to court with your adversary, settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison. And if that happens, you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny.

I cannot stand here and offer my gift without asking for forgiveness.

I have been thinking about this ever since Tuesday night and I feel it is appropriate for me to publicly apologize. As a pastor, I am not perfect, but I must model a “life above reproach” (1 Timothy 3:2) and if I have wronged someone, or done wrong, it is MY RESPONSIBILITY to model humility and seek forgiveness.

I will stand before God and give an account as to how I have been the undershepherd of this part of God’s great flock (Hebrews 13:17). For that reason, when I fail to model and imitate God I must be honest and admit it.

This past Tuesday evening our church Coaches/Board met for our monthly board meeting. I came to the meeting frustrated, and with a negative attitude. Sometimes those attitudes and emotions happen.

However, I allowed my negative attitude and frustration to rule my thoughts and the tone in which I conducted the meeting. That should not have happened. I did not allow grace, peace, love, mercy, nor did I allow the Fruit of the Spirit to be evident in the way I conducted myself at the meeting.

Again, this caused the tone of what I said, and at times, even what I said to be negative towards others. I was wrong!

Could the Church Board please stand...

Board members, I publicly apologize for my attitude, behavior, and words and how they were said on Tuesday. The tone of my behavior was inexcusable. And, I seek your forgiveness. I cannot take anything back, but I can seek to model a different attitude next month - to demonstrate that I do not desire to be the person I was on Tuesday night.

Would you accept my apology?

Kim, would you remain standing...

Kim, I know I already apologized to you. But, upon reflecting on what I said to you I realized, again, that I was COMPLETELY WRONG. In our conversation I made a comment about you not doing your job. If anybody had said that to me I would be very hurt and offended! I was completely wrong and completely off base with that comment.

I know the comments we make CAN reveal how we truly feel and think about something. I apologize because I should not think you aren’t taking seriously your call to lead SDMI and especially your passion to reach the children of our area. YOU are extremely busy, thoughtful, and competent in this position. YOU are doing A LO! There is quizzing, children’s church, sunday school, gearing up for VBS and Caravan. There is a lot happening!!! I also know that there is deep exhaustion in working with limited volunteers and the struggles of keeping others, including yourself from reaching burnout. Comments like the one I made are not helpful, and are definitely not true.

I AM SORRY! I hope to prove to you again that I am a person who cares about you and people above anything else. Would you, please, accept my apology and give me another chance to show that I seek to be gracious and humble as we journey together?

To the SDMI Board. My comments would also have offended you! You, also, are busy and trying to navigate ministry in the aftermath of a pandemic, church closures, and volunteer dropout. I should be doing everything I can, within my means, to encourage YOU and your volunteers. My attitude and tone on Tuesday night would not have been encouraging! I apologize for what my attitude insinuated about you all.

Would you all please accept my apology?

To the church. Over the years I have fallen in love with you all. I cannot tell you how many times in the midst of conversation my soul speaks to my mind saying, “ I truly love (agape) this person!” I have noticed this more and more these past few months.

As your pastor, who loves you, I failed you on Tuesday. The reason I failed is because my attitude did not demonstrate the character of the Pastor I pray you have come to know. I did not lead our board in love and grace. Therefore, I was a very poor demonstration of the shepherd of this flock that God calls me to be.

As your shepherd and leader I seek to be different - I seek to lead with love and purpose in mind. On Tuesday, love and charity were not always a part of my attitude and therefore I failed.

Church, would you please accept my apology and allow me the opportunity to lead again with love?

Maybe in this there is a lesson for all of us

I recognize that we all fail and emotions can easily take over. But, that is not an excuse to say, “Oh well.”

Ephesians 4:26–27 NLT

And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Paul encourages us not to allow our emotions to control us.

Emotions should be thermometers, not thermostats.

A thermometer tells us the temperature of the room we are in. But, a thermostat controls that temperature. Emotions should TELL US something about the situation, but when emotions begin to control us, when emotions begin to be the thermostat, not just the sign that something is not right, then we begin to step into sin.

We all have emotions! But, they are not to be what controls us. This is where I failed!

As your pastor I seek to model a new way of life that God has called us into. The New Way calls ME to model humility and seek reconciliation when I am wrong. It also calls me to offer reconciliation to those who have wronged me.

But, I am not the only one called to do this. Yes, I must lead and minister and live in ways that model this life as a prime example, but we are all called to this New Way of reconciliation.

I don’t think I am the only one who has allowed emotions to overtake them and change thier attitude, tone, and demeanor towards someone else. I don’t think I am the only person who needs to share the peace of reconciliation.

Here’s the thing about reconciliation… we often think that if we have wronged someone, they can come to us and talk about it. But, deep down we have to know that is not the way of Jesus - Jesus who offers forgiveness to those who crucified him while he was hanging on the cross. The way of Jesus calls us to settle matters quickly - especially among our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Is there someone in your life you have wronged? Is there someone who has wronged you? What keeps you from being reconciled to them?

Maybe it is a family member who has hurt you, or who you have hurt.

Maybe it is your spouse, or your children, or an ex even.

Maybe your boss got you extremely angry and you vowed to never view her, or him, the same way again. Or, your vowed to make their life miserable because of what they did to you, or said to you.

Maybe it is your neighbor

Or a coworker

Or your child’s teacher, or principal, or sports coach.

Or maybe it’s no one and we’re all perfect here - that is except me...

Is that person here today?

If they are, go, be reconciled. Ask for forgiveness, or offer forgiveness. Have a loving, gracious conversation with each other. We cannot come and offer our worship of God if we haven’t allowed God’s Spirit, which meets us here, to coach us, prod us, and direct us towards reconciliation towards one another.

What can you do RIGHT NOW to offer reconciliation.

Do you need to make a phone call?

Send a text?

Leave the service and go find him/her?

Write a letter to put in the mail?

What can you do THIS WEEK to offer reconciliation?

Put the letter in the mail?

Plan a coffee meeting?

Meet with your boss?

How can we offer our praises to God if we are not reconciled with each other?

Reconciliation takes work and humility. But, it has great rewards for the demonstration of God’s New Way!

After all it was Jesus who told us our love for one another would distinguish us...

John 13:35 NLT

Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”