Family Issues – Child Rearing

Family Issues – Child Rearing

Let’s focus in on the family a bit more. Earlier I dealt with the role of the husband, now let’s talk about the children. Remember this is from a biblical prospective and because we have not been properly instructed in most cases, some may have a problem with this. We often hear the excuse that children don’t come with an instruction manual, THAT IS ABSOTULEY WRONG! The Bible is our guide and I will list appropriate scriptures related to raining children. The enemy knows that if he can tear down the family it is just a short stone away from tearing down the church, which is his ultimate goal. In following the current popular worldly emotional, children’s rights advocate wisdom of child rearing, we are developing and sending out into the world drug addicts or alcoholic’s, homosexuals and lesbians, sociopathic criminals, hysterical daughters, adult schizophrenics, obsessive children, accident-prone children, obese children, and hyperkinetic children. We know for a fact that until the most recent generations we did not have these type issues with children on this large of a scale. What happened, we took prayer out of schools we spare the rod, we listened to DR. Spock and others whose views and methods came from other places than the bible. I know some of the labels are harsh in today’s politically correct circles but here again we have to apply Psalms 50:18 as it relates to what we idly stand by and watch. And if we don’t engage these ills we are guilty.

Psalm 50:18 New Living Translation When you see thieves, you approve of them, and you spend your time with adulterers.

Their methods and Dr. Spock’s don’t work: his grandson committed suicide at age 22 on Christmas day by jumping off the top of the building where his father Dr. Spock’s son worked. We have to ask ourselves what happened. The answer is we move our child rearing away from what scripture teaches, we rearranged the appropriateness of a home where the father and mother are both present and involved being led by God. We don’t chastise. The details for how children turn out to fall into the categories identified above are captured in nu notes section under the same title as this post.

The Effects of a Disobedient Child

If you have a disobedient child, Proverbs says he will be:

1. A grief to his mother (Prov 10:1; 17:25)

2. A rebel to his father (Prov 15:5)

3. A sorrow to his father (Prov 17:21, 25)

4. A disaster to his father (Prov 19:13)

5. A disgrace to his parents (Prov 19:26)

6. A user of his parents (Prov 28:24)

That is summed up in Proverbs 29:15, which says, “The rod [what you do] and reproof [what you say] give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Do you want to have shame on your hands? Do you want to have a disaster on your hands? Just don’t do anything, and that’s what you’ll have.

The Cause of the Present Chaos in Rearing Children

1. As seen by the Houston police department

The Houston police department years ago put out a leaflet called “How To Ruin Your Children.” And it was guaranteed to be 99 percent effective. In part, this is what is said:

a) Principle #1—“Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants.”

b) Principle #2—“When he picks up bad words, laugh at him.”

c) Principle #3—“Never give him any spiritual training. Let him wait until he’s twenty-one years old, and then let him decide for himself.”

d) Principle #4—“Avoid using the word ‘wrong.’ It may develop a serious guilt complex.”

e) Principle #5—“Pick up everything he leaves lying around, so he will be experienced in throwing responsibility on everybody else.”

2. As seen by a Christian psychiatrist

Christian psychiatrist Dr. Paul D. Meier, in his book Christian Child-Rearing and Personality Development ([Grand Rapids: Baker, 1977], pp. 49–79), facetiously discusses the tragedy of children raised without proper divine standards. He does it by showing steps to raising certain types of children.

a) How to develop a drug addict or alcoholic

(1) “Spoil him; give him everything he wants if you can afford it.”

(2) “When he does wrong, you may nag him, but never spank him.”

(3) “Foster his dependence on you, so drugs or alcohol can replace you when he is older.”

(4) “Protect him from your husband and from those mean teachers who threaten to spank him from time to time. Sue them if you wish.”

(5) “Make all of his decisions for him, since you are a lot older and wiser than he is. He might make mistakes and learn from them if you don’t.”

(6) “Criticize his father openly, so your son can lose his own self-respect and confidence.”

(7) “Always bail him out of trouble so he will like you. Besides, he might harm your reputation if he gets a police record. Never let him suffer the consequences of his own behavior.”

(8) “Always step in and solve his problems for him so he can depend on you and run to you when the going gets tough. Then when he is older and still hasn’t learned how to solve his own problems, he can continue to run from them through heroin or alcohol.”

(9) “Just to play it safe, be sure to dominate your husband and drive him to drink too, if you can.”

(10) “Take lots of prescription drugs yourself, so that taking non-prescription drugs won’t be a major step for him.”

b) How to develop a homosexual

(1) “Start out by using the ten easy steps followed by the alcoholic’s mother.”

(2) “Show love for your son by protecting him very carefully. Don’t let him play football or baseball with the other boys—he might get hurt! Don’t let him be a newspaper boy or patrol boy; he might catch pneumonia out in the bad weather.”

(3) “Be sure he spends a lot of time with you and little with his father (or any other adult males).”

c) How to develop a sociopathic criminal

(1) “As usual, start with the ten easy steps the alcoholic’s mother uses, with the following exceptions and additions:”

(2) “Never spank your child. Physical punishment is a thing of the past. In fact, spanking is now considered immoral and is even against the law in Sweden.”

(3) “Let your child express himself any way he feels. He’ll learn from your example how to behave—he doesn’t need any discipline.”

(4) “Don’t run his life; let him run yours. Let him manipulate you and play on your guilt if he doesn’t get his own way.”

(5) “Don’t enforce the household rules—if there are any. That way he’ll be able to choose which laws of society he will break when he is older, and he won’t fear the consequences, since he has never suffered any.”

(6) “Don’t bother him with chores. Do all of his chores for him. Then he can be irresponsible when he is older and always blame others when his responsibilities don’t get done right.”

(7) “Be sure to give in when he throws a temper tantrum. He might hit you if you don’t. Don’t ever cross him when he is angry.”

(8) “It will help if you choose to believe his lies. You may even want to tell a few yourself.”

(9) “Criticize others openly and routinely so he will realize that he is better than everyone else.”

(10) “Give him a big allowance and don’t make him do anything for it. He may get the idea that he’ll have to work for a living later on if you make him work for it. If he does anything worthwhile around the house, be sure to pay him richly for each and every good deed. You wouldn’t want him to think that a feeling of responsibility is its own reward.”

d) How to develop a hysterical daughter

(1) “Use the same ten easy steps the alcoholic’s mother used, point by point; but in addition do the following:”

(2) “Spoil her; always let her get her way, especially if she pouts or cries.”

(3) “Always praise her for her looks, never for her character. Put a mirror on every wall, so she can continually admire herself.”

(4) “Whenever she runs away—and she’ll probably do this frequently—be sure to run after her and apologize for not letting her have her own way in the first place.”

(5) “Encourage her to become a movie star. By now she is so dramatic that acting would be quite natural for her.”

(6) “Get divorced and remarried two or three times so she can learn what you already know: that all men are good-for-nothings, but you might as well live with one anyway.”

e) How to develop an adult schizophrenic

Be sure you show no affection and be a weak father or mother.

f) How to develop an obsessive child

This kind of child is so rigid and inhibited that he’s afraid of everything. Be sure to be critical, snobbish, domineering, and legalistic.

g) How to develop an accident-prone child

Parents should fight with each other constantly and blame the child for the fight so the child will go out and get hurt to punish himself. Or just ignore the child all the time so the child will get hurt to get attention. Or just overreact every time he scratches his finger.

h) How to develop an obese child

Feed him a lot of food and leave him home alone all the time so he has nothing to do but eat. Also make sure he has little regard for his father.

i) How to develop a hyperkinetic child

Don’t ever spank the child; just nag him. Also make sure the father is always gone.

Why am I including all that? Because our society is full of those kinds of people. Where are they coming from? They come from families that are not responding to the divine principles God wants families to live by. No wonder 70 percent of the parents surveyed said if they had to do it over again, they wouldn’t have any children. Who wants children with all the above problems? God intended for children to be a joy to their parents, but that will happen only when they are raised according to God’s principles. Unfortunately, in our society, many children become nothing but a heartache.

3. As seen by the Minnesota Crime Commission

The Minnesota Crime Commission said this: “Every baby starts life as a little savage. He is completely selfish and self-centered. He wants what he wants when he wants it; his bottle, his mother’s attention, his playmate’s toys, his uncle’s watch. Deny him these once, and he seethes with rage and aggressiveness which would be murderous were he not so helpless. He’s dirty, he has no morals, no knowledge, no developed skills. This means that all children, not just certain children, all children are born delinquent. If permitted to continue in their self-impulsive actions to satisfy each want, every child would grow up a criminal, a killer, and a rapist.”

That’s human depravity. Just do nothing with your children, and that’s what you’re going to get. If you just let a child go his own way, make no consequences for his misbehavior, let him run his own life, and give him liberation, society will not want to live with what it’s going to get.

Parents, if we don’t work with our children to make them obedient, we’re going to have the pain that the world has. It’s not easy, but I know one thing: we must teach them to obey. And the only way you’ll ever teach a child to obey is to make him pay the consequences for misbehavior. If you don’t do that, your children will be a grief to you.