Quick to Listen, Slow to Anger

James 1:19-20

When you hear the phrase quick to listen, slow to anger; what do you think of or what are some words that come to mind?

Do you know any one that is a good example of this?

Do you see examples of this being lived out in large parts of the world today?

Is being quick to listen even that big of a deal?

When we look in the scriptures an importance is placed on listening that we maybe missing out on today.

Holy Scriptures: Tree of Life Version Chapter 1

19Know this, my dear brothers and sisters: let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger— 20for human anger doesn’t produce the righteousness of God.

What kind of conversation do you think is taking place when this is described? Do you think this is a conversation where 2 people are speaking civilly and kindly?

What about when one person is loud and aggressive or they make you uncomfortable?

In all circumstances we are to be this way. That does not mean we cannot feel disturbed or aggravated, rather it means we will not be justified by those emotions or those emotions will not excuse a quarrelsome or argumentative behavior.

So today we are going to cover 3 points.

1st Why is listening important?

2nd What is meant by slow to speak.

3rd When to be angry.

As we discuss listening it is important that we know what listening is. To start with there is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is what happens when sound waves interact with our ear drums. Hearing is a sensation that we observe and is needed for listening but it is not the same as listening. Listening is hearing with the intention to understand or do. So when we talk about listening we are not saying to just hear but to hear with the intention of understanding or doing.

So what should we do when we do not understand something?

We ask questions. This is an activity. It means that listening is an activity. One must actively try to listen it does not just happen. Conversely it also means listening is not passive. Listening is not simply waiting for our turn to talk. So I would ask how many of you at times just want someone to listen to you? I mean really listen no interruptions, no trying to fix a problem, no “let me tell you what you need to do.” Just simply listening to everything you have to say. Then we should offer this same courtesy to others. As well when this is what we need we should be plainly obvious about it and not embarrassed because it is something everyone needs. At times I need people to listen to me and sometimes it is in different ways.

So all of this brings us to the first question. Why is Listening important? Listening is needed so we can understand each other. We do not gain an understanding of others by speaking but rather by listening. How can you get to know someone else if they do not communicate? Listening helps to resolve conflicts. Also Listening is how we can receive instructions and corrections that we need to develop in to better people.

Holy Scriptures: Tree of Life Version Chapter 8

32“So now, children, listen to me!

Blessed are those who keep my ways.

33Heed discipline and be wise,

and do not neglect it.

34Blessed is the one who listens to me,

watching daily at my gates,

waiting at my doorposts.

We also must be guarded about listening. Not every word that is said or written is wise. Some are foolish and lead to destruction. So as we listen we must also be discerning and careful of who and what we listen to. Not every catchy tune that we stream or every well put together speech is worth listening to. Many dangerous and misleading things have sounded really good, but in the end lead to misery.

What are some things we can look for in deciding who or what to listen too?

Lastly in determining if a source is worth listening to or if something is true we can ask a simple question, “What is the source of your information?” If we receive an answer of “it is obvious” or “Everyone knows it is true” or something that is really questionable then we should be careful about listening. When we get the source we may need to do a little fact checking of our own. Look up what the source is, does it actually say what is reported, is the source a trust worthy source, does it contradict other sources we know are true especially sources such as The Torah or the rest of the Bible. If the answers to the questions are not acceptable then no matter how good the message sounded we should question whether it is true and good.

After we listen then we should be slow to speak. So what does slow to speak mean? It does not mean to speak slowly. It means we should take our time to speak in the sense of gathering our thoughts and getting together what we need to say. The thing about words is they are like sparks. We never know which one will start a fire and they are very easy to get out of control. How many of us have said something we later regretted? How many of us have ever said something we thought sounded good in our head, but as soon as it left our lips we realize the foolishness of it? How many of us have spoken in a way that while are words may not have been harsh our tone of voice or manner of speaking was? These instances could be considered not slow to speak.

There are many voices in the world today shouting for attention. Many of them are foolish. If we have something that is important to say how can we communicate in an effective manner?

Holy Scriptures: Tree of Life Version Chapter 4

29Let no harmful word come out of your mouth, but only what is beneficial for building others up according to the need, so that it gives grace to those who hear it

To begin with we could try speaking differently than others. We could be soft spoken with a voice that is full of compassion rather than condemnation. We could speak of things that are uplifting and constructive to improving life rather than being critical and demeaning of others.

If we are to truly be slow to speak then we must choose our words carefully. There is also a need to choose the content or subjects of our word carefully.

Holy Scriptures: Tree of Life Version Chapter 5

4Obscene, coarse, and stupid talk are also out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

We have been specifically told that some types of communication has no place among us. What exactly are these types of communication though? What is Obscene talk? What is coarse Talk? What is stupid talk? There is no place for discussion of in appropriate subjects, inappropriate language such as cussing, racial slurs or words that are out of place for the audience, as well this includes exaggerations or extremes.

What happens when we fail in these regards? What happens when we do not listen, but instead are in a hurry to speak? It leads to anger very quickly. The scriptures says something very interesting about anger.

Holy Scriptures: Tree of Life Version Chapter 16

32Better to be slow to anger

than a mighty warrior.

One who controls his temper is better

than one who conquers a city.

In our society and really every society since the beginning of time, being a mighty warrior or conqueror has been the model or example of heroes and leaders. Yet what does HaShem say? It is better to be slow to anger than either of those. Are we looking for the esteem of men or are we looking for the gladness of our heavenly father? If we are slow to anger it pleases him.

So what exactly is slow to anger? Sure it can be patient but is their anything more to this? It might mean looking for reasons not to be angry or looking for the good in difficult situations. This can be hard sometimes. What could be an example of slow to anger? What is an example of looking for the good in difficult situations?

The reality is this world is so full of anger especially right now. People are scared, frustrated, suspicious, and corrupt. All of this leads to anger. There is good anger and bad anger. Good anger is also called Righteous indignation. If you are angry because of a video game that is not righteous indignation. If you are angry because of someone cutting in line, getting the last piece of cake, or stepping on your foot, that also is not righteous indignation. If you are angry because someone said something you are offended by, it is probably not righteous indignation. While we are called to be slow to anger that does not mean that we cannot be angry.

When we see injustices or rampant SIN in the world, when abmoninations are done in public and when we see the blatant disregard and mocking of HaShem, it is appropriate to be angry or feel righteous indignation. We may also feel alot of other things to. That does not mean we have the ability to to act as we see fit or to be the executors of justice, rather even in these instances we are called to be gentle in speech and calm. We are too do all things in love and with forgiveness trusting that HaShem will institute justice and pour out his wrath either by his own hand or those that he has appointed for this purpose. In all things we should pray.

There is no problem that exists that did not first start as a word being spoken. The very first SIN in the Gan Eden was due to Hawwah or Eve listening to the wrong source. She listened to the Serpent and ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Even more so we should guard ourselves to only listen or see that which is good as often as is possible.

I want end with a section out of Proverbs 15. I think this really sets what we can expect when we are quick to listen, slow to speak , and slow to anger.

Holy Scriptures: Tree of Life Version Chapter 15

1A gentle answer turns away wrath,

but a harsh word stirs up anger.

2The tongue of the wise

treats knowledge correctly,

but the mouth of fools spouts folly.

3The eyes of ADONAI are everywhere,

observing the wicked and the good.

4A healing tongue is a tree of life,

but a deceitful one crushes the spirit.

5A fool despises his father’s discipline,

but one who accepts reproof is smart.

6The house of the righteous

has great wealth,

but the income of the wicked

brings trouble.

7The lips of the wise spread knowledge,

but not so the heart of fools.

8The sacrifice of the wicked

is an abomination to ADONAI,

but the prayer of the upright

pleases him.