My Family: It's a complicated relationship

Opening & Intro

Relationships recap

They help us find our full potential

Today we are talking about relationship dynamics in our families.

It’s a tricky topic to speak about because what if...

It’s especially tricky because I am speaking about this today with my daughter up in the balcony and both of my parents sitting right in front of me.

They can call me out if I am less than honest...

But seriously the title of today’s message is it’s complicated…Because it is...

Main Point

What if our relationship aren’t great?

What if they are abusive?

What if a parent ran out on their kid?

What if a kid has damaged their relationship witha parent?

What if a parent or their child has to cut the other out so they will seek help?

These are all questions that need an answer.

Why Does This Matter

If I say that no matter what we have to honour our mom or dad to someone who has been abused by their parent that has the potential to really hurt them.

This matters because we have to know how to A) Honour our parents and B) Not Exasperate our Children...

A tricky task indeed!

Our First scripture is...

Scripture

Exodus 20:12 NIV

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

What does this mean?

Luke 14:25–26 NIV

Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.

Okay wait Honour them or hate them which is it?

Illustration: Call to minitry...

OUr relationships with Jesus trumps our relationship with our parents

Infact our relationship with our parents is supposed to serve as an example of our relationship with God.

One person of the Trinity is literally God the Father, another is God the Son

This is not by accident.

The son is obedient to the father.

Luke 22:41–42 NIV

He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”

Interesting that Jesus said this...

This was the purpose of His arrival as the God-Man...

Do we think Mary, His Mother, wanted Jesus to be willingly crusified?

I am sure it wasn’t her desire to see her son suffer and die like that...

But she knew and even if she tried to talk him out of it…we know what he would have said to her...

He was going to be obedient to the will of His father.

This is our charge…Honour or father and Mother but not above God Himself.

Which leaves the question what if mom and dad are abusive or the relationship isn’t healthy?

The Bible has words for them as well...

Luke 11:9–13 NIV

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Fathers or parents need to attend to the needs of their children.

God is our good father and we should look to His example...

If we as sinners on earthc an give good gifts then imagine how good God is...

But we are a fallen people and sometimes parents miss the mark or don’t care about the mark...

Ephesians 6:1–4 NIV

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

We are told that our Children are to honour us.

Let’s make sure we are worthy of their honour.

Fathers are commanded not to agitate or irritate their children. The Greek word is parorgizete, which implies exasperation or frustration. In practice, this means avoiding unfair and cruel behavior, or blatant favoritism. Godly fathers are not to push their children toward anger. Anger can sometimes be a healthy emotion, yet can often lead to sin (Ephesians 4:26). Instead, fathers (parents) are given a positive command to "bring them up." In other words, Christians are expected to be highly involved in raising their own children. Two areas are mentioned. First, Paul includes discipline. Discipline involved learning self–control and the ability to restrain from personal desires in order to do what is right. Second, Paul adds the "instruction of the Lord." We should be involved in teaching our children about God's ways through both education and example.

Application

So What do we do with this?

Talk about it.

Closing

The role of the family is key to understanding the role of God in our lives.