Esteem Property

Sixth Commandment

Honor Marriage

Exodus 20:14

Like observing the Sabbath rest and honoring parents, this commandment originally was social legislation intended to protect those vulnerable in the society—in this case, women. In other societies at the time, men could grab any woman they wanted and treat her as property. Among God’s people, it would not be that way.

The command “You shall not commit adultery” (Ex 20:14) carried the severest penalty—death (Lev 20:10; Deut 22:22). As with the Fourth Commandment, it protected one of the “orders of creation” on which society stands. Honoring parents protected the family. Prohibiting adultery protected marriage. Without stable families and marriages, society disintegrates and self-destructs. True of the great Greek and Roman civilizations, and it is true of our American society.

We are sometimes asked why sexual sins should be treated more seriously than other sins. The reason is that this sin violates one of the fundamental orders of creation. The Sixth Commandment protects sexual intercourse with a marriage vow, primarily a control on males and a protection for women.

The Order of Creation

Adultery is having sex with anyone other than your marriage partner. I tell confirmation students,

“Even now you are called to be faithful to your spouse—even though you don’t know yet who he or she is. Your virginity is a gift you can give only once.”

Obviously, adultery is rampant in our society, along with the sexually transmitted diseases that go with it. This moral and physical decay will doom our society, as it has every sexually decadent society before us. Anthropologists, however, have pointed out one peculiarity of our society. Never before has a morally decadent society had cultural leaders who sought to treat decadence as normal and recognize it as legal. This is new in world history.

Despite rampant homosexuality, adultery, and promiscuity, the Greek and Roman societies always considered them perversions. The laws against them were never removed from the books, no matter how much they were flaunted.

Why? They recognized that an order of creation was at stake. The elite wanted to flaunt accepted morality for the sake of their own pleasures, but they sure hoped others wouldn’t. Otherwise, the order of creation would be undermined, and society would collapse.

The Order of the World

An over-correction of a false view of sex, the Ascetic View — a view of self-denial — has brought us to this point in society. In the ascetic view, bodily drives are bad. They divert from the real nature of man, which is spiritual. Sex is bad, because it satisfies a basic drive of the body. We see some of this ascetic view of sex in all religions. We see it in monastic orders. We see it in the requirement that “holy men” be celibate. A truly spiritual person will suppress all sexual feelings.

Obviously, this view is disrespect for a creation of God. In the beginning, God created them male and female (Gen 1:27), capable of having sex. Sex is a beautiful gift of God. It was not good for them to be alone (Gen 2:18).

God intends for us to be happy within the boundaries of His created order. He created us to rejoice before him. He created us to relax in his love. That is why he took the burden of sin from us. He paid for it, and it is over. Now he wants you to enjoy life. He wants you to enjoy the body he gave you. He wants you to enjoy your sexuality within the gift of Holy Matrimony.

But the current view of sex over-corrects the ascetic view.

This is Naturalist View which proclaims that we were created to enjoy sex, so let’s do it. In this view, the sex drive is part of our animal nature, so it needs to be experienced. It must not be denied. One should be free to do it any way, anytime, as long as no one gets hurt. A person’s needs are the judge of what is right and wrong. Anything that frustrates a person’s drives and fulfillment must be rejected. A person should be free to have sex anytime, anywhere, and any way—as long he or she feels good afterward.

That is what our rebellious, sinful heart tells us. It’s not peculiar to our age or society. David gave in to this naturalist philosophy when he took Uriah’s wife, the wife of one of his own soldiers, while that man was away at war. Satan says, “It’s just a one-night stand. I want it. She wants it. Nobody’s going to get hurt.”

The Consequences

But God will be hurt. Why? Because your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, as St. Paul reminds us:

“The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord” (1 Cor 6:13).

You will be hurt. “Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Cor 6:18).

The other person will be hurt. How can you lead him or her into sin as well? “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Cor 6:19–20).

And, it desecrates. Sexual intercourse was created by God to be shared between a man and woman, within the bounds of Holy Matrimony — this goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden. Therefore, sexual relations with an unmarried person or with another married person, dishonors and defiles Holy Matrimony.

These are such grave offenses because they do not just disrupt the peace of the family as a unit within the community of God; they also desecrate the holiness of that community (Hebrews 12:14-17). These offences also desecrate God’s holiness, which incur his wrath, for He is a consuming fire for anything that comes into His presence (Hebrews 12:29).

If all of this were not bad enough, left uncorrected, the heart hardens. It goes from one rebellion to another, from one defiance of God’s commandment to another. For example, David had Uriah killed so he could keep Bathsheba as his own.

The prophet Nathan boldly confronted David with his sin. David loved his Lord and confessed his sin. He prayed,

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love. . . . Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight. . . . Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. . . . Restore to me the joy of your salvation” (Ps 51:1, 4, 10, 12).

That’s the assurance for us as well. Sexual sin—no matter what it is—is not the unforgivable sin. Sexual problems do not make us unacceptable to God. They, too, are part of our fallen nature. The homosexual, the sexually immoral, those “living together”, and the unfaithful spouse are all still children of God. Jesus was the “friend of tax collectors and sinners” (Mt 11:19).

Now, there will be consequences, as with all sin—in our body, in our heart, in our self-respect, in our relationships. As Paul noted with Roman society in his time, “God gave them up to dishonorable passions, . . . receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error” (Rom 1:26–27). A spouse may not be able to forgive or to trust again. Children may not be able to forgive. The marriage may end in divorce. The individual may get sick with a disease. And, we may not be able to forgive ourselves.

When We Repent and Pray for a New Heart, Our Lord Jesus Hears Our Prayer.

But if we repent — that is, turn to God — he will take it as he has time and time again—whatever our sin. When we repent as King David did and pray for a new heart, we will receive it. Your sweet Savior Jesus took that sin with him to the cross. We may suffer earthly consequences of our sin, but the eternal consequences were absorbed by our Lord. We are forgiven. Our Lord is there to help us, for he loves us with all his heart.

Lead a Pure and Decent Life

One last word. This commandment is addressed to all people: adults, young people, and to people with sexual problems. Luther in his explanation put it this way: “We should fear and love God so that we lead a sexually pure and decent life in what we say and do” (Luther’s Small Catechism, p. 14). We need to ask ourselves some questions. I’m not being legalistic here, but just pointing out some traps that Satan uses to bait us:

Do I watch the pornography and near-pornography so prevalent on the television screen and the big screen?

Do I laugh at and tell dirty jokes?

Do I flirt at work?

Do I dress or talk provocatively?

Do I lead a “pure and decent life”?

Do I respect sexuality and its power for good and for evil?

In a confirmation textbook I have used, sex is described as a mighty river. Channeled properly, it is a source of great good. Outside proper channels, it can destroy everybody and everything in its path.

How do you channel your sexuality?

How do you encourage others to channel theirs?

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.