3b The Christian Life Means Loving Until It Hurts

This week we will continue to look at out study of Standing Firm. If you recall last week we talked about Sacrificial Love as part of Loving until it hurts. Tonight we will look at Sanctifying Love as part of the Christian Life.

Sanctifying Love

We turn to another pivotal moment between Christ and His disciples for a second example of loving until it hurts. The Lord’s words in Matthew 18 show us that our love must be not only sacrificial but also sanctifying.

Matthew 18 is a powerful chapter, worthy of careful attention. Portions of this chapter, of course, are very familiar to us. We have heard about becoming like children to enter the kingdom. We know what to do if our hand or foot causes us to stumble. We remember the story about the man with a hundred sheep and the one that went astray. We’ve read Christ’s words about rebuking a sinning brother, the conversation with Peter about forgiving seventy times seven, and the convicting parable about the man who was forgiven much but refused to forgive little. These are all familiar to us, but there is a tendency for them to become disconnected and disjointed and therefore misunderstood.

Before examining the passage more closely, let’s consider the larger context of the book.

What would you say the context of Matthew is? What are some highlights of the book?

Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7)

The gospel of Matthew features the greatest sermons ever preached by Jesus. The first and most familiar is called the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5– 7), which exposes the apostate religion that dominated Judaism at the time. Some have mistaken the Sermon on the Mount for a simple treatise on Christian ethics, but it’s much more than that. It’s a message that identifies man’s inability to achieve God’s holy standard. It’s a gospel call to lead people from the false religion of works-righteousness to their true need for God’s grace.

Discipleship in Matthew 10

Moving forward through the gospel of Matthew, the Lord identifies His disciples and then launches into a sermon on the topic of discipleship in chapter 10. In chapter 13, we encounter His monumental sermon on the parables of the kingdom, designed to help His disciples and us understand the character of the age in which we do gospel ministry. Matthew chapter 23 contains a most notable diatribe— a condemning sermon against the religious leaders of Israel, in which Jesus calls them “blind guides” (v. 16) and “whitewashed tombs” (v. 27). That sermon, preached on the grounds of the temple, was Christ’s fiercest denunciation of Israel’s religious elite. Finally, we come to chapters 24 and 25 of Matthew’s gospel, containing the Lord’s sermon on His second coming, called the Olivet Discourse, because it was delivered on the side of the Mount of Olives.

In the midst of those landmark sermons, we can lose sight of Matthew 18, which is a crucial sermon on God’s love for His people and the priority He places on their purity. It’s a portrait of the sanctifying love that should be evident among God’s people— love that builds up, that takes sin seriously, that loves and protects the body of Christ, and that, when necessary, confronts the sin in its midst.

The Childlikeness of Believers

The scene begins when the disciples are again arguing about who is the greatest in the kingdom.

Matthew 18:1–6 ESV

1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” 2 And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them 3 and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, 6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

Look at Verse 1, what did the disciples expect of Jesus here?

Verse 1 says, “At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, ‘Who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’” They expected Him to identify one of them, but Jesus used their infighting and pride to teach them a lesson. These events likely took place in Capernaum.

In typical fashion, how did Jesus respond?

Matthew records that Jesus “called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, ‘Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven’” (vv. 2– 3). As usual, the disciples were indulging their pride, looking forward to the prominence and exaltation they expected to enjoy in Christ’s kingdom. Instead, Jesus stunned them by saying that they would not even enter His kingdom unless they became like children.

What was Jesus saying?

Simply this: little children have achieved nothing. They give nothing and they do nothing; they just make demands. They have no accomplishments to point to or credentials to tout. They are utterly incapable of survival on their own, thus totally dependent. In the same sense, the kingdom of heaven is not all about how much you have achieved; rather, it’s about knowing what you cannot achieve. In fact, if your eyes are trained on your accomplishments, your greatness, and your exaltation, there is no place for you in Christ’s kingdom to begin with.

The Lord continues in verse 4, “Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” He says the greatest is the most humble. That must have sent ripples of shocked embarrassment through the crowd. These grown men should have been shamed out of their endless pursuit of preeminence, but we’ve already seen that this trend continued virtually all the way to the cross.

Verse 5 turns an important corner: “And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me.” Note that Jesus is not talking about physical infants in this verse; He’s talking about spiritual children— believers— who are the children of the kingdom of heaven. And we must recognize that all the other children in the kingdom, all our brothers and sisters in Christ, are one with Christ. In fact, Jesus says in Matthew 25: 40, “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” Therefore, how we treat other believers is how we treat Christ, as He is perpetually present in them. Showing sanctifying love to one another in God’s family means we recognize Christ in each other, and that we love and serve one another accordingly.

Taking Sin Seriously

Matthew 18:6 ESV

6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

But it’s not just about a brotherly reception; Christ commands us to protect each other as well. “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matt. 18: 6). Again, Jesus is not talking about actual children; He’s referring to believers. And what does it mean to cause them to stumble? It means to trip them up and cause them to fall into sin, either by direct solicitation or indirectly by pushing their buttons to evoke a sinful response. It’s also possible to cause another believer to stumble simply by setting a bad example. It could also be through the misuse of your liberty in Christ that you lead another Christian into sin. Or it could be a simple sin of omission— by failing to do what is right, you could encourage others to show the same careless disregard on that point of obedience. Regardless of how it happens, we need to appreciate the danger of leading God’s children into sin. Jesus says it would be better for us to be horrifically drowned.

To put it another way, Christ is commanding us to prioritize the purity and holiness of His people. We need to love one another in a way that protects and promotes sanctification. Rather than causing each other to stumble, we work to build one another up in godliness and love for the truth.

Matthew 18:7–9 ESV

7 “Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes! 8 And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. 9 And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.

We also need to avoid the world’s attempts to inhibit our growth in godliness. In verse 7, Jesus says, “Woe to the world for the temptations of sins!” God’s children need to be aware of the temptations, or stumbling blocks, the world will hurl into our paths. We need to watch out for the world’s attempts to seduce us with what 1 John 2: 16 tells us

1 John 2:16 ESV

16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.

We expect the world to be a solicitor for wickedness and to do anything and everything to seduce believers away from obedience to God. As Christ says:

Matthew 18:7 ESV

7 “Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes!

God keeps detailed accounts, even with the world, and judgment will fall on those who seduce His children and stifle their spiritual growth.

What is Christ really saying in verses 8 and 9? What is his root message here?

In verses 8 and 9, the Lord delivers His graphic exhortation for believers to remove the stumbling blocks and sinful temptations from their own lives. He says:

Matthew 18:8–9 ESV

8 And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. 9 And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.

Jesus is not commanding actual physical dismemberment here; literally cutting off a limb or plucking out an eye would not correct anything in the heart. Instead, He’s explaining that sin is so serious it must be dealt with drastically and thoroughly. It’s a dramatic way to say, “Deal with your sin before it leads to destruction.”

Sanctifying love takes sin seriously. It refuses to toy with temptation in our own hearts or to carelessly lead other believers into sin and rebellion.

God’s Pursuit of His People

Matthew 18:10–14 ESV

10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. 12 What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? 13 And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. 14 So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.

Can someone read verse 11 for me?

Just take note that there is a textual variant here. Some manuscripts have another sentence in there that says “For the Son of man came to save the lost.” The earliest manuscripts do not contain that verse so the ESV decided to leave it out. I also want to quickly point out that the NASB 1995 edition has verse 11, but the most recent update does not. Either way, does the inclusion or exclusion of this verse change the meaning? No

Back to our main thread tonight, Jesus after establishing the priority of purity, circles back to God’s love for His children in verse 10. He says,

Matthew 18:10 ESV

10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.

The idea here is that we are not to look down on God’s people or think of them as inferior to ourselves. Partiality has no place in the household of God— we should not be attempting to one-up or outdo each other. This rebuke was particularly poignant for the disciples, who had just been arguing over their own positions in the kingdom. Their incessant ambition only served to belittle their fellow disciples, stoking their jealousy and stirring up resentment in their ranks. Instead of desiring elevated honor, they should have been building up each other.

In the same way, we must be careful how we treat God’s beloved children, because all heaven is preoccupied with their care. The Father is looking at His children, and the angels are watching the face of the Father so that they can immediately be dispatched to the aid of that believer. We need to realize there is a heavenly audience always observing our dealings with one another. When we’re tempted to think no one else is looking, we need to remember the accountability we have in heaven. God is paying close attention to how His children treat each other.

And what happens when one of them wanders away? Matthew records a familiar parable from Christ:

Matthew 18:12 ESV

12 What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray?

When a child disappears, the rest of the family frantically scours the house, the block, and the neighborhood until they find him. But in the church, we often fail to show the same care and concern for our spiritual family.

How do we handle it when someone leaves the church?

When someone leaves the church, we can be tempted to think: “Well, he was always a problem. He never quite got it. It’s probably a good thing he moved on to another church.” We cannot think so dismissively about God’s children. We need to show the same passionate care and concern that their heavenly Father shows for them— the same He shows for us, as well. That’s one of the reasons why large churches must work hard to integrate new people into small groups, so that they’re not just nameless faces in the crowd. We need to be diligent in getting to know the fellow believers God has placed in our midst— to know where they are spiritually and know what’s going on in their lives in order to better support and stimulate their spiritual growth.

God didn’t save us and call us into His eternal family just to have us wander aimlessly, surviving on inconsistent spiritual sustenance and never belonging to a local church body. Such meandering is dangerous to our spiritual growth. As Jesus explained in verse 14:

Matthew 18:14 ESV

14 So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.

In this context what does “perish” mean?

In this context, “perish” is not referring to death or destruction. Rather, it’s a reference to the way falling into sin destroys the believer’s usefulness to the work of the kingdom. It also corrupts his relationships, primarily with God but also with other believers.

Showing sanctifying love means that, like God, we are grieved when believers fall into sin— and that we rejoice along with Him when the stray sheep is brought home (v. 13).

We will continue our look at sanctifying love next week examining how we deal with those who sin against us. But let us never forget that we need to take sin seriously and God pursues his people to return them to the fold. Let us pray.