Wisdom in Conflict

In the Bible, Jesus gave us this blessing of hope: He said that, whenever two or more are gathered in my name, there I will be as well. Its a promise of his presence for guidance and ministry through the people of the local church. However, in college some smart alec made a little riff off this quotation. He said, maybe but where two or more are gathered there will inevitably be a mess. In life, conflict is inevitable. Its just part of life. It can even become a source of good things, if we do it right.

Proverbs 12:18 ESV

18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

There are a lot of components that contribute to conflict. However, the one I’d like to focus on today is specifically the things we say.

You see, what we say, and more importantly, how we say it, are the number one influencer for conflict.

Proverbs 15:1 ESV

1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:4 ESV

4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Attitude and Tone

Word Choice

Believe it or not, the way we say things has an impact on what people hear us say. Its not just about the words that we speak, its about how we convey it. Everything from our posture, to the volume, intensity, and tone of our voice. Everything says something. All these things either convey either respect, or disrespect. Reconciliation or division. This lesson isn’t just for teens, its for adults too.

Proverbs 15:2 ESV

2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.

Listen for truth

Proverbs 20:5 ESV

5 The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.

If something seems unreasonable, its probably not the real problem. Stress and hurt over bigger issues can often manifest around small things. It takes time and patience. Sometimes you need to sit with them. Be patient with them. Don’t take it personal, it’s probably something bigger. Sometimes its something big that we have done, sometimes its something big from somewhere else.

Application

Proverbs 15:28 ESV

28 The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

1. Consider if your should respond.

2. Consider how to respond.

Bessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God!