A Happy Few

Introduction

Opening Story: Geese flying in V formation. In the fall of every year, Canadian Geese fly south to avoid the cold. When they do it’s in a V formation. Scientists have observed that they fly in this formation for two reasons. One is to conserve energy. The goose that flies behind another flies slightly above them making it possible to draft off of the one in front of them, causing them to conserve energy. The second reason is that it helps the geese keep in better contact and communication with the other. When a goose gets tired it will fall to the back of the formation to conserve energy. When one gets hurt or sick and has to go to the ground, they will never go by themselves, another goose will go with it and will be with them until they are better and will then join another flock.

Point: Geese teach us a lot about friendship. For they understand that it is almost impossible to get to their desired destination in isolation. They must travel together.

Creating the Need:

I want to talk to you about friendship, about the joy of finding your own V Formation of friends. Don’t need to convince you of friendship. We all get that.

We all yearn for friendship. Our yearning is actually an expression of the imago dei. The garden/creation account. It’s good…it’s good…it’s very good. It’s not good- to be alone. This was said before the fall. Our need for horizontal relationships with one another is not the result of sin, but how God has made us. A person who says they don’t need people is speaking out of depravity.

We do, however, need to be convinced of the fact that you and I will never occupy God’s desired destiny for our lives without a happy few, without the V Formation of Friendship.

The Problem:

The buffered self, where the dream is to live in a society where each of us live how we want, totally unencumbered by others (tolerance)

This leads us to look inward for meaning. “At the heart of liberty is the right to define one’s own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and the mystery of human life”- Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy.

This leads us to the centrality of accomplishment. Success is not measured by relationships by by individual achievement. In a recent Harvard Grad School study they asked 10k middle/high school students which their parents preferred from them, personal achievement or being kind. 80% personal achievement.

David Brooks concludes: “Our society suffers from a crisis of connection, a crisis of solidarity. We live in a culture of hyper-individualism. There is always a tension between self and society, between the individual and the group. Over the past sixty years we have swung too far toward the self. The only way out is to rebalance, to build a culture that steers people toward relation, community, and commitment- the things we most deeply yearn for, yet undermine with our hyper-individualistic way of life”- David Brooks, The Second Mountain.

Personal Illustration of my life up until 40, and my decision when I turned 40. My happy few picture. SOMETHING WAS MISSING AND I KNEW I COULDN’T GET THERE WITHOUT FRIENDS. A CRISIS OF TELOS.

HISTORICAL CONTEXT: TELL STORY. CHAPTERS 16-17, DAVID’S RIDING HIGH. CHAPTER 18 HE DOESN’T KNOW IT BUT HE’S ABOUT TO BE THROWN INTO SOME DARK TIMES, CRISIS. SAUL WILL TRY TO KILL HIM MULTIPLE TIMES. WILL HAVE TO LIVE AS A FUGITIVE. RIGHT AS HE GOES INTO ALL OF THAT, GOD GIVES HIM A FRIEND. THIS PASSAGE THEREFORE IS NOT ULTIMATELY ABOUT TIPS ON HOW TO GET FRIEND. MUST BE SEEN IN LIGHT OF THE PROVIDENCE OF GOD! GOD UNDERSTANDS THAT DAVID WILL NOT OCCUPY WHAT HE HAS FOR HIM WITHOUT A FRIEND. WE WILL NOT FULLY OCCUPY WHAT GOD HAS FOR US ON OUR OWN. SHOW ME YOUR FRIENDS AND I WILL SHOW YOU YOUR FUTURE.

BIBLICAL EXAMPLES. RUTH/BOAZ. JESUS/DISCIPLES. BARNABAS/PAUL.

LIKE DAVID, ALL OF US WILL EXPERIENCE LIFE’S VALLEYS. CRISIS IS JUST A PART OF THE JOURNEY! CRISIS HEIGHTENS OUR NEED FOR FRIENDSHIP. FYODOR D. ILLUSTRATION. HOW COMMUNITIES SET UP. MAY NOT NEED TO USE THIS.

IF FRIENDSHIP IS ESSENTIAL THEN WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?

Transparency- Verse 1

Explanation: Tell the story. David has just defeated Goliath. Standing there with the head in his hand. Soul means the essence of who we are. The breath, the animating force of life. Was knit is a word that means to tie. Story of Tamar having twins, one reached out its hand and the midwife tied a scarlet string. That’s the word used here for knit. It means to tie. The sense is a connection. Immediately they sense a connection with one another.

Analogies: We’ve all experienced this. Maybe that’s your spouse. First time you met, there’s just this connection. You just clicked. Stories of people who met for the first time and stayed up all night talking. They can’t explain it, they just clicked. The worst is the reverse when you have a couple over and the wife clicks and you don’t. LOL.

But there’s more. Notice the connection is at the deepest and most intimate place. Soul. And this is how they communicate. I Samuel 20:41; 2 Samuel 1, there’s deep transparency.

Medical profession operates this way. A healthy relationship with a doctor when I’m hurting means that there must be transparency. MRI. CT Scan. X Rays. All instruments of transparency.

Application: Communication pyramid. Who do you lie at levels 4-5 with? Those are your friends.

Commitment- Verse 3

Explanation: Tell the story. Several times it says that Jonathan loves David. Then verse 3- he made a covenant with David. A binding agreement between two parties, with one party often having the higher status in the arrangement. Covenants were normally ratified by blood. The word “made” means to cut. Jonathan cuts himself and enters into a committed friendship with David. And Jonathan has all the status. This relationship is not about what I can get. It’s not a contract, it’s not about your performance. I’m ride or die. WE SEE JONATHAN BE THERE FOR DAVID AT HIS HIGHEST MOMENTS (OUR TEXT) AND HIS LOWEST MOMENTS IN CHAPTER 23, WHERE HE WENT TO HIM WHILE HE WAS ON THE RUN TO STRENGTHEN HIM IN THE LORD.

DARRIN PATRICK ILLUSTRATION: CALLED HIM WHEN HE MADE A MESS. WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS.

COVENANTS VS. CONTRACTS. SEE VERSE 2- SAUL. ODD, WHY IS THAT HERE? WELL IT PRESENTS US WITH TWO PARADIGMS FOR RELATIONSHIPS:

SAUL’S TAKE/JONATHAN’S GIVE

SAUL’S HAVE HIDDEN AGENDA’S/JONATHAN’S ARE TRANSPARENT.

SAUL’S ARE SELFISH/JONATHAN’S SACRIFICE.

SAUL’S KILL/JONATHAN’S PROTECT

SAUL’S SEEK TO DERAIL FROM DESTINY/JONATHAN’S WANT TO FULFILL DESTINY.

Sacrifice- Verse 4

Explanation: Tell story. He strips himself of his robe. Some scholars say that this is a gesture of him giving up the throne. Giving up his sword was an act of vulnerability, where he was putting his life on the line. One commentator writes, “The action of Jonathan giving David his robe and armor is a dramatic act that seems to transfer to David Jonathan’s right to claim the throne”- Walter Brueggemann. Point: whatever the intricacies, what cannot be missed is that Jonathan is communicating that he cares just as much, if not more, about David’s success than his success.

Maya Moore Illustration

Application: We have been duped into thinking that the path to fulfillment is through personal gratification. When it is the opposite. The path to fulfillment is through sacrifice. Putting others needs above our own. We find ourselves when we lose ourselves.

Gospel Conclusion: Jesus being the true and better Jonathan. John 15 and his friendship and sacrifice. his