Love is

John Meckley to talk about the men’s Bible studies and men’s breakfasts.

Well, I cannot begin to tell you all how excited and blessed and happy I am to be back up here with you and to be able to deliver the Word of God to you again! Or, as Gene Autry sang, I’m, “Back in the Saddle Again”. And technically, for those of us who are younger than the Autry days, there was also a rock band who sang about being about being “Back in the Saddle”, but that’s neither here, nor there!

The point being, the Lord has been very gracious and kind to me and my family during this time of transition and healing and during this whole process, you guys were blessed to be in the very capable hands of several ministers of the gospel in my stead, AMEN?!!!

All that being said, let’s down to business this morning!

Let me warm up your brains with a few riddles this morning, to get things going.

What is greater than god, more evil than the devil; the poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it, you will die? (Answer: NOTHING)

We see it once in a year, twice in a week, and never in a day. What is it? (Answer: The letter “E”)

I hurt the most when lost, yet also when not had at all. I’m sometimes the hardest to express, but the easiest to ignore. I can be given to many, or just one. What am I? (Answer: LOVE)

And it’s this last little riddle and its answer, that we will be focusing upon today and most likely into the next week, or two.

Love.....................We are going to be looking at the subject of LOVE for the next two or three messages. In these messages we are going to differentiate LOVE from the world’s understanding of this word vs that of what the Bible says. But we are also going to look at LOVE, as it pertains to: 1) God specifically and His great love and then also 2)The believer and as to what the Bible says about us and the perfect LOVE of God in our lives and how that will look.

I did a message years ago, where I talked about the subject of our being “wired for love”, or more specifically, that we were “created for love”. And in that message, I went into some detail about how that the Lord created humanity with a, innate physiological system that is literally designed to love others!

Now, for sake of time and because that is not the prime focus of this message today, I’m not going to go into all of the details of the stages of love and the physiological responses of the human body to those stages. But I will give to you a few details right now about how we were created, that prove that our creator wanted us to experience LOVE in this natural life of ours and in a variety of ways.

There are three recognized physiological stages of love, as far as the human body is concerned, they are: 1) Lust, 2) Attraction and 3)Attachment.

In each of these stages, our bodies release a series of chemicals into our systems, that have a profound effect upon us and our relationships with others.

Chemicals which were designed by God almighty within our natural bodies.

To keep it simple, the initial phase of falling in love, is known as the “lust” phase, and it’s a physical attraction to someone; plain and simple. It’s that deer in the headlights look that I guy, or a girl gets, whenever they see that certain someone that just really catches their eye and makes their heart start racing!

This whole process is driven by the two prime hormones: testosterone and estrogen.

And the lust phase is so readily named this, because it is all “physical” in nature and nothing else.

Next, is the attraction phase. This phase is closely related to the lust phase because some of the chemicals from the body from both phases, intermingle with one another in this stage; especially early on.

It’s during this stage, as you are spending more and more time together with that special someone, that your brain begins to dump the neuro-chemical, dopamine into your system.

Dopamine is a pleasure chemical that your brain produces and it gives a pleasurable and euphoric feeling to you!

This is why you feel like you’re on cloud nine, when you are in that person’s presence, because the dopamine is being dumped into your system!

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in the human body that is closely related to pleasure, which is why so many drug addictions are formed, because the certain drugs cause large amounts of this chemical to be dumped into person’s brain!

Dopamine is also involved in the focus and attention of an individual.

So, when your brain is pumping out the dopamine, you can only focus on that person and nothing more, or no one else!

And because of this, along with another chemical in the body, norepinephrine, being dumped into your body, you find your heart racing, your palms sweaty and your appetite gone, a lot of the time!

And this concoction of body chemicals, along with the neurotransmitter, serotonin, cause the profound effect of buffering our pre-frontal cortex.

Basically, when this happens, your rational judgement and critical thinking, shut down.

This is where the phrase, “love is blind” comes from!

Finally, we have the phase of love known as the attachment phase. This is more of what you should find within the marriage aspect of a healthy, godly relationship!

In this stage, sexual intimacy should occur. And note that I stress this phase should happen within a marriage, and not as the world says it should occur.

The world teaches that this is to occur at any point between any two people and between either of the two sexes.

Whether you’re on your first date, or your 20th, the world and its system, stresses that sexual intimacy is completely healthy at anytime and with anyone.

And if the sexual part starts outside of the marriage and during the lust, or attraction phases, from that point on, you have a whole concoction of stuff being dumped into your system and you become a wreck!

If however, you follow God’s plan and save the intimacy of sex for the marriage bed, then your bodies naturally produce the chemicals, oxytocin and vasopressin and in the order of release on which they should be occurring.

Both of these, but especially the oxytocin in the woman, have the profound effect of producing a natural bond between the man and the woman!

The world stresses that we should just bypass everything and go straight for the physical, sexual pleasure. As soon as that happens, there is a chemical bond formed between the two, especially in the woman.

And that bond is then labeled and deduced to be, none other than, you guessed it, “LOVE”.

The man or woman says, “I’m in love”, because of this deluge of chemicals being poured into, his/her system and all of the “feel good” chemical that their bodies are producing during that time!

And the result is a recipe for disaster!

How many broken marriages and extremely violent relationships have come from this holocaust that we call LOVE?!

And how many men and women and young men and young women, have developed a horrible taste in their mouths for the subject of LOVE, when, in actuality, love never actually played a part in that relationship.

It was all just a bunch of chemically driven responses, that wreaked havoc on our minds and our bodies, and all because we were going after sexual, physical pleasure, period!

You see dear friends, in our society today, we are taught that sex and love go hand in hand!

But that is only a fractional, partial truth and nothing anywhere near to the truth of the word LOVE, as God designed for us!

Hollywood and the music industries are constantly shoving that warped image of sex as love, down our throats!

And when you confuse sex, as being true love, and you keep repeating that pattern, then you are NEVER, EVER, EVER going to find true and lasting love with another person!

True LOVE, lasting LOVE, abiding and eternal LOVE, has nothing to do with sexual pleasure and physical satisfaction.

In the Greek language, there are four words that are used in dealing with subject of LOVE. Now I know that we have discussed these before, but for clarity and so that I know that everyone is on the same page, we are going to mention these words and their meanings, again right now.

The first of these four words for love in the Greek, is the word, “eros”, and it is from this word, that we get our word, “erotic”. Thus, this the form of love that deals with sexual, sensual pleasure. (i.e. strictly physical and shallow)

Eros is normal and healthy within the confines of a healthy marriage, as God designed it, between one man and one woman. But even then, this type of love is never going to sustain or grow a healthy and lasting marriage! It does enhance the marriage and the bonding of the husband and the wife and God gave it to the marriage for that reason, because He loves us!

But a marriage that is based largely upon the physical, sensual aspects, is shallow has no foundation to grow upon.

The word for love, “eros”, is never used in the New Testament, by the way.

The next word in the Greek language for love, is the word, “storge”.

And it describes family love; the affectionate bond that develops naturally between husbands and wives, parents and children, and brothers and sisters.

This is normal and healthy between family members and it’s a more intimate and lasting form of love, than eros.

As with “eros” you won’t actually find the word “storge” being used in the New Testament, but you will find some interesting variations of this word, as in Romans 12:10 and Romans 1:31.

And next on the list of words used for “love” in the Greek, is the word, “philia”.

Philia refers to brotherly love and is most often exhibited in a close friendship.

It refers to love based on mutual respect, shared devotion, joint interests, and common values.

It is this form of love that most readily exists between those in the body of Christ and in most of our personal, close friendships.

You find this particular love in such verses as Hebrews 13:1, which states, “Let brotherly love continue”.

Or in II Peter 1:7, where we read, “And godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.”

And it’s this form of love, where many, many of us get hung up and stuck, in terms of of our growth in the Lord and as we strive to become more and more like the Christ!

That last word for love is, “agape” love!

Agape love is completely different from all other forms of love. Every other form of love, as we have just looked at here, very briefly, have a “self” component to them.

Let me explain what I mean when I say that there is a “self” component to every other form of love besides “agape” love.

Each one of the other forms of love that we just looked at, are in some way looking out for the well being and self satisfaction and gratification of ourselves!

Eros, the sensual, physical form of love, is completely self-serving and is all about me and what I want and how it makes me feel.

There is nothing sacrificial, or self-less about eros!

Even when one person convinces the other that becoming sexually intimate will enhance their relationship and make their “love” stronger, it is still a self serving mechanism on both parts.

To the one who is trying to deceive the other into entering into a sexual relationship, the part of self-serving gratification is easy to see on their part.

It’s the other person though, the one who makes the decision to allow the sexual intimacy to begin who is also acting out of self and from their own selfish motives.

That person is desiring a physical relationship with the other person that “they” want! It’s something that they want to see happen because they desire it and whatever form of well being they think that it will bring into their own life.

Even at the cost of their own morals and their physical well being and their own peace of mind, they will compromise and allow it to happen, because it gives them something that they want for their own life, that they haven’t received from somewhere else!

Which is what they perceive to be “love” and a close relationship with another person!

And when love demands from you that you belittle and compromise your well being and morals for the pleasure of another, then their is no true, lasting LOVE in that at all!

Storge and philia are also not exempt from the issue of “self gratification”.

In both families, as well as friendships, people tend to impose rules and terms and limits upon one another, so that the relationship and the “love” can continue.

Some family members are notorious to tell one another, “Well, I’m your (mother, father, brother, sister, etc.) and thus you should want to do “.........” for me, if you love me!”

And in doing so, the “self- serving” aspect is shown.

Philia, “brotherly love” is no different.

How many of you have friends, or even close relationships within the body of Christ, where the other person plays the friend card, in order to play upon your sympathy, or emotions in order to get you to do something?

Or even by virtue of position and title, some people will impose their self-seeking will in the relationship on another.

“I’m your pastor and your friend and I think that it would be nice of you would do ............. for me!”

Can you see the “self-serving” part of these?

But, that is not what “agape” love is and that is not what “agape” love looks like!

Agape love is, in the simplest definition, a sacrificial love that voluntarily suffers inconvenience, discomfort, and even death for the benefit of another without expecting anything in return. It is the highest of the four types of love mentioned, or referred to in the Bible.

And it’s because of this, that we understand, that “agape” love and its verb form, “agapao”, is truly the love that comes from God. It is His love for us! Agape love seeks the benefit and well being and good of the other, and not of one’s self!

Just a little Biblical history for you, since we are talking about LOVE in the Bible. Did you know, that this word for love, “agape” was not originally used by the original Bible translators? It’s well known that the Greek word for love in the New Testament, agapē, was not previously in common use.

In fact, the writers of the New Testament, took this seemingly unknown Greek word and adopted it for the love of God, because of what Jesus did for us on that cross! It’s almost as if they had to create a word to express the love of God accurately, for the Bible text!

This word which refers to the perfect love of God, occurs some 116 times in the New Testament; 75 of those uses are found within the writings of the apostle Paul himself and his letters to the new Christian believers!

Paul, because of the profound effect that the “agape” love of Jesus had upon his life, understood in his writings, (as inspired by Holy Spirit), that every new believer, as well as every other Christian, needed to here and be reminded and lay hold of the understanding of this love that the Father has for His children!!

Especially in the day and time of the Greek and Roman cultures, where “love” was some sensual act that was diluted in pagan worship and carried out in some hedonistic manner.

Not really much different than how love is viewed in this nation today by millions!

And just as Paul stressed and emphasized to the new Christians at that time, who were coming out of a warped culture of love, as to what true love, God’s love, “agape” love, looked like and how it should become a part of their own life, so today, do we need to get back to that very crucial understanding!

People need to hear the TRUTH today, now more than ever in this nation, about the love of God and what His perfect Word says about His great love that He has for us!!

Two of the greatest epistles in the Bible that speak of the “agape” love of almighty God, are that of I Corinthians 13 and the book 1 John 2-4.

1 Corinthians 13, which is commonly referred to by many as the “love” chapter of the Bible, shows us what true “agape” love looks like in action in the life of a believer. 1 John 2-4, expresses to us the true depth and nature of the love of God and also how we are to respond to that love. I will talking more about 1 Corinthians 13 next week.

Turn with me to the epistle of 1 John 4:7-10, 16, and let’s read this together.

In talking about the love of God, it’s a struggle to teach about that love in a message, or a series of messages, or even a life-long series of messages, because His love is beyond what we can explain or really, completely comprehend and express in teachings!

And so, I wanted to point out a few things to you about His love that need to have some clarification and emphasis.

OK, so does everyone have their Bibles turned to 1 John 4:7-10, 16 ? Then let’s begin reading together.

1 John 4:7–10 (NLT)

7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.

8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him.

10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

1 John 4:16 (NLT)

16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.

OK, so from these verses, let me ask you a few questions.

Where does love, “agape” (perfect, pure, self-less, sacrificial) love come from? (From God!)

How do we show that we are a child of God? (By loving one another as He loves us!)

How did God show us His “agape” love? (By sending His one and only Son into this world to redeem us!)

Finally, what do these verses say that God is? (God is LOVE!)

God is LOVE! He is also, merciful and gracious and forgiving and all powerful and all knowing and omnipresent and unchangeable in all of His ways!

And so, yes, to say that God is “agape” (love), is correct and it is Biblical and accurate.

And people love to hear about and sing about and meditate upon, the great love of God!

And rightly so, because there is nothing else like His perfect and pure love!

But there is also another side of His love that we must understand and stress to those who we witness to.

People talk a lot about the “unconditional” love of God. I have seen and heard people, when they are witnessing to others and preaching to others, speak continually and emphatically, about the “unconditional” love of God to the unbelievers.

Are they wrong in saying that the love of God is unconditional? No.........or at least in one sense they are not wrong at all in saying this. There is nothing that you or I can do to change the love of God that He has for you and I. We cannot buy it, earn it, add to it, or take away from it! His perfect love for us is everlasting and unchanging.

A.W. Tozer said, “Were all human beings suddenly to become blind, still the sun would shine by day and the stars by night, for these owe nothing to the millions who benefit from their light. So, were every man on earth to become atheist, it could not affect God in any way. He is what He is in Himself without regard to any other. To believe in Him adds nothing to His perfections; to doubt Him takes nothing away.”

In other words, it matters not whether you believe in God, don’t believe in God, whether you love God, or hate God, nothing we do can change who and what He is!

He and He alone is the one true God and nothing about His nature and His character and His attributes depends upon, or is altered by us in any way.

And as far as that goes, there is no power in existence in the heavens, or on this earth, that can change who God is and the love that He has for us!!

But we need to be very careful when we tell others that God loves them “unconditionally” and that He loves them right where they are and just as they are in their lives!

That His love accepts them as they are and that Jesus paid the price for their sins on the cross, so that they can just simply say, “God I want you and I want to be saved” and then they walk right on into the kingdom of God!

And all because, “He loves you unconditionally!”

Understand this, John 3:16 is true and it shows the unconditional love of God for all humanity.

1 John 4:19 says that “we love Him, because He FIRST loved us!”

And He proved His love for us, by sending His son. We did nothing to earn this, it was because of the unconditional love that the Father has for His creation.

Romans 5:8 says, “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

What we deserve is death, but what He offers us, is life!

And people need to understand that gospel message and the love that God offers to those who will come to Him, are contingent upon the very thing that Jesus started His earthly ministry saying, which was, “REPENT, for the kingdom of God is at hand!”

God and His love will never overlook unrepentant sin! A person cannot come into the kingdom of God unless they are cleansed by the blood of Jesus and the only way that you can become washed by the His blood and become a new creature (not the same old you), but a new creature, is you MUST REPENT of your sin!

That is the condition that needs to be stressed to a lost and dying world around us! You, me, all of us were born into sin, slaves to sin and hopelessly lost without a savior!

And the only way to enter into the full love of God for eternity, is believe the gospel message, repent of your sin and walk away from it and begin walking in the life of faith that Jesus calls us to in Him and by His Holy Spirit that He place within us!

Those are the conditions!

Let me give you an example of what I am referring to real quick, as to how “Christians” are portraying the LOVE of God and that it is “unconditional”.

In a recent interview on Apple Music's LGBTQ-themed Proud Radio station, six-time Grammy Award-winning artist and contemporary Christian music icon Amy Grant, who is celebrating the 30th anniversary of her best-selling album, Heart in Motion, said the following in her interview this past month.

She said, "Who loves us more than the one who made us? None of us are a surprise to God. Nothing about who we are or what we've done. That's why, to me, it's so important to set a welcome table. Because I was invited to a table where someone said, 'don't be afraid, you're loved.'… Gay. Straight. It does not matter. It doesn't matter how we behave. It doesn't matter how we're wired,"

The award-winning singer continued arguing that we are "all our best selves when we believe to our core, 'I'm loved.'"

The man who was interviewing Grant, was an openly gay man and after the interview, he made the following statement, “But, to hear Amy say on this episode that I am welcome at God's table as a gay man is so affirming. Thank you, Amy Grant. You've changed my life in so many ways. God has worked many of Her greatest wonders in my life through you. (I call God "She" to fight the patriarchy.)," he concluded.

“We are all our best selves when we believe to our core, 'I'm loved.’"

Listen to me carefully people. A person can be taught that they are “loved” by God and that because of His great love for them, whoever they are, whatever they are, they are now their best selves, and without repentance and being cleansed by the blood of Yeshua, they will die in this life and then be thrown into the lake of fire for all eternity!

And I may start off next week talking some about how that punishment is so much more than what we think!!

People, we need to show the world the truth about God’s “agape” love and what it is and what it did for us and how we can walk in it for eternity!

Saying to people that God’s “unconditional” love accepts you right where you are and just as you are, without repentance, is false and that is not the gospel message!

You must teach of repentance if you are going to share the gospel message.

The Bible says:

Acts 3:19,

Acts 3:19 (ESV)

19 Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out,

Acts 17:30,

Acts 17:30 (ESV)

30 The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent,

Romans 2:4,

Romans 2:4 (ESV)

4 Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?

When the people heard the message of Peter in Acts 2 and cried out, “What shall we do”, Peter didn’t answer, “it’s call good, because God’s unconditional love accepts you into His kingdom just as you are!”

No, Peter instantly replied back to them. “Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”

In closing, let me say that next week, we are going to continue with our series on “Love is...” and we will continue talking about the depth of God’s love and why His love is more than our emotions and feelings can understand.

Hopefully, we will be looking into the love chapter of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13 and what the Bible says the love of God looks like in the life of a believer.

There is nothing like the love of God the Father in the life of a believer! To have that assurance in your heart that you will be with Him for eternity is the greatest peace there is!