Starting the Journey Pt 3
Sermon • Submitted
0 ratings
· 9 viewsNotes
Transcript
Leaning into Conflict
Leaning into Conflict
We are getting close to rounding out our discussion on conflict and today we look at the final three steps in your preparations for approaching someone whom you are in conflict with.
Remember, conflict isn’t “bad” but it is an opportunity to grow and find resolution. Conflict is only bad when we engage unprepared or out of control.
In our context, we want to resolve things in a manner consistent with the teachings of Jesus.
As a quick review:
Let’s quickly review the steps we’ve discussed up to this point.
1 - Get your own log out first
2 - Prepare for the journey
a - Praying for humility and wisdom
b - plan our words carefully
c - anticipate likely reactions
d - Choose the right time and place
e - Assume the best
The next three steps help round out our preparation and begins with:
Listen Carefully
You know, learning to listen is actually good for your health.
300 Illustrations for Preachers Learning to Listen Lowers Risk of Heart Attack
Learning to listen can lower our blood pressure and stress hormone levels, and make us less at risk for a heart attack. A Duke University study found that people who interrupt are up to seven times more likely to get heart disease. When subjects in another study focused on being silent while others talked, they lowered their blood pressure and stress hormone levels.
When we think highly of other people, we are interested in what they have to say. When we regard them as more important than ourselves, we listen to them instead of interrupting with our own opinions.
It’s okay to take in information process it.
If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.
If someone has offended you, it is very possible that the misunderstanding is with you and not the other person.
If we are going to listen carefully, we are going to ensure we fully understand, as best as possible, the other persons positions.
I say as “best as possible” because of Romans 12:18
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
If we are going to confront someone and really we are just waiting to ambush them at every sentence… our heart is not to heal and peace make, and in fact, the proverbs say we will reveal our folly and shame.
Taco Bell:
Taco Bell guy at the drive through...
Point of this story?
He assumed the worst
Was only interested in himself
Was unwilling to consider the other person
Was unreasonable in his requests
Listening carefully can involve clarifying questions. We call this “active listening.”
McDonalds ordering (this is almost out of date now a days with kiosk)
Our next step really has two parts… but they are two sides of the same coin.
Speak only to build others up.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Corrupt = rotten, putrid, not fit for use, worn out...
Get out of here with that worn out talk
Building up = edify… the act of one who promotes another’s growth in Christian wisdom, piety, happiness, holiness.
You know what my momma said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all.”
Really, “If you can’t say something like Christ, don’t say it at all.”
Give Grace
Grace = good will, kindness, favour, joy, pleasure, delight…
The Other Half of this Coin
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.
A good conversation is never one-sided.
An extension of listening carefully, and speaking to build up… is allowing space for the other person to respond.
There’s wisdom in asking the other person if they are seeing something we missed.
If our heart is to truly be reconciled… we will be interested in the other persons insight.
If we’re just in this to put others in their place… we may need to read Proverbs 18:2 again
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.
The Final step in this process of prepwork is this.
Trust God
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Scripture is full if encouragement to trust God resulting in “good actions”
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
My final encouragement on preparation:
Be prepared for hard work!