Dealing with the Needy — Compassion

Text: 1 Samuel 25:18-43

Theme: In the story of David and Abigail, David learns how to deal with the needy. You have compassion.

Date: 08/0121 File name: King_David_07 ID Number: OT09-25

So much of what we’ve been looking at in David’s life is the development of his character. How God is bringing events and people into his life to mold and shape him into the godly man that he becomes. In chapters 24-27 David deals with a series of events that are going to continue to shape the young man’s life.

David dealing with the Lord’s Anointed - David has respect Chpts. 24 & 26

David dealing with a fool - David has mercy Chpt. 25:1-17

David dealing with the needy - David has compassion Chpt. 25:18-43

When we left David last week he has relented of his plan to kill Nabal and his entire household because of the wise intervention of Abigail, Nabal’s wife. At the beginning of 1 Samuel 25 we are told that Abigail is discerning and beautiful. Unfortunately, she is married to one of the biggest jerks in the Bible. Let me briefly recount the story ...

Nabal is rich in livestock and possessions.

David sends representatives to Nabal to ask for provisions, but they are sent away scolded and empty-handed.

David is incensed and prepares to “go to war” against Nabal vowing to kill him and his entire family.

Abigail is informed of David’s plan, gathers a significant amount of supplies, finds David and intervenes without her husband knowing.

David relents.

Abigail finds her husband and gives him the news at which he literally “strokes out”.

This is where we pick up our text for this evening. “And about ten days later the LORD struck Nabal, and he died. 39 When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Blessed be the LORD who has avenged the insult I received at the hand of Nabal, and has kept back his servant from wrongdoing. The LORD has returned the evil of Nabal on his own head.” Then David sent and spoke to Abigail, to take her as his wife.” (1 Samuel 25:38–39, ESV)

The story can be broken up into two simple parts ... Abigail’s Sudden Plight and David’s Sincere Proposal.

I. ABIGAIL’S SUDDEN PLIGHT

1. this is one of those stories where there is so much that we’re not told, and so we have to make some assumptions

A. WIDOWS DID NOT FARE WELL IN A PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY

1. 1st, there is no mention of children in the story

a. normally, in such a situation, the oldest grown son would take on the responsibility of caring for his widowed mother

b. although when a woman's husband died she technically became a widow, biblical references to widows usually assume she had no male protector, little money, and no influence

2. 2nd, there is no mention of a brother-in-law in the story

a. if there was no son to take care of a widowed mother, then she would be eligible for a Levirate marriage

1) this is a type of marriage in which the brother of a deceased man is obliged to marry his brother's widow

ILLUS. Just so you know, The word levirate, which has nothing to do with the tribe of Levi, comes from the Latin word levir, “a husband’s brother.” In ancient times, if a man died without a child, it was common for the man’s unmarried brother to marry the widow in order to provide an heir for the deceased. A widow would marry a brother-in-law, and the first son produced in that union was considered the legal descendant of her dead husband.

2) Deuteronomy 25:5–6 prescribes it and Ruth and Boaz are an example of it

3. 3rd, there is no mention of a father-in-law in the story

a. if there is no son to take care of a widowed mother, and if there is no brother-in-law to marry, then it was the responsibility of the widow’s father-in-law to take care of her

4. evidently Abigail has three strikes against her

a. without any of these male relatives a widow’s life could become very difficult

b. in a society where kinship ties gave one identity, meaning, and protection the widow had no such ties without a man in her life

B. ABIGAIL’S SITUATION

1. fortunately for Abigail she has several things going for her

a. 1st she is beautiful

1) I suppose that then, like now, beauty is in the eye of the beholder

ILLUS. Historians have traced “beauty culture” all the way to the Ancient Greeks, who believed that a beautiful face is one with perfect symmetry — including a unibrow! In Medieval Japan, women dyed their teeth black and plucked off their eyebrows, then repainted them in high arches closer to the hairline. Renaissance women wanted receding hairlines. Elizabethan women preferred pale faces, and Victorian women strived for tiny, rosebud lips. Compare that to the robust, enhanced lips of our day.

2) whatever the attributes of beauty were in tenth-century B.C. Israel, Abigail had them

b. 2nd, she is smart — the biblical word in the ESV is discerning and carries the idea of having common sense and shrewd understanding

1) we see this in the way she handles the situation between her husband and David

a) she faces the situation head-on

b) she comes with a peace offering

c) she knows when to speak and when to be silent

d) she puts it in God’s hands

2) she didn’t submit to her husband’s stupidity; rather she protected her husband and his interests

a) she took the initiative when he was unable or unwilling to act, and she even apologized for his arrogant behavior

c. 3rd, she is brave

1) it would have been no mean feat to confront David and four hundred of his men who had been dishonoured and were intent on revenge with their swords at the ready

2) yet Abigail approached David and, with great diplomacy

d. 4th, she is wealthy

1) with no heirs mentioned in the text we can assume that Abigail inherited Nabal’s estate and his wealth

II. DAVID’S SINCERE PROPOSAL

1. David recognized Nabal’s death a God’s providential avenging for Nabal’s insult

2. he also recognized the need to make sure Abigail is taken care of

a. in this passage we see David dealing with the needy - he has compassion

b. after Nabal’s death, he seems to have lost no time in asking her to become his wife

1) it is not clear whether David sought this marriage because of his attraction to Abigail or if it was for political reasons, but he certainly admired her

A. ABIGAIL BECOMES DAVID’S SECOND FIRST WIFE

1. Abigail was technically David's second wife

a. you’ll remember that Saul had given his daughter Michal to David as his wife after he had defeated Goliath

1) but when David fled from Saul’s wrath over a stupid song, Saul gave Michal in marriage to Palti, son of Laish when David went into hiding

ILLUS. But like a good Hallmark movie, we will see that David gets Michal back later in the story of his life. It’s one of those “boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy get’s girl back” stories.

2. Abigail became David’s wife and she bore David’s second son

“and his second, Chileab, of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur;” (2 Samuel 3:3, ESV)

a. the Bible never tells us what happened to Chileab

3. Abigail is clearly more than glad to be marrying a man she can respect

III. LESSONS FROM DAVID AND ABIGAIL

1. when looking at the lesson David learned in his relationship with Abigail, we perceive David responding with compassion

2. compassion is caring for another person’s struggles or problems and wanting to take action to solve it

a. the key is wanting to take action, because true compassion helps other people– it’s not just a feeling

A. 1st, BE SENSITIVE TO THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND YOU

1 vs. 39 says “When David heard that Nabal was dead ... “

a. compassion is an essential attribute of a godly life

1) in the 103rd Psalm we’re told that God has compassion on us as a father has compassion on his children

b. this illustrates the kind of compassion Christians are to have toward those around us

2. the needs of others demand our compassion

“Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:35–36, NIV84)

a. Jesus saw the people around him a sheep who where harassed and helpless to do anything about it

b. when we see people in trouble Christians step in, but we can’t do that if we’re living in our own little bubble, isolating ourselves from the lives and the problems of others

ILLUS. In the mid-third century the Roman Empire was struck by a major plague. To this day scholars are not exactly sure what the disease was, but it was highly contagious, spread throughout the Mediterranean world and killed one-third of the empire’s citizens. At one point 5,000 a day were dying in the city of Rome. There was an endless line of carts removing the dead from the city 24 hours a day. Those who could, fled. Those who couldn’t would throw family members out into the streets at the first sign of symptoms. Into the maelstrom of suffering stepped the Christians. In Rome, in Athens, in Damascus, in Alexandria the Christians, at the risk of their own lives, cared for the sick and the dying. They looked upon their cities and saw their fellow citizens as sheep without a shepherd, harassed and helpless.

B. 2ND, TAKE SPECIFIC ACTIONS TO MEET THE NEED

“When David heard that Nabal was dead, he ... sent word to Abigail, asking her to become his wife.” (1 Samuel 25:39, NIV84)

1. now none of us need go that far to have compassion on someone in need

a. but the principle is obvious

1) sometimes the need will be immediate and short-term, and sometimes the need will be on-going and require a long-term solution

ILLUS. All of us, I’m sure, are familiar with the proverb, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” Liberals love that first clause of the proverb, and conservatives love the second clause. What we fail to understand it sometime you have to do both.

2. knowing how to be compassionate takes discernment

a. that means evaluating the need and taking action as you can

“Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” (James 2:15–17, NIV84)

C. 3RD, BE IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL

“Abigail quickly got on a donkey and, attended by her five maids, went with David’s messengers and became his wife.” (1 Samuel 25:42, NIV84)

1. the last we know of Abigail she is present with David in Hebron when he is publically inaugurated king, and she bears him a son called Chileab

a. to the best of our knowledge Chileab, never becomes a contender for the throne and, beyond this episode, Abigail plays no role in the court history

2. but the assumption is that David cares for her until her death

a. again this depth of compassion might night be required of us — but then again, it might

3. in his letter to the Christians at Colossae the Apostle Paul tells them to cloth yourselves with compassion among other things

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:12–13, NIV84)

a. in that text compassion is expressed by forbearance toward other Christians and forgiveness of other Christians when they sin against us

b. conclusion? if we can’t be compassionate toward fellow believers we will never learn how to be compassionate toward the lost

1) compassion begins among us