L301: Lesson 9: Principles of Mentoring

Principles of Mentoring

Key Verse: “For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers; for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. Therefore, I urge you, imitate me.” 1 Corinthians 4:15-16 NKJV

Purpose: The purpose of this lesson is to help the disciple / leader to discover both the need to be mentored and how to mentor others in the Lord.

Seven levels of mentoring relationships

POSITION: People follow you only because of your office. There is little mentoring here because people will not follow you beyond the boundaries of your authority.

OBLIGATION: People follow you out of a sense of personal debt for how you have helped them. The mentoring continues so long as the feeling of obligation exists.

DEPENDENCY: People follow you because they do not feel that they can make it through life without you. The mentoring continues so long as you can continue to meet their needs.

SUCCESS: People follow you because of what you have accomplished. The mentoring continues so long as the success continues.

FRIENDSHIP: People follow you because they know you and want to follow you. The mentoring continues so long as they like you.

VISION: People follow you because they share a common vision. The mentoring continues so long as you don’t change.

FATHERING: People follow you because their eternal purpose and destiny was discovered, matured, and released under your mentoring. This mentoring relationship is based on spiritual identification and will last a lifetime.

There is a need today to restore the FATHERING heart in the process of mentoring.

We are living in a generation of spiritual orphans who have lost all sense of identity and significance.

Malachi 4:5-6 (NKJV) “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”

Mothers are natural nurturers, but it is the father who establishes identity and destiny in a child.

Proverbs 17:6 (NKJV) “The glory of children is their father.”

Hebrews 2:10 (NKJV) It is the Father who is bringing many sons to glory

Individuals properly mentored in the Lord will become spiritual SONS and DAUGHTERS in the faith.

1 Timothy 1:2 (NKJV) “To Timothy, a true son in the faith.”

Titus 1:4 (NKJV) “To Titus, a true son in our common faith.”

The church is not in need of more members to fulfill its mission; it is in need of more “sons.”

True sons accurately carry the nature, heart, and vision of their father

God sent to us His Son

Jesus sent forth His twelve apostles

Paul sent Timothy

Elijah passed on his ministry and mantle to Elisha

Kings pass down their throne to their sons

The primary purpose of a mentor is to establish a relationship with a person that will awaken and cultivate PURPOSE and DESTINY in their lives.

In destiny is found our future, our provision, our health, our protection, our security---everything we need. Do the people around you have a need? As we get people connected with their destiny, we ensure that all their needs will be supplied.

People with a sense of divine destiny will seek to live holy lives.

Proverbs 29:18 (NKJV) “Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint.”

The tragedy of abortion and murder is found not only in the extermination of a life, but also the termination of a destiny.

Satan is out to destroy divine destinies.

Our job is not just to get people saved, but also to awaken them to their destiny so that they can fulfill God’s will for their lives.

One of the main objectives of a mentor is to recognize and to root out the seeds of REBELLION and other DEFECTS that lay dormant in the heart of the son.

Mentors are used by God to “zero in” on underlying attitudes and character flaws that will keep a person from fulfilling their destiny.

Attitudes that prevent a person from being mentored include:

INDEPENDENT: “I can do it alone.”

UNTEACHABLE: “I know as much or more than they do. I have nothing to learn from them.”

REBELLIOUS: “I don’t have to do what you say.”

UNCOMMITTED: “I will do this as long as nothing better or more important develops.”

WANDERER: “There’s too many other good mentors out there. Why be “tied” down?”

PROUD: “I will not allow another person to be perceived as greater than me.”

UNACCOUNTABLE: “What goes on in my life is my own business and no one else’s.”

FEARFUL: “I’m afraid of being hurt or disappointed.”

UNBELIEVING: “I could never do anything significant for God.”

CRITICAL: “I cannot submit to a mentor who is less than perfect.”

DISRESPECTFUL: “I will not give honor.”

UNTHANKFUL: “I deserve better.”

SELFISH: “I’m not interested in learning to serve someone else. I’m ready for people to follow and serve me!”

IMPATIENT: “I don’t have time to be mentored. I’ll just take my chances and learn from my own experiences.”

Mentoring begins when a person is willing to SUBMIT to and SERVE their mentor.

Elisha submitted to and served Elijah

The disciples submitted to and served Jesus

Timothy submitted to and served Paul

Submitting to and serving a mentor

Is the crucible through which the dross of our inner selves is forced to the surface so that it can be removed.

Establishes qualities that enable us to be effective mentors.

Places us in a position to receive of the inheritance, grace, and mantle of our mentor.

The process of mentoring involves

Exhibiting a genuine FATHER’S or MOTHER’S heart.

Being a godly ROLE MODEL.

BELIEVING in others.

Helping others DISCOVER their destiny.

NURTURING others to maturity.

GUIDING others based on your experiences.

Getting INVOLVED in other people’s lives.

REPRODUCING yourself in others. Be fruitful and multiply.

EMPOWERING others to fulfill their destiny.

FIVE steps in empowering others through mentoring

“You watch while I do”

“You assist me”

“I assist you”

“You do while I watch”

“You do”

Steps to becoming a mentor

Ask God to REVEAL those He wants you to mentor.

Identify those with whom you have INFLUENCE and those who are new in the Lord.

From these identify those who you see clear DESTINY and POTENTIAL.

From these identify those who are HUNGRY and READY to grow.

Approach these based on developing RELATIONSHIP and helping them to fulfill their DESTINY.

From these establish a COMMITMENT to begin the mentoring process.

Be FAITHFUL, PATIENT, and PERSEVERING with them as a father with a son.