Parenting in a Godly Way (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)

Introduction

· Good evening, my name is Stephen Jones, and I am the Associate Pastor of Ministry Leadership here at Immanuel Baptist. It is a pleasure to be here tonight along with my wife Natalie and three children. Our worship together has been a little foretaste of heaven, where people of every tongue, tribe, and nation will gather around the throne of the Lamb. I have been asked to preach tonight on “Parenting in a Godly Way.” It is a good topic, especially with the child dedications we witnessed a few minutes ago.

· Please open your Bible to Deuteronomy 6

· What does it look like to be a godly parent? How do we help our children to serve and follow God? What can the church do to help families? What role does the father play as a spiritual leader in the home? There are just some of the questions that we will try to touch on tonight.

· Earlier this week, I went over to the home of one of our church members for breakfast and fellowship with a couple of men. We were talking about our families and I shared that my children are 15, 13, and 10. One of the men [Mark Bennett] said to me, “I was sitting where you were just yesterday. And now my children are all grown up and getting married.” It happens so fast, doesn’t it? I remember being their age, and don’t feel like I’m much older than them, and yet here I am with children who are teenagers and will soon be asking about dating, driving, college, and career decisions.

· Some of you are just starting out as parents. Some of you are hoping to be parents someday. For others, your kids have already grown up, left home, and have children of their own now. No matter the stage you are in, it is important for you to know what the Bible says about parenting. The passage we are going to study tonight connects parenting to the passing of the faith from one generation to the next.

· Deuteronomy 6:4–9 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lordis one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

· This is a very important passage of scripture in our Bibles. If you are comfortable writing in your Bible, I would even encourage you to underline or highlight these verses. It is so important that many devout Jews recite them two times every day. It is called the “Shema”. That’s because the first word of verse 4, “Hear” or “Listen” is “Shema” (שְׁמַ֖ע) in Hebrew. “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.” In the Book of Matthew, a Jewish leader came to Jesus trying to trick him. He asked, “Rabbi, Which is the great commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied, “You shall love the lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matt. 22:36-37). He is quoting from Deut. 6:5. This passage right here sums up all the law and the prophets.

· As it pertains to parenting, this passage teaches us three important lessons: Who We Teach, What We Teach, and How We Teach.

Who We Teach

· Verse 7 says that you are to teach them to your whom? To your children. God expected that children of Israel would learn about God not primarily through Moses in person, or through the priests, or the elders, but through their parents. Moses was the greatest prophet of the Old Testament, and yet he said it was parents who were to teach these things to their children.

· Deuteronomy was written to prepare Israel to enter into the promised land. Remember there had been forty years of wandering, until the entire first generation of Israelites had died out. Deuteronomy is written to the second generation, to remind them of who God was, and what he expected of his people. It is a renewal and recapitulation of the Mosaic covenant. As you read through Deuteronomy, it is interesting how much emphasis is put on children.

· Deuteronomy 4:9 “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children—

· Deuteronomy 5:16 “ ‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

· Deuteronomy 11:19 You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

· There is an emphasis on children because that is where training and discipleship beings. You don’t wait until they are 18 years old to begin telling them about God. You start when they are still being cradled, when they are still riding in a strolling and being strapped into a car seat. Even before they are old enough to read, they should already have heard many things about God and begun to understand his purpose for them in this world.

· Children are a sponge. They will soak up much of what they hear from others. They listen when you don’t even realize it, and echo thing you didn’t even know they heard. You might not even know you said them. They will imitate body language. We have noticed there is a little girl at church up in the front row who sings loud, raises her acting just like mommy in worshipping Jesus. Make sure that they are being exposed to truth, so that they soak that up instead of lies.

· Over in the NT, we learn that this role starts first and foremost with the father. Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Our wives can be of great help. But ultimately, we are the ones who set the tone, and who will give an account.

· >>In this important passage, we are told to teach our children. But what are we to say to them?

What We Teach

· V. 7 says, “teach them diligently to your children.” Teach what diligently? The previous verse says, “And these words that I command you today.” In v. 1 they are called “commandments, statues, and rules.” God’s word is our curriculum. The content of our teaching can be summarized in two words: doctrine (who God is) and duty (how we must live).

· First of all, doctrine. We must teach our children who God is. The LORD is One (4). This word “one” (אֶחָד) echad, certainly teaches that there is only one God. We are not free to imagine God however we like, or invent a God of our own liking. We must bow before God as he has revealed himself to us in Scripture. There are not many gods. There is only one God. It his name is not Allah, or Buddha, or Vishnu, or Baal. His name is Jehovah. We want people to know the one true God, the God of the Bible. This word could also have the idea of “only” or “alone.” Jehovah alone is God. Psalm 86:8–10 There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours. All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name. For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God. This God has revealed himself to us through his Son, Jesus Christ. As parents, we have one of the greatest privileges in the world. We get to introduce our children to the one true God. We must teach there is only one God, who has three “persons” – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We must teach our children that this God is our creator. That he is loving. That he is holy. That he is powerful. That he is in control. That he deserves our trust. All of this and much more, God expects your children to know, and he expects them to know it because you have taught it to them.

· “Yes,” you say, “but my child is so young. They can’t possibly understand.” It is true that you need to start them on the milk of the word. But don’t wait until they understand it all. I started taking my son to Men’s Bible Study when he was only three years old. They may not understand it all. They may not always enjoy it. But they are picking up little lessons and seeing you and others live out your Christian faith.

· Secondly, we must teach our children duty. How we must live. You shall love (5). These words that I command you (6). Love is more than just a feeling. It is an action and response that involves every part of our being. Cf. Deuteronomy 6:1 “Now this is the commandment—the statutes and the rules—that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you, that you may dothem in the land to which you are going over, to possess it. I’m reminded also of Joshua 1:8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to doaccording to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Theology is not abstract. It must become practical. For example, if God is one, this means we must put him first and not allow other gods or any other thing to steal our affection. If God is in control, then we must learn to trust him. If God is just, then we must let him give judgment rather than us. If God is wise, then we should humble ourselves and look to his word for guidance. If God is everywhere present, then we can learn to pray to him at all times. Doctrine is practical, and God shows us how to live. The world tells children to believe in themselves. Don’t let anyone hold you back or tell you what to do. Be whoever you want, do whatever you want. But Scripture says you are made in God’s image, and have a responsibility to follow him. He has told you how to live, and he wants to be in fellowship with you. But this only happens through faith in Christ, and then walking in obedience.

· >>We’ve considered who we teach and what we teach. But one question remains. How do we teach them? Moses tells us here: “teach them diligently” (7).

How We Teach

· This word “diligently” speaks of repetition. To say it over and over again. Stir them up by way of reminder (Rom. 15:15). My high school Sunday School teacher used to say, “repetition is the mother of all learning.”

· Boys and girls, if it feels like you’ve heard your parents say this before, it’s because … you’ve heard them say it before! When they repeat themselves, they are actually obeying God. Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t tune them out. Be attentive. They are probably saying it again because you need to hear it again. God does the same thing. Just notice the commands made in these verses – love God, fear God, keep his commandments. God says these things over and over again in Scripture. It’s because we need to hear it regularly.

· Moses goes on to give several examples of the kind of place we might teach our children (read vv. 7-9). These are a Hebrew figure of speech called a merism, which means the beginning and the end, and includes everything in between. If I say I read a book from cover to cover, I’m saying I read all of it. In the same way, these pictures here describe a home where the word of God is woven into every conversation.

· Think about this - the home is the ideal environment for discipleship. Where else can you spend approximately 18 years with a person - teaching them, caring for them, worshipping together, discussing the Bible together, praying together, showing them how to make decisions, answering questions, offering gentle corrections, disciplining when they wander off, encouraging them, and guiding them. In the home, you have the opportunity to talk about every topic imaginable and to instill within your children a biblical worldview (seeing the world as God sees it). You get to teach your children not only about God but about how to live wisely. You teach them about money, about relationships, about resolving conflict, about work, about rest, about money, about sex, about suffering, and about integrity.

· THREE SUGGESTIONS:

· Seize the opportunities around you. We call them “teachable moments.” Some places we have found helpful: at the dinner table, just before bed, at church, and riding in the car. These are places where conversations naturally happen, and where we can talk and pray together about what is going on in life, and how God wants us to respond.

· Watch godly parents: whose kids seem to be respectful and under control, how they do family worship, how they discipline. Years before Natalie and I had kids, we were already watching and learning from others.

· Use Helpful tools: A children’s Bible, homeschool curriculum, a program like AWANA or RAs and GAs. Christian music, Parenting with Scripture, Topical Bible for Kids, catechism, books like Shepherding a Child’s Heart.

Conclusion

· Several years ago in November one of my children asked if it would still be cold after Christmas. I said, “Yes, for a couple months,” and my child acted disappointed. I asked why, and they said, “I don’t know.” I thought nothing of it, but later that night, they came up to me and said, “Daddy, when you asked me why, I said I didn’t know. But I actually asked because I saw some gloves at the store this morning [and I wanted to get them]. I’m sorry for lying.” I quickly hugged and forgave them, and was encouraged they had a tender heart and were learning the value of telling the truth. That is one of the most important lessons we can instill within out children.

· The things God has spoken in his word, “Teach them diligently to your children.” And may God help them remember their creator in the days of their youth (Eccc. 12:1).