Girls Night / Together Message

It’s so good to be together!

We wanted to give you an opportunity to be together tonight — together as a family, together with other families, and together with God's family.

TGirls, we know it can be hard to spend quality time with your parents or parent figures as you get older, so we wanted to give you a chance to have some fun together.

But we also want to have a conversation about something important — something that, as you get older, you're going to need more than ever.

Girls, you're growing up! I know that's not news to you. I know there is sometimes this tension between wanting to be independent but also knowing you still need a little help. It's hard to grow up and figure out life, even with a good support system.

As you continue to grow in your life, maturity, relationships, or faith, you're going to need a lot of wisdom.

But wisdom doesn't happen by accident — you have to pursue it.

Story

Question:

As life and relationships get more complicated, have you ever been unsure of what to do, how to respond, or how to find an answer to a question?

Maybe you eventually figured it out on your own.

Or maybe someone (like a friend, or a YouTube video, or a Google search) helped you.

I personally don’t feel like i did a great job when I was a kid who needed wisdom from my parents at times. There was for me this huge tension between needing wisdom, needing to ask for help in certain situations in my life. But I was a kid who always rejected authority (still have trouble with that), I was a kid who wasn’t sure if I necessarily trusted much of authority, and a kid who just plain out thought much of the time that I knew what was best.

As much as I wanted to believe that I knew everything and that my parents didn’t have much to offer, I WAS COMPLETELY WRONG.

I really did need help from somebody that was wiser, and have come to understand that my mom anyways… is somebody who really is amazing for coming to for wisdom.

SCRIPTURE / Proverbs 1:8

There's a book in the Bible called Proverbs that's all about wisdom. It's God's gigantic collection of wise sayings and teachings to help you live a life of wisdom, integrity, and wholeness. Let me share just one of those sayings with you today.

Proverbs 1:8–14 CSB

8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching, 9 for they will be a garland of favor on your head and pendants around your neck. 10 My son, if sinners entice you, don’t be persuaded. 11 If they say—“Come with us! Let’s set an ambush and kill someone. Let’s attack some innocent person just for fun! 12 Let’s swallow them alive, like Sheol, whole, like those who go down to the Pit. 13 We’ll find all kinds of valuable property and fill our houses with plunder. 14 Throw in your lot with us, and we’ll all share the loot”—

Apparently in ancient Israel, there was as much as in modern society this strong temptation to the young person who felt overwhelmed by difficulties of the life they confronted every day.

Sounds like a teenager today!

Temptation,

feeling overwhelmed.

Needing help and wisdom.

Listen to Proverbs 1:8 again...

Proverbs 1:8 CSB

8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching,

Not everyone has a father or a mother who shares wisdom with them, but if you're here tonight, you have someone in your life who wants to do that for you. Whether they're your mom, dad, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, coach, or mentor, you have at least one person in your life who is willing to share their wisdom with you.

Object Lesson / Flower Crowns & Note Cards

Some of you made a flower crown tonight. While you were making those crowns, you may have also written a note card to your parent figure or to your daughter, exchanging or asking for words or wisdom. If you haven't already done this, that's okay — you still have time at the end of the night.

Proverbs 1:9 says the wisdom of our parents will be like a garland of favor for our heads. As you leave tonight, I hope your crown reminds you of the wisdom you have to give or receive.

Scripture: Proverbs 1:5

Proverbs 1:5 CSB

5 let a wise person listen and increase learning, and let a discerning person obtain guidance—

This is a pretty incredible idea. If you're wise, you realize you still have more to learn! Wise people keep learning and keep asking for more guidance.

Girls, look around at the adults who are with you tonight. These adults who love you may not know everything, but they are full of wisdom that can help you through some tough situations. By showing up here with you tonight, they're saying, "We're in this together." You don't have to go through life or navigate tough decisions alone.

Adults, let me talk to you next.

You've acquired some hard-earned wisdom through time and experience, but whose wisdom are you continuing to learn from? Do you have someone sharing their wisdom with you, just like you're willing to share your wisdom with the teenagers in this room?

If you don't have anyone in your life who is sharing their wisdom with you, commit tonight to begin seeking out wisdom, maybe through a friend, mentor, pastor, or counselor.

To give wisdom, you need to receive it. It’s a mistake for us to reject or ignore wisdom.

Girls, go get wisdom — seek it out. The adults in this room are one great place to find that wisdom.

Adults, if you want to help the teenager grow in wisdom, go get wisdom — seek it out. Before you can give wisdom, you must receive it.

You’re not alone

If you'll let me, I'd like to share one piece of wisdom that I've learned, and that I hope each and every one of you (teenager and adult) will hear and remember: you're not alone.

Whether you're a teenager, trying to figure out how your life and faith are supposed to work, or an adult, still trying to figure out how life and faith work while also helping a teenager figure it out, there are three ways I hope you know you're not alone.

GOD: With God, you're never alone. You are made in God's image and deeply loved. You matter to God. No matter what happens, God says, "We're in this together."

We have a God who is Omnipotent, Omniscient, and Omnipresent. He is sovereign, and He will never leave you nor forsake you. Truths from God’s Word about God!

EACH OTHER: If you're here tonight, it's because you are loved by someone. If you're a teenager, I hope you know how loved you are by the adults who are sitting by your side. If you're an adult, I hope you know how much you mean to the young woman who asked you to be by her side tonight.

I know it's not always easy to tell or show each other how much you mean to each other, so maybe I can say it for you. The fact that you are here, side by side, means you're not alone. You're in this together.

FAITH FAMILY: Not only are you in this with God and with each other, but you have a family here at church too. You matter to us. Our faith community wouldn't be complete without you, and you wouldn't be complete without a faith community. We're all in this together.

THE WORLD: Because we're all in this together, each of us has the ability to make a huge difference in the world. You matter to your community, to your friends, to your school, and to everyone who you encounter. When you see someone with a need, a question, or a hurt, you have the opportunity to say to them what we're saying to you tonight: "We're in this together." It can be scary to be a teenager, just like it can be scary to be a parent. We're all in need of wisdom in different ways, no matter how old we are. But isn't it exciting to know that none of us are in it alone? We have each other.

As we all pursue wisdom together, remember, we're in this together.

Note Cards

We hope you had fun tonight, but we also hope you all feel challenged to go get wisdom — and then share that wisdom with each other.

Let’s end our time tonight with this quick activity.

INSTRUCTIONS: Before your event, print plenty of large note cards on card stock and make them available, along with plenty of pens. You may want to set up several writing stations throughout the room, or place them in the center of each table. Encourage both teenagers and adults to write a card to each other (and write their name on the front), sharing why they're grateful to have them in their lives and that they're needed. They might want to end the note with, "We're in this together."

We're not going to make you have a conversation about this right now, but I do want to encourage you to read and talk about your letters to each other after you leave here tonight. Girls, we are so proud of you and of the women you are becoming. We hope tonight is a milestone in your journey that helps you grow in wisdom for your life and your faith. Adults, we are so proud of you too. Parenting isn't always an easy job, but you're here and you're putting in the time and effort. Keep going, because you're making a difference.