You are Your Worst Advisor

Bad Advice:

Over the next month we will be taking a deep dive into the third chapter of Hebrews, mental health, toxic, self care and healing have become these buzz words that have typically led to more enabling than accountability. The primary reason this has happened is because we have leaned too much on foolish advice from others and ourselves.

Have you ever been given bad advice? Typically bad advice frustrates you further because typically what you planned to do probably would have worked out better, or even been the best solution. Some of the worst advice we actually can get is from ourselves. How many times have you made up your mind to do something and it is completely contrary to what God’s will is for you life. That might be a relationship, that might be a decision to go somewhere you should not be, or even taking on responsibilities that God never intended you to take on. Over the past few months I have been able to connect with black men all over the country through a network of men entitled Dear.Fathers. One of our facilitators and licensed professional counselor stated “You are your worst counselor”. I was blown away by that statement and grounded on the fact that God has blessed me with a number of people who have offered sage counsel when I need it the most.

Proverbs 12:15 says the way of the fool is right in his own eyes, But he who heeds counsel is wise.

Often times it is not that we do not have a good outlook on life but typically when we are maneuvering through life the advice we give ourselves is typically based on self-interest, desires of the flesh and typically have little to do with those who are most impacted by our issues. I know it’s difficult because the mantra “I know what is best for me” is typically counterproductive as it pertains to your purpose and plan that God has for your life.

Feelings get in the way of faith.

What we perceive as happiness gets in the way of holiness.

Resentment and revenge get in the way of righteousness.

Introduction of the Text

Chapter 3 is essentially the sage advice that God blesses us with. This instruction coupled with true trust and fear of God does a number of things.

Provides us with insight on living a peaceful life.

Warning against unchaste women.

The importance of living a virtuous life and having virtuous people around.

Focusing on honesty, love, forgiveness and warning against vices that can destroy one’s life.

This theme goes hand in hand with the ability of Solomon to bestow wise words on the reader in effort that our life be filled with the ability to say no to ourselves emphatically, meanwhile adhering to the advice of God our Father.

Don’t forget the foundational tenets of God’s teaching. Absent mindedness comes from being absent from God. Long live and peace await those who trust in God and keep commandments.

Do not let mercy and truth leave you because you are so bent on doing things your way. Mercy is the foundational key to this text it illustrates the idea that it’s power is based on past experiences. The mercy of yesterday is the proof that today everything will be alright.

Don’t Trust Yourself

It was Jeremiah that said “the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked.

We are our worst counselor. I’m reminded of a conversation me and my brother Alvin had prior to me moving to Columbus. “Do not let your heart get in the way of what God is trying do”.

God is really trying to work in our lives and sometimes what we have our heart set on, or who we have our heart set on gets in the way of the blessings that God has for us.

What Does Trust Truly Mean?

When the bible says trust in the Lord with all your heart, that word trust in this text means that we are not only confident but we are placing total reliance or belief in God.

Regardless of what I want to do, it’s about what God has purposed me to do.

It’s bigger than faith, it’s bigger than knowing God exist, it’s truly having total reliance on God that no matter the circumstance I will trust in His will and His way. No matter how unfamiliar the territory or crazy the situation, I TRUST. Trust in Yahweh, I’m reminded of the chorus from a song by the emcee J. Monty I don’t do it ya’ll way, I do it Yahweh.

Understand our heart from a psychological perspective is responsible for a number of things. Our heart attends intellectually, Jeremiah, frustrated with the ways of his people stated in Jeremiah 12:11, “The whole land is made desolate, because no one takes it heart”. It’s similar to the economical adage that if no one ones it no one takes care of it. God has also give us a heart or a mind to understand what is going on with each other. 1 Kings 3:9 “Therefore give to Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, that I may discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of yours.

God also gives us a heart that remembers, we do not forget the things that happen to us and for us, but understand that when we want things contrary to God and His purpose for us, it’s time to turn our attention back to him. There are so many emotions that flow through our heart, madness, merriment, gladness, sorrow and anguish and the ability to say NO to ourselves can be extremely difficult if we do not TRUST in God.

The same heart that has the ability to love, trust and show affection is the same heart that lust, becomes jealous, gets discourages, becomes angry and becomes irresolute when things do not go our way.

The encouraging part of all of this is the same heart that experiences all those negative emotions has the ability to purpose, remain steadfast, be holy and gentle.

This is why we must Trust in the Lord with all of our heart because the emotions of the heart are often irrational and unstable. Our trust has to be one of totality. “With all your heart”

So when you think about giving yourself advice:

remember the instability of our flesh.

Remember the power of God.

Remember that all issues, problems and trials are temporary.

Many of Us Are Leaning on the Wrong Support

Understand that God will never give us a command without an instrument to carry out the command.

He commands us to trust in Him, the instrument of trust is our mind. In effort for this instrument to work the proper way we have to use it in the proper way.

Command: Set your mind on things that are above.

Command: Not on things that are on earth.

Reason: For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

Many of us are leaning on friends, family and ourselves who hate to see us hurting, and typically think of the quickest thing that will alleviate the pain. Sometimes it’s not about alleviating the pain but finding a pain reliever like God that provides a peace that solves beyond our understanding.

Let’s Work Backwards

We are told to trust in the Lord, but understand that begins with the ability to meditate on the teachings of God and keeping his commandments.

We always ask our seasoned saints what is the secret to a long life, often times we are looking for some profound answer but it’s truly quite simple in nature, “stop listening to yourself, and start listening to God”.

Verses 2 and 3 suggest something powerful, long days on earth and peace being added to you begins with steadfast love, and faithfulness. A love and faithfulness so close to us that it’s similar to something we have bound around our neck.

No More Self-Counseling

Typically we talk about the dangers of self medicating and the dangers of substance filled coping skills, but one thing we must be cognizant of is the fact that leaning on our own advice is a recipe for disaster.

I believe it was a song my Grandmother used to sing “What have I to dread? What have I to fear? Leaning on the everlasting arms I have blessed peace with my Lord so near Leaning on the everlasting arms”

It was the Proverb writer who informs us in verse eight of this same chapter “It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones”.

Larry Burkett once stated “A wise man seeks much counsel…a fool listens to all of it”.

1500 Illustrations for Biblical Preaching Advice

A man was on the practice golf course when the club pro brought another man out for a lesson. The pro watched the fellow swing several times and started making suggestions for improvement, but each time the pupil interrupted with his own version of what was wrong and how to correct it. After a few minutes of this interference, the pro began nodding his head in agreement. At the end of the lesson, the student paid the pro, congratulated him on his expertise as a teacher, and left in an obviously pleased frame of mind.

The observer was so astonished by the performance that he asked, “Why did you go along with him?” “Son,” the old pro said with a grin, as he carefully pocketed his fee, “I learned long ago that it’s a waste of time to sell answers to a man who wants to buy echoes.”10

It was typically the instruction of God that prompted the success of many biblical characters that we read about. It was the advice of self that caused Jesus to ask God to allow this cup to pass, but it was the trust in God that allowed Him to say “Thy Kingdom Come Thy WILL BE DONE”

It was the counselor within David that said Bathsheba was the right woman to pursue, but it was the counsel of God that even in sin said, “You are my Son; today I have begotten you.”

It was the self advice that caused Adam to abandon his post and Eve to fall victim of the cunning ways of the serpent but it was God who sent His son to be an advocate for us that even while we were still sinners, Jesus came to save the lost!

STOP LISTENING TO YOURSELF, and START LISTENING TO GOD!