We Can Work It Out

The Big Idea Companion for Preaching and Teaching: A Guide from Genesis to Revelation (Selected Proverbs on Conflict)

Selected Proverbs on Conflict

SUBJECT: How does one handle conflict?

COMPLEMENT: Recognize how much God hates those who stir it up (6:16, 19), stop quarrels before they start (17:14), choose your battles wisely (26:17; 29:9), and choose forgiveness over revenge (24:29).

EXEGETICAL IDEA: One handles conflict by recognizing how much God hates those who stir it up, to stop quarrels before they start, to choose your battles wisely, and to choose forgiveness over revenge.

HOMILETICAL IDEA: We can handle conflict wisely by despising it, stopping it, avoiding it, and choosing to forgive.

Introduction

Two men who lived in a small village got into a terrible dispute that they could not resolve. So they decided to talk to the town sage. The first man went to the sage's home and told his version of what happened. When he finished, the sage said, "You're absolutely right." The next night, the second man called on the sage and told his side of the story. The sage responded, "You're absolutely right." Afterward, the sage's wife scolded her husband. "Those men told you two different stories and you told them they were absolutely right. That's impossible -- they can't both be absolutely right." The sage turned to his wife and said, "You're absolutely right."

The Preacher’s Notebook: The Collected Quotes, Illustrations, and Prayers of John Stott (Where Does Conflict Come From?)

“Only 8 percent of the time since the beginning of recorded history has been spent by the world entirely at peace. In 3,521 years, only 286 have been warless.”—Management Review

1. Recognize How Much God Hates Those Who Stir it Up

English Standard Version Chapter 6

16  There are six things that the LORD hates,

seven that are an abomination to him:

17  haughty eyes, a lying tongue,

and hands that shed innocent blood,

18  a heart that devises wicked plans,

feet that make haste to run to evil,

19  a false witness who breathes out lies,

and one who sows discord among brothers.

2. Stop Quarrels Before They Start

English Standard Version Chapter 17

14  The beginning of strife is like letting out water,

so quit before the quarrel breaks out.

1975 Banqiao Dam failure

In August 1975, the Banqiao dam collapsed, creating the third-largest flood in history which affected a total population of 10.15 million and inundated around 30 cities and counties of 12,000 square kilometers (or 3 million acres), with an estimated death toll ranging from tens of thousands to 240,000.

3. Choose Your Battles Wisely

English Standard Version Chapter 26

17  Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own

is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.

Fire Ants

4. Choose Forgiveness Over Revenge

English Standard Version Chapter 24

29  Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me;

I will pay the man back for what he has done.”

We can handle conflict wisely by despising it, stopping it, avoiding it, and choosing to forgive.