Wholly Single

Opening Prayer

Let’s open with prayer. If you have a prayer concern, just offer it up out loud in this space. It can be a situation, a need, a family member or friend. When I sense we are finished I will close out our prayer.

Grant to us, Lord, the ability to think and do those things that are right, so that we may be enabled by you to live according to your will; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Introduction

We began a new series last week Relationship Goals: How to Win at What Matters Most. We are going through 1 Corinthians 7 looking at marriage and singleness, sexuality and celibacy. The aim of our series is to help us navigate today's sexual landscape in a way that can lead to both faithfulness and fulfillment. Last week we saw the first relationship goal - Relationship Goal #1: Commit to a biblical sexual ethic. The second relationship goal we need to make is this: Relationship Goal #2: Refuse to see yourself as incomplete when single.

There is a song that plays in the background of our modern society. Most of the time it is subliminal, playing behind the scenes, but it is always there nonetheless. It is a song that glorifies romance and sexuality, and that portrays singleness as a curse and something to avoid at any cost. That singleness is a sign there is something wrong with you. That as a single you are lacking and incomplete. How do we navigate these waters of singleness that maintains a biblical sexual ethic and avoids the compromise of culture, and heals the pain of loneliness?

Nautical folklore has many tales of unwitting sailors falling victim to the alluring yet deadly song of sirens, mythological creatures whose irresistible songs would lure sailors to jump from their ship to drown or steer their ships into dangerous waters. Two Greek heroes went to great lengths to resist the siren’s song. Odysseus, from Homer’s Odyssey, orders his men to strap him to the mast and plug his ears with wax to lessen the sound of their music. Their’s were plugged with cotton to cut out all sound. His ploy worked, but not without fault. The sound of the siren’s song penetrated the wax, and only after suffering great agony did Odysseus pass by and into safer water.

The hero Jason, from Jason and the Argonauts, on his quest for the golden fleece chose a different strategy when faced with the siren’s song. He ordered one of his companions, the famed musician Orpheus, to counter the song of the sirens with an even more compelling song, the music of heaven.

I think Odysseus’ approach is how the church has traditionally attempted to handle singleness. Basically, the gist of the church’s message has been “its bad, but suck it up, be content, and don’t have sex.” But just hanging on for dear life to your celibacy leaves singles with an image that looks a lot like Odysseus strapped to his ship’s mast. I think Jason, though, provides the better answer for the church. We must not be captivated by the song of this age which only knows the inward gaze and immediate gratification. Nor should we plug our ears to the painful song of our sexually confused culture, or our own pain when singleness is not by choice. Instead, we need to hear a different tune, to learn to sing a better song.

Culture, and sometimes the church, communicates that there is something grievously wrong with the person who is single. You are incomplete. But the song God sings over you is different. The gospel reveals to us what God sings: You are mine, You have a sacred purpose, You are complete.

So how do we begin to attune our ears to a better song than the song of our culture?

You are mine.

“For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.” (Matthew 22:30, NRSV)

Here Jesus is disputing with some Sadducees who denied bodily resurrection. He teaches that yes indeed there will be a resurrection, and that in the resurrection everyone will be single. This statement demonstrates that marriage, as important and good as it is, is not an ultimate end, or an end in itself. It is a temporary state. Those who are single in the present reflect a future the entire church will someday share in, when marriage is replaced by the fuller reality of the bride of Christ’s marriage to Christ himself.

Singleness, like marriage, points to a deeper reality. It is sacramental in this sense. Paul says in Ephesians 5 that marriage reveals in this present life the mystery of Jesus’ love for the church. Within a healthy Christian marriage husband and wife should imitate the tenderness, compassion, and sacrificial love Jesus has for us. But singleness reveals a similar future mystery. Those called to singleness, even if temporary, are called to live in the present age in such a way that embodies the future reality of the kingdom of God. Singleness is meant to be a compelling witness, side by side with marriage, of our future union with God. We will no longer be married, but as singles we will be eternally wed to the Son of God.

This is where listening to the song of God regarding singleness brings healing. Culture says you are alone, maybe even unwanted. Culture says there is something wrong with you. But God says you are not alone, and that you were created for union with him. And you will not always be single. Your singleness reflects the future reality of the marriage supper of the Lamb.

You are sacred.

“His disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given.” (Matthew 19:10–11, NRSV)

Jesus is discussing divorce and remarriage with his disciples. He lays a foundation that singleness is a high calling. Singleness often equates to our modern mind as “aloneness”. But biblical singleness aligns best with the idea of “single-mindedness”. Of being undivided in our attention. Singleness can be a precious time when we can focus ourselves on our relationship with God without distraction. We usually don’t see singleness as the gift it is while we’re single. Culture, and our own God-give desires, cause us to focused on finding the right person, settling down, starting a family, etc. And for the vast majority of us, this will be God’s will. But all of us have had moments of singleness, and God would have us use that time for drawing deeply into him.

To be single is to be set apart. To be made separate for a holy purpose. In Scripture, certain items AND people were set apart and dedicated to God. This is what it means to be sacred. God sees your time of singleness - however long it lasts - as sacred time.

Singleness allows single-minded devotion. As a single person you are positioned to pursue God’s will with undivided attention. In one sense, then, singleness reflects a shift in focus with the coming of Jesus. Prior to Jesus, preeminence is given to marriage to fulfill the original command to multiply and fill the earth. This command is not obsolete, but perhaps replaced with a more preeminent command to now populate the kingdom of heaven.

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:32–35, NRSV)

Here is where we see a gift in singleness. The period of singleness may feel like Jesus’ 40 days fasting in the wilderness. That wilderness time was hard - even for Jesus. But could Jesus has accomplished his task without it? It was through that wilderness struggle that Jesus was forged for mission. Singleness is hard, but it can also be the sacred space where God forges you into the person he can entrust with the keys to his kingdom. Your singleness is not a call to isolation but single-mindedness sacredness.

You are complete.

“Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.” So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:26–27, NRSV)

I have read this passage most of my life in the context of marriage. I read the male and female spoken of here as a reference to Adam and Eve, the first married couple. But this is not a statement about Adam and Eve; it is a statement about humankind in general. Human males AND human females both carry the image of God, and they do so independently of one another. Both are equally and independently image bearers, both equally and independently carry God’s dominion and authority.

With my assumption came another mistake, that humankind only reflects God’s image fully when done in a complementary pair of husband and wife. But that’s not what the passage says. Notice that it says “male and female”, not “male with female”. Later, when God says that it is not good for Adam to be alone, God is making a statement about his aloneness, not his marital status.

Whether you are male or female, you are a whole person. There is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing lacking with you. You are a complete human without a spouse. You are a fully entitled image-bearers. Culture sings a song that you are incomplete if single. Refuse to heed that song. Listen to the song of heaven. God calls you to reject the siren call of culture and embrace the gospel truth that in Jesus Christ you are whole.

Tuning in

Have you ever heard the phrase, “between a rock and a hard place”? This also comes from the Odyssey, the phrase originally being “between Scylla and Charybdis”. The hero Odysseus must travel through the deadly Straits of Messina. On one side of the straits is the six-headed monster Scylla, while on the other side lies the monstrous whirlpool Charybdis. To pass through the waters he must face one of these two terrible choices.

Today’s culture tells us that a life of singleness faces the choice between two monsters, the Scylla of solitude and unmet longing or the Charybdis of sexual compromise. But in reality, these aren’t the only options. There is another way. One where the siren’s song of culture is drowned out by God’s song. Where singleness IS wholeness, and where the single life and the married life are two intricately related mysteries that anticipate the same future reality - human beings, whole, complete, and united with God and each other in perfect oneness. My prayer for you this morning if you are single is that by God’s grace your eyes will be more attuned to God’s song. The gospel reveals to us what God sings: You are mine, You have a sacred purpose, You are complete.

Communion

The only thing that has ever been wrong with any of us is our aloneness and separation from God. For we were made for him first and foremost, and apart from him we cannot truly thrive. This is a problem now healed through Jesus Christ.

And so we are bold to pray...

The Lords Prayer

Words of Institution