Unbridled Grief

David - A Man After God’s Own Heart

We have been looking over the last month or so at some of the scenes from the life of King David. There were some disastrous moments when David failed miserably. These passages are not the typical ones that you hear or the typical sermons I have preached on the life of David. We have dealt with David’s lustful fiasco that culminated with him committing adultery - sexual assault really, as Bathsheba had no choice in the matter - and finally, murder. We have dealt with some of the consequences of that incident in his life - the death of 3 of his sons, 1 an unnamed infant just 7 days old; 1, Amnon, at the hands of another of David’s sons, Absalom, as a result of his rape and rejection of Absalom’s sister, Tamar; and finally the death of Absalom - a son that had turned his back on his father and mounted a coup to take David’s life and overtake his father’s throne. These years of David’s life seem to be one tragedy after another!

Let’s pick up the story from there:

2 Samuel 18:19–33 NIV

19 Now Ahimaaz son of Zadok said, “Let me run and take the news to the king that the Lord has vindicated him by delivering him from the hand of his enemies.” 20 “You are not the one to take the news today,” Joab told him. “You may take the news another time, but you must not do so today, because the king’s son is dead.” 21 Then Joab said to a Cushite, “Go, tell the king what you have seen.” The Cushite bowed down before Joab and ran off. 22 Ahimaaz son of Zadok again said to Joab, “Come what may, please let me run behind the Cushite.” But Joab replied, “My son, why do you want to go? You don’t have any news that will bring you a reward.” 23 He said, “Come what may, I want to run.” So Joab said, “Run!” Then Ahimaaz ran by way of the plain and outran the Cushite. 24 While David was sitting between the inner and outer gates, the watchman went up to the roof of the gateway by the wall. As he looked out, he saw a man running alone. 25 The watchman called out to the king and reported it. The king said, “If he is alone, he must have good news.” And the runner came closer and closer. 26 Then the watchman saw another runner, and he called down to the gatekeeper, “Look, another man running alone!” The king said, “He must be bringing good news, too.” 27 The watchman said, “It seems to me that the first one runs like Ahimaaz son of Zadok.” “He’s a good man,” the king said. “He comes with good news.” 28 Then Ahimaaz called out to the king, “All is well!” He bowed down before the king with his face to the ground and said, “Praise be to the Lord your God! He has delivered up those who lifted their hands against my lord the king.” 29 The king asked, “Is the young man Absalom safe?” Ahimaaz answered, “I saw great confusion just as Joab was about to send the king’s servant and me, your servant, but I don’t know what it was.” 30 The king said, “Stand aside and wait here.” So he stepped aside and stood there. 31 Then the Cushite arrived and said, “My lord the king, hear the good news! The Lord has vindicated you today by delivering you from the hand of all who rose up against you.” 32 The king asked the Cushite, “Is the young man Absalom safe?” The Cushite replied, “May the enemies of my lord the king and all who rise up to harm you be like that young man.” 33 The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!”

Joab knew that the news that was about to be shared with the king was a double edged sword. On the one hand, the coup had been unsuccessful - David’s army was victorious, and the traitor was dead. But, as we talked about last week, the instructions from King David were to keep Absalom safe if at all possible. The good news of victory was bittersweet at best, as it came with the news of Absalom’s death. Joab knew that the news of victory would be outweighed by the grief of a father for his son!

I. David’s GRIEF.

I can only begin to imagine the depth of David’s grief. This is not the first son that David had lost. I have witnessed the first hand deep grief of a parent who loses a child. At this point in his life, David has lost at least 3 sons. He is so grieved here that he is barely able to make sense with his words. He just keeps repeating himself - my son, my son, Absalom. Most parents would rather give up their own life than to lose the life of a son or daughter. David, although he was king, was no different. There are three apparent reasons for David’s grief. The first is…

A. His son’s DISSENT.

David was grieved at his son’s dissent. His son had rebelled against him. Absalom had acted in open disobedience against his father and against God. He led a coup attempt against his father. His rebellion rose to the level of wanting his father to die so that he could be king.

Everybody rebels in some sense - although there are certainly levels to the rebellion. We all have to make our own way in the world, and inevitably, that means we will sometimes consciously make decisions that are contrary to the decisions made by our parents. Good parents try so hard to keep their kids on the right path, but sometimes the kids wander off the path. Certainly that brings a level of grief as we are trying to help our kids avoid some of the pitfalls of life.

I’m sure there were times in David’s later life that he saw himself as a failure in being a father. He had let his family down, and if he was anything like us, he would have played his mistakes over and over in his mind. When we began this sermon series, we looked at perhaps David’s greatest failure - his downward spiral with Bathsheba, from lust, to sexual assault, really, and then finally murder and cover up. From that time on, his family paid a heavy price for his sin! We often think that our sins affect nobody else but us, but often there are far-reaching consequences that affect those we love in deep ways. Following his own failure, David had seen his family’s reputation and cohesiveness take a horrible tumble.

David was grieved that his son had walked away from him and the way that he had taught him to go. The second aspect of David’s grief was…

B. His son’s DEATH.

Ask any parent who has lost a child, and they will tell you that it was the darkest day of their life. We struggle with the idea of losing loved ones. Many of us in this room and watching on our livestream have experienced great loss over just the last couple of years. It is painful, but we expect to see our grandparents and eventually our parents die. That is the normal life cycle. Losing a child is outside of what we expect to happen. That isn’t how it is supposed to happen. When our granddaughter was going through her battle with leukemia, there was an organization in Columbus that helped reach out and provide for families that were going through pediatric cancers. I love the story of how it began - as I recall, it was started by a teenager whose grandma was going through cancer. She googled cancer to try to understand greater what her grandma was going through when she saw 2 words that she said she didn’t think should ever be put together Pediatric & cancer. So, she decided to get involved and do a fund raiser for kids cancer families at Nationwide Children’s Hospital. We can’t explain why it happens, but sometimes tragedy strikes and the usual order of things is turned upside down. A parent loses a child for whatever reason.

David son was no child, but that doesn’t matter. As most of us who have adult children can attest - our kids are always our kids no matter how old they may be. David was deeply grieved that his rebellious son was dead. It was of little consolation for the king, that the kingdom was saved. That meant nothing to David in the face of his son’s death.

He would rather have died himself, and his son lived. David, like any good parent, was willing to die in the place of his wayward son.

David had hoped to reconcile his relationship with his son. He wanted to patch things up and make their relationship right. He wanted to heal the wounds that had led to Absalom’s rebellion.

The third reason David grieved was there were…

C. No DO OVERS.

The hoped for restoration would never be possible now that Absalom was dead. There would be no chance to work things out now. Death had sealed the deal. Death made the rift between David and Absalom permanent. Nothing could be done to change anything at this point. Death is final.

We see the grief of David for his son’s dissent, death, and the fact that they could not go back and fix things. As long as there is life, there is hope, there are no do-overs once death occurs.

I want us to consider this morning, not just how humans deal with grief, but there are some parallels in David’s reaction to Absalom that we see in our relationship with our heavenly father. We turn now to…

II. God’s GRIEF.

God is not like us in our humanness, but He made humans in His image - we carry His likeness and His image in us. We are to reflect His image to the world around us. While there are certainly differences between our human reactions and God’s, there are certainly some parallels here as well. God grieves because of…

A. Our DISSENT.

Our fallen human nature is bent to rebellion against God. Every one of us have chosen our own way and have turned our backs on the God who made us. Romans 3:23 makes it lear that we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Sin, it has been said, is the love that is due to God being turned in on ourselves. It could be said, that in our sinfulness, we are attempting to oust God from His rightful place. God’s desire is to be the king of our life. When we sin, we are acting to kick him off of the throne of our lives.

This breaks God’s heart. He does not desire to control us for control’s sake, but because He knows what is best for us, and will never fail to lead us in the right way.

Everyone has sinned. We desire to be in control or our lives. That is human nature, but that doesn’t make it right. God wants to be in control of our life. God is as grieved about our rebellion as any parent is when a child rebels against them.

The second aspect of God’s grief is…

B. Our DEATH.

We don’t like to think about our own death - but the truth is that it is inevitable that we will all one day, die. When we die without being reconciled to God, he is grieved. While we aren’t flesh and blood, per se, we are created in the image of God. The Bible tells us in Romans 6:23, “The wages of sin is death.”

It doesn’t make God happy that he is still the God of the universe when someone dies without being reconciled to him. The scripture tells us that God’s desire is that all people would be reconciled to him.

God hopes to be reconciled in his relationship with us. We chose to walk away - we chose to sin, but He sent His Son to make things right in our relationship with Him.

God wants to be reconciled to us because there are…

C. No DO OVERS.

We don’t get a second chance once we die. There’s no coming back. There’s not going to be an opportunity to change our mind.

We don’t get a do-over once this life is over. This life is preparation for the next life. God has done all that needs to be done for our reconciliation, but it is up to us to take the step to accept His offer of forgiveness and life everlasting. There are no second chances.

We look at David’s statement, “Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom.” We can understand David’s grief. Any parent who has buried a child, or seen a child sick, would rather suffer the fate than the child.

Death is final, and there are no do-overs. So what’s the plan? It is…

III. God’s PLAN.

David would have rather died than to lose his Son, God’s plan involved Him coming to earth and living as a human so that He could pay the penalty of our rebellion and give His life for us.

God has given us the…

A. Promised SAVIOR.

God had promised David, in 2 Samuel 7 that he would send the Savior through his descendants. In Matthew 1:1 we find that Jesus Christ is called the Son of David. Jesus is the promised Savior.

In the matter of sin there is a…

B. Required DEATH.

Death is the penalty for sin. “The wages of sin is death.” The penalty must be paid.

David said that he would have died for his son, but Jesus did die for us. Our debt has been paid.

Death isn’t where it ends. There is…

C. New LIFE.

Jesus offers us eternal life in Heaven. Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but it doesn’t stop there, it says: but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Conclusion

Maybe you’re running from God this morning. If you are, know that He is passionately pursuing you! He loves you, and wants what is best for you and for your family. Your rebellion probably doesn’t rise to the level of Absalom’s rebellion, or even David’s, but when we put ourselves on the throne of our own lives, we reject our Heavenly Father and turn our backs on Him to our own defeat. We want to be in charge. When we ask Jesus to be our Savior, we are asking him to be the King of life. We want to put him on the throne of our life, which is where he belongs.

Bow your heads. Close your eyes.

Is Jesus Lord of your life today? Or are you one that He is passionately pursuing this morning. Jesus is waiting for you to ask him to be King of your life. The gift of God is eternal life, and it’s free.

If you would like Jesus to come into your heart today, pray with me silently.

Dear Jesus, I’m tired of trying to be my own king. I am sorry that I have tried to be my own king. I want you be my King and Savior. Thank you, Jesus.

With your heads bowed and no one looking around, if you just prayed that prayer, indicate it by raising your hand. Tell someone today that you prayed that prayer.