Homily for the Twenty-First Sunday in Ordinary Time (B) 2021

On the 13th of May, 1917, the Blessed Virgin Mary appeared to three shepherd children in the small Portuguese town of Fatima. The children’s names were Lucia, Francisco and Jacinta. Our Lady would appear to them a total of five times, on the 13th of each month, with her final apparation occuring on the 13th of October, 1917. During the first appearance, Our Lady simply made herself known to the children and assured them they would attain eternal life. At the second appearance, Our Lady showed them her Immaculate Heart, pierced by the sins of humanity. She also revealed that Francisco and Jacinta would come to her soon, while Lucia would remain "some time longer” for "Jesus wishes to make use of you.” Indeed, Francisco and Jacinta died from the Spanish Flu in 1919 and 1920 respectively, only a couple of years after the apparations, while Lucia lived a long life as a Carmelite nun. At her third appearance in July, 1917, the Blessed Virgin revealed to the children the famous “Fatima Secret” about the fate of the world. In time, Sr Lucia revealed the Fatima secret to her bishop and the pope, and parts of it have been made known in three stages.

A few years ago, the Italian Cardinal Carlo Caffara reflected on some correspondence he had had with Sr Lucia. In the 1980’s, when Cardinal Caffara was simply a priest, he was tasked by Pope John Paul II with establishing the Pontifical John Paul II Institude for Studies on Marriage and the Family. The purpose of the institute was to study and promote the Catholic vision of marriage, sexuality and the family. Cardinal Caffara relates that there were many people inside and outside the church who did not want the institute to be established and these people made its foundation extremely difficult. In a moment of acute exasperation, Cardinal Caffara wrote to Sr Lucia for counsel. She replied with words of immense significance in the light of the Fatima apparitions and secret: “Father,” she wrote, “a time will come when the decisive battle between the kingdom of Christ and Satan will be over marriage and the family. And those who will work for the good of the family will experience persecution and tribulation. But do not be afraid, because Our Lady has already crushed his head.” The Cardinal reflected: “Sr Lucia’s words are taking place today.” Over the last sixty years Satan has unleashed a comprehensive and devastating spiritual attack on marriage and family life. During this time, the very meaning and viability of marriage and family life have been throughly undermined by contraception, divorce, abortion, sterilisation, IVF, pornography, the rising cost of living, so-called same-sex marriage, and gender ideology. Moreover, Satan’s attack is not theoretical or abstract. It is aimed directly at you, your marriage, and your family.

Why are marriage and family life the focus of such fierce attack from Satan? Quite simply, because Satan knows the meaning of marriage and family life and he knows how significant they are to God’s plan for the salvation of humanity. St Paul explained this meaning and significance to the Christians of Ephesus two-thousand years ago and the Catholic Church has handed this teaching on unpolluted to each generation of humanity. This teaching was no less counter-cultural in Saint Paul’s day than it is in our own day. St Paul teaches: “Wives should regard their husbands as they regard the Lord… Husbands should love their wives just as Christ loved the Church...” In other words, Christian marriage is a living sign of the love Jesus has for the Church and the love the Church has for Jesus. Jesus and the Church are literally married. But we know the Church is constituted by souls, not buildings, so to say that Jesus is married to the Church is to say that Jesus is married to you and that you, in your baptism, were married to Jesus. Remember, you wore a white dress at your baptism, a wedding dress. St Paul reitreates that marriage “has many implications; but I am saying that it applies to Christ and the Church.” Time and again throughout the Old and New Testaments, the sacred writers can find no more accurate description for God’s relationship with humanity than marriage. This is not simply a poetic description of human invention. God Himself designed marriage for this lofty purpose: to be a living sign in daily life of the way he wants to relate to each soul.

In marriage, man and woman give themselves to each other so completely that they become one, new, unified identity and reality. Unpacking the teaching of Christ, the Catholic Church explains that the mutual self-gift which is the essence of marriage has four constitutive elements: freedom, totality, faithfulness and fruitfulness. Marriage must be free because authentic love is free; it can never be forced or coerced. Marriage must be total, that is, it involves the whole person, not just the parts that I want to give on any particular day. Marriage must be faithful, that is, it involves the firm and complete renunciation of all competing loves. Finally, marriage must be fruitful, that is, continuously open to the gift of children. These four constitutve elements of marriage are the four constitutive elements of the way God relates to us and the way he wants us to relate to him. God’s love for you is free, total, faithful and fruitful.

Each of these four constitutive elements of marriage is rejected by our civilisation, just as they were rejected by the civilisations to whom St Paul preached. In our civilisation, many people enter marriage without true freedom because they live lives of sin. Sin enslaves and wounds: it takes away our ability to freely say yes to that which is true, good, and beautiful; it creates wounds that damage our character and the integrity of our will. In our civilisation, the total gift of oneself in marriage is everywhere derided. How many husbands selfishly carve out parts of their day or week for the fulfilment of their own will and desires without reference to, or consideration for, their wife? How many wives do the same? In our civilisation, the faithfulness of a life-long marriage is no longer accepted as normative; it is everywhere accepted as the exception to the rule or even as unhealthy. In our civilisation, it is no longer accepted that marriage must be open to life. Contraception, abortion, sterilisation, IVF and same-sex marriage - all of which are now erroniously considered rights - destroy married love. A marriage that is not free, total, faithful or fruitful is not a marriage.

So what does a free, total, faithful, fruitful marriage that resembles the love of God for each soul look like on a daily basis? To be absolutely blunt, it looks like the Cross. Jesus is the marriage of God and humanity in one flesh. The Cross was a test of that marriage. Was the marriage of God and humanity in Jesus really free, total, faithful and fruitful? In order to be true to that marriage, the human part of Jesus had to put that marriage ahead of even physical life itself; in other words, the human part of Jesus had to die. If your marriage is not crucifying you every day, you’re doing it wrong. Saint Paul says exactly this. “Give way to one another in obedience to Christ… As the Church submits to Christ, so should wives to their husbands… Husbands should love their wives just as Christ loved the Church and sacrificed himself for her to make her holy...” Waking up and striving to make your spouse’s life easier and holier each day instead of pursuing your own whims will crucify you. Working each day in a job that is only somewhat rewarding or managing a household in order to provide for your family will crucify you. Lifelong fidelity to your spouse will crucify you. Being open to life and raising the number of children God gives you will crucify you.

Marriage thus understood is, indeed, a superhuman task and we can only live it with the superhuman helps that God gives us in the sacraments. First, God made marriage a sacrament. In sacramental marriages, the love of husband and wife expressed on a daily basis becomes a window through which grace pours into the family. Second, God gave us Confession. If you can say sorry to God, you can say sorry to your spouse; and if God can forgive you, then you can forgive your spouse. Third, God gave us the Mass. In the Mass, we unite ourselves to the crucifixion of Christ and, in so doing, Christ unites himself to our daily crucifixions. These divine helps make it possible for your marriage and family life to shine as a beacon of the love God has for each soul.