Sunday Sermon Colosssians 3:20-21



Thank you for that wonderful message of music this morning that brought us to the throne of grace so that we could obtain mercy and grace in our time of need which is now!
Have you ever though of that? Of what you might say?
Hebrews 4:16 NKJV
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
I don’t know about you, but it seems like I am always in a time of need.
I need more of Jesus and less of me! How about you?
We are so glad that each one of you are here this morning to worship God in Spirit and in Truth, one verse at a time.
Let us open our Bibles to Colossians 3

Read Colossians 3:18-22


Lord, thank you for your Word for it is living and eternal ,its transforms and sanctifies the lives of those who are willing to devour it! Thank you Lord that we have the privilege of gathering together to experience grace and to have you meet us where we are at. Father, we do ask you for mercy and grace in our time of need which is now. We have all come with different burdens and struggles that only you know and that need a touch from heaven. We ask Lord that you give us a double portion of your Spirit and that you would remove any distractions that would prevent us from receiving your implanted Word which is able to save our souls. Please Lord, do a work in our hearts this morning, and please Lord draw those back that have not been here for a while. Break that bondage of isolation and self-pity that holds many of us hostage. And help us Lord to not look to the things that are seen, but rather unseen. Lord make this message clear and may it move from our heads, to our hearts, to our hands.
In Jesus Name we love You, Amen!!!
We have come as far as verse 20 but before we dive in, I wanted to give a quick little refresher course.


As we have journeyed through the book of Colossians we have learned that false teachers were attempting to attack the supremacy of Jesus Christ in the church and Epaphras came to Paul in prison and let him know.
Paul then writes Colossians to refute the teaching and to set things in order for the church.
I think it important to remember that Epaphras travel about 1200-1300 miles from Colossae to Rome for the sake of the Gospel, for the sake of overseeing the church
Paul did not plant this church, but rather Epaphras did who was the pastor, he had passed the baton the church to Archippus and went to find the Apostle Paul.
There was no Alaskan airlines, or Expedia for that matter. He sailed some of the route, hiked, and may have rode on an animal.
Would you travel 1300 miles to protect and save the church from corruption? How far would you go church for the sake of the Gospel?
I am reminded of when Paul was leaving the church of Ephesus and he wrote this as he handed off the baton to young Timothy:
Acts 20:27–30 NKJV
For I have not shunned to declare to you the whole counsel of God. Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood. For I know this, that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock. Also from among yourselves men will rise up, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after themselves.
Nothing has changed church, this is still happening today.
As we moved through the first two chapters we learned about Christology and what the false teaching was.
Paul then moved us from the doctrine of the first two chapters, to duty in the last two chapters and this is where we have been.
Paul gave us many imperatives church, but I wanted to key in on three because if we do not have these in our hearts, they will not exist in our homes.
We Let the peace of God to rule or be the umpire of our hearts. We all the peace of God to direct our decision making and the words we speak to one another.
We Let the Word of Jesus Christ, the whole counsel of God dwell with in our hearts. If it is dwelling which means residing inside of us, then not only will our minds be getting renewed church, but we will be getting sanctified! John 17:17
We do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. And guess what? Everything, means everything by word, thought, or deed.
And if the Word of God is not dwelling within our hearts, and our minds are not being controlled and renewed, then guess what?
The peace of God will not rule in our hearts or our homes, therefore, the wives will not submit to their husbands, and husbands will not love their wives.
If these two are not going on in the home church, then chances are the kiddos are struggling to obey.
Colossians 3:20 NKJV
Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
We have come this far and you might be thinking why are we looking at this text again church?
It is because children our the churches future and I think it is important to share a few more texts regarding children.
If a child cannot obey their parents, they will not obey their teachers, nor their employers, and thus the laws of the land and law enforcement.
Throughout Scripture children are taught to honor and obey their parents repeatedly, why?
It is because we are forgetful and repetition is our greatest teacher.
We looked at this text last week and I think it is the baseline for what we are talking about:
Exodus 20:12 NKJV
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
Just a reminder that this is the first commandment with promise and the promise is a long life.
Disobedience has caused many over the years to die young
Children are called to listen to their parents’ instruction and obey it:
Proverbs 1:8–10 NKJV
My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck. My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent.
What we see here church is paternal tenderness blended with divine authority >>My Son
Instruction should have an element of authority that God has given the parents and they must exercise it, not the child.
Today, we have too many parents trying to be best friends or buddy’s with their kids and God has not called us to do this, but rather parent our children well.
Many kids are parenting the parents and that is simply because there is a breakdown in the home. 
The authority structure has been shattered. 
Relationships between parents and children are almost nonexistent. 
Children do not seem to have much discipline and there is little respect for parents. 
Children basically are not being taught obedience in the home.
As believers we must teach our children the ways of the Lord
Proverbs 6:20–22 NKJV
My son, keep your father’s command, And do not forsake the law of your mother. Bind them continually upon your heart; Tie them around your neck. When you roam, they will lead you; When you sleep, they will keep you; And when you awake, they will speak with you.
Here again we see parental tenderness, a child’s obedience, with Divine authority.
And if we continued looking at the Scriptures regarding the parent child relationship we would see this over and over throughout the Biblical text.
Parents God has given us a command to teach and train our children:
Deuteronomy 6:4–9 NKJV
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
This is the Jewish Shema and it refers to a couple verses (6:4-5), it became a daily prayer in Ancient Israelite tradition.
Notice that the Lord God is one? It is because Isreal was steeped in a polytheistic culture(poly= many/ theistic= gods)
Shema= hear in Hebrew and we see this as the first word here in the text
It’s the equivalent of the Lord’s prayer (“Our Father in heaven…”) in Christian tradition.
It forms an important part of Jewish evening and morning prayer and is used as a Jewish confession of faith.
I want us to notice a few things:
Notice that command to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and with all your strength church.
If we do this, then guess what?
We will diligently teach them to our children
However, the same is true, if we do not love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, then we will not teach them to our children.
However, we do teach our children what we truly love like, riding a bike, or fishing, or cooking, sewing, skiing, hiking, backpacking, gardening, church. The list goes on and on.
And my point is that we only teach our children those things that we love
And besides, if we don’t love God like we are called to, then we will not be walking it out in our homes.
2. We are to teach our children the ways of the Lord.
Teach-šānan v. (sha-nan) — to teach and impress by frequent repetitions or admonitions. It also means to sharpen.
Let us teach our children the things of God church!
Because: “If we don’t teach our children to follow Christ, the world will teach them not to.”
Proverbs 22:6 NKJV
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Share what this means...

Disobedience to parents marks the ungodly: “Men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy” (2 Tim. 3:2;

Children are to obey their parents in all things.
The only limit placed on a child’s obedience is when a parent demands something contrary to God’s law.
Jesus knew that some children would have to defy their parents to come to faith in Him.
This happens often especially in the various world religions...
So let us remember that children are commanded by God to obey their parents.
Obey-hupakouo- (hoop-ak-oo'-o) (“under” + “to listen”) – to listen, to obey, to harken, to submit to.
If a family is submitting to the Lord, then submission to one another will be a natural by-product.
Here is Colossians 3:20, this imperative for children to obey demands continuous action.
Colossians 3:20 NKJV
Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
So let us honor and obey our parents y’all!
If we do not teach our children the ways of the Lord, thew world will teach them its ways.
The motive for obedience is that it is well-pleasing to the Lord, commendable before God Himself.
Many young people and old folks struggle with knowing God’s will for their lives.
Obeying is a great place to start, church.
If you only had one sentence to tell a bunch of new Christians from a pagan culture how to relate to their children, what would you say? Look at Colossians 3:21
Colossians 3:21 NKJV
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
The verse parallels Ephesians 6:4:
Ephesians 6:4 NKJV
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Some scholars believe that the word fathers in Colossians 3:21 could be translated “parents,” as it is here in:
Hebrews 11:23 NKJV
By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden three months by his parents, because they saw he was a beautiful child; and they were not afraid of the king’s command.
And although in some sense I would agree with them, I would also say that this is more typically a father’s sin.
So as we go through it, let us all catch a glimpse of what this text is saying unto us.
If you have ever witnessed a father or mother provoking or other version say exasperate, embitter, or aggravate, it is one the most disheartening things you will ever experience.
Provoke-erethizō (challenge) v. — to stir someone to action, as if by challenging them to a contest; sometimes negatively, to the point of exasperation, to irritate.
Paul is giving us yet another imperative or command to not irritate or embitter our children church.
Another way to phrase Paul’s command is, “stop nagging your kids.
If we have done this, if we are doing this, it is a sin and we must repent.
If you are do this, please stop it church, please stop it men.
Men have a tendency to provoke not only to provoke their children, but their wives, others, and even their pets. STOP IT!
Paul lays it out for us really well and really simple church; if we provoke our children they will become discouraged or other translations say lose heart:
Failure to obey this can cause children to lose heart. The idea of that term is “to be without courage, or spirit.” It has the sense of being listless, sullen, discouraged, or despairing. Parents can take the heart out of their children by failing to discipline them lovingly and instruct them in the ways of the Lord with balance.
Here is a little illustration for you to chew on from a fellow believer:
During much of my college years, I worked for a store which had a large part of the trade of the rodeo cowboys in southern California. I learned there are at least two ways to break a horse. One is with the progressive use of a halter, bit, blanket, and saddle. Done correctly, this can produce a full-spirited, obedient horse. Another way is sometimes used with especially difficult horses. The method is simple. The wrangler simply takes a 2 x 4 and knocks the rebellious horse to its knees. A horse, it is said, can be tamed this way, but with great cost. You will have a spiritless animal, an animal that though “obedient” will never be what it could have been. There are children who are like this. Their spirits have been broken, they are “obedient,” but something is missing. They have, to use Paul’s words in verse 21, “[lost] heart” (nasb). They withdraw and keep it all inside. Or they rebel when they get big enough. The results are painful either way.
There are several ways parents can cause their children to lose heart:
First, parents can provoke or irritate their children by overprotection.
Overprotective parents never allow their children any liberty.
They have strict rules about everything. No matter what their children do, overprotective parents do not trust them.
Because nothing they do earns their parents’ trust, children begin to despair and may believe that how they behave is irrelevant. That can lead to rebellion.
Parents are to provide rules and guidelines for their children, but those rules should not become a noose that strangles them. Above all, parents must communicate to their children that they trust them.
Second, parents provoke or irritate their children by showing favoritism.
That is often done unwittingly by comparing a child unfavorably to siblings or classmates.
Third, parents provoke or irritate their children by discrediting their worth.
Many children have been convinced that what they do and feel are not important.
Communicating to children that they are not significant. Many parents depreciate their children’s worth by refusing to listen to them.
Children who are not listened to may give up trying to communicate and become discouraged, shy, and withdrawn.
Fourth, parents provoke or irritate their children by setting unrealistic goals.
Parents can do that by never rewarding them, or never letting them feel they have succeeded. Nothing is enough, so the children never get full approval.
Such parents are often trying to make their children into something they themselves were not.
The results can be tragic. Some children become so frustrated that they commit suicide.
Fifth, parents provoke or irritate their children by failing to show affection.
Parents need to communicate love to their children both verbally and physically. Failing to do so will discourage and alienate a child.
Sixth, some parents provoke or irritate their children by not providing for their needs.
Children need things like privacy, a place to play, clean clothes, a place to study, their own possessions, and good meals.
By providing those necessities, parents show their respect and concern for their children.
Seventh, parents provoke or irritate their children by a lack of standards.
This is the flip side of overprotection. When parents fail to discipline, or discipline inconsistently, children are left on their own. They cannot handle that kind of freedom and begin to feel insecure and unloved.
Eighth, parents provoke or irritate their children by criticism.
Haim Ginott wrote, “A child learns what he lives. If he lives with criticism he does not learn responsibility. He learns to condemn himself and to find fault with others. He learns to doubt his own judgment, to disparage his own ability, and to distrust the intentions of others. And above all, he learns to live with continual expectation of impending doom” (Between Parent and Child [New York: Macmillan, 1965], p. 72). Parents should seek to create in the home a positive, constructive environment.
Ninth, parents provoke or irritate their children by neglect.
The classic biblical example is Absalom. David was indifferent to him, and the result was rebellion, civil war, and Absalom’s death. Parents need to be involved in their children’s lives.
Finally, parents provoke or irritate their children by excessive discipline.
This is the parent who abuses his children, either verbally, emotionally, or physically. Parents often say things to their children that they would never say to anyone else.
They should never discipline their children in anger. Rather, parents should lovingly correct their children, just as their heavenly Father does them.
I close with a perspective by Dorothy Law Nolte entitled “Children Learn What They Live”:
If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
he learns to find love in the world.


Lord, forgive us for not obey our parents and for not raising up our children in the fear and the admonition of the Lord. Forgive us also if we have provoked our children even to the point of discouraging them. Father please encourage our children and help them come to the place of them forgiving us., For those of us that were discouraged at times by our parents, please through the power of your Spirit help us to forgive. From this day forward we commit to fulfilling the commands that you have laid out for our lives as children and as parents. Empower us Lord to walk in the Spirit, so we do not obey the lust of the flesh thereof. In Jesus Name we love you! Amen and Amen!


Are there any announcements?
Brothers and Sisters be humble, not harsh or proud, walk in integrity, live and breath honesty, show and ask for forgiveness, have difficult talks, and love other well. This is not just for parents of children, but for us all.


Proverbs 23:25 NKJV
Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her who bore you rejoice.

Proverbs 23:25

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