Aaron & Claire Wedding
Notes
Transcript
Dear Aaron and Claire, family & friends, Congregation of our Lrod Jesus Christ,
It doesn’t seem like rocket science does it? Just love each other. If you would actually do that marriage easiest most fulfiling thing in the world. But just like dunding a non-profit or hitting a golf ball - to us on the outside who have never done it - seems like that must be doable, none thing to it. Apparently really loving each other in deep and true and lasting way is harder than it first appears from the outside, at first glance. And I am not just talking about the painful reality of divorce, but of marriages, even friendships that sure they go on, but never get much beyond liking each other , convience of doing life together.
Before we can put your text together, the first thing we must do is make sure we understand what it is is from the outset you are being called to.
A. Aaron & Claire, you are called not to like each other but to love each other.
The way our culture defines love is to like soemthing. I love icecream, really love pralines and cream. But I really really really prailines and cream Icecream with a little baileys and wip cream. So easy to think we like friends, family, really like a few of them more intensely, and now I really really really like Aaron or Claire. I mean in this sense what do you really really like in life - the things that make you feel good, give you pleasure, sataifaction. Why people think roamntic love is infactuation - just crazy about make me feel so good, thrill me, please me. Golf, sky diving, certain types of work, food. All that stuff doesn’t take much effort and just kind of comes naturallyy, insticntive something evn pyscial about it - just find yourself liking or not liking. When it comes to people - superficial way - appearance, temprerment, behvioours or certain mannerisms. And there is a reason that marriage vows don’t say to Have and hold to like all the days of my life. No love is not just like to a higher degree. Talk to any married couple - the like meter goes up and down, like carzy - but what makes love love isn’t superficial like that is more intense than usual. Love isn’t just natural instinctive, it ivolves the core of your being deciiging, love penetrates into your soul. It is bigger and deeper. An esential part of love is that it is a verb, a decision, an action - it goes out of its way , it overcomes obstacles and excuses. Love goes beyond what it doesn’t like and it shrinks that away, in order to see the person is behind all those things you like and don’t like!
I know you like each other a lot and that its great, But Christain love means more then all those appreciating likes. Appreciative likes - things that are good for you. But love, agape love, Chritain love - love that is rooted in who God is and how God loves, its not based on how much there is is or sisn’t to appreciate and like in oanother person, Agape love looks beyond that to the person and - I am looking beyond like s and dislikes and I in self-giving .laying down my life - interests, money, time, - I want to help to benefit to seethat person flourish. Love isn’t first of all what can I get out of it - agape love, self-giving love is soemthing lke God’s love, not deserved earned, doesn’t give you the lover something first of all, but adds to the beauty and florusihing of the other!
That’s the essence of agape love that marriage is designed to reflect and show this world. 1 John 3:16
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
This is talking about wonder of the love of God in the person of Jesus Christ, to Aaron to Claire, to any here who would come to know the love of God in the life and person of GOd’s Son sent to earth. They believe and experience that God - isn’t waiting for them to be good enogh, they aren’t trying to put their goody two-shoes best feeet forward pretend they deserve God’s love. They own their weakness and sin, borken, imperfect sinful people - and recognize God doesn’t want us to stay broken, imperfect, always trying to earn love , yet alwway feeling never really live up to it. No they know that as the Scriptures say, while we wre yet sinners, likving ass regbels, cutting God out afraid of his holiness, God setn hhis Son to this world, though we ignroed, down played, even put HIm on a Cross, God did this because of His pure love; and now John is saying - you experience God’s self-giving, undeserved, just want you to flourish because I olve you love. - Now, you know how you are going to find real life and real love in your relationships, by laying your life down for each other. Not waiting for the other to earn not basing how much you help and care do , based on how much the other is putting into at the moment, or how much you feel you like them. But loving the person. Jesus says, you’ll loose your life if just live by like,s and only love based on how they other desrves it - but if you lose your life in giving your life to another - find true life and find true love!
Kind of like Billy Crystlal in the Princess Bride, mostly dead Wesley - Miracle Maxc, what you got that is still worth living for - TRUE LOVE - we remain spiritually rand relationship just living lesser likes until we laern to love with self-giving love of God!
But there is also one more thing, you must get straight before seeking to live out this love that is more than just like. Before we get to John’s very down to earth way of how you must begin loving each other, we’ve got to get the source of this loving right. And that is in the first two words of your text. Little children.
B. You Have a Well of Agape Love when You are Living as Children of God!
Now this may seem kind of trite. Here is the oldest living apostle writiing to Christians about how to have new life in Christ and then how to live, and you may think he calls us llittle children because then man is like 90 years old, term of endearment. But that’s not it, he calls believers children of God because its not John that is our old Father, but he too is like a little ltlittel child, and its is the Livign God who has become our Father. Traditional marriage who give sthis woman to this man. Actually in the case of blevers, lke Aaron and Claire, even more than them coming from the Cameron household Veenstra household, it is God himself that has adopted Aaaron and Claire, It is God Himself who says, I have given you such love in Jesus Christ. 1 JOhn 3:1a
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
And so Claire and Aaron -God’s dear children, and He gives them to each other, and He with aportion of His SApirit makes them one. So many people come to marriage out of a postion of emptiness, and they think that it is the job of their spouse to comeote them, as if there happiness and purpose and it all hangs on them. But Chrstain filled to full with thoverflowing love of God - thy come to marriage as God’s beloeved children and heirs; they don’t just have a few wedding presents to share into tgether, they dont a few savings, and place to live, they have Almghity God’s resourece and find fulness in His kgindom and his riches - They are not empty love sponges that just suck the life out of erything and everyone that they like. They Are full to the brim of God’s love and loving God mback it splashes out to those around them! And I got to say this to you Aaron and Claire. Missionary Amy Carmichael - you need a dialy inflow and ddialyy outflow. As lvoe of Gdo fills you - worship , prayer, reading God’s word, in lving among His people being church, you ar filled. But here is the really interesting thing, if a river just flows into a body o water let’s say a lake, if there is no outlflow to other streams and rivers that runto the ocean - what happens to that lake, - stagnant stale stinking water. With the inflow - you are chagned by taht love and your heart becomes liek the heart of God - Look at 1 John 2:10
Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling.
When you agpe love its because your abiding in God iwho is love.
See what happens is on our own we can just do the liking thing, the appreciative love not the agape love. But Even thoguh our love isn’t like God’s perect full love, its not the same degree as whaat Jesus did on the Corss, still like a drop of dew on cold mrning -even though its not the sun - it refracts and sparkeless taht same light travelled thousand of kilometers. That same new kind of love, gets refracted, reflected and shines out of you, thats’ the source of true agape loving.
So John says, 1 John 4:7
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
Aaron and Claire aren’t just religious people because they try to be nice and like everyone and do good things. They knowing God in Jesus Christ, they experiencing and being transformed by His love, deep in their souls they have been spiritually born again and that is the source of how they must love each other, with a self-g9vign love. God doesn’t command us to like that will happen naturally and its a good thing, but even when we don’t like, especially when the ugly parts of us show, we are called to live out this love that chagnes everything!
And this brings us to the nitty gritty of your wedding text. You’ve got the difference between just extremem liking and really agape loving. You’ve got the princile of agape love and you can say yes commtied anc covenanted to live in that love, we’re IN love. But now John takes the princples of that highest most ideal love, and says you’ve got to figurre out how to live that out in the humdrum dtails of the small things of daily life with each other. And here is where you will eaither demonstrate in God-lie action to each other or nor. here is where either you will give to the one in their need that God has put bebore you - or withdrraw in selfishness. You ask any married couples here, so much of real love isn’t beig heoic deeds - like diying for each other - its little acts of selfgiving kindness!
C. Love is the Most Practical Thing in The World, that must be seeend in your dialy Kindness!
1 John 3:18
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
Of course John isn’t discounting how you must love in word and talk - your words will be how so often you either buld eachother up or tear each other down. But he is saying, you’ve only got that superficial liking if you oonly say I love you so much, and don’t do that loving. You havemade second only to your proimses to God, the most far reaching lifeshpaing vows - committed to actually living doing with each other. And its hypciriscy if just on the sruface of life with wrods. John is saying agape love comes from the very core of your being, not from your lips. It issues from your affections and decisions, your will and mind - so that because you are born gain in this love of God - you actually live it out from the insdie to the outside - you practice this love. Jesus says, its not people who sy they love me, but people who actually do this love that counts in Matthew 25 - those who actually sit down and help someone when they are in trouble, those who practically give helpful ahnd sprpising material gifts, who visit and comfort when sick. Jesus point is that there are some who never get aroudn to actually putting into practice this suposed loe that they have. And then he said, In asmuch as you have done it to one of these the least of my brethern, you have done it unto me. Your marriage if itis to be live din this agape love not in word and sppech but in deed an inthrtuht he truth of God - its going to have to be filled up with 101 little actions, little sacrfices. littell hepingsa nd kindnenss.
The word John uses for loving in deed - is the same we use for ergonomic - the qualities in the design of equipment used at work that contributes to efficiency and productivity. Our love for others should be ergonomically effective in the sense that its distinctive quality should be that it is Christlike in every way. Our love should be productive; it should accomplish the meeting of needs in a tangible way
1 Cor 13 says, you may have some exeptional gifts - do all sorts of big important things, have some great kinwooeldge, may be generous perosn, - but if you hve not love, just empty clanging brass, a tinkling cymbal. THink of Jesus parable of the Good Smaaritian, poor guy waylaid by robbers on the side of ht higway, and one by one a Levite then a Pharisee go by - no I am too busy doing other good things - Jesus asks who proved to be a good niehgbour. One commoner who crossed the street went to him, gave of his life to make sure OK, invested in his reocvery.
In marriage, you can pass each other like ships in the nght, shipping lane, without entering into eachtohers lives to really love. You can live like those in the parable who are the Association of Bystandsers. In marriage, can deeply hurt each other, more so because living so clsely so vulnerablly - and guess what the way you know whetehr the love of G id s in you - isn’t by how religious you are, its isnabout emotionally how close you feel, they way you know whetehr you love God is by - how you are loving eachother - and together and indivdually those around you. God has opeened the bowels of comapssion to you so you start living with the bowels of your compassion open to each other and all around you. God isn’t waiting for your performance to love you, and you msut love eachothers and those around you in the same way!
Aaron and Claire - God designed this marital love, your marriage put into action as a demonstration to us around you - what it means to experience and then live in the very love of God. This is how you and all of us are called not just to love in word and speech but in action and in truth.
It isn't a song, until it's sung.
It isn't a bell, until it's rung.
It isn't love, until it's given away!
Aaron and Claire as Chrsitain the Love of God has been shed abroad, its been poured out into your hearts, and mariage is one of the wonderful places where that love now has to be perfected in you. It has to be mourished and exercesied and preacticed. John says 1 John 2:5
but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him:
You have seen love in action, over the long haul slowly but surely, inflow out flow being made perfet over the long haul with your parents, your grand parents. It was born but it has to be nourished and strength and when it is perfected we can say for me to live is Christ. I bide in the flesh her ebelow for what is needful to you!