Types of Friends

Pastorals: Message Thirty-Six

2 Timothy 4:9-15

ETS: Paul requested the presence of Timothy while reflecting on his different relationships.

ESS: We should be the kind of friend that is beneficial to our companions.

OSS: [MO: Ethical] {SO: I want the hearers to commit to being a faithful, beneficial friend to their companions.}

PQ: What types of friends are mentioned in this text?

UW: Types

Intro.:

TS: Let us examine together the different types of friends we find in this text:

The unfaithful friend. (V. 10a)

Demas

Contrasting from the closing of the previous passage (those who have loved his appearing), Demas loved the present world and thus deserted Paul. Some scholars suggested that Paul’s standards or way of living (the Christian, persecuted life) was too rigorous for Demas.

Demas was formerly a “coworker” with Paul, but in the present passage he deserted Paul. (Merida, 217)

The hurtful friend. (vv. 14-15)

Alexander

Alexander was more of an opponent or enemy than a friend to Paul, but to fit the flow of the sermon, we will consider him a “hurtful friend.”

The two verses suggested that Alexander was harmful to Paul in that he opposed both the Message and the Work of the Gospel.

Notice, though, that Paul confidently stated that the Lord would take care of these type of people (v. 14b)

Furthermore, we ought to be aware of these people who are there to harm and oppose us (not avoid them, just be aware of them and their schemes).

Merida and others (Kostenberger, Guthrie) suggested that Alexander may have had a hand in Paul’s arrest (by either providing information leading to it or being a witness of it).

Noted also, though Alexander is mentioned in 1 Timothy 1:20, there is no strong evidence to suggest that this is the same or a different guy.

The sent friend. (vv. 10b and 12)

Crescens; Titus, Tychicus

Scholars tend to agree that these friends did not desert Paul. Rather, they were sent out by Paul for other missions. (Guthrie, 190-191)

The helpful friend. (v. 11)

Luke and Mark

Luke was the “beloved Physician” of Colossians 4:14. R. Kent Hughes wrote, “Luke was a tough friend for tough times. He was with Paul in prison from the first time to the last...” (260)

Furthermore, Guthrie and Lea agreed that Luke remained with Paul to meet physical needs as a physician (Lea, 253 and Guthrie, 190-191)

Mark, “being useful to me in the ministry” likely met both ministerial needs of “preaching or teaching” as well as personal needs of Paul (Lea, 253). Concerning Mark and Paul’s relationship, Merida wrote, “(concerning Mark’s departure from Paul on the first missionary journey) But Mark gets restored and is later present with Paul during the apostle’s first imprisonment (Col. 4:10). Paul calls him a “coworker” (Phlm 24). Peter also mentions Mark as his “son” (1 Pt. 5:13). Here in 2 Timothy, some 20 years after their separation, Mark makes the short list of reliable friends and companions of Paul. Mark’s story should give fallen Christians hope.” (Merida, 219).

The trustworthy friend. (v. 13)

Carpus

Likely a resident of Troas, Paul, due to the arrest, left important things behind with Carpus (the coat and the literature materials).

The coat would have likely resembled (in structure) a poncho, but it would have been thick material helpful to Paul in the coming winter. The scrolls and parchment could have been several different things (such as portions of Scripture, blank writing sheets, or personal notes of Paul). Either way, they were important and valuable to Paul.

CONCLUSION:

Andreas Kostenberger wrote, “Too often people in the church choose comfort and convenience over solidarity with their persecuted Christian brothers and sisters. Jesus called his followers to take up their cross and follow him (e.g., Matt 16:24). This calls for a realistic mind-set that expects persecution and supports others who are persecuted rather than withdrawing support out of fear or based on a false notion of Christian prosperity that attributes any suffering to personal sin and the withdrawal of God’s favor.” (Kostenberger, 286).

What type of friend have you been? Yes, it is possible to be more than one type, but have you been sent, helpful, or trusted as a friend? Please repent of being hurtful or unfaithful! God does not call us or desire us to be that kind of friend! What stops you from being the type of friend you have been called to be?