Self-Belittlement, Self-Exaltation, & Self-Pity

Introduction

Self-belittlement, self-exaltation, and self-pity all indicate a preoccupation with self. Inordinate attention to self is the exact opposite of God’s commandments to love Him and others. A self-focus also prohibits the development of a Christlike servant attitude in you. If you try to save your life by focusing on self, you will reap a certain consequence; instead of saving your life, you will lose it. (based on Matthew 10:34-39, 22:37-40; Luke 9:23-25)

Man’s View

The wisdom of this world teaches that many of your problems stem from a “bad self-image” or “low self-esteem.” The natural man’s wisdom also states that you must learn to love yourself before you can love others, that you must raise your self-esteem, that your “perceived” needs must be met so you can help others, that you must forgive yourself before you can find peace, that you are of infinite worth because of “the god within” you, or that you must “get in touch” with yourself and your feelings before finding fulfillment in living. All of these views are in error, since they conflict with the truth of God’s Word.

Some of Man’s Mistaken Explanations for a Low View of Self (“poor self-esteem”)

Poor surroundings

Unfulfilling work

Physical handicaps

Belittlement by others

Rejection by parents

Lack of money

Minimal education

No respect from others

Inability to communicate

Misunderstood by people

Slow to learn

No job opportunities

Nagging spouse

Abused as a child

Poor relationships

Some of Man’s Futile Ways of Building Up Self (“high self-esteem”)

Accept yourself

Do not get mad - get even

If you feel like it, do it

Be sure your perceived needs are met

Learn to love yourself

Discover the “god” within

Forgive yourself

Get in touch with yourself

Pursue self-actualization

Assert yourself

Tell of accomplishments

Be your own person

Blameshift

Practice visualization

Some Unbiblical Viewpoints about “Self” Being Taught in Some Churches Today

You have to love yourself before loving others (ignores John 15:12-13; 1 John 4:7-8).

You are created in God’s image, which makes you inherently worthy of God’s grace and of infinite value in His sight (ignores Romans 5:8, 10; 1 Corinthians 1:26-31).

Without good self-esteem, you cannot solve problems, relate to others effectively, and grow spiritually (ignores 2 Corinthians 3:5-6; Philippians 4:13; James 4:6).

The most serious sin in the world is the one in which a person says he is unworthy. The need for self-worth is the greatest of all human needs in the world today (ignores Jeremiah 9:23-24; Luke 17:10).

In order to accomplish anything of significance, positive thinking about one’s self is a necessity (ignores John 15:4-5; Philippians 3:7-14).

We should not talk of sin, hell, or eternal separation from God; we should only build up people (ignores Ezekiel 33:8-9; Luke 3:7, 12:5).

You must learn to forgive yourself in order to find peace and fulfillment in life. If you do not forgive yourself, you cannot understand Jesus’ death on the cross (ignores John 16:33; 1 Corinthians 1:18-21, 2:14; Colossians 2:8-14).

God wants us all to feel good about ourselves; after all, Jesus possessed the greatest self-esteem in the history of mankind (ignores Philippians 2:3-8).

To be born again actually means to be transformed from a negative self-image to a positive self-image (ignores John 3:3-8; 1 Peter 1:23).

God’s View

Proverbs 11:2 (KJV 1900)

When pride cometh, then cometh shame: But with the lowly is wisdom.

Proverbs 14:12 (KJV 1900)

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, But the end thereof are the ways of death.

Proverbs 30:32 (KJV 1900)

If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself, Or if thou hast thought evil, Lay thine hand upon thy mouth.

Isaiah 5:20–21 (KJV 1900)

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; That put darkness for light, and light for darkness; That put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight!

Matthew 23:12 (KJV 1900)

And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.

Luke 9:24 (KJV 1900)

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.

1 Corinthians 1:20 (KJV 1900)

Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?

1 Corinthians 1:25 (KJV 1900)

Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

1 Corinthians 1:27 (KJV 1900)

But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;

1 Corinthians 10:12 (KJV 1900)

Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

2 Timothy 3:2 (KJV 1900)

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

2 Timothy 3:6–7 (KJV 1900)

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

James 4:6 (KJV 1900)

But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

2 Peter 2:1–3 (KJV 1900)

But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction. And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of. And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.

1 John 2:16 (KJV 1900)

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.