Living in Wedded Bliss

Introduction

Please keep your bible open to 1 Peter 3.

We’ve been told that we do not belong in this world, we are just traveling through. And because of this we interact with this world differently than those who belong to this world. Peter tells Christians to have honorable conduct among the Gentiles. He then gives examples of three subordinate roles within Greco-Roman society. In 2:13-17, he speaks very generally to all people who are residents to submit to the laws of the land. Verses 18-25 speak to the household slaves, and though we don’t have slaves in modern Australia, we are able to relate these truths to any Believer who has some immediate authority over them. In 1 Peter 3:1-7 we see Peter using the most common example in any society, Marriage.

I find it interesting that in each of these three passages the action is the same. If you are a resident of a country, submit. If you are a worker, whether you are paid or volunteer, submit. If you are a wife, submit. If you are a husband, that right submit. Submit, submit, submit, submit. He doesn’t say, submit when you feel like. He doesn’t say to submit if you feel like it. He doesn’t say, if you feel hurt or guilty by what the authority is telling you to do, rebel. He says very plainly, submit to all authority.

We submit until the authorities command something God forbids, or forbids something God commands.

In this day and age, it seems almost ridiculous that a preacher would commit himself to preach on right roles within marriage. Most modern men and women believe there is no difference between the two sexes and so the archaic form of wives submitting to their husbands is not taken seriously. The major problem is their understanding of submit, and I think I we know enough on meaning of submit, by now, that every one here will understand the biblical view. The other problem is with the men. We are all too happy to give the reigns over to our wives. Our thinking might go along the lines of: I don’t want the responsibility, I didn’t ask for it so you have it. Heterosexual marriage is not sort after in our times. they would rather just live in a de facto relationship. The major issue here is commitment. We are not committed to submitting to one another in our marriages.

Let’s get into the text.

Wives

Christ’s Example

In verses 1 and 7, we see the word likewise, The word likewise refers us back to 1 Peter 2:21-25. Jesus showed us the correct way to submit to authority.

Most of the learning we do as we is by example. As babies grow they learn all kinds of things from those around them. As we talk with them they learn language. As we interact with them they discover how to walk, kick a ball, run, catch, ride. Children have been labelled as little sponges, lapping everything up as they follow our example.

Nothing changes as we grow up, either. We go to school and look to our teachers and peers following their example. We watch television, look at social media, and read popular magazines, which are all there to make us feel like we are missing out on some part of life experience. It has gone past second nature and is now primary nature to keep up with the Jones’. Magazines are placed at the front of the checkouts to grab our attention and make us want to imitate their “perfect” lives. All televisions, social media, and magazines, do is fill our minds with trash. As Christians we are to believe God’s truth,. This can only happen when we spend more time filling our minds with Him than we do filling our minds with the latest mindless activity of the world. This is why Peter says likewise, because he knows as well as anybody how the world operates. One of Jesus’ roles is to be the rule, or standard, of how we submit to authority. The main example given in the previous verses is that of his trial on the Friday morning of His crucifixion.

Peter is telling Believers that no matter whether you are a resident, a slave, a wife, or a husband, their is always someone to submit too.

Your Own Husbands

Chapter 3 begins (1 Peter 3:1), Wives be submissive to your own husbands. In the first century and a woman got married the wife would leave her father’s gods in the past and take on her husband’s gods. Wives were, also, the husband’s property and were to obey them. There was a reality of social suicide for the husband, if his wife followed different gods to him. In fact it was seen as an act of defiance, leaving the husband and family deeply embarrassed, and often led to conflict, and death. I can understand why new believing wives felt the weight of submission to Christ and obedience to her husband. So how was a Christian wife to live with her unbelieving husband? The answer is quite simple, submit. This issue was wide spread among the Roman Empire as Paul deals with the same issue as Peter. In 1 Corinthians 7:13-14 Paul teaches, But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. Paul’s instruction says that if the unbelieving partner wants to stay married to you, then don’t divorce. Paul infers submission , but, Peter insists it. Submitting is hard work, but it is pleasing to God.

Chaste Conduct

1 Peter 3:1-2, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. The emphasis in these verses is not to preach at your unbelieving husband’s, but to show the Gospel through submitting to them. I read somewhere that one Christian wife used to turn up the volume while the Christian radio station was playing. the louder the better she thought, as then her unbelieving husband would be hearing the Gospel. No one likes to be preached at, not unbelievers, and certainly not unbelieving husbands. All that woman accomplished was to help the husband spend less time with her and more time with his mates down at the pub.

Don’t do it that way, says Peter. Instead, if you desire your husband’s salvation, your willing submission to Him will do far more toward that goal. Telling the Good News of Jesus Christ is important, but if your unbelieving husband doesn’t see them in your actions, then he will be repelled. The last three words of v2, accompanied by fear, really mean accompanied with respect and is the same thing Peter has been saying to all of us since chapter 2, verse 11-12. Wives are to cloth themselves with respectfulness and purity of conduct as they submit to the authority of the unbelieving husband. If God is going to save your husband, he will be won by the wife who demonstrates God’s sovereignty in her submitting to her husband.

Beauty On The Inside

In 1 Peter 3:3-4, Peter continues, Do not let your adornment be merely outward - arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. Peter is explaining the chaste conduct of the willingly submissive wife. I once heard a Christian husband say, with his wife present, that “if the barn needs painting, then paint it.” You may guess that he was not talking about splattering dulux on the shed, but about women making their outward appearance look more beautiful. The word “merely” isn’t in the original Greek, but is included because Peter is not telling women they are not to wear makeup, or put their hair up, or wear nice jewelry, or beautiful clothes. By all means wear them. But do not allow them to be your beauty. Peter commands a beauty that is more than skin deep. The beauty to be on display is the inward fruit of the spirit as the believing wife lovingly submits to her unbelieving husband.

Godly Women

In 1 Peter 3:5-6 Peter reinforces his point by the exemplary behavior of the holy women. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. Peter singles out Sarah as the mother of Israel. We aren’t told who the others are, but they may possibly be Rebekah, Rachel, and Leah, the wives of the Isaac, and Jacob. On his mind may also be the submission of Ruth to her mother in-law, Naomi. His point though is that the godly women in the Old Testament were known for their respectfulness and pure conduct in submitting to their husbands. I am sure Sarah thought her husband was crazy on more than one occasion. Peter though considers Sarah the model wife given that She submitted to Abraham.

All believing wives are Sarah’s daughters if you commit yourselves to the same godly behavior. Are not afraid with any terror is a little difficult here, but most likely refers to not fearing the outcome of your godly submission to the unbelieving husband. In a broad sense, Christians are not to fear anything, especially persecution for doing right. Believing wives will not always behave in a manner that is pleasing to their unbelieving husbands, and so some husbands may have dealt very harshly with their Christian wives.

In the same way that there is a time and place for disobedience to civil authority, so too is there a time and place to not submit to the authority of the unbelieving husband. So if your husband is abusive, then it is right and proper to call the police. But wives are to submit where at all possible.

Husbands

1 Peter 3:7, Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. You might be wondering why Peter spends six verses on women and only 1 on men. The reason is obvious to me. Peter knows as well as all men do that we don’t make errors. The real reason is that this is the only office that Peter is able to influence. You will notice up until this verse Peter has not given one instruction to those who are in authority over the Believers. He rightly doesn’t address the government because he is not in the position to change policy or laws. He doesn’t address Masters, either, because he has no power over their actions. However He is able to inform how believing husbands lead their wives.

As I said at the beginning of the sermon, likewise relates the husband to submission within the marriage covenant. The emphasis of submission for the husband is not on obedience to your wife, though. Alternatively the husband is to submit to caring for her needs. We don’t have time to flesh these out fully. However, it is necessary to unpack this important truth a little more.

Knowledge of the weaker vessel.

1 Peter 3:7 says, dwell with them with understanding as to the weaker vessel. Literally the phrase is live according to knowledge as to the weaker vessel. This knowledge or understanding that the husband is to have is simply that the wife is not as physically strong as the husband. At least generally. As we men can attest, the wife is smarter than us, and has more insight into the family life than we do. However, generally speaking, the husband is the stronger of the two. He is also called to be constantly nourishing and cherishing his wfe in every way he can.

Heirs Together

Another area where our wives are not weaker but equal with us is in salvation. He says, as being heirs together of the grace of life. Nowhere in the New Testament does God affirm that men are superior and women inferior. Every person is made by God, in the image and likeness of God. Both males and females are equally coheirs in salvation. Both are given an intelligence, wisdom, morality, the ability to judge what is right and wrong. The same means of salvation. That is not the issue. Galatians 3:28-29 tells us clearly, There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise. Submitting to any authority has nothing to do with superiority. A worker may be more qualified than their supervisor, but must still do as they are told. Jesus is said to have obeyed God the Father during His time on earth, though both are equally God. And the wife, though she must submit, is not the husband’s inferior. Neither is the husband superior to his wife.

Answered Prayer

The last reason we submit to serving our wives is that our prayers may not be hindered. This is the reward God gives to the faithful, caring, loving husband. Both men and women fall short of fully submitting to each other in the Biblical sense. As I was preparing for this message today I could easily think of a few that I am called to improve on, and I know that you can too. Peter here is telling husbands and wives that we need constantly to work on our godly relationship together. When we made that covenant to each other, before God, we committed our lives to the service of the other. To love and obey. To love and cherish. “til death do us part. May God bless your prayers as you submit one to another.

AMEN.