Ephesians 5:22-33

Practical Living: Pleasing God in Marriage

Submission to Christ and Complementarity of the Husband and Wife in marriage

I. Pleasing God in the Role of a Wife (vv. 22-24)

a. The Wife is to submit to the Husband (v.22)

The word submit means

render obedience, to post under the shelter of

Example of submission:

Luke 2:51 NASB95

51 And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart.

Romans 13:1 NASB95

1 Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.

James 4:7 NASB95

7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

1 Peter 5:5 NASB95

5 You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

b. Submit to the Husband as an act of obedience to the Lord (v.22)

Comparison: As to the Lord. (v.22)

This is a service and an act of worship that the woman gives to the Lord himself.

It is the Lord’s will that the wife be submissive to her husband, and if she wants to honour Christ, then one of the concrete ways she does this is by being in submission to her husband.

If a woman refuses to follow the godly leadership of her husband, she is in rebellion, not simply against the husband, but also against Christ.

Qualification:

Some says that for a woman to be obedient to this passage, she must obey her husband no matter what he tells her to do. This is not true.

For example, if her husband tells her to live a life of prostitution, she is to show her obedience to Christ by disobeying her husband’s wicked commands. That woman must disobey her husband, because her husband is commanding her to do something that God forbids. Similarly, if the husband forbids her to do something that God commands, she must disobey her husband

She is not free to disobey simply because she disagrees or because she finds herself inconvenienced by what the husband requires.

Why? The Reason Paul gives is this:

c. The Husband is the head of the Wife (leadership authority is by divine design) (v.23)

Not because of tradition or culture, nor power, nor preference, nor gender.

The wife as helper and companion

Genesis 2:18 NASB95

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

(helpmate, not servant)

d. Learn from the example of the Church’s submission to Christ (v.24)

Comparison

Jesus is the head of the church (The relationship of Jesus to the Church/bride).

What Jesus did for the Church - the savior (v.23)

II. Pleasing God in the Role of a Husband (vv. 25-29)

a. The Husband is to love the wife (v.25)

The Word love used here is Agapao - unconditional, sacrificial, benevolent love.

Comparison:

b. The Husband is to Imitate the Love of Christ for the Church (v.25)

Just as Christ also loved the Church (v.25)

What Christ did for the Church - gave himself for her (v.25)

The kind of rule that the husband is to have over his wife is to be modeled on the Leadership of Jesus.

Some husbands respond, ‘I’ll love my wife as Christ loved the church, as soon as she starts to submit herself to me!’ But that’s not how Christ loved the church. Christ loved a church that was not submissive to him. Christ died for a church that was in rebellion against him.

Some wives will say, ‘I will subject myself to my husband, when he starts loving me.’

No, both husband and wife have a responsibility before God to conduct themselves according to the word of God in their marriage.

Why Did Christ die? (vv. 26-27)

To Sanctify the Church

To Cleanse the church

To Be Holy and Blameless

c. Love your wife as you love yourself (v.29)

Pattern for the Husband to Follow in loving the Wife (v.29)

protect her

nourish her (promote health and strength- feed her with the Living Word of God)

cherish her (take care, comfort, respect; as opposed to power struggle, battle of authority)

The husband is responsible for the leadership of the home. He is accountable to God for how the home is managed, and how the affairs of the home are conducted.

III. Unity in Marriage (vv. 30-33)

a. Leaving and Cleaving (v.31-32)

Leave home and be joined with your spouse.

Priorities changes - parents to spouse and new fam that you are building

In Christianity, the union is very profound. People become of one mind, one concern, and one passion. That goes deep in a healthy marriage; the two are like one person.

v.32 - Analogy: Christians are to leave behind his “false gods”, old life, vices, earthly pleasures and follow Christ and be joined with Christ.

b. The whole basis of the relationship is built upon love, cherishing and respecting one another. (v.33)

Conclusion:

The nature of marriage is complementarity. A wife is a “helper” who “complements” her husband in every way. A helping role is a worthy one, not implying inferiority. The wife, therefore, helps the husband to lead their family to serve and glorify God. The husband also complements his wife so that together they become a new balanced entity that God uses in an enhanced way.