Life Together Part 2, Matthew 18:15-35

In Matthew 18:1, Jesus’ disciples ask Him who will be the greatest in the kingdom? The disciples misunderstood the nature of His kingdom, and that misunderstanding is visible in their pursuit of personal gain and position. But, knowing the root of their question was the nature of His kingdom, Jesus replied to their question by teaching them what life in His kingdom is like.

At this point in our study of the gospel of Matthew we are referring to these sermons as a series entitled “Life Together.”

In part one of Life Together we looked at Matthew 18:1-14 and noted that Life together is marked by humility.

Life together is marked by humility

1. Humility is a sign of conversion

2. Humility cares about the righteousness of others

3. Humility places purity over pride

4. Humility loves your neighbor as yourself

Our passage today is often referenced when talking about church discipline. Church discipline is…

I believe that this passage is foundational to the practice of church discipline. But, before we examine what church discipline is, it is best to understand the why behind church discipline.

The why of church is discipline is more important than the practice of church discipline.

To understand why we practice church discipline, and to understand it’s place in our Life together let’s look again at Matthew 18:12-14.

“12 What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? 13 And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. 14 So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.” - Matthew 18:12–14 (ESV)

The verses that follow in Matthew 18:15-20 are meant to be understood in relation to the parable of the 1 and 99. The steps that Jesus outlines in our passage today are the way that we as Christians participate in the Father’s pursuit of His flock when they wander.

Life together is shaped by the heart of God

Jesus teaches His disciples about confronting one another over sin because He cares deeply about the welfare and spiritual condition of those who belong to Him.

Jesus said in Matthew 11:27–30 (ESV), “27 All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. 28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

The heart of Jesus Christ is tender, open, loving, understanding, and willing to save. Jesus desires for you to walk freely and closely with Him through this life and into eternity.

Dane Ortlund writes, “Jesus Christ’s desire that you find rest, that you come in out of the storm, outstrips even your own.”

What he means is that Jesus has done more for your salvation than you will ever do. Jesus doesn’t save you as a fair transaction for your efforts. No, Jesus doesn’t even tell you to leave your burdens and struggles behind when you come to Him. Jesus tells you to bring your burden, you don’t have to bring any form of payment, and He will freely give you rest. Jesus goes further to secure your rest and salvation that you have ever gone.

And, it’s this heart that shapes our life together. We are called to care so much for the well-being of one another that we would go and bring one another home when we wander. You cannot bring a wandering brother or sister back from their sin without confrontation.

The gospel itself is bad news and good news. The gospel involves the confrontation of pointing out sin and sharing the good news of Jesus Christ. Jesus confronted sin His ministry and teaching, but ultimately Jesus confronted sin itself on the cross and secured our salvation through His victory over death.

Our example is Jesus, and our motivation for confronting one another over sin must be motivated by the cross of Christ.

We care enough to confront, because Jesus cared enough to be crucified.

Matthew 18:15-20 says, 15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Reading Matthew 18:15-20 in light of the parable in verses 12-14 provides the context necessary to practice these steps the right way. You cannot just pluck Matthew 18:15-20 out of the Bible and use them however you want.

You can only use them in the context of Life together. Notice the context for these actions. They are personal and they are within the confines of the local church. Even when Jesus tells us to take a matter beyond a small group, He keeps it in the confines of those who we are doing life together with in the local church. It’s so much public as much as it becomes a family matter.

In Matthew 18:18-20 Jesus gives the church authority over one another. In Matthew 16 Jesus uses the same language related to Peter. This passage and many others is why we don’t teach that Jesus gave all authority to one man, Peter. But, that Peter represented all of the disciples in his confession about Jesus as the Messiah.

Jesus gives authority to the church to rebuke and restore one another according to the gospel, or according to the Bible.

Life together requires submission to the authority of Scripture over the church

This means that the church follows the instructions that God gives us regarding all of life together. And “as we follow Jesus’ guidelines and pursue the brother with the loving heart of the pursuing Father, we can rest assured that our decisions on earth are in keeping with his in heaven. He has given us all the guidance we need, and his Holy Spirit is with us to help us fulfill his instructions.” - Stuart Weber, Holman NT Commentary

Life together requires a commitment to one another in the church

Many churches today are missing the depth of relationships and commitment to one another that we see in Scripture. But, this is no excuse for any church to continue on in shallow or complacent relationships with one another.

We must recapture the types of relationships that we see in the church of the Bible. We must care about another and also care for one another. We have to reject the ideas that only a few people or a pastor are the ones who care for the whole flock. We need to embrace again the relationship that Paul describes in Ephesians 5:15-21

“15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

We must be committed to one another to the degree that we will leave the safety of the moment and go bring one another back we wander. And Jesus teaches the depth of this truth by telling us to go and bring home the one who sinned against us.

Again, this is in keeping with His example. Jesus came to save those who had sinned against Him, and He calls us to go confront and restore the ones who have done the same to us.

Steps to restoration in the church

I want to call these steps to restoration because I want to keep the goal of these actions in view. Church discipline, as it is often called, is for the purpose of repentance and restoration.

The goal of all discipline in the Bible is repentance and restoration. God’s goal in the OT when He disciplines Israel is their repentance. Our goal as parents when we discipline our children should be their repentance and restoration. The goal for any steps of discipline in the church is always repentance and restoration.

Step One: Personal and Private

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

This is the equivalent of 1 leaving the 98 to go and get the 1 who left the 99. But, it has the unique characteristic of it being the 1 who is sinned against by the 1 who left.

This is a full picture of what it means when Paul writes in Philippians 2:3–4 (ESV), “3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Step Two: Personal and Private

6 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

This is like one sibling going and getting a few other siblings to confront another sibling. Remember though, the whole intention of these instructions is to go and get the 1 who has wandered from the 99.

So, this is 3 leaving the 96 to go and get the 1 who left the 99.

I called it personal and private because the intent is to keep the circle small. The sin isn’t something that has impacted the whole church, we are dealing with a sin toward another brother, not the whole church.

There are instructions in Scripture dealing with sin that impacts the whole church. And, we will get to that. But, for now the steps to restoring a brother who has sinned against you are private and personal in hopes that he repents and comes back to the fold.

The increase in people involved is meant to demonstrate the agreement that sin has happened and it also demonstrates the depth of care and concern the church is to have for one another. Jesus instructs us to demonstrate the weight of the sin and the depth of care by taking a few others to restore a brother.

Step Three: Take it to the whole family

17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.

This step, when combined with the next sentence helps us to see that the whole family knows what has happened and is also involved in the restoration effort. In this situation I think it’s acceptable to picture an empty sheep fold because they have all gone out to bring their brother home.

The goal is for the whole family, or church, to demonstrate unity in both the rebuke of sin and the call to restoration. As if we all together say you have sinned, but we also all want you to come back home and do life together with us. Because we have submitted ourselves to the Lord and committed ourselves to one another we are under the authority of the church. If the whole family agrees that there is a sin to repent of, then that should carry the weight that leads to repentance.

The hope in the instructions that Jesus gives is for the rebuke to be sincere. You might think that the person is only confronting you because its personal. But, when it goes public to the whole family, and the whole family agrees, then repentance should be the clear path to take.

This is the intent of verses 18-20. When the church agrees they represent the will of God and carry the authority to bind and loose in the kingdom. And, in the rare situation where the one being confronted doesn’t repent and be restored, Jesus gives us step four.

Step Four: Dismissal from the family

“And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

Step four is not the goal, but sometimes it is the necessary outcome. This step means that when a brother or sister resists the rebuke of the whole family, the only alternative is to treat them as if they are not a member of the family. Gentiles and tax collectors were unclean and in need of salvation. Treating a member of the church this way means they are no longer a member of the church because they have refused to respond to their sin the way that one of God’s little ones should.

But, again, we must reiterate the goal is for repentance and restoration. And, if there is repentance after this action, there should be restoration.

I mentioned earlier that this passage speaks to when one brother sins against another brother, but that there are other passages with different instructions that speak to when a member of the church sins against the church.

The only time sin should be dealt with publicly is when it is known, serious, and unrepentant.

To illustrate what kinds of sin that are brought before the church John Angell James put the following list together:

5 types of sins that go directly to the family (Known, Serious, and Unrepentant)

1. Scandals and public immoralities (1 Corinthians 5:11-13)

1 Corinthians 5:11–13 (ESV)

11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

2. Denying Christian doctrine (Galatians 1:8; 2 Timothy 2:17-21; 1 Timothy 6:35; 2 John 10)

Galatians 1:8 (ESV)

8 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed.

3. Stirring up division and discord in the church (Titus 3:10)

Titus 3:10 (ESV)

10 As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him,

4. Failing to provide for close relatives in need (1 Timothy 5:8)

1 Timothy 5:8 (ESV)

8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

5. Refusal to reconcile with a brother (Matthew 18:17)

Matthew 18:17 (ESV)

17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

This list doesn’t mean that every sin isn’t important, it just means that we aren’t told to take every sin we know of and go public and call for church removal. In fact, like we see in Matthew 18, God’s intention is that sin would be addressed personally and privately. The only reason there are more steps is when a brother or sister refuses to repent.

But, in submission to Scripture and in our commitment to one another we must take these sins seriously and work as a church to see those found in these restored, or follow the Lord’s instructions for removal.

Regarding removal, I want to emphasize that removal means removing someone from membership and typically denying them the Lord’s supper until they repent. Removal from membership does not mean a person cannot attend. In fact, the hope is that he or she would attend in an effort to be restored, and the loss of the Lord’s supper would serve as one more demonstration of the weight of the sin they have committed in hopes that they would repent and be restored as the Christian they profess to be.

Because the goal is repentance and restoration, let’s look at the rest of Matthew 18 to see how we respond to the repentant brother or sister.

Matthew 18:21-35 (ESV)

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.

Life together is marked by humility and grace

Again, Jesus is our example for this. His life and death is marked by humility and grace. Jesus humbled himself all the way to the cross to save us, and the well of grace is deeper and wider than the oceans.

There is no end to the reception of our repentance. As many times as you ask for forgiveness from the Lord it will be given to you.

This doesn’t mean that Jesus is overlooking sin or dismissing sin in any fashion. In fact it’s the opposite. Jesus deals with our sin on the cross, teaching us the true depth and significance of our rebellion. Jesus died for things that we routinely justify in our own hearts and tolerate in others.

The parable Jesus told about the servant who has forgiven reminds us of the truth that we have been forgiven the debt of all of our sin, therefore we can forgive our brothers for some of their sin.

Colossians 3:12–14 (ESV) says,

12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

We are called to forgive as those who have been forgiven, and this way of life requires humility and grace to others patterned after the humility and grace of Jesus.

Closing thoughts:

1. You’re not a detective, your family

The goal of this passage is to teach us the depth of care and concern for one another in the family of God. Jesus did not send His disciples out to be sin detectives, but He did send them out to love one another.

1 Peter 4:8 (ESV) says, “8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” This means that instead of going around looking for sin to rebuke and confront, go about seeking demonstrate your love for one another. Again, this isn’t a dismissal of sin, but it helps bolster the foundation that is necessary to be forgiving to those who do sin against you, while also being humble and gracious to those who are caught in sin.

2. You’ve got your own sin to focus on first.

Jesus has instructed the disciples to care for one another’s righteousness and personal purity. As far back as Matthew 7 Jesus taught us to first deal with our own sins before we point out the sin in another.

Matthew 7:3–5 (ESV)

3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Life together is shaped by the heart of God, and the heart of God is demonstrated through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus.

Love like Jesus

Sacrifice like Jesus

Forgive like Jesus

Show grace like Jesus

And be humble like Jesus… and if you have never experienced any of those from Jesus, then come and be saved by Jesus.