Time to Grow Up

Big Idea

Tension: What happens to Ishmael when Isaac is born, circumcised and weaned, so he is sent out from his family, and is dying of thirst in the wilderness?

Resolution: he cries out to God and God hears him.

Exegetical Idea: When Isaac is born, circumcised and weaned, so he is sent out from his family, and is dying of thirst in the wilderness, he cries out to God and God hears him.

Theological Idea: God providentially uses the pain of leaving our parents to make us converted and mature in Christ.

Homiletical Idea: God providentially uses the pain of leaving our parents to convert and mature us in Christ.

Outline

Introduction:

Exposition :

God visits Sarah as he has promised (vs. 1-2)

The son whom Sarah had born to Abraham (vs. 3), because of course we know that Abraham has another son, Ishmael

Rising Action - 3 Coming of Age Stages

Isaac’s Circumcision at 8 days

Abraham is 100 years old (Sarah would be 99 and Ishmael would be 13)

Sarah said “whoever laughs” this is ominous and foreshadowing

Isaac’s Weaning at 2-3 years old (8-14)

Isaac is probably 2-3 years old. Which means that Ishmael is probably between the ages of 15-16.

Sarah saw Ishmael “laughing” - This laughter was probably something violent and threatening. I think it is fair to say that Ishmael resented Isaac and was violent and threatening towards him. Isaac’s life is imperilled.

Is sin nature or nurture? Yes.

The cultural context - Now, there was a law in ancient Babylon that if a female slave had borne the head of the household children like here, then when the head of the household would die, she would go free. This is in effect the same thing.

Theological Context - God had chosen Isaac to be the bearer of hte covenant himself. That Isaac was going to continue the name of Abraham, and through Isaac would come the Messiah.

The thing is still “evil” to Abraham. He doesn’t want his son to move out. He still loves his son.

God promises him that he will make a great nation. So Abraham has to trust God that God will take care of him.

Ishmael’s moving out (14-16)

Hagar deposits Ishmael under the bush and goes off about a bowshot

Hagar does not want to live to see her son die, she is suicidally depressed at this point.

We get some insight into Hagar’s relationship with Ishmael, naar vs. yeled.

In God or Abraham’s eyes, Ishmael is a naar, a young man (21:12, 17, 18, 19, 20).

Up until this point of the story, in Hagar’s eyes, Ishmael is a yeled, a little boy (21:14, 15, 16)

So what is Ishmael going to do? here he is, his father has cast him out, his step mom hates him, he is bitter and vengeful to his little brother, and his mom infantalizes him. What is he supposed to do? He is at the end of his rope.

Climax (17-20)

God heard the voice of the boy (17). Which means that he was crying out to him.

The angel of the Lord - Christ himself. The incarnate Christ has met Ishmael at the key point of maturity, when he is broken down, when nothing else makes sense.

God recognizes that he is a naar, a young man, and he tells his mom so.

Take hold of his hand. (vs. 18) Why? To support him? No. To be supported. Ishmael spent his whole life being infantalized by his mom, but now he needs to step up and take care of her.

She gave the water to the boy to drink, a potentially very submissive role. She’s in essence telling Ishmael, I accept you as a man. I accept that it’s your time to grow up.

In vs. 19, no longer is Ishmael a yeled, but now in Hagar’s eyes, he is a Naar.

God was “with the man.” The reference to the bow is a connection to Noah. Just as God was there for Noah, so God is there for Ishmael.

God takes his aggressive nature, and redeems it, and turns it into something that he can provide for his mother with.

This never would have happened if Ishmael would have stayed with Abraham.

Every parent has to be willing to do what Abraham just did here. And every child has to be willing to go out into the wilderness. That every child has to come to a place where they grow up.

What does it mean to “grow up”? It means to take responsibility for your own relationship with God, and it means to use what God has given you to provide for yourself and for others.

Conclusion: Even Hagar realizes this. And she shifts from trying to take responsibility for Ishmael, to encouraging Hagar to take responsibility for himself. She gets a bride for him in vs. 21.

Implication

One of God’s greatest tools in our lives is the pain of growing up. After having done a lot of college ministry over the years, I can tell you that one of the greatest difficulties for most college students is realizing that their parents aren’t perfect. But it’s only when we realize the limitations of our earthly father, that we see the bigness of our heavenly father. It’s only when we are in the wilderness dying of thirst that we are willing to call out to Christ. It’s when we’ve just come through the flood that we see God’s faithfulness. So if you are here, and you see the shortcomings and the faults and the failures of your parents, take heart, because God is bigger. (Ps 68:15, 27:10) There is a reason that the principle aim of the gospel is adoption. We are bought by the blood of Jesus Christ and sealed by his Holy Spirit as children of God.

So we need to be a people that grows up.

To grow up means

To have our own relationship with God

To let God redeem our aggressions for his glory.

Each of us needs to be willing to leave mom and dad and take responsibility for our own faith.

Too many adults are teetering on the edge of adolescence.

At some point you have to stop blaming your parents for your problems. Some of us have maybe left home years ago, but we’ve never really left home. Of course they failed you. That’s what humans do.

But it’s not fair! And that may be true. But God uses the hardships of life to forge maturity. If you and I keep running away from the wilderness, we keep returning back to mom and dad every time there’s a trouble and we need someone to blame, man we will never get what God has for us out in the desert.

We need to let God redeem our anger and our aggression for his glory. No longer should we put our energy and effort into playing children, but we should let God transform that.

Children, did you notice that part of growing up for Ishmael was taking care of Hagar? Yea. To grow up means no longer to make your parents take responsibility for you, but eventually to take responsibility for your parents.

Parents need to be about equipping the young men and women to grow up.

We need to encourage them to take hold of the faith. We need to indoctrinate them. Read the Bible to them. Pray over them. We need to catechize them. We need to be prepared for the time when they will have to step out.

We need to be willing to let them leave. To encourage them to take responsibility for their own lives. To not live like children any more. My son is about to start crawling any day. And you all are going to think it is the cutest thing. But if he’s still doing that in 25 years, we’re all going to have problems, aren’t we? Notice how Hagar goes and gets Ishmael a wife. Don’t you think that would have been really easy for her not to do? For her to continue to manipulate Ishmael into making his whole life about her? But that woudln’t have been helping him gorw up. That would have been infantalizing him, making him grow backwards.

Church, we need to help children grow up.

If you are part of this church you have a part to play. If you are older, take aside some of the younger people. Take them golfing. Read the Bible with them. Get to know them. They need you.

Too many churches try to extend the adolescence of their children and youth. We want to do the opposite here. We want to grow them up. That’s why we do milestones. That’s why we do baby dedications. That’s why we give Bibles to kids when they get to first grade. That’s why when we have children going from fifth grade to sixth grade, we’re going to throw a big party and celebrate with them and pray for them. Then they’re going to sit in the service like an adult. They’re going to come into the deep end. They’re going to go into the wilderness. It will be hard. That’s the point.

Listen, as a church, we need young men and women who grow up in the faith. We need young men who are strong and courageous like David. Who are willing to go kill a giant if the Lord’s honor is riding on the line. And we need women who are ferociously godly. Women like Deborah which make generals shake in their boots. Women like Esther who are here for such a time as this. We need men and women who put their peers to shame with how much they love Jesus.

We need Ishmaels and Isaacs, we need Hagars and Abrahams. Men who grow up. Women who grow up. Men who are wise and grow to be strong elders. Women who are godly and discerning and who grow to be matriarchs. We need Abrahams and Hagars who are willing to let their children go. WIlling to make them grow up. Willing to kick them off the couch, to throw them into the deep end, to get them to grow up. And we need all of God’s grace. Amen. Amen.