A Father’s Formative Influence Over His Household - Genesis 16:1-16

Genesis 16 A Father’s formative influence over his household INTRO A question to hold God’s Word before us this morning in our hands as if we are holding a gift to be received. Which God’s Word certainly is and by His help He will permit me to impart as such. Like both hands taking the gift to be received, I’ll ask the same question at the beginning and then the end of the sermon. That question being: What patterns are being set in your household? Patterns are set by examples shown over a lapse of time. Words matter, they are significant, but it is our practice.. our example our habits that formulate the influence in our household. And the one who has the most influence though we all contribute….but the one who has the most influence by their example within the home is the parent….and among the parents…the father. If I were to ask you what if ABRAM had a nickname given to him in the New Testament…what would you say it to be? I’ll give you a hint. There is a song on it. (Hum it)……..Father Abraham….had many sons…and many sons had father Abraham. I am one of them…and so are you…so let’s just praise the Lord…right leg…left arm…Father Abraham…and so on goes the song. Father Abraham. Noted as Father by being whom God first made the covenant promise to. “That through Abraham…. GOD would work to restore all that sin had ruined in God’s perfect World. God’s story of redemption. That through an offspring of Abraham…all nations would be blessed. Ultimately,..that a way would be provided whereby a sinner may become righteous before God. This was fulfilled through JESUS and it is by FAITH in Him whereby one is made righteous. (Romans 8:3-4). “For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” And this is by FAITH in His name. Abraham believed God and God counted it to him as righteous and we likewise believe in the same promise, now seeing Jesus as the fulfillment of it and also have it counted to us as righteousness. SO, that is Father Abraham in that context…but he is also…or I should say …“will soon be”,….a father in the context of being a dad within his home as this covenant promise unfolds. And as a dad…a father to be…he is setting patterns that will carry influence through his household to have either harmful … or helpful effects. Either way, he brings a formative influence over his household for harm or help. As do we as fathers, and together as parents. TODAY we see both effects taking place by two different fathers. For indeed, a father has formative influence over his household…period. That’s the core take home from God’s Word today. A father’s formative influence over their household. NOW, lest you are thinking this sermon is just for dads… “cool. I can check out.” Halt that thought. FOR, though the example from the passage before us is drawn from a father’s formative influence over his household…the same principle can be equally applied to how our practice..our patterns…our habits have formative influence on ourselves….on who you are becoming first and foremost…BUT THEN go outward on the influence we bring to our circle of….. ‘influence’ hence the saying. SO whether you are a youth or a Grand dad. It’s an important truth for us all to receive this morning. The formative influence that our practice…our patterns…our habits produce. Let’s get some time frame perspective at this juncture…for I find it helpful to do so. Genesis 12:4 tells us that “Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran.” And then in the chapter in consideration today. Genesis 16 ….. verse 16 God’s Word informs us that “Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore Ishmael to him.” Which is when Abram first became a dad. 75 to 86. 11 years has lapsed from the time Abram left Haran, as God told him, (calling him to go to the land of Canaan)….to the time when Hagar bore Ishmael to him. Which will be seen today. During the span of the 11years, a the famine took place, remember?….which caused Abram to go to Egypt, ABRAM is sent out of Egypt by Pharaoh and returns to the place he first called upon the name of the Lord in the land of Canaan. It’s here where Abram and Lot separate due to the land not being able to support all of them. He goes south from that place in the hill country between Bethal and Ai,….goes south from there to Hebron by some oaks..where he settles and builds his 3rd alter….calling upon the name of the Lord again. Following this his Nephew LOT gets in trouble while living in the city of Sodom that was defeated and taken captive by the four allied kings. LOT and his household are among those captives….ABRAM rescues LOT and shortly after meets this mysterious character Melchizedek who blesses Abram and receive, from Abrahm….tithes. The next scene is where GOD renews his covenant with Abram in chapter 15,….where Abram believes the Word of the Lord…the Lord’s promise made to Abram and “God counted it to him as righteousness.” (Genesis 15:6) This brings us to where we are currently in Abram's life marked by both faithfulness and faithlessness. Time has lapsed and therefore, some patterns are formulating or perhaps even ‘set’ in his household by his example over those years. And (verses 1-3) provide intro into our first point. Let’s go ahead and read that. Note the time frame Genesis 16:3 “So, after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her servant, and gave her to Abram her husband as a wife.” A year later, making it year 11, as Genesis 16:16 states…Ishmael was born to him. A decade has passed…SARAI aware that God has made these promises to Abram, is very much aware that she remains without child and temptation enters Sarai’s heart to take matters into her own hands as best she can. A bit reminiscent of Abram’s doing when they went down to Egypt during the famine….wouldn’t you say? Abram ‘then’, the husband, was leading by bad example,…and it comes back on him 10 years later. WARNING TO TAKE NOTICE OF…with our First point. BODY 1) FIRST POINT - (Genesis 16:1-6). Bad examples return with harmful effects Bad examples return with harmful effects. Abram’s beautiful, very attractive wife…sway’s him contrary to what he believed God would do….which,…God counted to him as righteousness for believing so…that God would do just what He promised. SARAI devices a plan contrary to it….which you could say were seeds from Egypt that Abram planted…right? SARAI pitches the plan to ABRAM who doesn’t give any kickback whatsoever,…mind you, he is quick to comply…WHAT DOES THIS SHOW US? HIS resolve is weak. Following a ridiculous campaign to rescue his Nephew Lot from 4 kings, which He, by God’s glory, triumphed in doing and then has this amazing intimate time in conversation with God who affirms His promise for the umpteenth time with Abram…this time with a covenant by sacrifice… Following all this, it’s revealed, there remained existing in Abram’s flawed character the vulnerability to fall prey to a weak….resolve. Abram listened to the voice of his…wife. What is not said….but implied..is that he was not listening to the voice of the Lord. If there is a stronger deterrent to listening to the voice of the Lord than a man’s own wife whom he loves, I challenge you to make it known. You may say your own voice ,…which certainly can and does deceive you at times…but if you are operating in faith and seeking the Lord’s will in your life which He has clearly made known ,…such as with Abram here..at least where we last left him….then I believe you are able to bridle your own conflicting thoughts that would rise against it.…keep them in check….recognizing them for what they are. Saying “uh ugh.” “I reject that thought…I don’t want you here. I know your root is anchored deep in lies. Get out!” WHILE, when it is your spouse,…whom with your heart you aim to please, the temptation to be swayed can-be-very powerful.... This is WHY Paul gave due attention on this matter between husband and wives or even between the betrothed in…. (1 Corinthians 7). Listen to a portion of his argument in (verses 32-35). Paul writes….“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. (That’s critical) And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you (meaning not to prevent you from getting married), but to promote good order and to secure your undivided-devotion to the Lord.” IN SHORT, and for the point I am making in regards to Abram listening to the voice of his wife. Husbands interest are divided. They just are. DIVIDED between the Lord and his wife. That’s WHY Paul is saying if you are self-controlled and able to live singularly devoted to the Lord….there is great good and benefit in that…but only if …only if this is what God is calling you to and has granted you the ability to do so. Otherwise you are bound to yield to sin of sexual immorality. SO, if it’s clear God has not given you the strength to remain self controlled and single all your life…then by all means, get married. But when married…know this, interests are divided and the tug on your heart your wife has the power to do is significant. Significant enough to sway you from what God has placed on your heart. We need to be careful though…don’t we? For the voice of our wife equally has the power to sway us in alignment with the Lord’s will as well …..for she is indeed our suitable helpmate. (Genesis 2:18,20) WELL,..what do we do here pastor? At first I hear you say… “Don’t listen to your wife but the Lord only”…and then I hear you say…. “Listen to your wife, for the Lord may be speaking through her.” “Come on man. Throw me a bone here. Give me something I can use.” I AIM TO. It’s both. It’s both. Listen to your wife and be willing to be swayed by her so long as it does not go against convictions the Lord has clearly made known to you. “So what if it’s somewhere in the gray area?”…You ask. Just uncertain as to whether I should be swayed or clearly confirmed in my heart that I should not? What then?..…Which,…I venture to say….is most of the realm we operate in….AMEN. So what to do then? HOW do you test this to know which way to go? BEGIN by prayer and examining it against Gods Word. Begin there. What does Scripture have to say on the subject matter? NEXT, where does peace abide? Is peace present for the both of you? And if not…WAIT… So long as you are able…WAIT….Wait till peace comes….while all along seeking the Lord in PRAYER…. and in His Word… that-it-would. He is trustworthy in His time to deliver. LASTLY, seek counsel together. Open up the conversation with a trusted couple and hear what they would have to offer for counsel and prayer support. We have one another church for such mutual support. BE humble enough to invite others in. Chances are strong they have gone through OR are going through similar things and the help will not only be certain, ….but mutual. This is what ABRAM should have done. He should have held firm in his resolve of what he believed God about even if it meant for a time his wife would not be pleased. Which is so very hard. I say that as a husband. When my wife is aching…my heart aches along with her even when it is a result of me holding firm to the clear convictions I have from God. Permission to speak frankly…IT STINKS! It totally does…But it is for the good of my wife and our whole household. GOD will prove so every time when we hold firm to His promises. He is trustworthy. So,…husbands, graciously, respectfully, humbly… hold resolve in what God has made clear to you while not closing your ear to your wife. WELL, Abram does not do this and what is the outcome? (Verses 4-6) as we finish up this FIRST point. “And he (that’d be Abram) went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she (Hagar) saw that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her mistress (who is Sarai). And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done to me be on you! (She could have said the same thing to Abram back in Egypt)…moving on…I gave my servant to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked on me with contempt. May the LORD judge between you and me!” (And now check our Abram’s compassion on the situation) But Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your servant is in your power; do to her as you please.” (Ouch…) Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her.” (His bad example returns to him,….as does…. his lack of compassion for others…it was present back in Egypt..it’s present here once again). The devised plan is executed, a child is conceived, things deteriorate rapidly. Abram’s past bad examples and his lack of resolve in obedience to God results in strife in the home. What seemed perhaps helpful and pleasant in the beginning…all self serving…(“embrace my Egyptian servant as your wife…go in to her”)…pleasure is involved there,..and there may have even been some deceitful reasoning in ABRAM’S head,…for God had yet to specify that it would be through Sarai by which his offspring would come,…though it is clearly implied…not to mention God’s intervention with Pharaoh when they were in Egypt. But OH…how our minds and hearts can deceive us like that can’t they? It’s conceivable for ABRAM to be thinking… “It’s Sarai’s idea, she is all for it… God said it would be through me, he didn’t specify who the woman would be. Maybe…maybe we can help things along”. It’s been a decade long wait thus far. Dangerous thinking,……and what was the fruit of that thinking and acting on it? Heartache and stressful contentions afterwards, that never left all his days. Echoing the lack of compassion Abram showed his wife when going down to Egypt…this carries on into now with the lack of compassion shown Hagar by SARAI and Abram. All parties are suffering now. Abram, Sarai and Hagar. Abram and Sarai are clearly not happy nor is there relationship flourishing …Can you imagine how this ugly part of their past could just surface at any time when contention was flared up. “Oh Abraham, don’t give me that ‘it was your idea’ speech again….I was there… I know it was my idea….but you certainly didn’t put up any sort of objection to it now did you? Your the husband….you are suppose to take the lead.” LIKE, how many times did that conversation take place I wonder? Plenty I bet. And Hagar is on much of the receiving end of it…as we see here. Acting not in faith…taking matters into your own hands as best you can will bear this fruit…. Abram took matters into his own hands down in EGYPT and His wife Sarai does so here. The father to be, as promised by GOD, has formative influence over his household even before a child is born to him. Note that you singles here. Formative influence taking shape, even before he became a dad. And the harm done thereby is great. A father’s formative influence over his household. How it landed for me again to preach from text that unapologetically tells the honest truth about Abram’s walk of faith….namely his failures…Lord knows. Coincidental…not purposeful,…though it’s fun to jest it so with Ben and Nathan. It’s real though isn’t it? Like our walk of faith with the Lord.…Abram’s life shows progression being made but not without flaws. Not without mistakes. Not without acting…not in faith…but rather,….acting on impatience and anxiousness on God whom Abram truly believed in and the promises God made to him. MAN…sound like anyone you know? Look in the mirror,..right? Growing impatient in the waiting. Feeling anxious about things. Tempting ideas originate within or are brought to you that would sway you to help God move things forward as He promised to do. “I believe you are going to do this God…and here is a way I’ve devised to bring it about…I think this can work” We are all guilty of this. May Gods Word received today strengthen the check in our heart—-Not to. Knowing it is not good for us now and it sets formative influence in our lives. I’m hungry for a good example at this point. How about you? Thankfully, God’s Word supplies….and does so by the example our Heavenly Father shows. What His patterns are that, by grace, have influence upon our hearts as we grow in our knowledge of Him and thereby bring glory to His name as the world sees His character increasingly reflected in our lives. For we are His household. The household of faith. (Galatians 6:10) “..if I delay, Paul writes in (1 Timothy 3:15)… that you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth.” The verse from which the name of this local church body..US..is derived from. Pillar. So, very clear then. We are God’s HOUSE,……. You and I, “….are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, (that is every born again child of God throughout all time) the whole structure being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.” (Ephesians 2:19-22) I say again, WE, the church, you christian,…and your brother and sisters together along with you are the household of God, a dwelling place for God by the Spirit. And our FATHER GOD, Praise to His name,.. has formative influence over His household as that which we aspire to,…..and grow in becoming, .…in the here and now,… by the grace of His Spirit powerfully at work in us through faith in Jesus Christ to bring it about according to His Word. And SO,…for our delight and blessing to be helped by, in these final 10 verses (verses 7-16),…, we see a father’s good example , a father’s compassionate patterns, in God’s care of Hagar whom has fled her home by cause of rejection. Abram’s poor examples return to him with harmful effects and Our Heavenly Father’s good examples follow with healing effects. Which is our second point 2) SECOND POINT (Genesis 16:7-16) Good examples follow with healing effects Let’s go ahead and read these ten verses again (verses 7-16) to enter into this scene taking place. Remember. Hagar has just fled….more or less being rejected by Abram and Sarai. Abram could care less and Sarai was dealing harshly with her. Compassion is ice cold….Hagar is pregnant, homeless, and alone. (verses 7-16) - read Who is this “angel of the Lord?” Let’s be sure we are all track’n together on that before we proceed. It’s the first time in scripture we read about “the angel of the Lord.” In consideration of this phrase,.…let’s begin with the word “angel.” (Hebrews 1:14) describes,…angels plural..as “….all ministering spirits sent out to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation?” Sent out by God to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation. Angel could be defined as a messenger or representative. A spiritual being sent by GOD to serve on HIS behalf for the sake of one…like Hagar here. This would fit well….with the exception that “the angel of the Lord” says in (verse 10) that “I will surely multiply your offspring so that they cannot be numbered for multitude.” Sounding very much as if it’s God Himself speaking. But then at the end of (verse 11) “the angel of the Lord says… ‘The Lord has listened to your affliction’. That’s 3rd person point of view…right? YET,…listen to Hagar’s words in (verse 13) “So she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.” So what is going on here? Something we will encounter at other areas in scripture when “the angel of the Lord is present.” This isn’t the only time. (Gen 22, Num 22, Judges 6)…for a few examples. The authors of scripture referring to “the angel of the Lord” as both Yahweh and also, distinct from Yahweh. To say it’s mysterious and complex is right? And so is our GOD, Amen? Is not God’s Sovereignty and man’s responsibility engaged together in our hearts both mysterious and complex? Is not the incarnation of Jesus Christ both mysterious and complex? Is not contemplation of the trinity.…of a Tri-une God. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit both mysterious and complex? Of course it all is and how could it be otherwise? For if we are able to define God completely then He would cease to be God. “The angel of the Lord” is present here, at times seeming like a distinct representative of the Lord serving Hagar on His behalf…and at other moments…conducting…as Yahweh himself. Either way, though, what is retained is the heart of GOD THE FATHER and the example He sets in His household in His dealings with Hagar. So what do we see as a good example to aspire to and by God’s grace become? What pattern’s are observed by God the Father in His is compassion shown to Hagar? (Verse 7) The angel of the Lord searches for her. God is a Father who leaves the 99 to search for the one lost sheep. (Matthew 18:10-13, Luke 15:4-7). He is a father who pursues. (Luke 19:10) “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Do we share His heart and search out ways to reach the lost? Ones within our household but also beyond…..to the far reaches of our area of influence. Such reflects the heart of our heavenly father and such is a pattern to set by good example in our lives. (Verse 8) The angel of the Lord knows her name and who she is and shows care for her by inquiring about her well being…. and while also…. ..Christian…get this…while also not neglecting her sin. Why do I say that? See how in (verse 8) GOD softly gives attention to the fact that she is not where she is suppose to be. “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going.” Which God most certainly knows…but in His compassionate care for her…this is where He engages. Our Heavenly Father will always, in perfect love and for our good…He will always address sin. Gives attention to it. Much like his encounter with the woman at the well. We would do well to follow His example starting with our own sin. This needs to be seen before the eyes of those whom you bear influence upon. This involves confessing and repenting of sin committed but also your pursuit of holiness in the fear of The Lord whereby a child of God puts to death sin in their life by the Spirit of God. This is what Paul is speaking of in (Romans 8:13). Is this a pattern, a habit, a practice in your life as an example to those whom you bear influence upon? Immediately following GOD addressing Hagar’s sin as He gently engages her. (Verse 9) The angel of the Lord Gives her a command/instruction. (Which would not be an easy one for her to follow). “Return to the one whom you are fleeing from and submit to her.”.. A loving Father Deals with sin and we see GOD here, as a Father, dealing with her sin and calling her to take action. Her behavior towards Sarai back in (verse 4) was uncalled for and sinful and God commands her to return to her place under Sarai. To which she obeys. God the Father always directs those in His household towards obedience. We do well to do likewise…. both by instruction and by our own example of obedient living. Is that a pattern, a habit, a practice in your life as an example to those whom you bear influence upon? (Verses 10-12) The angel of the Lord promises a blessing. GOD makes this wonderful promises to her who is…undeserving. She doesn’t merit this promise….but are any of God’s promises based on merit credited to you and I? NO…It’s all grace. SO, in God’s typical form of grace, HE assures her of this child to be born, marked by a nation of people who will come from him - in other words…a future awaits. Also, a regular reminder to her,…by the name the child is to be given,…that he “GOD” knows her affliction…. ‘Ishmael’ is who he is to be called…God says, which means “God hears”… bringing a regular comfort to her soul. And LASTLY,…the sort of man he will be which conveys that….God knows him. God knows him who is yet to be born. Not a very flattering forecast for Ishmael’s life in some regard…but…. never-the-less one that is known by God and a blessing to Hagar to hear this… who is experiencing healing effects by the compassionate care God the Father is giving her. WITH THIS…the question to pose would be then…Do you, Do I, by example in pattern, habit, and practice in our life bring a blessing to those whom we bear influence upon? Are we a refreshment to them…do we build up…OR do we tear down? Do we bring harmful effects or healing effects by our habits, our patterns…by what formative influence we bring to those around us. OUR household firstly, but also beyond to the full scope of our ‘area of influence’. HAGAR responds in (Verse 13) with naming the place. Beer-lahai-roi “The well of the living One who sees me.” God says to her. “I hear the cry of your affliction…(Sarai)”….she responds “You are a God who sees me.” She is healed. She is restored. She is built up….as should be the formative influence we bring to others. CONCLUSION The question from the beginning returns - That question being: What patterns are being set in your household? OR…in your area of influence? Habits, patterns, practices…down to the smallest details of our lives. Our flow of life day in and day out. It’s unavoidable really…,We are becoming that which our habits, our patterns and practices produce and this has influence on those around us…either for harm or for healing effects. Are we looking to JESUS, the exact imprint of the Father’s nature (Hebrews 1:3) to have His character, His attributes take formative influence over our lives that we may bring that influence to others to the praise of His glory? As His household…you and I…the CHURCH making up “the whole structure being joined together to grow into a holy temple in the Lord…. a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.” (Ephesians 2:19-22). It is our duty and our delight to do so. - PRAY COMMUNION Scripture tells us in (Hebrews 3:5 & 6) How “….Moses was faithful in all God’s house as a servant, to testify to the things that were to be spoken later,….(and in a similar sense that can be applied to every Christian. For every Christian is a servant of the most High God and is equipped by God for the building up of His Church which is His household which we ourselves are a part of.) Something we are to be faithful in like manner. But then the passage goes on to say… “but Christ is faithful over God’s house as a son. And we are his house, if indeed we hold fast our confidence and our boasting in our hope.” Jesus was faithful over God’s house as a Son. The Son of God who laid down his life for his brethren that we may be brought into the Father’s house. The cornerstone of God’s house. Christ Jesus our Lord who was Faithful to The Father’s will to be mocked, beaten and crucified that the Justice of God may be upheld due to our sin who now may receive mercy and forgiveness at the foot of the cross. The elements representing his body broken and his blood shed are prepared for the partaking of in remembrance of him who is now risen, seated and the right hand of the Father and promises to return to take us home to be with Him where forever we will be. After a time of examination…when you are ready. I welcome you to come forward and receive. BENEDICTION (Philippians 4:4-9)