Christ-Centered Husband Living

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r8rmNFycSg

Hearitol silly skit on the importance of listening to our wife.

Opening: talk about the video,

I’ve been there. My mind drifts (sports, ministry, etc)

So, when I told Katherine this was what I was speaking on she laughed out loud!

She knows as much as anyone that I definitely have much to still improve on when it comes to speaking woman.

But, the verse he quotes is important to note because it has a great relational and spiritual impact on the husbands life.

1 Peter 3:7 NASB95

7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

1. Husbands graciously live with your wife.

“live with your wives in an understanding way”

Men have you ever been in a place in your relationship with your wife and felt you just weren’t connecting?

You are talking, words are being exchanged but there just is a total disconnect. Either you aren’t understanding her or it seems she isn’t understanding you?

First, you are not alone. There has been many men who have experienced this kind of wall in their relationship.

In Tender Warrior Stu Weber calls this Speaking Woman.

Much like learning a foreign language, we need to study our wife with great intentionality.

Which means when we see our wife struggling, we gentleness come alongside her and aid her.

Other times she will want to talk and pour out everything on us. But don’t think that means we can simply nod our heads. We need to be actively engaged in the conversation dissecting every word because in that moment our wife needs us to listen closely and understand her and her cares, passions, and desires.

Ultimately, we are the ones to be intentional with learning our wife and building her up and in return we gain the trust and respect of our wives.

Jesus did this for us when he came and died for us.

2. Husbands mindfully live with your wife.

“as with someone weaker”

“Talk about the uniqueness of men and women by God’s design”

Men and women are created differently.

from the beginning we were created to function differently.

Physically, biologically we are different.

Creation (Summarize creation of man)

The way we process information is different

Women are more sensitive to relationships

what’s happening around them

and by God’s design they are made to be cared for and loved.

We are complementary pieces

nether man nor woman is superior we are coheirs with Christ and encourage each other in different ways.

3. Husbands respectfully live with your wife.

“show her honor as a heir of grace of life”

“Talk about how women want to be cherished, seen, heard, valued”

Dr. Willard Harley writes, “A man can have the best intentions to meet his wife’s needs, but if he thinks her needs are similar to his own, he will fail miserably.

- An especially grievous example a man’s mistake is recorded in the Arkansas Democrat-gazette, that some men, if not all men, have at one-time made in their life.

Catcher’s mit perfect gift (but not perfect gift)

“you’d think it was a subscription to Field and Steam or a box of shotgun shells (Saved as stocking stuffers)

maybe you weren’t that clueless. It reminds of of a Boy Meets World episode where Alan Matthews gifts an anniversary gift, she opens this giant gift and there is a wonderful trash compactor. Alan is shocked she doesn’t like it… Alan failed to communicate he truly cared for her because she had a different idea of what an anniversary gift should be than he!

Yes, it was thoughtful, she had said she wanted, even needed one, it showed he had heard her and valued her opinion but his timing of when to give that kind of gift was a little off. It’s like giving a vacuum as a birthday gift. I love you hunny but here clean the house better. It just isn’t romantic.

So are we being romantic, showing that we cherish our wife.

Are we being thoughtful towards her?

What’s foods and drinks does she enjoy

Does she enjoy flowers and cards

Find those things she loves, that are thoughtful and remind her that you are thinking of her even while away and it will help you speak woman.

This year for Katherine’s birthday, I made the decision I was going celebrate her birthday with 6 days of gifts. Her birthday is on the 6th day of the April.

Explain love language gifts, quality time

Each gift was something she loved, it wasn’t expensive, but there was proof of time, proof of paying attention to my wife, and it was planned out.

4. Husbands risk their prayer life when they disregard their wife.

“Talk about how our we are ministering to our wife impacts our fellowship with the Lord and Why.”

If we are fail to love and care for our wives and put great effort into loving her, then we are in sin as husbands. There is this warning at the end of the verse

“so that your prayers will not be hindered.”

Talk about convicting. I know first hand I could be far more invested with my energy in loving my wife. It doesn’t mean that I don’t try and love her and support her.. I just can be better at it. Every time, I put in the effort to show Katherine I truly love her. We grow closer together. But in seasons where I fail to give her the attention she deserves and needs from me, we grow apart little by little.

The here we see that our prayers will be hindered if we do not give our wife the proper love, affection, and attention she deserves. God has called us men to be a tender warrior on our wife’s behalf. In order to do that we need to be walking with the Lord and giving our wife greater attention than our careers and hobbies.

Questions

What “language” does your own wife speak?

Have you been able to connect with your wife effectively?

What would your business look like if you applied the same amount of mental and emotional energy to it that you do to understanding your wife?

When was the last time you made a deliberate attempt to speak your wife’s language? What was the result?